The Republican Party Is Now Donald Trump's Personal Slush Fund

Since 2016, I've been saying, "Donald Trump did not take over the Republican Party, he fit right in." Well, he makes a liar out of everyone else, starting with himself. I suppose my time was bound to come.

Effective February 24, after the South Carolina Primary, Mitt Romney's niece, Ronna Romney McDaniel, is out as Chairwoman of the Republican National Committee. Lara Trump, Eric Trump's wife, is in.

This is typical of Dumb Donald's Mob-boss mentality. But it's also loaded with the potential for electoral disaster for the Republicans. Not just because she's totally unqualified for the job, but because of what would happen if she did her job exactly the way her father-in-law wants.

In an interview with right-wing propaganda website Newsmax, Lara said, "Every single penny will go to the number one and the only job of the RNC," namely the election of Donald Trump to another term in the White House.

The only way that happens is if he avoids criminal conviction. The only way that happens is if he can delay his trials until after the election on November 5.

Trump isn't running for President to do what's best for the country. He's running to do what's best for himself: First, stay out of prison; second, to be a dictator.

And, by the way, he doesn't look like Elvis Presley. Even the 1977 version of Elvis was thinner. He was probably sweating less than Trump is now, too. We knew Trump wanted to be America's king, but we didn't know he wanted to be the King of Rock and Roll.

He said he was high-class. Well, that was just a lie. He ain't nothin' but a hound dog, cryin' all the time. Well, he ain't never caught a rabbit, and he ain't no friend of mine.

Anyway, Trump's way has always been to take money meant for things he was promoting, and spend it on himself. He's going to hijack the RNC's funds to pay his legal bills. That's not a crazy prediction, it's what he does. It's a new variation on what he's always done.

"No one tell her the RNC is supposed to be in charge of assisting the entire party at the federal, state and local level. Not just Trump’s personal slush fund," quipped attorney Bradley Moss.

Republican strategist Bobby Trivett, a self-acknowledged supporter of the last remaining other Republican candidate in the race, former Governor Nikki Haley of South Carolina, argued that Lara Trump has "no interest in Republican Victory up and down the ballot, she just wants Trump legal fees paid."

How many Republican candidates for office in 2024 are going to lose their races by 3 percent or less -- races they could win, given the right spending, the right message, and maybe also a lucky break -- because they didn't have the campaign funds they needed, either because they didn't kiss his ass, or his ring, enough?

How many candidates are going to lose based on not having enough money, because he looted the campaign fund to pay his legal bills?

The chickens are coming home to roost, and Trump is Colonel Sanders. And that is the closest he should ever again be allowed to being commander-in-chief.

Actually, if Trump were the Colonel, he'd have given the Russians the recipe, with all 11 herbs and spices.

My Evil Twin

How ya doin'? My name is Bernard. I'm Mike's evil twin. You can tell I'm the evil twin, because I have a goatee.

I do everything the opposite of Mike. I root for the Mets, the Rangers, Penn State and Manchester United. I like disco music. I vote Republican. Because I'm evil! I eat at Chick-fil-A, and I shop at Walmart. Because I'm evil!

I hate dogs. I hate cats. You know what I got for pets? A snake, and a ferret. They're evil, too.

When I watch The Wizard of Oz, I root for the Witch. When I watch Star Wars movies, I root for Darth Vader and the Empire. When I watch West Side Story, I root for Officer Krupke. When I watch a Godfather film, I cheer whenever a member of the Corleone family dies or gets beaten up. Even the innocent women? Especially the innocent women. Because I'm evil!

I love The Office, and my favorite character on M*A*S*H was Frank Burns. I wear an Izod Lacoste sweater and Nike sneakers. Like Mike, I grew up in New Jersey. Unlike him, I moved to Florida. You know, because of the taxes! The only thing I miss about New Jersey is Taylor ham! That's right, I call it Taylor ham, not pork roll! Because I'm evil!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go. Hobby Lobby is having a sale!

*

I first created the character of Bernard, my evil twin, for the parody-song website Amiright.com in 2006, with "My Evil Twin, Naturally." I "killed him off" 2 years later, with "Total Eclipse of Bernard." But I found that sweater in my closet, and I didn't even remember having it. I figured, it must have been one of his, so I brought the character back, just for a day.

