Bob Uecker, 1934-2025

Bob Uecker was living proof that you didn't need to be a great baseball player to be a baseball legend. Sadly, he is living proof no more.

Robert George Uecker was born on January 26, 1934 in Milwaukee. The son of immigrants from the German part of Switzerland, he grew up a fan of the minor-league Milwaukee Brewers. While serving in the U.S. Army, he played on service baseball teams. The Boston Braves had moved to Milwaukee for the 1953 season, and they signed him to a contract.

On April 13, 1962, he became the first Milwaukee native -- indeed, the first Wisconsin native -- to play for the Milwaukee Braves. It was a Friday the 13th, and maybe that was an omen. In the top of the 9th inning, Uecker, wearing Number 8, pinch-hit for pitcher Ron Piché, and grounded out to 2nd base. The Braves lost to the Los Angeles Dodgers, 6-3 at the newly-opened Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles.

Uecker was a catcher, and a decent fielder as one, but not much of a hitter. He would finish his career with a lifetime batting average of exactly .200. He hit 14 home runs, but 1 was off Sandy Koufax of the Dodgers. Just before the 1964 season, the Braves traded him to the St. Louis Cardinals. Now wearing Number 9, he backed up Tim McCarver on the team that won the World Series.

Pictured: A St. Louis Cardinal wearing Number 9

Definitely not Enos Slaughter, Roger Maris,

Joe Torre or Terry Pendleton.

After another year in St. Louis, he was traded to the Philadelphia Phillies. He joked that he got pulled over by a policeman, and was fined $400: "$100 for drunk driving, and $300 for being with the Phillies."

In 1967, they traded him to the Braves, who had moved to Atlanta. He was the only catcher on the roster willing to catch the knuckleball thrown by pitcher Phil Niekro, and so he ended up leading the National League in passed balls. He said, "The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling, and pick it up." (Another 1960s catcher, future manager Jeff Torborg, said, "There are two theories about catching the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them work.")

The Braves released him after the season. It was during the World Series, so nobody noticed. He was only 33 years old. It seemed like an ignominious end to an inconsequential baseball career.

*

A funny thing happened on the way to obscurity. Many funny things. Uecker stayed in Atlanta, and, like many other ex-catchers before and since, became a broadcaster, calling the Braves' games. In 1971, a new version of the Milwaukee Brewers, in the American League, hired him as a broadcaster. He became the most popular figure in the team's history, ahead of even such great players as Robin Yount and Paul Molitor. His home run call was, "Get up! Get up! Get outta here! Gone!"

He kept his self-deprecating humor. He said he'd become a household name, but, "The household was in Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin." (A western suburb of Milwaukee, a short drive from County Stadium.) In the 1970s, ABC hired him for national broadcasts on Monday Night Baseball. In the 1980s, he moved over to NBC for the Saturday Game of the Week. The whole country heard how funny he could be.

This led Milwaukee-based Miller Brewing Company to put him in their famous commercials for Lite Beer. In the best-known one, he thinks he's got great complimentary tickets to a game, but the usher says, "You're in the wrong seat, buddy, come on." And when the ad gets back from the tagline ("Lite Beer from Miller: Everything you've always wanted in a beer, and less"), Uecker is shown way up in the upper deck in right field (or, in a variation, behind a support pole), and says to the few people around him, "Great seats, hey, buddy?" Such seats became known as "Uecker seats."

In 1985, he went back to ABC, and starred in the sitcom Mr. Belvedere, as a Pittsburgh-based sportswriter who often clashed with the titular housekeeper. In 1988, because Cleveland Municipal Stadium, the real-life home of the team then known as the Cleveland Indians, wasn't available as a filming location for the film Major League, County Stadium was chosen instead, and Uecker was cast as broadcaster Harry Doyle. He played the role as more like Chicago Cubs announcer Harry Caray, heavy-drinking and sarcastic, than as his usual affable self.

In 2003, the Baseball Hall of Fame gave him its broadcasting honor, the Ford Frick Award. In spite of a .200 lifetime batting average, and never appearing in more than 80 major league games in a season, Bob Uecker was a Hall-of-Famer. (Actually, the Hall goes out of its way to say that the winners of its media awards, both broadcasting and sportswriting, are not members of the Hall of Fame. But everybody treats them as such.)

He was honored both inside and outside County Stadium's successor, now named American Family Field. In 2005, inside, in honor of his 50th season in professional baseball, the Brewers placed a Number 50 with his name on it up in the outfield with their retired numbers, though uniform number 50 remains in circulation for them. In 2009, inside, he was inducted into the Milwaukee Brewers Wall of Honor. In 2012, a statue of him was dedicated outside.

Uecker was married twice. With his 1st wife, Joyce, he had 4 children. Son Steve, from San Joaquin Valley Fever, and daughter Leeann, from Lou Gehrig's disease, predeceased him. He later married Judy, which ended in divorce.

In 2010, Bob missed some broadcasts due to heart surgery and recovery from it. In 2014, like many veteran broadcasters, he cut back to doing home games only. In 2023, he was diagnosed with cancer, but still broadcast through that season and the 2024 season. He died today, January 16, 2025, at his home in Menomonee Falls. He was a few days short of his 91st birthday. He was survived by his 2nd ex-wife, Judy; a daughter, Sue Ann; and a son, Bob Jr.

With his death, there are 10 surviving players from the 1964 World Champion St. Louis Cardinals: Bob Skinner, Julián Javier, Dal Maxvill, Bill White, Carl Warwick, Gordie Richardson, Ray Washburn, Ron Taylor, Charlie James and Bob Humphreys.

January 12, 2015: The 1st College Football National Championship Playoff

January 12, 2015, 10 years ago: For the 1st time, the College Football National Championship Playoff is concluded, deciding a definitive National Champion.

Under the old system, the Champions of the Big Ten Conference and the league now known as the Pacific-Twelve Conference would have played in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. But now, these are the teams that will play for the National Championship, not in the Rose Bowl game, but in a specifically-designed game.

Nor would it be held in the Rose Bowl stadium. Rather, it was held at AT&T Stadium in the Dallas suburb of Arlington, Texas, home of the Dallas Cowboys, and by this point also the home of the Cotton Bowl Classic, even though the old Cotton Bowl stadium still stood (and still does).

The University of Oregon began the 2014 college football season by clobbering Football Championship Series (FCS, formerly Division I-AA) South Dakota, at home at Autzen Stadium in Eugene, Oregon. But they caught attention the next week by beating then-Number 7 Michigan State, 46-27. They pounded Wyoming, and won a shootout with Washington State. Then, they stumbled, losing 31-24 to Arizona at home.

But they picked themselves up. They did play in the Rose Bowl stadium that season, because that's also UCLA's home field. UCLA were ranked Number 18, but Oregon beat them, 42-30. They beat Washington 45-20, they beat California away 59-41, they beat Stanford 45-16, they beat Number 17 Utah away 51-27, they beat Colorado 44-10, and concluded their regular season by beating their arch-rivals, Oregon State, 47-19 in Corvallis.

