Pro Football Hall-of-Famers By Team, 2020 Edition

Congratulations to the newly-elected members of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. New members are annually announced on the day before the Super Bowl, and that was done again yesterday. In addition, as part of the celebrations of the NFL's 100th season, a "Centennial Class" was elected, which included several people who should have gotten in years earlier.

Here are the record 20 new electees, listed here in chronological order:

* Duke Slater, two-way tackle, one of the NFL's early black stars, 1922 Milwaukee Badgers, 1922-25 Rock Island Independents, 1926-31 Chicago Cardinals.


* Ed Sprinkle, two-way end, 1944-55 Chicago Bears, including their 1946 NFL Championship.

* Mac Speedie, two-way end, 1946-52 Cleveland Browns, including their 1946, '47, '48 and '49 AAFC Championships, and their 1950 NFL Championship.

* Bobby Dillon, defensive back, 1952-59 Green Bay Packers.

* Alex Karras, defensive tackle, 1958-70 Detroit Lions.

* Steve Sabol, who joins his father and co-founder of NFL Films, Ed Sabol.

* Winston Hill, offensive tackle, 1963-76 New York Jets, including their win in Super Bowl III.

* Cliff Harris, safety, 1970-79 Dallas Cowboys, including their wins in Super Bowls VI and XII.

* Harold Carmichael, receiver, 1971-83 Philadelphia Eagles, including their loss in Super Bowl XV; 1984 Dallas Cowboys.

* Donnie Shell, safety, 1974-87 Pittsburgh Steelers, including their wins in Super Bowls IX, X, XIII and XIV.

* George Young, general manager, 1979-97 New York Giants, including their wins in Super Bowls XXI and XXV.

* Jim Covert, offensive tackle, 1983-90 Chicago Bears, including their win in Super Bowl XX.

* Paul Tagliabue, NFL Commissioner 1989-2006.

* Jimmy Johnson, head coach, 1989-93 Dallas Cowboys, including their wins in Super Bowls XXVII and XXVIII; 1996-99 Miami Dolphins.

* Steve Atwater, safety, 1989-98 Denver Broncos, including their wins in Super Bowls XXXII and XXXIII; 1999 New York Jets.

* Bill Cowher, head coach, 1992-2006 Pittsburgh Steelers, including their win in Super Bowl XL.

* Isaac Bruce, receiver, 1994 Los Angeles Rams, 1995-2007 St. Louis Rams, including their win in Super Bowl XXXIV; 2008-09 San Francisco 49ers.

* Edgerrin James, running back, 1999-2005 Indianapolis Colts, 2006-08 Arizona Cardinals, including their loss in Super Bowl XLIII; 2009 Seattle Seahawks.

* Steve Hutchinson, guard, 2001-05 Seattle Seahawks, including their loss in Super Bowl XL; 2006-11 Minnesota Vikings, 2012 Tennessee Titans.

* Troy Polamalu, safety, 2003-14 Pittsburgh Steelers, including their wins in Super Bowls XL and XLIII.

Dillon died last year, Hill in 2016, Sprinkle in 2014, Karras and Sabol in 2012, Young in 2001, Speedie in 1993, Slater in 1966. The rest are still alive.

*

Inductees are listed here with a team if they played, or coached, or were an executive, with them for at least 4 seasons.

I have divided moved teams accordingly (i.e., Johnny Unitas never took a snap for the Indianapolis Colts). "Sure future Hall-of-Famers" are not included, because, as we have seen in baseball, there is no such thing anymore. 

Tenure as a player, or a coach, or an executive is only counted if they were elected as such. In other words, Raymond Berry coached the Patriots into a Super Bowl, and Forrest Gregg did so with the Bengals, but they were elected as a Colts player and a Packers player, respectively, so those are the teams with which they're included.

Ties in the rankings are broken by more players, as opposed to other categories; and then by time in the league. So a team with 4 players is ahead of one with 3 players and 1 coach, and a team with 3 players in 50 years is ahead of one with 3 players in 80 years.

Figures are listed here as follows: Players in chronological order of their Hall of Fame service with the team (even if they had other functions with that team), then coaches, then executives, then broadcasters.

1. Chicago Bears, 31: George Halas (founder, owner, general manager, head coach, player), John "Paddy" Driscoll, George Trafton, Ed Healey, William "Link" Lyman, Red Grange, Bill Hewitt, Bronko Nagurski, George Musso, Dan Fortmann, Joe Stydahar, Sid Luckman, George McAfee, Clyde "Bulldog" Turner, Ed Sprinkle, George Connor, George Blanda, Bill George, Doug Atkins, Stan Jones, Mike Ditka (player & coach), Dick Butkus, Gale Sayers, Walter Payton, Alan Page, Jim Covert, Richard Dent, Dan Hampton, Mike Singletary, Brian Urlahcer, Jim Finks (executive).

The election of Covert now gives them 5 from their 1985-86 "Super Bowl Shuffle" team, as opposed to 4 from their 1963 NFL Champions, and 7 from their 1940s "Monsters of the Midway" team -- 8 if you count Nagurski's 1943 comeback.

Willie Galimore and Gary Fencik should be in. Thomas Jones is now eligible, and while he didn't spend 4 seasons with any team, his 3 years with the Bears were his most productive period, so I'd list him with them if he got in, and with over 10,000 career rushing yards, he should be in.

2. Green Bay Packers, 28: Earl "Curly" Lambeau (founder, owner, executive, head coach, player), Cal Hubbard, John "Johnny Blood" McNally, Mike Michalske, Arnie Herber, Clarke Hinkle, Don Hutson, Tony Canadeo, Bobby Dillon, Jim Ringo, Bart Starr, Forrest Gregg, Paul Hornung, Jim Taylor, Jerry Kramer, Ray Nitschke, Henry Jordan, Willie Davis, Willie Wood, Herb Adderley, Dave Robinson, James Lofton, Jan Stenerud, Reggie White, Brett Favre, Vince Lombardi (coach & executive), Ron Wolf (executive), Ray Scott (broadcaster, later the main voice on CBS' NFL telecasts).

Nearly half of the Packer figures enshrined in Canton, 13, are from the Lombardi Era, including Lombardi himself. This doesn't count Emlen Tunnell, who played the last 3 seasons of his career with the Packers and retired after the 1st title of the Lombardi Era, 1961.