Why "Bernard"? I liked the way Dustin Hoffman said the name in his version of Death of a Salesman, broadcast on CBS in 1985. Bernard was the nephew that asked Willy Loman the famous question, "What happened in Boston, Willy?" There was nothing obviously evil about Bernard, and there's never been a man by that name in my family.

Eventually, though, I decided that Senator Bernard "Bernie" Sanders was evil, so, for this brief revival, I'm keeping the name of the character.

Top 5 Reasons You Can’t Blame Richard J. Daley for Richard Nixon Losing the 1960 Presidential Election

November 8, 1960, 60 years ago: Senator John F. Kennedy of Massachusetts is elected the 35th President of the United States. At 43, he is the youngest man ever elected to the office, although Theodore Roosevelt was 42 when he was first sworn in. He is also the 1st Catholic to achieve the office, and remains the only one.

He beats the Republican nominee, incumbent Vice President Richard Nixon. It is incredibly close: JFK wins 49.72 percent of the popular vote, Nixon 49.55, a margin of 118,000 votes. The Electoral Vote goes 303 to 219 for Kennedy (with 15 votes from Southern electors going elsewhere), making it look like it wasn't so close.

Kennedy won Illinois by about 4,500 votes. To this day, Republicans say JFK's friend, Mayor Richard J. Daley of Chicago, "stole" the State's vote for him.

Top 5 Reasons You Can’t Blame Richard J. Daley for Richard Nixon Losing the 1960 Presidential Election

5. The Curse of Herbert Hoover. While Americans still said, "I like Ike," in reference to the outgoing Republican, President Dwight D. Eisenhower, they viewed him as more of a nonpartisan leader. The last truly conservative, truly Republican President had been Hoover, who presided over the Crash of 1929 and the 1st 3 years of the subsequent Great Depression, and was still alive and speaking on behalf of his Party.

Would Nixon have brought another Depression? Probably not, but who knows? When he finally won in 1968, he presided over the mild recession of 1970-71, and the nastier recession of 1973-76 began on his watch. Certainly, imagining him as President during the Cuban Missile Crisis of October 1962 is scary, although that has little to do with conservatism in the economic sense.

4. Richard Nixon. He ran a lousy campaign. With 2 new States making 50, he was determined to campaign in all 50 States. He kept that promise, but as a result, he was exhausted, and even got sick with the flu. When he debated JFK on television, he looked awful. Moreover, he didn't argue his own case well.

During the 1st Presidential Debate, September 26, 1960

3. John F. Kennedy. He ran a great campaign, both face-to-face and on TV. Although Presidents had been appearing on TV since FDR in 1939, and regularly since Harry Truman in 1947, JFK was the 1st candidate for President to really master the still-new medium -- and none would again until Ronald Reagan, 20 years later.

2. Dwight D. Eisenhower. He didn't come out strongly enough for Nixon. Late in the campaign, a reporter asked Ike what policies Nixon's advice had aided, and he said, "If you give me a week, I might think of one."

Ouch. Say what you want about how other Presidents treated their Vice Presidents in private, but none ever undercut them in public this badly.

We've since had 4 Presidents serve a full 2 terms:

* In 1988, Ronald Reagan campaigned with George H.W. Bush, and Bush won.

* In 2000, Al Gore told Bill Clinton to stay away. Had they made one joint appearance together in Florida, it would literally have made all the difference in the world.

* In 2008, John McCain told George W. Bush to stay away. This one time, it may have helped.

* And in 2016, Barack Obama campaigned with Hillary Clinton, and she won the popular vote. Her loss of the Electoral Vote had nothing to do with Obama.

But Illinois... Daley in Cook County...

1. It Didn't Matter. Winning Illinois would've changed the Electoral Vote from 303-219 Kennedy to 276-246 Kennedy, still above the threshold for a majority, which was then 269. Nor would winning Illinois have given Nixon the edge in the popular vote.

In addition, there are stories that the real reason Nixon didn't contest the Illinois vote is that he knew that Southern Illinois had seen vote-tampering in his favor.

Indeed, only 1 State had a vote so close that, as with Florida in 2000, a legally-mandated recount kicked in. It was the newest State, Hawaii. And it did switch... from Nixon to Kennedy.

VERDICT: Not Guilty. Whatever Daley may have done, it didn't change the result of the election. Nixon lost to Kennedy fair and square.