That got the Number 2 Ducks into the Pac-12 Championship Game, against Number 8 Arizona. At Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara, home of the San Francisco 49ers, they avenged their only loss, laying a 51-13 licking on the Wildcats.

So Oregon were in the 1st-ever College Football National Championship Playoff. And they were, as it turned out, in the Rose Bowl game, which served as one of the Semifinals. They were the 2nd seed, against Number 2 but 3rd-seeded Florida State. And the Ducks left no doubt as to which of these teams was the better: They beat the Seminoles 59-20. They were in the Final.

This was a team that had games in which they scored 62, 59 twice, 51 twice, 48, 47, 46, 45 twice, 44, 42 and 38. What team could hold this juggernaut back?

The team at the Ohio State University was ready, willing and able to try. They began the season in Baltimore, beating Navy. Then they lost at home at Ohio Stadium, to Virginia Tech, 35-21. That drooped them to Number 22 in the national rankings, and seemed to knock them out of National Championship contention. And home wins over Kent State, the University of Cincinnati and Rutgers, and a win away to Maryland, did little to raise their profile.

Then, in a nationally-televised prime-time game at Beaver Stadium in State College, Pennsylvania, the Buckeyes beat Penn State, 31-24 in 2 overtimes. That inspired them. They were back up to Number 13. They pounded Illinois, 55-14. They went to Michigan State, then ranked Number 7, and beat them, 49-37. Now, they were looking like a title contender again.

They beat Minnesota away, Indiana at home, and won "The Game," beating Michigan, 42-28. That raised them to Number 5, and put them in the Big Ten Championship Game, where they slaughtered Number 11 Wisconsin, 59-0. That put them in the Playoff, as the 4th seed, against 1st seed Alabama. The Semifinal was the Sugar Bowl, at the Superdome in New Orleans, with 2 legendary programs going at it, hammer-and-tongs. And Ohio State emerged victorious, 42-35.

So, while coach Mark Helfrich's Oregon were capable of putting a hellacious number on the scoreboard, so were Urban Meyer's Ohio State: They'd already done 66, 59, 56, 55, 52, 50, 49, and 42 three times. The Final of the 1st NCAA Tournament in basketball, in 1939, featured these same schools, and Oregon won that, 46-33. I don't know if anyone thought it was appropriate that the same schools were playing in this 1st official National Championship Playoff, but it certainly wouldn't have surprised many people if this game were to end with a higher score.

Oregon struck first. Their quarterback, Marcus Mariota, had won the Heisman Trophy. He threw a 7-yard touchdown pass to Keanon Lowe. Ohio State needed to convert a 4th & 3 to keep a drive going, and did. The drive continued, and ended with Ezekiel Elliott running 33 yards for a touchdown. A dumb pass interference penalty by Oregon set the Buckeyes up again, and Cardale Jones threw to Nick Vanett to give them a 14-7 lead at the end of the 1st quarter.

Oregon marched deep into Ohio State territory, but on 4th & goal at the 3, instead of trying a field goal, Helfrich decided to go for 6, and the Ducks were stopped. The Buckeyes took over, and went most of the way down the field, but fumbled at the Oregon 11. The Ducks had to punt on the next possession anyway, and the Buckeyes took advantage, Jones scoring on a quarterback sneak to make it 21-10 Ohio State at the half.

The Buckeyes started the 2nd half by moving into Oregon territory, but Jones threw an interception. On the next play, Mariota threw to Byron Marshall, who took it in 70 yards for a touchdown. The Ducks were back in the ballgame. At 6:39 of the 3rd, Oregon kicked a field goal to make it 21-20.

That was as close as the Ducks would get. Ohio State took the ball back, moved 75 yards, and Elliott ran 9 yards for a touchdown. Early in the 4th quarter, Elliott scored another. With less than 3 minutes to go, he scored a 4th touchdown. Ohio State won, 42-20.

The original system, relying on the bowls, left undefeated teams stuck at Number 2, sometimes even Number 3, claiming to be better than the team that was ranked Number 1 in the final polls. The replacement system, the Bowl Championship Series, was supposed to fix this, but if the Number 3 team looked better than the Number 2, or even the Number 1, and didn't get a chance to prove it, then the system wasn't really better. Now, 4 teams had a chance, and, on this 1st occasion, it was the 4th seed that proved themselves to be the best team in the country.

The Playoff system isn't perfect. As with the BCS and its top 2, there is a chance that 1 of the top 4 teams in the last poll before the Playoff puts in a team that didn't win its Conference, or even its Division.

In 2017, Alabama lost the Southeastern Conference Championship Game to Georgia, but got into the 2018 Playoff, and beat Georgia in the Final. In the 2021 season, this result was reversed: Alabama beat Georgia in the SEC title game, but Georgia got into the Playoff, and beat 'Bama for the National Championship.

So no system is perfect.

January 12, 1975: A Win for Pittsburgh

January 12, 1975, 50 years ago: Western Pennsylvania, and Pittsburgh in particular, has long been known as a source of football talent and football fandom. But up to this day, it had never won a professional football championship.

Art Rooney founded the NFL's Pittsburgh Steelers on May 19, 1933. He and his wife, the former Kathleen "Kass" McNulty, lived in the Troy Hill section of the North Side of Pittsburgh, and raised 5 sons. They were Dan, Art Jr., Tim, Patrick and John. They would have 32 grandchildren and 75 great-grandchildren.

Art Jr. said that Art Sr., known to all of Western Pennsylvania as "The Chief," always told his sons, "Treat everybody the way you'd like to be treated. Give them the benefit of the doubt. But never let anyone mistake kindness for weakness." Or, as Art Jr. put it, "He took the Golden Rule, and put a little bit of the North Side in it."

The Steelers were founded when they were because 1933 was the year the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania finally repealed the "blue law" prohibiting professional sports on Sunday. This also enabled the Philadelphia Eagles to be founded on July 8, 1933.

Both teams struggled for years. Indeed, the manpower drain of World War II led them to merge the teams for the 1943 season, and the team was nicknamed the "Steagles." In 1947, at last, the Steelers finished 1st in the NFL's Eastern Division. Well, in a tie for it. With the Eagles. And the Eagles won a Playoff at Pittsburgh's Forbes Field.

That was the closest the Steelers would get to an NFL Championship Game for another quarter of a century. In 1955, Dan and Art Jr. seemed to be the only people at Steeler training camp to notice a young Pittsburgh native who was trying to make the team as a quarterback. But Art Sr. deferred to his head coach, a run-centric old-schooler named Walt Kiesling.

Kiesling is not well-remembered today. The young quarterback is: He was picked up by the Baltimore Colts, and he made that team, and himself, legend. He was Johnny Unitas.

If Art Sr. had died shortly after the Jets won Super Bowl III on January 12, 1969, it would have been said that the best thing he did for his team was to die, so that his son could run the team. Instead, his sons held what we would now call an "intervention," telling him that they should take over the operations of the team. He agreed -- and lived another 20 years, in which the sons turned the Steelers from a joke franchise into an iconic team of American sports.