Now eligible from the Mike Holmgren era, and they would join White and Favre, are Holmgren himself, LeRoy Butler, Adam Timmerman and Gilbert Brown. Eugene Robinson could be considered, but he was only a Packer for 2 seasons, although both ended in Super Bowls, but only 1 won. Sean Jones played 3 seasons for the Packers, and would qualify as a Raider and an Oiler if he got in. Donald Driver is the only figure from the Mike McCarthy era yet eligible and worthy of consideration.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers, 27: Walt Kiesling (also coach), John "Johnny Blood" McNally, Bill Dudley, Ernie Stautner, Jack Butler, John Henry Johnson, Bobby Layne, Joe Greene, Terry Bradshaw, Franco Harris, Mike Webster, Jack Lambert, Jack Ham, Lynn Swann, John Stallworth, Mel Blount, Donnie Shell, Rod Woodson, Dermontti Dawson, Jerome Bettis, Troy Polamalu, Art Rooney (founder-owner), Dan Rooney (owner), Bert Bell (coach, later NFL Commissioner), Chuck Noll (coach), Bill Cowher (coach), Myron Cope (broadcaster). 

While the Steelers were rarely competitive for their 1st 40 seasons, they did have a few players who were Hall-worthy, but note that 14 of the 27, more than half, were involved with the club during their 1972-79 "Steel Curtain" dynasty. Hines Ward is now eligible, and while that touchdown he scored on a kickoff return for the Gotham Rogues as the field collapsed behind him in The Dark Knight Rises does nothing to help his candidacy, if he does get in, you know that highlight will be played over and over again.

4. New York Giants, 22: Steve Owen (elected as a coach, also a pretty good player for Giants), Ray Flaherty, Benny Friedman, Red Badgro, Mel Hein, Ken Strong, Alphonse "Tuffy" Leemans, Emlen Tunnell, Arnie Weinmeister, Frank Gifford, Roosevelt Brown, Sam Huff, Andy Robustelli, Y.A. Tittle, Fran Tarkenton, Harry Carson, Lawrence Taylor, Michael Strahan, Tim Mara (founder & owner), Wellington Mara (owner), Bill Parcells (coach), George Young (executive).

Gifford has also been elected as a broadcaster. So has Pat Summerall, but as a CBS & Fox broadcaster, not as a Giants player or broadcaster, so he can't be included here. Tom Landry was the 1st great defensive back to be only a defensive back, after the early 1950s shift to two-platoon football, and was the defensive coordinator on the Giants' 1956-63 contenders. But was elected to the Hall based on his service as a head coach, and he only served as such for the Cowboys, and thus can't be counted here.

There are 6 from the 1956 NFL Champions, but only 3 from Parcells' Super Bowl-winning teams, 5 if you count Parcells himself and the newly-elected Young. Phil Simms has not yet been elected, and you can also make a case for Mark Bavaro (tight ends are in short supply in the Hall), George Martin and Leonard Marshall. I wonder if anyone will be willing to vote for Tiki Barber, who is now eligible.

5. Washington Redskins, 22: Cliff Battles, Turk Edwards (also coach), Wayne Millner, Sammy Baugh, Bobby Mitchell, Sonny Jurgensen, Charley Taylor, Sam Huff, Paul Krause, Chris Hanburger, Ken Houston, John Riggins, Art Monk, Russ Grimm, Darrell Green, Bruce Smith (last 4 years of his career as a Redskin), Champ Bailey, George Preston Marshall (founder & owner), Ray Flaherty (elected as a Giants player but coached 'Skins to 2 NFL titles so I'm counting him as one of theirs), George Allen (coach), Joe Gibbs (coach), Bobby Beathard (executive).

Jurgensen and Huff have also been broadcasters for the team. Grimm is the only one of the "Hogs" yet elected, but Jeff Bostic and Joe Jacoby should also be elected. A case can be made for an earlier Redskin lineman, Len Hauss.

None of the men who have thus far quarterbacked the Redskins into a Super Bowl is in: Not Billy Kilmer, not Joe Theismann, not Doug Williams, not Mark Rypien -- and good cases can be made for all but Rypien, who just didn't play long enough. If Jan Stenerud got elected as a kicker (who didn't also play another position, as did Lou Groza and George Blanda), then why not Mark Moseley?

6. Dallas Cowboys, 20: Bob Lilly, Mel Renfro, Bob Hayes, Rayfield Wright, Mike Ditka, Roger Staubach, Cliff Harris, Randy White, Tony Dorsett, Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin, Deion Sanders, Larry Allen, Charles Haley, Tom Landry (coach), Jimmy Johnson (coach), Bill Parcells (coach), Tex Schramm (executive), Jerry Jones (owner).

Parcells did coach them for 4 seasons, so that counts. Ditka is so identified with the Bears (with whom he practically invented the position of tight end and won an NFL Championship in 1963) that people forget he was a Cowboy, and won a Super Bowl each as a player and as one of Landry's assistant coaches -- as did Dan Reeves, although if he ever got elected it would be as a head coach, and therefore not as a Cowboy.

Don Meredith was elected as a broadcaster, but was never a broadcaster specifically for the Cowboys. A case can be made that he deserves election as a player. Drew Pearson, Charlie Waters and Herschel Walker also have their advocates.

Oakland Raiders, 19: Jim Otto, Fred Biletnikoff, George Blanda, Ken Stabler, Gene Upshaw, Willie Brown, Art Shell, Dave Casper, Ray Guy, Ted Hendricks, Mike Haynes, Howie Long, Marcus Allen, Jerry Rice, Warren Sapp, Tim Brown, John Madden (coach), Al Davis (owner-coach), Ron Wolf (scout).

Madden has also been elected as a broadcaster. Rice and Sapp were both there for 4 seasons, so they count. Now that Guy is in, who's the most obvious Raider not in? I'd say Jack Tatum, if anybody's got the guts to elect a great cornerback who needlessly paralyzed a man in a preseason game. Also worthy of consideration are Ben Davidson and Lester Hayes.

Note that I'm making an exception to my one-city-only rule for the California-era Raiders, treating them as a continuous Oakland franchise, since they did return, even though their Los Angeles edition became a cultural icon (and not for good reasons). Counted separately, the Oakland Raiders have 16, and the Los Angeles Raiders have 3 (Haynes, Long, Allen). I have now relegated this team to former team status, and the Las Vegas Raiders' Hall-of-Famers will drop to zero for many years to come.

7. Kansas City Chiefs, 18: Bobby Bell, Len Dawson, Willie Lanier, Buck Buchanan, Emmitt Thomas, Johnny Robinson, Curley Culp, Jan Stenerud, Derrick Thomas, Marcus Allen, Willie Roaf, Will Shields, Tony Gonzalez, Hank Stram (coach), Mary Levy (coach), Lamar Hunt (founder-owner), Bobby Beathard (executive), Charlie Jones (broadcaster, did Dallas Texans/K.C. Chiefs games before becoming the main voice for NBC's AFL and then AFC broadcasts).

Dawson has also been elected as a broadcaster. 

