Thursday, April 25, 2019

How Long It's Been: Arsenal Won the Premier League

April 25, 2004, 15 years ago: Never did a tie feel more like a win.

Or, to put it another way: If, as the saying from American football goes, "A tie is like kissing your sister," then this was like doing the deed with your sister's really hot best friend.

On a Sunday afternoon, Chelsea's defeat in the early game meant that Arsenal need only a draw to clinch the Premier League title at White Hart Lane, home of their North London arch-rivals, Tottenham Hotspur, with 4 League games to spare. They jump at the chance, with team captain Patrick Vieira (in only the 3rd minute of the game) and Robert Pires (in the 35th) each scoring a beauty.

But Jamie Redknapp -- whose father Harry would later cause Arsenal some trouble as a manager, including for Tottenham -- hits a screamer of his own. In stoppage time, there is a dive in the box, and referee Mark Halsey stupidly (or corruptly?) awards a penalty. Robbie Keane takes it, and it's 2-2.

Before the game, Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger had told his players that, if they get the point they need, they should not celebrate on the pitch, but rather wait until they were in the dressing room. But, as Thierry Henry later said, after the equalizer, the Spurs fans "celebrated like they won the World Cup Final." (As a part of the France team that did just that in 1998, he would know.)

Play resumes, and when Halsey almost immediately blows his whistle, the Gunners basically say, "Fuck it, we're the Champions," and party along with the Arsenal fans who'd made the 4 1/2-mile trip up the Seven Sisters Road to celebrate. The song, dating back to the 1971 title clincher in the old Football League Division One, goes up:

We won the League (We won the League)
at White Hart Lane! (at White Hart Lane!)
We won the League at White Hart Lane!
We won the League at the Shithole!
We won the League at White Hart Lane!

(Sometimes it's "Shite Hart Lane!")

Arsenal had already crashed out of the FA Cup in the Semifinal against Man United and the Champions League in the Quarterfinal against Chelsea. But they would finish the season unbeaten in League play, something that hadn't been done since the 1st League season, 1888-89 -- 115 years. And when Preston North End did that, it was a 22-game season. This was 38. Or, as Jon Champion, broadcasting the finale, said at the time, "They were, quite literally, unbeatable: Played 38, won 26, drawn 12, lost exactly none!"

So not only had Arsenal now won the League at White Hart Lane as many times as Tottenham had won it there -- as many times as Tottenham had won it anywhere (2, in 1951 and 1961, whereas Arsenal had done it in 1971 and 2004) -- but they'd come up with an unmatched achievement in English football. Tottenham have never done it. Nor have Liverpool, nor Man United, nor Chelsea, nor any other club, since the (much shorter) 1888-89 season and Preston North End. Just The Arsenal.

They would run their streak of unbeaten matches in the League to an all-time record 49, before a Wayne Rooney dive would give Man United a dubious penalty and a dubious win at Old Trafford the following October 24.

Arsenal have not won the Premier League since. They've won the FA Cup in 2005, 2014, 2015 and 2017. They've reached the Final of the League Cup in 2007 and 2018, and of the UEFA Champions League in 2006. They finished 2nd in the Premier League in 2016. But never since, 1st.

They've seriously challenged for the League title -- contrary to what a bunch of damn fools will tell you -- in 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2014 and 2016. But they haven't won it.

Those same damn fools will tell you that not winning the League is "failure." Did I mention they were damn fools?

Since then, the League title has been won by Chelsea 5 times (2005, '06, '10, '15 and '17), Manchester United 5 times (2007, '08, '09, '11 and '13), Manchester City 3 times (2012, '14 and '18), and Leicester City once (2016). The 2019 title will be won by either Man City or Liverpool, as they are neck-and-neck at this moment, and no other team is close.

Arsenal have had long droughts before. They first got into the top flight of English soccer, known until 1992 at the Football League Division One, in 1906, but didn't win it until 1931, 25 years; and had a pair of 18-year droughts, 1953 to 1971 and 1971 to 1989. So a 14-year drought isn't as bad as it sounds, especially since, during that 1st drought, there was also a 17-year trophy drought between the 1953 League title and the 1970 Inter-Cities Fairs Cup; and, during the 2nd drought, the only trophies were the 1979 FA Cup and the 1987 League Cup.

But it's been exactly 15 years since Arsenal won the League. How long has that been?

*

Wenger finally left Arsenal after last season. Did he retire or was he fired? That is still debated, as is the question of whether he left at the right time, or should have left sooner, or should have stayed longer. Clearly, looking at how Unai Emery is managing Arsenal this season (including yesterday's debacle away to West Midlands team Wolverhampton Wanderers), a case can be made that Wenger left too soon -- or, at least, that Arsenal hired the wrong man to replace him.

Only 5 players who played so much as 1 game for Arsenal that season are still playing, anywhere in the world: Ashley Cole (Derby County in England's 2nd division), Jose Antonio Reyes (Extramadura in Spain's 2nd division), Gaël Clichy (İstanbul Başakşehir in Turkey's top division), Michal Papadopulos (Piast Gliwice in Poland's top division), and Justin Hoyte (FC Cincinnati in America). Clichy was the last of the Invincibles to leave Arsenal, in 2011.