Pretty much the first thing that Dan Rooney did was offer the Steelers' head coaching job to the head coach at nearby Penn State, Joe Paterno. Paterno turned him down. So Dan offered it to the defensive coordinator of the team the Jets had just beaten in the Super Bowl, who had been on the staff of the San Diego Chargers team that won the 1963 AFL Championship, and a lineman who had won 2 NFL Championships with the Cleveland Browns: Chuck Noll.

Dan put his brother Art Jr. in charge of the team's drafts. His drafts included:

* 1969: Defensive tackle Joe Greene, offensive tackle Jon Kolb and defensive end L.C. Greenwood.

* 1970: Quarterback Terry Bradshaw and cornerback Mel Blount.

* 1971: Linebacker Jack Ham, guard Gerry Mullins, defensive tackles Dwight White and Ernie Holmes, tight end Larry Brown, and safety Mike Wagner.

* 1972: Running back Franco Harris and defensive tackle Steve Furness.

* And in 1974, in perhaps the greatest single draft in NFL history, he selected receivers Lynn Swann and John Stallworth, linebacker Jack Lambert, and center Mike Webster -- 4 Hall-of-Famers in one draft. And that's not counting safety Donnie Shell, who wasn't drafted in 1974, but was signed anyway, and is in the Hall.

Counting Greene, Bradshaw, Blount, Ham and Harris, that was 10 Hall-of-Famers in 6 drafts. Counting Noll, 11 -- all based on the decisions of Dan Rooney and Art Rooney Jr. To put that in perspective: The team had 5 players from 1933 to 1968 who ended up making the Hall.

It took a while to build a winner, especially because Noll and Bradshaw had a contentious relationship. Moving from 1925-built Pitt Stadium into the new Three Rivers Stadium in 1970 helped. In 1972, the Steelers went 11-3, won the AFC Central Division Championship, and reached the AFC Championship Game, thanks to a pass Bradshaw threw that deflected off Oakland Raider safety Jack Tatum and ended up being caught and taken in for a Divisional Playoff-winning touchdown by Harris, known as "the Immaculate Reception." 

They made the Playoffs again in 1973, going 10-4. But they didn't make the Super Bowl either time. In 1974, they went 10-3-1, and won the AFC Central Division again. In the Divisional Playoff, they beat the Buffalo Bills, 32-14 at Three Rivers. This would be the only Playoff game of O.J. Simpson's career: Although he caught a touchdown pass, he couldn't help the Bills win, and he never got to another.

They had to go to the Oakland Coliseum to win the AFC Championship -- this would be the last season that a rotation chose the site of the Conference Championship games, rather than which team had the better record -- and beat the Raiders, 24-13. They would play Super Bowl IX at Tulane Stadium in New Orleans, site of the annual Sugar Bowl, against the Minnesota Vikings.

Both teams had named defenses. Reminiscent of the Iron Curtain across Europe, the Steelers' front seven was known as the Steel Curtain: Tackles Greene and White, ends Greenwood and Holmes, and linebackers Lambert, Ham and the veteran Andy Russell. The Vikings, due to their jersey color reminding people of Sheb Wooley's novelty song that hit Number 1 in 1958, had a defense known as the Purple People Eaters. So it's not surprising that Super Bowl IX was one of the lowest-scoring championship games in NFL history.

Western Pennsylvania had been hit hard over the last 10 years. The coal and steel industries had severely declined. The industries that would replace them and get Pittsburgh, if not the small towns nearby, back on its feet -- computers and health care -- had not yet arrived. Labor unions were losing power.

"White flight" increased the population of the suburbs, but dropped that of the city itself. The city's population peaked at 676,806 in the 1950 Census, but was down to 520,117 in 1970. This decline continues, having reached 302,971 in 2020. The metropolitan area dropped from 2.8 million in 1960 to 2.3 million in 2010, but has gained a little back since then.

The city's sports teams had always been a rallying point, but were also inconsistent. Like the nursery rhyme about the little girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead, when they were good, they were very, very good; but when they were bad, they were horrid.

The city had a team in the NBA during its inaugural season of 1946-47, the Pittsburgh Ironmen, but they failed after that season. The Pittsburgh Condors won the title in the 1st season of the American Basketball Association, 1967-68. But when their biggest star, Connie Hawkins, had his ban from the NBA (due to an overreaction to his role in a point-shaving scandal) lifted in 1969, he went to the Phoenix Suns, and the Pipers were doomed. A rebranding to the Pittsburgh Condors in 1970 didn't help, and they folded in 1972.

The NHL granted the Steel City an expansion team in 1967, the Pittsburgh Penguins. They made the Playoffs in 1970 and '72, and would again in '75, but, at the time, they were nothing special. By far the most successful team in town was the baseball team, the Pirates. They had won the National League Eastern Division title in 1970, '71, '72, '73 and '74, and would again in '75. But aside from 1971, they couldn't win a Pennant. They won the World Series that year, but the death of Roberto Clemente in a plane crash after the 1972 season cast a pall over them that left them unable to return to the Fall Classic.

But football was the sport in Pittsburgh, and in all of Western Pennsylvania. It was especially known for producing great quarterbacks, such as Unitas (from Bloomfield on the city's East Side), Johnny Lujack (Connellsville, 50 miles southeast of downtown), George Blanda (Youngwood, 36 miles southeast), and Joe Namath (Beaver Falls, 30 miles northwest). Later would come Joe Montana (New Eagle, 23 miles south), Dan Marino (South Oakland, on the East Side) and Jim Kelly (East Brady, 57 miles northeast).

Still, the city was looking for its 1st pro football championship. It hadn't happened in the NFL. And the city didn't have teams in any of the AFLs, or the AAFC. Now, it looked to Coach Noll, the Steel Curtain, and Bradshaw, "the Blond Bomber" from Shreveport, Louisiana, to get that 1st title.

A full house of 80,997 fans filed into Tulane Stadium. Despite the Vikings having been to the Super Bowl the year before (losing to the Miami Dolphins), and 4 years before that (losing to the Kansas City Chiefs), the Steelers were favored by 3 points. The weather was bad: 46 degrees, with the artificial turf field a bit slick due to rain the previous day. (The game was supposed to be played indoors at the Superdome, but construction delays forced that stadium's opening to the following August.)

Talk about low-scoring: Not only did the 1st quarter end 0-0 (the Steelers' Roy Gerela missed 2 field goal attempts, and the Vikings only got 20 total yards), but the only score of the 1st half was the 1st safety in Super Bowl history.

Fred Cox missed a field goal for the Vikings. On their next possession, Viking quarterback Fran Tarkenton pitched the ball behind him to Dave Osborn. That may have been his name, and he may have been in the Super Bowl, but unlike the daredevil character created by comedian Bob Einstein, this Dave Osborn was not super: He never had control of the ball, and Tarkenton, known as a "scrambler," ran to the ball and fell on it. White just had to touch him, and it was 2-0 Steelers.