8. Cleveland Browns, 17: Otto Graham, Marion Motley, Lou Groza, Dante Lavelli, Bill Willis, Mac Speedie, Frank Gatski, Len Ford, Mike McCormack, Jim Brown, Bobby Mitchell, Gene Hickerson, Leroy Kelly, Paul Warfield, Joe DeLamiellure and Ozzie Newsome, Paul Brown (coach-executive).

It says something about this franchise that there have been no players who have played so much as a down for them since 1990 that can be called a Browns' HOFer -- and only DeLamielleure and Newsome have played for them since 1977. Tom Cousineau hasn't made it, and neither has Clay Matthews Jr. (father of the current star Packer linebacker and brother of Oliers/Titans HOFer Bruce Matthews -- Clay Sr. played for the 49ers in the 1950s, but wasn't HOF quality).

And yet, look at just what they produced in the 1940s and '50s. And that doesn't include players they let get away, like Doug Atkins, Henry Jordan, Willie Davis, Len Dawson, and (while they did both play long enough for the Browns to be counted with them) Mitchell and Warfield.

Maybe that's the real reason Art Modell isn't in the Hall: It's not that he moved the original Browns, and screwed the people of Northern Ohio, it's that he was a bad owner. (Though, to be fair, his firing of Paul Brown and installation of Blanton Collier in 1962 did bring the 1964 NFL Championship, Cleveland's last title in any sport until the 2016 Cavaliers.)

9. San Francisco 49ers, 17: Bob St. Clair, Y.A. Tittle, Joe "the Jet" Perry, Leo Nomellini, Hugh McElhenny, John Henry Johnson, Dave Wilcox, Jimmy Johnson, Joe Montana, Fred Dean, Ronnie Lott, Jerry Rice, Steve Young, Charles Haley, Terrell Owens, Bill Walsh (coach), Eddie DeBartolo (owner).

Tittle, Perry, McElhenny and John Henry Johnson are the only entire backfield that all played together to all be elected to the Hall, and they were known as the $100,000 Backfield. The Jimmy Johnson listed above was a black cornerback in the 1960s and '70s, and should not be confused with the white coach for the Cowboys -- although this Jimmy Johnson, unlike the coach, was actually born in Dallas.

Rickey Jackson only played 2 seasons for the Niners, but he did win his only ring with them. Deion Sanders played only 1 season for them, but got the same Super Bowl XXIX ring that Jackson did. So, due to insufficient longevity, I can't cont either of them as 49ers HOFers.

From their 1980s champions, Dwight Clark, Roger Craig, Randy Cross, Guy McIntyre, Harris Barton and Ken Norton Jr. have not been elected, but all are worth consideration, and Craig absolutely should be in.

10. Los Angeles Rams, 15: Bob Waterfield, Tom Fears, Elroy "Crazy Legs" Hirsch, Norm Van Brocklin, Les Richter, Deacon Jones, Merlin Olsen, Tom Mack, Jackie Slater, Jack Youngblood, Eric Dickerson, Kevin Greene, George Allen (coach), Dan Reeves (owner, not to be confused with the Denver/Atlanta coach), Dick Enberg (broadcaster).

Joe Stydahar coached the Rams to their only NFL Championship in Los Angeles, 1951, but he was elected as a player, not a coach, and so che an't be counted as a Rams' Hall-of-Famer. Counting their St. Louis years, the Rams franchise has 19. Now that Greene is in, Henry Ellard is the most deserving former L.A. Ram not yet in the Hall, but he's a borderline case at best.

11. Detroit Lions, 15: Dutch Clark (also coach), Jack Christiansen, Bobby Layne, Doak Walker, Yale Lary, Alex Wojciechowicz, Lou Creekmur, Dick Stanfel, Dick "Night Train" Lane, Joe Schmidt (also coach), Alex Karras, Lem Barney, Dick LeBeau, Charlie Sanders and Barry Sanders (no relation to each other).

Although he played for their 1935 NFL Champions and coached them to the 1952 and '53 titles, Buddy Parker is not in the Hall. It took until this year, a little over 7 years after he died, for Karras to be elected. If Paul Hornung, a man whose morals were a lot looser than Karras', could be forgiven for his gambling charge that led to his suspension for the 1963 season and get elected, why not Karras, who was suspended at the same time for the same offense? Even though he's in now, the question still hangs there.

It says something about this franchise that there has been only 1 player (Barry Sanders) who has played so much as a down for them since 1977 that can be called a Lions' HOFer, although cases can be made for Herman Moore, Lomas Brown and Chris Spielman.

12. Minnesota Vikings, 15: Fran Tarkenton, Carl Eller, Alan Page, Paul Krause, Ron Yary, Mick Tinglehoff, Chris Doleman, Gary Zimmerman, Randall McDaniel, Cris Carter, John Randle, Randy Moss, Steve Hutchinson, Bud Grant (coach), Jim Finks (executive). Warren Moon was only there for 3 seasons. 

13. Philadelphia Eagles, 14: Steve Van Buren, Alex Wojciechowicz, Pete Pihos, Chuck Bednarik, Sonny Jurgensen, Tommy McDonald, Norm Van Brocklin, Bob Brown, Jim Ringo, Harold Carmichael, Reggie White, Brian Dawkins, Greasy Neale (coach), Bert Bell (founder-owner-coach, later NFL Commissioner).

Van Brocklin only played 3 seasons for the Eagles, but he was the quarterback on their last NFL Championship team before the Super Bowl era, 1960, and then he retired, despite being only 34 years old, so I'm bending the rule to count him. On the other hand, Claude Humphrey played 3 seasons for them, 1 being their 1st trip to the Super Bowl, but unlike Van Brocklin is not an Eagles icon, so I can only include him with the Falcons. This means that Carmichael is the 1st Eagle Hall-of-Famer from the Dick Vermeil era. Vermeil himself is not in, and should be.

Art Monk, James Lofton and Richard Dent briefly played for the team, and cases could be made for Stan Walters, Jerry Sisemore, Bill Bergey, Randall Cunningham, Clyde Simmons, Seth Joyner and Donovan McNabb. Ron Jaworski, however, only stands to be elected as a media personality, not a player. That is how Irv Cross was elected: While he made 2 Pro Bowls as an Eagle cornerback, he is not in the Hall as a player.

14. Miami Dolphins, 12: Larry Csonka, Nick Buoniconti, Bob Griese, Jim Langer, Larry Little, Paul Warfield, Dan Marino, Dwight Stephenson, Jason Taylor, Don Shula (coach), Jimmy Johnson (coach), Bobby Beathard (executive).

Johnson didn't win as Dolphins' head coach, but he was there for 4 seasons, so he counts there. In spite of everything that happened in his career, Ricky Williams rushed for over 10,000 yards. He is now eligible, but I doubt he'll ever get in. If he does, he would qualify only as a Dolphin, not as a Saint.