Several of them have gone into coaching, and some have even managed: Patrick Vieira runs OGC Nice in France, Sol Campbell manages Macclesfield Town in England’s 4th division, and Thierry Henry bombed as manager of AS Monaco.

Several members have gone into soccer media: The aforementioned Henry, Campbell and Kanu, and also Ray Parlour and Martin Keown.

Football (soccer) legends Bill Nicholson, Juan Carlos Muñoz, Bert Williams, Tom Finney, Bert Trautmann, Eddie Turnbull, Laurie Hughes, Nilton Santos, Nat Lofthouse, Alfredo Di Stéfano, Walter Bahr, Ferenc Puskás, Jimmy Hill, Lawrie Reilly, Djalma Santos, Josef Masopust, Raymond Kopa, Cesare Maldini, Bobby Smith, Bobby Robson, Ray Wilson, Johnny Haynes, Jimmy Armfield, Don Howe, Gordon Banks, Gerry Byrne, Brian Labone, Billy McNeill, Giacinto Facchetti, Eusébio, Jeff Astle, Carlos Alberto, Jinky Johnstone, Alan Ball, George Best, Giorgio Chinaglia, Peter Osgood, Johan Cruijff and Sócrates were all still alive at the time. Now, they're all dead. 

Olivier Giroud, Jamie Vardy and Luis Suarez were 17 years old; Dax McCarty and Lionel Messi were 16 (Dax is listed first because he's older); Sergio Agüero, Robert Lewandowski, Diego Costa, and Mesut Özil were 15; Alex Morgan, Gareth Bale and Toni Kroos were 14; Aaron Ramsey, Eden Hazard and Antoine Griezmann were 13; Jack Wilshere and Neymar were 12; Mario Götze and Paul Pogba were 11; Harry Kane was 10 Dele Alli was 8; Christian Pulisic and Gianluigi Donnaruma were 5; Reiss Nelson was 4; and Emile Smith Rowe was 3.

Unai Emery of Arsenal was playing for Lorca Deportiva in Spain, Domènec Torrent of New York City FC was managing Girona in Spain, and Chris Armas of the Red Bulls was playing for the Chicago Fire.

Barry Trotz of the Islanders was head coach of the Nashville Predators, Pat Shurmur of the Giants was an assistant coach with the Philadelphia Eagles, Adam Gase of the Jets was an assistant coach with the Detroit Lions, David Fizdale of the Knicks was an assistant coach with the Golden State Warriors, and David Quinn of the Rangers and John Hynes of the Devils were both coaching with the U.S. national hockey team.

Mickey Callaway of the Mets was playing for the Texas Rangers, Aaron Boone of the Yankees was under contract to the Yankees but missed the entire season due to injury, Katie Smith of the Liberty was playing for the Minnesota Lynx, and Kenny Atkinson of the Nets was playing in the French basketball league.

Arsenal dethroned Manchester United as Premier League Champions, but Man U would dethrone Arsenal as FA Cup winners. FC Porto won the UEFA Champions League, beginning the rise of Jose Mourinho. This was not a good thing.

The defending Champions of North American sports were the Florida Marlins, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Los Angeles Lakers, the Detroit Red Wings, and the Los Angeles Galaxy. The Heavyweight Champion of the World? It was John Ruiz according to the WBA, Chris Byrd according to the IBF, and, the day before, Vitali Klitschko had won the WBC version.

The Olympic Games have since been held in Greece, Italy, China, Canada, Britain, Russia, Brazil and Korea. The World Cup has since been held in Germany, South Africa, Brazil and Russia.

The idea that corporations were "people," and entitled to the rights thereof, was considered ridiculous. But then, so was the idea that two people of the same gender could marry each other. Massachusetts became the 1st State to legalize same-sex marriage later in that year.

The President of the United States was George W. Bush, running for re-election. Bill Clinton, George H.W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford, and, for a few more weeks, Ronald Reagan were still alive. So were their wives, and the widow of Lyndon Johnson.

The Governor of the State of New York was George Pataki. The Mayor of the City of New York was Michael Bloomberg. The Governor of the State of New Jersey was Jim McGreevey.

There were still living veterans of World War I, the Mexican Revolution, the Bolshevik Revolution, and the Irish War of Independence. There were still survivors of the Galveston Hurricane of 1900, the General Slocum Fire of 1904, the Great San Francisco Earthquake of 1906, the sinking of the Titanic in 1912, and the Italian Hall Disaster of 1913.

The monarch of Great Britain was Queen Elizabeth II -- that hasn't changed -- and the Prime Minister was Tony Blair. The Mayor of London was Ken Livingstone. The Prime Minister of Canada was Paul Martin. The Pope was John Paul II. The current Pope, Francis, was Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, and an archbishop in his native Argentina. The holder of the Nobel Peace Prize was Iranian women's and children's advocate Shirin Ibadi. There have since been 3 Presidents of the United States, 4 Prime Ministers of Britain, and 3 Popes.