The Steelers got a drive going in the 3rd quarter, and Franco Harris ran the ball in for a touchdown and a 9-0 Pittsburgh lead. And that would be all the scoring in the game's 1st 45 minutes. The Steelers forced a fumble in the 4th quarter, but had the tables turned when the Vikings blocked one of their punts, and Terry Brown recovered the ball in the end zone. But Cox missed the extra point. With 10:33 to go, the Vikings trailed only 9-6. Through the 2023 season, that remains the closest the Vikings have ever come to becoming World Champions.

So often derided as dumb, Bradshaw proved he was a smart quarterback. He launched an 11-play, 66-yard drive, ending with a 4-yard pass to Brown. The touchdown put the Steelers up 16-6 with 3:31 left. Tarkenton threw a pass that was intercepted by Wagner, and the Steelers ran the clock down as much as they could. With 38 seconds left, there was nothing the Vikings could do.

The Pittsburgh Steelers were World Champions. Harris was named the game's Most Valuable Player. At the time, Noll was the youngest man ever to coach a team to victory in the Super Bowl: He had just turned 42. Pete Rozelle said his happiest moment in his 29 seasons as Commissioner of the NFL was handing the Vince Lombardi Trophy to Art Rooney Sr. -- but it was because of the building done by Dan and Art Jr.

Art Sr. wanted it. The organization as a whole, and even Western Pennsylvania as a whole, needed it. The Steelers would reach 4 Super Bowls (IX, X, XIII and XIV), winning all of them, in a span of 6 years.

All tolled, under Dan Rooney's operation, 48 seasons, they reached the Playoffs 29 times, won 22 Division titles (15 in the old AFC Central, 7 in the AFC North following the 2002 realignment), reached 16 AFC Championship Games, won 8 AFC Championships, and won 6 Super Bowls, the most NFL Championships in the Super Bowl era. He also built Heinz Field (now Acrisure Stadium), the Steelers' new home, for the 2001 season, and it is one of the best stadiums in the NFL.

The Steelers became a cultural phenomenon, with their black and gold uniforms, their helmets with the "Steelmark" logo on only the right side with the left side remaining blank, their multi-ethnic working-class fan base, and their bright yellow Terrible Towels being waved in the stands (first at Three Rivers Stadium, then at Heinz Field).

Much like Liverpool Football Club in England, the Steelers had great success in the 1970s, in a city hit hard by industrial decline, where the "football" team meant everything. As with the 1965 Los Angeles Dodgers and the 1968 Detroit Tigers with their World Series wins following race riots, a community in another kind of trouble rallied around a great team, to lift them up, to show a country that had been looking down on them that they were still entitled to some pride.

The fact that the Steelers stood up, usually successfully, to the Dallas Cowboys and the Oakland Raiders, 2 of the most hated NFL teams nationwide, also helped boost their national image. Along with the Cowboys, the Raiders, the Green Bay Packers (due to their similar cultural stamp in the 1960s) and the Chicago Bears (ditto for the 1980s), the Steelers are one of the few NFL teams to have a nationwide fan base. In New York and New Jersey, 400 miles from Pittsburgh, you can see Steeler bumper stickers and window stickers on cars every day.

Art Rooney Sr. died in 1988, and Dan became majority owner, replacing Noll with Bill Cowher in 1992. By that point, Art Jr. had reduced his involvement in the team. The Steelers won the 1995 AFC Championship, but history was turned on its head, and the Steelers lost Super Bowl XXX to the Cowboys.

In 2003, Dan followed in his father's footsteps, and handed over day-to-day operations to his son, Art Rooney II (grandson of the founder and nephew of Art Jr.). It was Art II who oversaw the building of the teams that won Super Bowls XL and XLIII and lost Super Bowl XLV, and in 2007 replaced the retiring Cowher with his assistant, Mike Tomlin, the team's 1st black head coach. Dan died in 2017.

Top 5 Reasons Why Elvis Might Have Been a MAGA (And 5 Why He Would Have Left)

January 8, 1935, 90 years ago: Elvis Aaron Presley is born in Tupelo, Mississippi, and grows up in Memphis, Tennessee. He became the King of Rock and Roll, and the world was never the same.

Much has done to make him a heroic figure. Much has also been done to make him a figure of ridicule. Much like Donald Trump, whose ego far exceeded Elvis', and who never had any talent besides fraud.

Top 5 Reasons Why Elvis Might Have Been a MAGA (And 5 Why He Would Have Left)

10. Would Have Been: Elvis Supported Richard Nixon. If he supported one criminal Republican President, surely, supporting another wouldn't have been hard.

9. Would Have Left: Elvis Supported Law and Order. The famous meeting between the Memphis Flash and Tricky Dick happened on December 21, 1970, before we knew Nixon was involved in anything critical, much less had totally, as would Trump all those years later, betrayed his commitment to "law and order." Elvis believed in law and justice. That's why he wanted to see Nixon: He wanted to be made a federal agent, even if it only meant getting a symbolic badge.

8. Would Have Been: Show of Strength. Elvis loved comic book heroes and movie heroes. At first, he would have seen Trump as one.

7. Would Have Left: Reality of Weakness. The reality would have sunk in during COVID. Elvis would have seen that Trump was afraid to do what would have helped people, because it would have made him look weak. Elvis would have hated that: He knew that helping people makes you look stronger. He didn't talk about that, he actually did it.

After seeing Trump mishandle COVID, other things might have sunk in, like how submissive Trump acted before the Russians and the Saudis, and how easily Trump was moved by the flattery of North Korea's dictator Kim Jong Un. Elvis would have realized: This guy is not a strong man. He is weak.

6. Would Have Been: Trump's Macho Appeal. It's easy to imagine Elvis voting for Trump because of the image the right wing created of Hillary Clinton: The privilege Yankee outsider who turned a true poor son of the South into the same kind of left-wing extremist that she is. Elvis would have been pleased to see that "real men" were back in charge.

5. Would Have Left: Trump's Bigotry Appeals. Joe Biden said that the spark of his deciding to run for President in 2020 was the far-right demonstration in Charlottesville, Virginia on August 12, 2017. Elvis would have been disgusted by that.

And other things would have sunk in. He would have seen that Mexicans were not the people Trump was describing. He would have seen that immigrants in general were people who tended to believe in America, and, once here, obeyed the law better than did Trump himself. He would have seen that Trump believes that black lives don't matter. That use of the Army to clear the streets so Trump could do that photo-op with an upside-down Bible? That really would have chafed Elvis' chaps.

Elvis had his flaws -- including one he shared with Trump, liking women a little too young for present-day tastes -- but he was no bigot. He might not have been "woke," but he was definitely inclusive.

4. Would Have Been: Trump's Pandering to the Military. Elvis would have dug that.

3. Would Have Left: Trump's Actual Treatment of the Men and Women In Uniform -- and Veterans. Elvis was a veteran, and would not have put up with Trump calling him, or anyone else who served, "losers" and "suckers."