15. Buffalo Bills, 12: Billy Shaw, O.J. Simpson (had to list him), Joe DeLamiellure, James Lofton, Jim Kelly, Bruce Smith, Thurman Thomas, Andre Reed, Marv Levy (coach), Ralph Wilson (owner), Bill Polian (executive) and Van Miller (broadcaster).

Shaw played his entire career in the AFL, making him the only man in the Pro Football Hall of Fame who never played a down in the NFL. (Remember, it's not the National Football League Hall of Fame, it's the Pro Football Hall of Fame.) So much fuss was made over the special-teams skills of Steve Tasker that I'm surprised that he's not in.

Houston Oilers, 11: George Blanda, Elvin Bethea, Curley Culp, Robert Brazile, Earl Campbell, Dave Casper, Ken Houston, Charlie Joiner, Warren Moon, Mike Munchak, Bruce Matthews. Since Matthews counts as both an Oiler and a Titan, if we combine the Houston years and the Tennessee years, their total rises to 12.

Chicago Cardinals, 10: Jimmy Conzelman, Paddy Driscoll, Guy Chamberlin, Duke Slater, Ernie Nevers, Walt Kiesling, Charley Trippi, Ollie Matson, Dick "Night Train" Lane, Charles Bidwill (owner). Conzelman, Driscoll and Kiesling were also head coaches for the Cards. Counting all their cities, despite having been around for nearly a century, the Cards have only 14 Hall-of-Famers.

Baltimore Colts, 10: Art Donovan, Raymond Berry, Gino Marchetti, Johnny Unitas, Lenny Moore, Jim Parker, John Mackey, Ted Hendricks, Weeb Ewbank (coach), Don Shula (coach). Counting their Indianapolis years, the Colts have 14.

San Diego Chargers, 10: Ron Mix, Lance Alworth, Fred Dean, Dan Fouts, Charlie Joiner, Kellen Winslow, Junior Seau, LaDainian Tomlinson, Sid Gillman (coach), Bobby Beathard (executive).

16. New England Patriots, 10: Nick Buoniconti, John Hannah, Mike Haynes, Andre Tippett, Curtis Martin, Ty Law, Junior Seau, Randy Moss, Bill Parcells (coach) and Don Criqui (broadcaster). This counts players from their AFL days, when they were officially named the Boston Patriots.

Cases could also be made for Jim Nance, Jim Hunt, Steve Nelson, Julius Adams, Irving Fryar, Drew Bledsoe and Tedy Bruschi, all eligible.

17. Denver Broncos, 9: Willie Brown, Floyd Little, John Elway, Steve Atwater, Shannon Sharpe, Gary Zimmerman, Terrell Davis, Champ Bailey, Pat Bowlen (owner). 3-time AFC Champion coach Dan Reeves has not been elected, but should be. So should Randy Gradishar and Mark Schlereth, although, because of how many feathers he ruffled, I don't think you'll ever see Bill Romanowski get in. Peyton Manning becomes eligible in 2021.

18. New York Jets, 9: Don Maynard, Winston Hill, Joe Namath, John Riggins, Curtis Martin, Kevin Mawae, Weeb Ewbank (coach), Bill Parcells (coach-executive), Ron Wolf (executive).

Of the 9, 4 are from the Super Bowl III team. Although the Big Tuna only coached the Jets for 3 seasons, he was an executive with them for 4 seasons, and thus meets my qualification for a Jet HOFer. Wesley Walker, Joe Klecko and Marty Lyons should be considered, although nobody seems to be willing to vote for Mark Gastineau. Vinny Testaverde is eligible, but not yet in. (He would also qualify as a Buccaneer.)

19. Seattle Seahawks, 6: Steve Largent, Kenny Easley, Cortez Kennedy, Walter Jones, Kevin Mawae, Steve Hutchinson. Rickey Watters is eligible, and while he only played 3 seasons each with the 49ers and Eagles, he played 4 with the 'Hawks, so if he goes in, he would qualify only for them.

Canton Bulldogs, 6: Jim Thorpe, Guy Chamberlin, Joe Guyon, Pete Henry, William "Link" Lyman, Earl "Greasy" Neale.

20. Indianapolis Colts, 6: Eric Dickerson, Marshall Faulk, Marvin Harrison, Edgerrin James, Tony Dungy (coach), Bill Polian (executive). Reggie Wayne is now eligible. Peyton Manning becomes eligible in 2021.

St. Louis Rams, 5: Orlando Pace, Kurt Warner, Marshall Faulk, Isaac Bruce, Aeneas Williams. Dick Vermeil and Torry Holt are eligible. Note that the St. Louis edition of the Rams is now italicized as a former team. Unlike the Raiders, it doesn't really make sense to fold the St. Louis era in with Los Angeles.

21. Baltimore Ravens, 5: Jonathan Ogden, Ray Lewis, Rod Woodson, Ed Reed, Ozzie Newsome (executive). Newsome was elected as a Cleveland Browns player, but has been a masterful executive for the franchise since the move, so I'm bending the rules to include him as a Brown and a Raven. Jamal Lewis is eligible, but isn't yet in.

22. Atlanta Falcons, 5: Deion Sanders, Claude Humphrey, Morten Andersen, Tony Gonzalez, Bobby Beathard (executive). I wonder if anyone will vote for Michael Vick when he becomes eligible in 2022. Andre Rison, another controversial figure, is already eligible, and, while he played for 7 different teams (plus 1 in the CFL), on this list, he would qualify only for the Falcons.)

23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 5: Lee Roy Selmon, Warren Sapp, Derrick Brooks, Tony Dungy (coach), Ron Wolf (executive). John Lynch is now eligible, and should be in, and would also qualify as a Bronco. Warrick Dunn is now eligible, and should be in, and would also qualify as a Falcon.

24. New Orleans Saints, 4: Rickey Jackson, Willie Roaf, Morten Andersen, Jim Finks (executive). Mike Ditka was Saints coach for 3 seasons and Tom Fears for 4, but neither was elected as a coach, so they can't be included here anyway. Same for Hank Stram, who was elected as a coach, but only coached the Saints for 2 seasons.

St. Louis Cardinals, 4: Larry Wilson, Dan Dierdorf, Jackie Smith, Roger Wehrli. Dierdorf has also been elected as a broadcaster, although not specifically with the Cardinals. Ottis Anderson should be elected as a Cardinal, although he achieved his greatest moment as a Giant.

Duluth Eskimos, 3: Walt Kiesling, John "Johnny Blood" McNally, Ernie Nevers.

25. Cincinnati Bengals, 3: Charlie Joiner, Anthony Munoz, Paul Brown (founder-owner-coach). Reggie Williams and Corey Dillon should be in, but Boomer Esiason is a borderline case. Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson hasn't played in an NFL game since 2011, but played in the Canadian Football League as recently as 2015, so I don't know what the ruling is on when his eligibility begins. Whenever it does, he's both a borderline Hall of Fame case and a borderline mental case.