Major novels of 2004 included Layer Cake by J.J. Connolly, and Boy A by Jonathan Trigell, both of which have been made into major films; and Philip Roth's The Plot Against America, an alternate history showing how fascism could have come to America in the 1940 election. Stephen King published the last 2 books in his 7-book Dark Tower saga. J.K. Rowling published Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the 6th book in that story. George R.R. Martin published A Feast for Crows, the 4th book in his A Song of Ice and Fire series that inspired the TV show Game of Thrones.

Major films in the Spring of 2004 included Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill: Vol. 2, Shrek 2, Jersey Girl, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 13 Going on 30, Man On Fire, Mean Girls, The Day After Tomorrow, the Trojan War film Troy; remakes of The Alamo, The Stepford Wives, Dawn of the Dead and Walking Tall; a film version of the comic books Hellboy, The Punisher and Van Helsing, a film version of the 1970s cop show Starsky & Hutch, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (the 4th film in the series), and the documentary Super Size Me.

Star Trek was wrapping up the 3rd season of Enterprise. George Lucas was putting the finishing touches on Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, and we all thought that "the saga" was complete. Steven Spielberg was about to release his remake of War of the Worlds. As the actor playing Tarantino in an episode of Epic Rap Battles of History put it, "Due to War of the Worlds, a failure is what I label you. It looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do."

Daniel Craig was about to be introduced as a new James Bond, one that was absolutely not the same man of the 1962 to 2002 films. Brandon Routh was about to be introduced as Superman, in a film that acted as though Christopher Reeve's Superman III and Superman IV had never happened. Christian Bale was about to be introduced as Batman. Christopher Eccleston was about to be introduced as The Doctor.

TV shows that had recently been introduced included The L Word, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Pimp My Ride, Deadwood, Drake & Josh; and, to the world's great detriment, The Apprentice. The American debut of Peppa Pig, already popular in Britain, was a few weeks away.

No one had yet heard of Lisbeth Salander, Bella Swan, Michael Scott, Don Draper, Katniss Everdeen, Walter White, Jax Teller, Richard Castle, Leslie Knope, Sarah Manning, Jane "Eleven" Hopper or Maggie Bell. And most people hadn't heard of the Kardashians, except for the late Robert Kardashian Sr., and maybe (if they counted him as one) the person then known as Bruce Jenner.

The Number 1 song in America was "Yeah!" by Usher, Lil Jon and Ludacris -- and it was ludicrous that such a piece of crap should be in its 9th of 12 weeks at Number 1. The Number 1 song in Britain, the country in question, was listed as "F**k It (I Don't Want You Back)," by Eamon Doyle -- despite his Irish name, not a native of the British isles, but of Staten Island, New York City. And he only used his first name, Eamon. As you might guess, the song was not a hit in America.

Phish announced their breakup. Fantasia Barrino won Season 3 of American Idol, beating, among others, Jennifer Hudson. Paul McCartney was finishing up his album Chaos and Creation in the Backyard. Bob Dylan was working on his album Modern Times. Michael Jackson was too busy defending himself to work on an album.

Inflation was such that what $1.00 bought then, $1.35 would buy now. Given the country in which this occurred, I should add that what £1.00 bought then, £1.50 would buy now. A U.S. postage stamp cost 37 cents, and a New York Subway ride $2.00. The average price of a gallon of gas was $1.92, a cup of coffee $2.15, a McDonald's meal (Big Mac, fries, shake) $6.50, a movie ticket $6.19, a new car $22,068, and a new house $265,300. The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed the preceding Friday at 10,472.84.

In the Spring of 2004, there were terrorist bombings in Karbala, Iraq and the Spanish capital of Madrid. A ceasefire ended the Darfur War. Israel assassinated Ahmed Yassin, the founder of Hamas. And Pat Tillman, who had quit professional football to enlist in the U.S. Army after the 9/11 attacks, was accidentally killed by "friendly fire" during a mission in Afghanistan.

Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia were admitted to NATO; while the aforementioned Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Slovakia and Slovenia, plus already-NATO members the Czech Republic, Hungary and Poland, and non-NATO members Cyprus and Malta were admitted to the European Union. But as to Cyprus, while the nation's Turks approved a proposal to reunite the island, its Greeks rejected it.

Queen Juliana of the Netherlands, and Tony Randall, and Estee Lauder died. So, within the preceding weeks, had British football legends John Charles and Bob Stokoe. Very few people born at that time have yet become famous, but it's worth noting that hardly anyone had yet heard of Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Drake, Rihanna, Adele, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, Ariana Grande, Halsey, any of the Jonas Brothers, any of the members of One Direction, Henry Cavill, Gal Gadot, Chrissy Teigen, Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, or any of the younger actors from Modern Family, Game of Thrones, or the Star Wars and Harry Potter film series.

April 25, 2004. Arsenal Football Club clinched the Premier League title. They have not done it since.

When will it happen again? If you're expecting it to ever happen under Unai Emery, then you have more faith in his vaunted "system" than I do.

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