2. Would Have Been: The Words Themselves. Of course, Elvis would have wanted to "make America great again."

1. Would Have Left: The Words Rendered Meaningless. Elvis would have been sickened by the Insurrection of January 6, 2021. If he had still supported Trump up until that moment, that would have ended it. And no price of gas or eggs would have swayed him. (Why would it?) And he certainly wouldn't have been dumb enough to be persuaded by, "They're eating the dogs! They're eating the cats!" That would not have turned him back to Trump.

You see, it's bad enough that Trump did the opposite of what he promised: He made America no longer great, because he rendered America no longer good.

 

But now, he wants to remake America in his image: The image of a bully who does whatever he wants, and gets away with all of it, but is really a coward at heart. And Elvis would not have put up with that.

Elvis was satisfied with being a King in name only. Trump wants to be King of America. And, thanks to a Supreme Court hand-picked by the Heritage Foundation and Mitch McConnell, he essentially is. Even though he is on his knees before Vladimir Putin and Mohammed bin Salman.

In many ways -- beautiful, excessive, and some not so good -- Elvis Presley was about as American as you can get. He wasn't brilliant, but he was smart enough to have eventually seen that Donald Trump is about as un-American as you can get.

January 8, 2000: The Music City Miracle

January 8, 2000, 25 years ago: The Music City Miracle takes place, one of the wildest and most controversial plays in NFL history.

The Houston Oilers moved in 1997, becoming the Tennessee Oilers. After 1 season at the Liberty Bowl in Memphis, they realized they weren't going to draw enough fans as a lame-duck team. All previous pro football teams in Tennessee had been based in Memphis, and, since Memphis and Nashville don't like each other, Nashvillians never really adopted the WFL's Memphis Southmen or the USFL's Memphis Showboats; and Memphis fans, knowing the Oilers would be in Nashville in 1999, rejected them.

So they moved to Nashville a year earlier than they'd intended, even though Vanderbilt Stadium seated only 41,000. After all, they weren't getting that much in Memphis.

In 1999, the Adelphia Coliseum -- now named Nissan Stadium -- opened, across the Cumberland River to the east of downtown Nashville. They changed their name again, to the Tennessee Titans, and adopted a new logo and new colors as well. The people of Nashville really took to them, because, for the first time, they had a true Nashville team to root for.

Winning helped: After going 8-8 in each of their 2 seasons as the Tennessee Oilers, head coach Jeff Fisher led the Titans to a record of 13-3, the best in the franchise's 40-season history. Ordinarily, this would be good enough to win the Division. But the Jacksonville Jaguars went 14-2 to win the AFC Central Division. So the Titans got into the Playoffs as a Wild Card.

But they would get the 1st round of the Playoffs at home. The franchise hadn't made the Playoffs in 6 years, since they were still in the Astrodome.

Their opponents were the Buffalo Bills. Although the Bills had won 4 straight AFC Championships from 1990 to 1993, including beating the Oilers in a Playoff game with the biggest comeback in NFL history, they lost 4 straight Super Bowls. A few players from those teams were still with them as they took the field at Adelphia.

The 1st quarter ended scoreless. Early in the 2nd quarter, Jevon Kearse, known as "The Freak" and winner of the NFL's Defensive Rookie of the Year, sacked Bills quarterback Ron Johnson in the end zone. It was 1 of 6 sacks on the day by the Titans, 1 of 2 by Kearse. Quarterback Steve McNair led the Titans down the field, and scored on a 1-yard run. That made it 9-0 Tennessee.

The next time the Titans had the ball, Al Del Greco attempted a 45-yard field goal, and missed. But the Bills committed a defensive penalty on the play, and Del Greco made the re-kick. The 1st half ended 12-0 in the Titans' favor.

Bills fans need to remember this: For much of the half, their team really wasn't in the game. The Titans held them to 64 yards, and they were penalized for almost as many: 44, after being penalized, how many times, Ed Rooney? "Nine times!"

But on the Bills' 1st play of the 2nd half, Antowain Smith ran for 44 yards. Four plays later, he scored from 4 yards out. On their next drive, Kearse made a big mistake with a roughing-the-passer penalty. This led to Smith scoring another touchdown, early in the 4th quarter, giving the Bills a 13-12 lead. But they couldn't make the 2-point conversion.

Del Greco kicked another field goal to put the Titans ahead 15-13 with 1:48 left in regulation. The Bills drove, and, with 20 seconds left, Steve Christie -- who had kicked the overtime winner in that comeback, 7 years and 5 days earlier -- kicked from 41 yards out, and it was 16-15 Buffalo.

The Bills treated the game as already won. Hall-of-Fame defensive end Bruce Smith was caught on film saying, "We got a win on the road, baby!" But the Bills still had to kick off, and hold the Titans off for another 16 seconds.

Perhaps some Tennessee fans were thinking of the ending of the 1982 California vs. Stanford game, which Cal won with a lateral-filled kickoff return known simply as "The Play." But Titans special teams coordinator Alan Lowry was thinking of a different play from the same year.

He was then an assistant coach with the Dallas Cowboys. Also in Dallas is Southern Methodist University -- both teams used the Cotton Bowl as their main home field from 1960 to 1971 -- and SMU used a trick play on a kickoff return to beat Texas Tech. Lowry made the Titans practice the play, which he called "Home Run Throwback," mixing his sports metaphors. They even used it once in the regular season, scoring a touchdown against the Atlanta Falcons.

Christie tried a "pooch kick," to make it harder to run the ball back. Lorenzo Neal picked the ball up. Right behind him was Frank Wycheck, and Neal handed him the ball. This was key: The Bills saw this, and keyed on Wycheck.

Wycheck then threw the ball across the field, to Kevin Dyson. Except for Christie, every Bills player was fooled. Dyson ran down the sideline 75 yards, and had every other Titan available to block every Bill player coming over, and scored a touchdown.

Titans broadcaster Mike Keith had the call:

Do the Titans have a miracle left in them, in what has been a magical season to this point? If they do, they need it now. Christie kicks it high and short. Gonna be fielded by Lorenzo Neal at the 25, pitches it back to Wycheck, he throws it across the field to Dyson, 30, 40, 50, 40, 30, 20, 10, 5, end zone! Touchdown, Titans! There are no flags on the field! It's a miracle! Tennessee has pulled a miracle! A miracle for the Titans!

On TV for ABC, Mike Patrick had a similar call: "Dyson's going to go all the way! And there is no flag!"

Why would there be a penalty flag? Because it looked to many people like Wycheck had thrown a forward pass on a kickoff, which is illegal. The referee agreed to review the play.

The referee was Phil Luckett. Twice, in the previous season, he had been involved in controversy. On Thanksgiving, he had flipped the coin for overtime, and heard the Pittsburgh Steelers' Jerome Bettis call "Heads" then change his mind to "Tails," and went with the initial call of "Heads." The coin landed tails, the Detroit Lions got the ball, and they kicked a field goal to win without the Steelers even getting the ball. The Steelers missed the Playoffs due in part to losing that game.

A few weeks later, Vinny Testaverde fell a foot short of the goal line on a 4th down play, but the ball was ruled to have crossed the plane of the goal line, giving the New York Jets a win they didn't really deserve against the Seattle Seahawks. Luckett wasn't the official who made the call, and it wasn't reviewable under the rules of that season; but as head official for the game, he got blamed. So, for the 1999 season, the NFL team owners voted to bring instant replay back, and this was the biggest reviewed play since that decision.