26. Tennessee Titans, 2: Bruce Matthews, Kevin Mawae. Matthews only played 3 years as a "Tennessee Titan," but counting 2 years as a "Tennessee Oiler," he qualifies for the Titans. Eddie George is eligible, and should be in.

27. Arizona Cardinals, 2: Aeneas Williams, Kurt Warner. Emmitt Smith wasn't with them long enough. Nor was Edgerrin James.

Frankford Yellow Jackets, 2: Guy Chamberlin, William "Link" Lyman. The 1926 NFL Champions should also have Russell "Bull" Behman and Henry "Two-Bits" Homan -- the former a big guy by the standards of the time, and the latter a little guy who was the NFL's answer to Wee Willie Keeler -- in the Hall.  But both died in the early 1950s, so neither was able to speak on his own behalf since the 1962 founding of NFL Films. Although the Eagles replaced the Jackets as Philadelphia's NFL team, the two teams are not the same franchise.

Providence Steam Roller, 2: Jimmy Conzelman (player & coach), Frederick "Fritz" Pollard.

Brooklyn Dodgers (NFL 1930-1948), 2: Clarence “Ace” Parker, Frank "Bruiser" Kinard.

28. Carolina Panthers, 1: Bill Polian (executive). Mike McCormack was an executive with them, but that's as close any other Panthers figure comes. Reggie White, who played for them in 2000 and died in 2004, is their only former player thus far inducted. Perhaps the late Sam Mills might end up being their 1st elected HOF player, or maybe Steve Smith. Kevin Greene only played 3 seasons for them, so he doesn't count. Cam Newton, of course, is still active.

29. Las Vegas Raiders, none. Sorry, Mark Davis, but you dropped your team (nearly) to the bottom of this list when you screwed Oakland over, like your daddy did before you.

30. Los Angeles Chargers, none. Sorry, Dean Spanos, but you dropped your team (nearly) to the bottom of this list when you screwed San Diego over.

31. Houston Texans, none. Not surprising, as they are the newest franchise -- if not, as you saw above, "the newest team." It's not yet clear who their 1st HOFer would be, although the recently-retired Andre Johnson made 7 Pro Bowls, and the still-active J.J. Watt has made 5. Ed Reed.

32. Jacksonville Jaguars, none: Not surprising, as they've only been around since 1995, and, while they've made 3 AFC Championship Games, they have yet to reach a Super Bowl. I had previously listed Tony Boselli. While he is in the College Football Hall of Fame, he has not yet been elected to the Pro Football Hall. He is still the likeliest to become their 1st HOFer. Fred Taylor is also a possibility.

Rock Island Independents, 1: Duke Slater.

Top 10 Sports Odd Couples

This is an update, with corrections where necessary, of a piece I first did in 2009, on (perhaps) the 40th Anniversary of the Felix/Oscar co-residency.

"On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife. Deep down, he knew she was right. But he also knew that, one day, he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Oscar Madison. Several years earlier, Madison’s wife had thrown him out, requesting that he never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?"

That was the opening narration in the 1st couple of seasons of the TV version of The Odd Couple, a situation comedy based on Neil Simon’s play. The play debuted on Broadway in 1965, with Art Carney as fussy commercial photographer Felix and Walter Matthau as messy sportswriter Oscar. (Simon said he wrote the Oscar part with Matthau in mind, but Matthau supposedly wanted to play Felix. That wouldn’t have worked.)

In 1968, a film version was made, with Jack Lemmon playing Felix and Matthau again as Oscar. From 1970 to 1975, ABC aired the sitcom, and it has become next to impossible to imagine anyone but Tony Randall as Felix and anyone but Jack Klugman as Oscar – and while Randall went on to Love, Sidney and Klugman to Quincy, M.E., it has become equally difficult to imagine them in any other roles.

I have, however, seen 2 other productions of the stage version of The Odd Couple, one a high school play and one a professional from the "Plays In the Park" series at Roosevelt Park in Edison, New Jersey. Both were really good, especially considering that the high schoolers were playing middle-aged men. I really believed these 16, 17-year-old guys were Felix, Oscar, Murray, Speed and the others. (I also saw the "Plays In the Park" guys do a pretty good version of Grease.)

Now, the year that Gloria Unger asked Felix to hit the bricks has never been specified. But since the sitcom began in 1970, it could have been 1969.

Having gotten the DVDs, and seeing some of these episodes for the first time ever, and others for the first time in many years, I've noticed a lot of continuity errors.

For one thing, an episode was filmed showing the breakup of Oscar and his wife, Blanche, played by Klugman's real-life wife, Brett Somers. It was a New Year's Eve party at the apartment we know as belonging to Oscar, and she caught him with another woman -- but, to borrow the cliché, it really wasn't "what this looks like." Blanche didn't "throw him out, requesting that he never return": She walked out on him.

Also, there were 3 separate episodes that explained how Felix and Oscar met: One while they were on jury duty, one when they were in the Army in World War II, and one when they were children.  The names of Felix's children also differed.

It's also worth noting that the TV show exists in a different "universe" from the play and movie. In the latter, Felix's name is spelled "Ungar," and he's a writer for a local TV station's news broadcasts.  Also, in that version, Oscar has kids. Both formats would do reunion movies, with both having the plot of Felix's daughter getting married: In the movie version, Oscar moved to Florida, they hadn't seen each other for 17 years, and they were reunited when Felix's daughter is marrying Oscar's son.

In the TV version, which came 5 years earlier (1993-1998), both men still live in New York, they're still friends, and Felix is still, for the 2nd time, married to Gloria. Their daughter Edna is getting married, but not to Oscar's son, as TV Oscar had no children.

But Felix does too much in trying to plan the wedding, so Gloria yet again kicks him out, just until the wedding is over. Different actors, including Dick Van Patten, play the old poker buddies Murray, Roy and Speed, and Gloria is now played by Barbara Barrie.

Oscar, as Jack Klugman then was in real life, is recovering from throat cancer surgery, having had a vocal chord removed, reducing his voice to a rasp. The two old chums help each other through their respective difficult times, but not without reintroducing their old difficulties.

Most TV shows set in real cities use fake addresses, to keep tourists from gawking at the buildings so that the real-life residents can be left alone. However, the Couple's apartment was established as being on Park Avenue, and the number 1049 can easily be seen on the awning. 1049 Park Avenue is a real address, and except for a different awning, the building looks pretty much the same as it did when the show debuted on September 24, 1970, over 43 years ago.

And while the show did a lot of location shots, including in front of that building (including 3 different angles of the scene of the taxi pulling up behind an orange Volkswagen), it was filmed at Paramount Studios in Hollywood.

Top 10 Odd Couples In Sports

These are all people in sports who, at least for a time, plied their trade together, but seemed opposites, and often feuded. In some cases they eventually made up, in some they did not.

In each case, the "Felix" analogue is listed first, the "Oscar" equivalent second.

10. Al Kaline and Denny McLain, Detroit Tigers, 1965 to 1970. Kaline has been Detroit's most popular living sports figure for over 50 years – more even than Gordie Howe and Steve Yzerman. For 5 years, McLain was a talented pitcher who tried to get away with a lot – but not everything they said he tried to get away with in Year 6.

Without McLain's remarkable 31-6 season in 1968, Kaline would have retired without appearing in a World Series. But McLain alienated so many of his teammates with his annus horribilis of 1970 that few had anything good to say about him when he was gone.

And even in 2007, when the twice-imprisoned McLain published his memoir I Told You I Wasn’t Perfect, he still took shots at Tiger teammates like Kaline, Bill Freehan and Mickey Lolich. Tug McGraw may have thrown the pitch and used it as the title of his first autobiography, but if there was ever a pitcher in baseball who was a true screwball, it was Denny McLain.

9. Terrell Owens and Donovan McNabb, Philadelphia Eagles, 2004-05. McNabb is no slob, but in being willing to do whatever it takes, including risking injury, he is the Oscar here. T.O. is the Felix because he's so whiny and needy and has to have everything done his way. They were only together for 2 seasons, and with injuries to both it added up to maybe one season's worth of games. But if you're an Eagles fan, it probably felt like longer. A lot longer

T.O. last appeared in an NFL game with the Cincinnati Bengals in 2010, and was cut by the Seattle Seahawks last year, but has not officially announced his retirement. McNabb has, having last appeared with the Minnesota Vikings in 2011, and a few weeks ago the Eagles retired his Number 5 and inducted into their Hall of Fame.

McNabb will be eligible for the Pro Football Hall of Fame in the election to be held in January 2017, and he will almost certainly get in, although perhaps not the first time. T.O. had over 1,000 catches and nearly 16,000 receiving yards, 2nd all-time behind Jerry Rice, and is the only player to have scored a touchdown against all 32 teams currently in the NFL. He will be eligible a year before McNabb, but he generated a lot of bad blood. I'll bet you any money you like that, in order to avoid an awkward situation, they don't get elected the same year.

8. Julius Erving and Moses Malone, Philadelphia 76ers, 1982-86. Doctor J was the most stylish player in NBA history – on the court, anyway. (Off the court, even the Doctor couldn’t touch Walt Frazier.) By comparison, Big Mo was, to use a hockey term, a grinder. He wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty, which is not the same thing as playing dirty. (He was a 1980s Sixer, not a 1970s or '80s Flyer.) The 76ers reached the NBA Finals with Julius in 1977, 1980 and 1982, and the Conference Finals in 1981, but they couldn’t get over the hump.

Philadelphia fans have often mocked the pretty boys of sports, long-haired quarterbacks, the mulleted hockey snipers, the bee-ballers who were more flash than dash. Dr. J was a rare exception, because they say that he worked hard to make those beautiful moves. But the Sixers needed that blood-sweat-and-tears type to get them to the title. Andrew Toney was one, Bobby Jones was another, but Moses Malone was a special player.

Few players have ever had the kind of season he had in 1982-83. Dr. J got his ring, but I hope he at least took Moses out for a nice dinner at Le Bec Fin afterwards.

7. Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, Chicago Bulls, 1987-98. I'm not sure I have to explain this one. I suppose I could list Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal. Kobe would definitely be the "Felix."

6. Punch Imlach and Frank Mahovlich, Toronto Maple Leafs, 1958-68. Punch (real name George) was the coach and general manager of the Leafs team that won 4 Stanley Cups in 7 years from 1962 to 1967. Mahovlich, a.k.a. the Big M, was his best player.

In the NHL's official 75th Anniversary book, hockey historian Charles Wilkins wrote, "It has been postulated (by, among others, Frank himself) that Punch drove Frank nuts. It has also been postulated that Punch was one of the few people who understood Frank. It stands to reason that one extraterrestrial – one, albeit, from the opposite end of the galaxy – should understand another." For the record, Imlach was Toronto born and raised, while Mahovlich is from Timmins, Ontario.

But Wilkins wasn't kidding about Punch driving Frank nuts: Twice, Frank was admitted to Toronto General Hospital for "chronic fatigue" -- in those days, a clinical diagnosis of depression was still a stigma. But, much like Yankee Fans with Frank's contemporary Mickey Mantle, the Leaf fans went from booing him to cheering him upon his return, because now, he was the underdog.

Eventually, Punch had enough of him, and, in the process of dismantling the dynasty, traded Frank to the Detroit Red Wings. It didn't work out for Frank there, and they traded him to the Montreal Canadiens, where he was reunited with his brother Peter, and together they won 2 Stanley Cups.

Frank later served with the Senators in Ottawa – but not the hockey team. He was appointed a member of the Canadian Senate. (Their government is a bit different from ours.) He is now retired from politics, and if he isn't the greatest player in the Leafs' 96-year history, he's certainly the most popular living one. Punch died in 1987.

5. Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson, Dallas Cowboys, 1989-94. True, Jimmy is quite fussy about his hair, but that's about it. And Felix would probably have found Jerry to be an incredibly crass, classless individual. Well, let me put it this way: "New York class" and "Dallas class" are two very different things. Jerry is definitely the "Felix" here.

4. George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin, off and on from 1975 to 1988. This might have been Number 1 if it could ever have lasted. Phil Pepe of the New York Daily News has compared it to Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton: When they were together, they couldn't stand one another; when they were apart, they missed each other terribly. Liz and Dick married and divorced twice, while the Boss and the Brat split up five times.

But they will be forever linked. Without George, Billy would never have managed the Yankees; without Billy, George might never have won a World Series. Actually, you could throw in Reggie Jackson and make this an Odd Trio, although there wasn't a comparable character in The Odd Couple to Mister October.

3. Vince Lombardi and Paul Hornung, Green Bay Packers, 1959-67. Hornung was one of the greatest all-around football players who ever lived. Just ask him. Lombardi never bragged about his achievements, though they were legion. His greatest achievement may have been reining in his natural conservatism (personal conservatism, that is -- like most Catholics of his generation, Lombardi was very much a Democrat) and getting along with Hornung, and getting him to make the most of his talent for the sake of his team.

2. Christy Mathewson and John McGraw, New York Giants, 1902-16. It doesn't seem right to list the player first and the manager second, but, in this case, the player was the Felix and the manager was the Oscar.