The rule for instant replay is that, in order for the call on the field to be overturned, it must be conclusively shown to have been wrong. The replay didn't conclusively show that Wycheck's throw was a forward pass. I've seen it many times, and have never had any doubt that it was a lateral, slightly (maybe a foot or two) backward. No one reviewing the play thought the throw was the slightest bit forward. The touchdown was allowed to stand.

There were still 3 seconds left on the clock when Dyson crossed the goal line. So this crazy game wasn't over yet. But the Bills didn't have a "miracle" of their own, and the Titans won, 22-16.

During the off-season, the NFL office hired a computer analyst to check the play. Once again, it was affirmed that the Wycheck throw was a lateral. After 25 years, Bills fans still disagree.

But, through 2 different broadcasters' use of the word "miracle," the play and the game have become known as the Music City Miracle.

The Titans went on to beat the Indianapolis Colts and the Jaguars, to win the franchise's 1st AFC Championship. As the Oilers, they had won the AFL Championship in 1960 and 1961, but had lost the AFL Championship Game in 1962 and 1967, and had lost the AFC Championship Game in 1978 and 1979. So this would be the franchise's 1st trip to the Super Bowl.

The Titans lost Super Bowl XXXIV to the St. Louis Rams, 24-17. On the game's final play, Dyson, who had scored the touchdown on the Music City Miracle, was tackled by Mike Jones, 1 yard short of a touchdown that, with an extra point, would have sent the game to overtime -- or, with a 2-point conversion, would have won Tennessee the World Championship.

The Titans made the Playoffs in 5 of the next 9 years, and lost another AFC Championship Game in 2002. Then they went into a down period. But they have rebuilt. They reached the AFC Championship Game again in 2019, made the Playoffs again in 2020. The Bills missed the Playoffs for the next 17 seasons in a row. But they, too, have built a contender, and reached the AFC Championship Game in 2020. 

Both teams were eliminated from the 2021-22 Playoffs in the Divisional round. The Titans then dropped off, but the Bills have stayed strong.

Frank Wycheck died on December 9, 2023, at the age of 52. He thought he had CTE, and he may have been right, because he died from falling and hitting his head.

The day after, the Bills got hit with a similar play against the Kansas City Chiefs, but it was nullified for offside. Like the Music City Miracle, the officials got the call correct. And the Bills won the game.

NFL Division Titles, 1920-2024

Includes titles won in the 1920-32 single-division era, and titles won in the AAFC and the AFL. Does not include NFC or AFC Championships won as a Wild Card. Ties broken by most recent.

1. Green Bay Packers, 29: 1929, 1930 and 1931 in the single-division NFL; 1936, 1938, 1939, 1944, 1960, 1961, 1962, 1965 and 1966 in the NFL Western; 1967 in the NFL Central; 1972, 1995, 1996 and 1997 in the NFC Central; the rest in the NFC North: 2002, 2003, 2004, 2007, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2016, 2019, 2020 and 2021.

2. Dallas Cowboys, 25: 1967, 1968 and 1969 in the NFL Capitol, the rest in the NFC East: 1970, 1971, 1973, 1976, 1977, 1978, 1979, 1981, 1985, 1992, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1998, 2007, 2009, 2014, 2016, 2018, 2021 and 2023.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers, 24: 1972, 1974, 1975, 1976, 1977, 1978, 1979, 1983, 1984, 1992, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997 and 2001 in the AFC Central; the rest in the AFC North: 2002, 2004, 2007, 2008, 2010, 2014, 2016, 2017 and 2020.

4. Chicago Bears, 23: 1921 and 1932 in the single-division NFL; 1933, 1934, 1937, 1940, 1941, 1942, 1943, 1946, 1956 and 1963 in the NFL Western; 1984, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1990 and 2001 in the NFC Central; the rest in the NFC North: 2005, 2006, 2010 and 2018.

5. New York Giants, 23: 1927 in the single-division NFL; 1933, 1934, 1935, 1938, 1939, 1941, 1944, 1946, 1956, 1958, 1959, 1961, 1962 and 1963 in the NFL Eastern; the rest in the NFC East: 1986, 1989, 1990, 1997, 2000, 2005, 2008 and 2011.

6. San Francisco 49ers, 22, all in the NFC West: 1970, 1971, 1972, 1981, 1983, 1984, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1992, 1993,1 994, 1995, 1997, 2002, 2011, 2012, 2019, 2022 and 2023.

7. New England Patriots, 22: 1963 in the AFL East, the rest in the AFC East: 1978, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2001, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019.

8. Minnesota Vikings, 21: 1968 and 1969 in the NFL Central; 1970, 1971, 1973, 1974, 1975, 1976, 1977, 1978, 1980, 1989, 1992, 1994, 1998 and 2000 in the NFC Central; the rest in the NFC North, 2008, 2009, 2015, 2017 and 2021.

9. Kansas City Chiefs, 17: 1962 and 1966 in the AFL Western, the rest in the AFC West: 1971, 1993, 1995, 1997, 2003, 2010, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023 and 2024.

10. Philadelphia Eagles, 17: 1947, 1948, 1949 and 1960 in the NFL East; the rest in the NFC East: 1980, 1988, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2006, 2010, 2013, 2017, 2019, 2022 and 2024.

11. Buffalo Bills, 15: 1964, 1965 and 1966 in the AFL East, the rest in the AFC East: 1980, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1993, 1995, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024.

12. Los Angeles Rams, 15: 1949 in the NFL Western, 1967 and 1969 in the NFL Coastal, the rest in the NFC West: 1973, 1974, 1975, 1976, 1977, 1978, 1979, 1985, 2017, 2018, 2021 and 2024. As the Cleveland Rams, the won the NFL Western in 1945. As the St. Louis Rams, they won the NFC West in 1999, 2001 and 2003. This would give them 18.

13. Denver Broncos, 15, all in the AFC West: 1977, 1978, 1984, 1986, 1987, 1989, 1991, 1996, 1998, 2005, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015.

14. Washington Commanders, 14: 1937, 1940, 1942, 1943 and 1945 in the NFL Eastern, the rest in the NFC East: 1972, 1983, 1984, 1987, 1991, 1999, 2012, 2015 and 2020. The 2020 title was won as the Washington Football Team. All others were won as the Washington Redskins. In 1936, they won an NFL Eastern Division title as the Boston Redskins.

15. Miami Dolphins, 13, all in the AFC East: 1971, 1972, 1973, 1974, 1979, 1981, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1992, 1994, 2000 and 2008.

16. Cleveland Browns, 13: 1946, 1947 and 1948 in the AAFC Western; 1949 in the single-division AAFC; 1967, 1968 and 1969 in the NFL Century; 1971, 1980, 1985, 1986, 1987 and 1989 in the AFC Central; none since moving to AFC North.

17. Cincinnati Bengals, 11: In the AFC Central, 1970, 1973, 1981, 1988 and 1990; in the AFC North, 2005, 2009, 2013, 2015, 2021 and 2022.

18. Seattle Seahawks, 11: 1988 and 1999 in the AFC West, the rest in the NFC West: 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2010, 2013, 2014, 2016 and 2020.

19. Indianapolis Colts, 11: 1987 and 1999 in the AFC East, the rest in the AFC South: 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2010, 2013 and 2014. As the Baltimore Colts, they won the NFL Western in 1958, 1959 and 1964; the NFL Coastal in 1968; and the AFC East in 1970, 1975, 1976 and 1977. This would give them 19.

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 10: 1979, 1981 and 1999 in the NFC Central; 2002, 2005, 2007, 2021, 2022, 2023 and 2024 in the NFC South.

21. Detroit Lions, 10: 1935, 1953, 1954 and 1957 in the NFL Western; 1952 in the NFL National; 1983, 1991 and 1993 in the NFC Central; and 2023 and 2024 in the NFC North.

22. New Orleans Saints, 9: 1991 and 2000 in the NFC West, the rest in the NFC South: 2006, 2009, 2011, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020.

23. Houston Texans, 8, all in the AFC South: 2011, 2012, 2015, 2016, 2018, 2019, 2023 and 2024.

24. Baltimore Ravens, 8, all in the AFC North: 2003, 2006, 2011, 2012, 2018, 2019, 2023 and 2024.

25. Atlanta Falcons, 6: 1980 and 1998 in the NFC West, the rest in the NFC South: 2004, 2010, 2012 and 2016.

26. Carolina Panthers, 6: 1996 in the NFC West, the rest in the NFC South: 2003, 2008, 2013, 2014 and 2015.

27. Tennessee Titans, 5: 2000 in the AFC Central; 2002, 2008, 2020 and 2021 in the AFC South. As the Houston Oilers, they won the AFL Eastern in 1960, 1961, 1962 and 1967; and the AFC Central in 1991 and 1993. This would give them 9.

28. Jacksonville Jaguars, 4: 1998 and 1999 in the AFC Central; 2017 and 2022 in the AFC South.

29. New York Jets, 4: 1968 and 1969 in the AFL East; 1998 and 2002 in the AFC East.

30. Arizona Cardinals, 3, all in the NFC West: 2008, 2009 and 2015. As the Chicago Cardinals, they won the NFL Western in 1947 and 1948. As the St. Louis Cardinals, they won the NFC East in 1974 and 1975. That would give them 7.

31. Los Angeles Chargers 1: 1960 in the AFL Western. As the San Diego Chargers, they won the AFL Western in 1961, 1963, 1964 and 1965; and the AFC West in 1979, 1980, 1981, 1992, 1994, 2004, 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009. This would give them 15.

32. Las Vegas Raiders, none. Sorry, but you can't count the Oakland Raiders' titles: 1967, 1968 and 1969 in the AFL Western; or 1970, 1972, 1973, 1974, 1975, 1976, 2000, 2001 and 2002 in the AFC West. Nor can you count the Los Angeles Raiders' titles, all in the AFC West: 1983, 1985 and 1990. If you could, it would give you 15.

January 4, 1995 & 2000: The Jets Get Rich Kotite, Then Don't Get Bill Belichick

January 4 is simply not a good day for Jet fans.

January 4, 1995, 30 years ago: Rich Kotite, in spite of having cost the Philadelphia Eagles a Playoff spot by losing the last 7 games of the previous season, was hired as head coach of the New York Jets.

Kotite was a local guy, from Staten Island, and was a decent tight end for the New York Giants in the early 1970s. But he was already known as a bafflingly dumb coach.

Jets owner Leon Hess had his reason for hiring him: "I'm 80 years old. I want results now!" The assembled media laughed.

Hess got results, all right: 3-13 in 1995, 1-15 in 1996. To put it another way: From November 13, 1994 to December 22, 1996, as an NFL head coach, Rich Kotite was 4-35, for a "winning" percentage of .114. That is slightly better than the worst 39-game stretch any NFL team has ever had: The 2007-09 Detroit Lions were 3-36, .077; slightly better than the worst season in NBA history: The 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers were 9-73, or .110; worse than the worst season in NHL history: The 1974-75 Washington Capitals were 8-67-5, or .131; and worse than the worst season in MLB history: The 1899 Cleveland Spiders were 20-134, or .149.

Two days before the 1996 regular-season finale, with Jet fans from Morristown to Montauk, from Bear Mountain to Cape May, wanting him fired or worse, Kotite resigned. The long metropolitan nightmare was over. For now. Kotite has never been employed, in any capacity, by another NFL team.

Hess begged Bill Parcells to come back to the Meadowlands, and the rebuild began. Parcells, head coach of the New York Giants from 1981 to 1990, and of the New England Patriots from 1993 to 1996, went 9-7 in 1997.

In 1998, he went 12-4, setting a new team record for wins in a season, and achieving the Jets' 1st Division title since the 1970 NFL merger. (They had won the AFL East in 1968 and '69.) They beat the Jacksonville Jaguars in the Divisional Playoff, and led the Denver Broncos at halftime of the AFC Championship Game, in Denver no less, before losing.

Then Hess died, close to the results he wanted. But Jet fans had hope. In the opening game of the 1999 season. quarterback Vinny Testaverde tore his Achilles tendon, and was out for the season. Somehow, Parcells squeezed an 8-8 season out of what was left. But he was 58 and tired, and resigned as head coach, vowing never to hold that job again (he later made a liar of himself), and stayed on as general manager.

Bill Belichick had worked with Parcells, as an assistant coach on the Giants from 1979 to 1982; an assistant to him on the Giants from 1983 to 1990, building the defense that won Super Bowls XXI and XXV; an assistant to him on the Patriots in 1996, winning the AFC Championship but losing Super Bowl XXXI; and an assistant to him on the Jets from 1997 to 1999. Parcells arranged for the team to select Belichick as his successor.

January 4, 2000, 25 years ago: One day after the arrangement is made, the press conference that was supposed to announce it ended with a napkin to owner Woody Johnson, on which Belichick had written, "I RESIGN AS HC OF THE NYJ." Not so abbreviated: Belichick spoke for half an hour, justifying his decision.

Just 16 days later, he was hired as head coach of the Patriots, the Jets' arch-rivals. (No, the Miami Dolphins are not the Jets' arch-rivals. Nor are the Raiders, regardless of what city they're in at any moment.) The Jets, to whom he was still under contract, demanded compensation. The NFL awarded the Jets the Pats' 1st round pick in the next NFL Draft, a pick they ended up trading, anyway.

Linebackers coach Al Groh was hired in Belichick's place. He went 9-7, just missing the Playoffs. Considering all that had happened to the Jets recently, this wasn't bad at all. Then he left as well, taking the head coaching job at his alma mater, the University of Virginia.