This was the total opposite of the Lombardi-Hornung relationship. McGraw was the short, nasty, profane, hot-tempered bastard, and a devout Catholic in spite of this, a combination which makes him sound a lot like Lombardi. But Lombardi would never have cheated to win. McGraw, as a player, was proud of the corners he cut. (iterally: If he was on 1st base, and he thought the umpire wasn't looking, he'd run right to 3rd base without going for 2nd. He got away with it a few times in those days of just 1 umpire.

By contrast, Mathewson was tall, handsome, and a superb all-around athlete like Hornung (his alma mater, Bucknell University, named its football stadium after him), but would have been totally out of place in a red-light district, never needed a curfew, and the only time he ever gambled was on checkers. (But he was a hustler at that game, and very good at it.)

McGraw used to say, "The main thing is to win," while Lombardi said, "Winning isn,t everything, but it's the only thing." Still, I think Lombardi would have appreciated Mathewson more than he would have McGraw. Hornung? He definitely would have liked McGraw better.

1. Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees, 2004-present. Okay, maybe A-Rod isn't a slob, but his personal life, his contract issues and his on-field performance have often been quite messy.

But, as with the TV show – which ended in 1975 with Gloria taking Felix back and Oscar getting the 1049 Park Avenue apartment all to himself again – things have worked out: Derek and Alex have won a World Series together, and have been publicly supportive of each other since.

My Most Hated Opponents -- Non-Players Edition

A few weeks ago, I listed "My Most Hated Opponents -- Players." I said I would do it for non-players, and finally I have.

I have 2 eligibility rules: I will only consider post-high school figures, and only individuals who've been actively involved for at least 5 full seasons since I began watching sports on TV in 1977.

The no-high-school rule lets out Bob DeMarco, the head football coach at Old Bridge High School, arch-rivals of my Alma Mater, East Brunswick. Besides, DeMarco is a decent guy, and I find it easy to believe it was his players, not him, who chose to run up the score in certain meetings back when the school was still known as Madison Central. And his brother, former E.B. wrestling coach Greg DeMarco, is one of the most decent people ever involved in high school sports in Middlesex County, New Jersey.

I don't have a problem with Bob. It's his team I hate. I'm not sure I can even adapt, as British soccer fans have, the Monkees' song "Daydream Believer" to fit him: It doesn't feel right to sing, "Cheer up, Bobby D! Oh, what can it mean to a... sad purple bastard and a... shit football team!" He may wear purple and black, but he's not sad and he's not a bastard. As for his team, well, I've seen them win championships, but they'll always be shit to me.

The longevity rule lets out Walter O'Malley, the greatest villain in the history of baseball, because by the time I was old enough to start watching, the man who owned the Dodgers, in Brooklyn and then in Los Angeles, in part since 1942 and fully since 1950, was already a dying man, and his son Peter was pretty much running the team. Walter Francis O'Malley died in 1979, and would top the list if I were just a few years older. He gets a Lifetime Bereavement Award.

However, unlike with my Most Hated Opponents – Players edition, collegiate coaches are allowed. I couldn't make this list without one in particular.

10. Bobby Valentine, New York Mets. The only man ever to manage The Other Team to back-to-back postseason appearances, and along with Davey Johnson (whom we’ll see later) one of only two to manage them to more than one at all. He was funny sometimes, but he was such an arrogant little bastard. When did he earn that arrogance?

Still, Bobby V never really hurt the Yankees, so he's at the bottom of this list.

UPDATE: Bobby V went on to manage the Boston Red Sox in 2012, which might have lifted him higher on this list, if that season hadn't been such a train wreck for the Sox, and so much fun for Yankee Fans to watch. And Terry Collins managed the Mets to back-to-back postseason appearances in 2015 and '16.

9. Earl Weaver, Baltimore Orioles. A genius, but also a raging egomaniac and a very nasty little man. Much like the Yankees' own Billy Martin, except fat rather than scrawny.

I'll never forget him conveeeeniently forgetting to put the tarp down at Memorial Stadium in that game in '78, when the Yanks were desperately trying to claw back into the race. And the '79 team that outdistanced the Yankees – took me 20 years to realize that Ken Singleton was a good guy.

But he didn't hurt the Yanks that much while I was old enough to watch. If I'd been around for his entire managerial run, 1968 to 1982 and again briefly in '85 and '86, maybe he'd be higher on this list.

8. Bobby Cox, Toronto Blue Jays and Atlanta Braves. Despite the Yanks winning 8 straight World Series games against him in 1996 and '99, this is really more for what he did as Jays manager, particularly in that 1985 AL East duel. I was 15, and I don't think I've yet gotten over losing that race.

Still, it was sickening to see those unworthy Braves win the NL East year after year after year… Beats having the Mets do it, though, and hating Cox is one of the few people both Yankee Fans and the Flushing Heathen can agree on. That and his "Rain Man" pitching coach Leo Mazzone. Yeah. Yeah.

7. Bob Clarke, Philadelphia Flyers. There had to be at least one hockey opponent here, but what Ranger? Mike Keenan may have coached them for their only Stanley Cup win since FDR's 2nd term, but it was only for that 1 season. It's hard to bring up any feelings toward then-GM Neil Smith. Glen Sather? Nah, it's not like he was Jaromir Jagr, or Sean Avery, or his bald pal from Edmonton and The Garden, Mark Messier.

But Clarke, while undeniably a great and courageous player, was also first the leader of the Broad Street Bullies, the Flyers who beat up everybody including the early Devils; and then the GM of the Flyer teams that gave the Devils such fits from 1995 to 2004.

And, as Flyer fans will tell you, it was easy to root for "Bobby" Clarke the player, who is up there in the Philly pantheon with Connie Mack, Richie Ashburn, Mike Schmidt, Chuck Bednarik, Wilt Chamberlain, Julius "Dr. J" Erving, Tom Gola and Rollie Massimino; but it's a lot harder to root for "Bob" Clarke the GM, who made the Flyer roster respectable again, but made the Flyer front office unworthy of respect.

Granted, the Lindros family – Eric, Carl and Bonnie – weren't angels, but Clarke could have handled it much better. You didn't have to like Lindros to dislike Clarke. But I can't have him all that high on this list, simply because his greatest era of potential harm came before I was old enough to really understand hockey.

6. Dual entry: Jim Calhoun and Geno Auriemma, University of Connecticut basketball. Their successes cannot be denied, but neither can their arrogances. They do like to rub it into the faces of their opponents, especially Geno to his 2 main rivals, Pat Summitt at the University of Tennessee and Vivian Stringer at Rutgers. The fact that both Calhoun and Auriemma are also big-time Red Sox fans is enough to induce vomiting.

Calhoun

Some people think of UConn as a New York-area school because Connecticut is part of the New York Tri-State Area. But it's also part of New England, and the Huskies' Gampel Pavilion is 86 miles from Boston's Downtown Crossing as opposed to 139 miles from New York's Times Square.