In the 1st 22 seasons after Belichick quit on the Jets, 2000 to 2021, the Patriots made the Playoffs 20 times, the Jets 6; the Pats won 31 postseason games, the Jets 6; the Pats reached 13 AFC Championship Games, the Jets 2; the Pats won the AFC Championship and reached the Super Bowl 9 times, the Jets none; and the Pats won 6 Super Bowls, the Jets none.

And there is this very telling stat: The Jets had 6 head coaches in that span, the Patriots 1.

Pictured: One smug, self-satisfied son of a bitch.

The Jets keeping Belichick would almost certainly have meant no dynasty for the Patriots. So, Belichick did the right thing, right?

Not by Jet fans, he didn't. It would have been bad enough had he left them for anyone else, but the Patriots? New England? 

Before 2000, Yankee Fans hated the Boston Red Sox, while Met fans mocked them over the 1986 World Series; Knick fans hated the Boston Celtics, and so did Net fans, to a lesser degree; Ranger fans hated the Boston Bruins, and so did Islander and Devils fans, to a lesser degree.

But Jet fans' hatred for the Patriots was minor, compared to what they felt for the Dolphins and Raiders. As Massachusetts native chef Emeril Lagasse would say, this abandonment kicked it up a notch! And that was before the Pats started winning -- dubiously, as we would later find out.

But can we really blame Belichick for this? Parcells looked like he was working miracles with the Jets, but he didn't get the team to the Super Bowl in his 3 years with them. And that was a good tenure by Jet standards.

The season after Super Bowl III, 1969, Weeb Ewbank got the Jets to the AFL East title again, the last AFL East title before the merger, and the Jets moving into the new AFC East. After that, though, he never had another winning season.

Lou Holtz, already a success at North Carolina State with an ACC title and 2 bowl game wins, was hired for the 1976 season, and he went 3-10 before being fired before the season's last game. To know what Holtz did later at Arkansas, Minnesota, Notre Dame and South Carolina -- 9 Top 10 ranking finishes, including a National Championship; 10 bowl wins, including 2 Oranges, 2 Cottons and a Fiesta -- you might be shocked to know how badly he did with the Jets.

Charley Winner, Walt Michaels, Joe Walton and Bruce Coslet had all been good NFL assistant coaches, but all failed as Jet boss. Maybe that's a little unfair for Michaels: He took a really good Jet defense and a good-but-not great offense to the 1982 AFC Championship Game. In other words, he was as successful as any other post-Weeb Jet coach has been.

The aforementioned Rich Kotite had gotten the Eagles into the Playoffs, and was 36-21 over his 1st 3 1/2 seasons at Veterans Stadium. But I've already told you the rest: He seemed like a good hire at the start of 1995, but by the end of 1996, he had cemented himself as perhaps the worst NFL coach ever. So, 6 seemingly good hires turned sour for the Jets, and, having been around the team, and being a keen student of football history, Belichick surely knew the story.

And that doesn't even count Pete Carroll, who won National Championships at USC and a Super Bowl with the Seattle Seahawks after leaving the Jets, but who had never had a head coaching job before the Jets gave him one.

Also, Belichick's only head coaching job until 2000 had been with the Cleveland Browns from 1991 to 1995, and he got them into the Playoffs just once, in 1994. After that, in just 1 year, he went from 11-5 to 5-11. Maybe he needed Parcells. (Or maybe he needed to cheat.)

There's an old saying: You don't want to be the guy who follows the legend; you want to be the guy who follows that guy. Both Parcells and Belichick first worked for the Giants as assistants to Ray Perkins, who had played for Paul "Bear" Bryant at the University of Alabama. When Bryant retired after the 1982 season, Perkins was hired to replace him. It didn't work out, because everyone demanded that he become Bear II. And he never would.

(Perkins had been a receiver on Alabama's National Champions of 1964 and '65, and was with the Baltimore Colts when they lost Super Bowl III to the Jets, and when they beat the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl V. After 'Bama, he was head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for 4 years and Arkansas State for 1; served as Parcells' offensive coordinator on the Pats; and then served on the Oakland and Cleveland staffs. He died in 2020, having coached at a high school in Mississippi since 2014.)

If Belichick had stayed with the Jets, he would have been Parcells' man, but he would also have been expected to work miracles like Parcells had, both in East Rutherford and in Foxborough. And the pressure on him would have been tremendous, especially after his 1st season: In 2000, the Giants got back to the Super Bowl, although they lost it to the Baltimore Ravens.

Which leads to the New York media. Belichick is a grouch. Parcells can be pretty grouchy, too, but he also knew how to get the New York media on his side. The Boston media can be every bit as nasty, but Belichick toyed with them because the winning came first.

If the winning didn't come quickly in New York, how long would it have taken Steve Serby of the Post, Rich Cimini of the Daily News, Mike & the Mad Dog and their WFAN listeners, etc. to turn on him? Not long. Why would he have wanted to put with that? For the money that Woody Johnson would have given him? Bob Kraft was willing to give him more money and more control. As with NFL team owners, there's nothing an NFL head coach values more than control, and not having Parcells look over his shoulder may have helped.

But even if things had gone the Jets' way with Belichick in charge, they would have stopped. Because he would have been caught cheating. Spygate. Deflategate. Six players testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Spygate II. And that's just what we know about. Every single game the Patriots won under Belichick is suspect. Guilty until proven innocent.

Would Belichick still have done all this stuff -- or allowed others working for him to do some of this stuff -- if he'd stayed with the Jets? Would Parcells have put up with it (presuming he was still there the 1st time Belichick got caught, instead of going off to Dallas to coach the Cowboys)? I don't think so. Belichick wants to win in the worst way; Parcells wants to win in the best way. 

Maybe he wouldn't have done well with the Jets if he'd cheated. Certainly, not if he hadn't. Maybe we saw the real Belichick in Cleveland: A 36-44 coach. Or in Foxborough after Tom Brady left: A 29-38 coach. After all, his quarterback in East Rutherford would have been Chad Pennington. He was good, but not as good as a cheating-aided Tom Brady.

Let's face it: What good was taking the job for 24 hours, and then leaving it in a public way? He should have listened to the offer, said, "Give me 24 hours to think about it," and then made his decision, "No." If he had done that, it wouldn't have made a difference in either team's record since 2000, but at least his knife wouldn't have any back blood on it.

Instead, Belichick came into the Jets' house, ate their food, drank their liquor, watched their TV, slept in their guest room, and made a mess... and then walked out as soon as he got a better offer.

And he's never said he's sorry. But we wouldn't want him to lie to us, would we? Any apology he would give now would be as fraudulent as his 6 titles.

On January 11, 2024, Belichick left the Patriots' job -- officially, by mutual consent. He was 71 years old at the time, old by the standard of NFL head coaches, but, perhaps, not too old for a desperate team. But no NFL team would hire him for the 2024 season. Not counting the Patriots, 6 teams had head coaching vacancies at that point. And 3 others fired coaches during the season. That's 9 teams that could have hired him. None did. Perhaps none of them believed all that "greatest coach of all time" stuff. Or, perhaps they all believed he was too old.

On December 11, 2024, he was finally hired as a head coach -- by the University of North Carolina.