Auriemma

5. Jimmy Johnson and…

4. Tom Landry, Dallas Cowboys. They both had to be on here. At least Johnson wasn't a hypocrite: He knew he and his team were a bunch of, to put it charitably, rogues. Landry was a sanctimonious hypocrite who looked the other way as his crew claimed to be "America's Team," all the while looking more like "South America's Team" (because of certain players' copious consumption of drugs) or "America's Most Wanted" (other crimes), which got worse in the Johnson era.

This is why Landry is higher on the list: Because he gave off an aura of knowing better, but chose to look the other way for his criminals. Why separate entries for them, while I combined the UConn coaches into one? Because the UConn coaches coached (and still do) at the same time, while these Cowboy coaches were in 2 different eras.

3. Pat Riley, New York Knicks. Yes, he won 4 titles with the Los Angeles Lakers and 1 with the Miami Heat. But I liked him with the Lakers because, like most people with taste, I hated the Boston Celtics. And I excused him with the Heat, because I was a Nets fan, and he wasn't really the Nets' problem.

But as coach of the Knicks, he A, got in the Nets' way when they put up their best team between the 1976 ABA crown and the 2002 Eastern Conference Title; and B. practically ruined the NBA with his thuggish defenses, turning a game of 110-100 scores into a game of 84-78 scores. Fans want scoring. You think we give a damn that Chamberlain holds the record of 55 rebounds in a game? No, we talk about him scoring 100 points.

The player who symbolized Lakers-era Pat Riley was Magic Johnson.

The player who symbolized Lakers-era Pat Riley was John Starks.

The difference is the difference between 1980s and 1990s NBA.

It's one of the great ironies of sports that Riles won titles with the '80s Lakers, the ultimate fast-break team, the team known as "Showtime"; then, when Patrick Ewing could have been his Kareem, Charles Oakley could have been his James Worthy, and while he didn't have a Magic Johnson type (how many of those have there been? Very few), he could still have played fun basketball. Instead, he brought the mid-1980s Big East (all those cheap shots from John Thompson's Georgetown and Louie "the Sweater" Carnescca's St. John's) to the NBA Atlantic Division.

I wonder if it dawned on him that he didn't win another World Championship until he had another Kareem (Shaq) and another player who almost resembled Magic in style (Dwyane Wade)?

2. Davey Johnson, New York Mets and Baltimore Orioles. Although he's managed other teams, this is for his management of the Mets at their 1984-90 peak, when they were the most arrogant team in the history of New York baseball. Even John McGraw's old New York Giants, they of "the look of eagles," were modest compared to these bastards.

But if Davey was any damn good at managing, how come they only won the 1 World Series – and only the 1 Pennant? And only reached the Playoffs 1 other time?

Then, of course, there was Davey's O's, who tried a different drug from the one that the '80s Mets seemed to enjoy: Steroids. And yet, he had an unholy hissyfit when Derek Jeter hit that home run in Game 1 of the 1996 ALCS. As if it was Jeter's intention to "cheat." Davey, you insufferable snot, you lost all 3 games at Camden Yards in that series. If you can't defend your home field in the Playoffs, don't whine about some kid in the stands.

In fact, with the '86 and '88 Mets, the '95 Reds, the '96 and '97 O's, here is Davey's record at home in postseason play: 10-13. At home. This is not the mark of a good manager. (UPDATE: After managing the Washington Nationals to the 2012 NL East title, but choking in the NLDS, his home postseason record stands at 11-15.)

Yet he always thought the umps were against him. No, Davey, what was against you was your own ineptitude. The Mets won it all in '86 in spite of you, not because of you. A good manager would've gotten that team at least 1 more Pennant, and possibly as many as 4 more. (Then again, maybe they weren't really that great.)

But, as they say in the Highlander franchise, In the end, there can be only one.

1. Joe Paterno, Pennsylvania State University football. Ol' Ratface spent the better part of 30 years picking on the teams now in the Big East Conference, then went to the Big Ten. Penn State fans whine about how, with undefeated teams in 1969, 1970, 1973 and 1994, the Nittany Lions were not awarded the National Championship.

Admit it: He does look like a rat.

Maybe it's karma for Paterno running up the score on weaker Eastern opponents, thus inflating his team's record. And also for poaching players from other territories. Two of his best players -- Franco Harris of Mount Holly and Rancocas Valley High, and Kenny Jackson of South River -- were among the many he has poached from New Jersey, and whose first choice could have been Rutgers. He's taken New Yorkers away from Syracuse, New Englanders away from Boston College, and Chesapeake Valley players away from Maryland, Virginia, Virginia Tech and West Virginia.

The last time Penn State played Rutgers, at Giants Stadium in 1995, Penn State was leading 52-34, and Paterno had his quarterback pass. With an 18-point lead near the end of the game. Touchdown, 59-34. When it was over, Rutgers coach Doug Graber -- whose job was in jeopardy and was indeed fired after the season, though he has returned to RU as a radio broadcaster -- did not shake Paterno's hand afterward, instead telling him what a classless SOB he is. Well, that may not have been Graber's exact phrase, but it might as well have been.

And this great patriotic conservative Christian known as "Saint Joseph" among his fans, he cursed right back. Later, he apologized to the press for his profanity -- but not for his classless coaching, saying, "I should not have to apologize for (my quarterback) doing what he has been coached to do." (I won't name that quarterback here: He's a henchman, not the villain.)

Now that Rutgers is a consistent winner, that cowardly old bastard won't play us. Come on, Ratface, you deserve one last lesson in manners before you head off to that great press box in the... core of the Earth.

Among Rutgers' football opponents, there is no Number 2. Princeton? The last time Princeton football mattered at what we would now call the Division I-A level, I wasn't born yet, and besides, how can I hate Princeton? They have done nothing to upset me.

Syracuse? Nah, aside from their ugly uniforms, and that horrid carpet that passes for a field at the Carrier Dome, there's nothing truly offensive about them. Pitt? Well, Jackie Sherrill… Nah, he didn't piss me off enough. UConn? In football? Forget it. Probably the closest is Bobby Petrino from his Louisville days, but that was a brief interlude, much like the Mets-Braves "rivalry."

Paterno is eternal. An eternal evil. When he finally dies, the Shittany Lions will probably mummify him and turn the Beaver Stadium press box into their own version of Lenin's Tomb. They already call the stadium "Saint Joe Paterno Cathedral."

For longevity, for amount of defeats, for size of defeats, for style of defeats, for arrogance, and, yes, for ugliness (he really does look like a rat), Joe Paterno tops the list.

Congratulations, Penn State: You are Number 1. You dirty bastards.

UPDATE: You'll notice I wrote this 2 years before the scandal that brought him down, and probably ended his life months or years before it otherwise would have ended.