Soggy Sox Beat Yankees

Nothing feels yuckier than soggy socks, soaked by rain.

We got a lot of that this weekend.

On Friday night, the Yankees got home runs from Raul Ibanez (his 13th), Russell Martin (his 11th), and Curtis Granderson (his 28th), and a good start from Phil Hughes.Yankees 10, Red Sox 3. WP: Hughes (10-8). No save. LP: Aaron Cook (2-4).

But Saturday was another story. I was actually at this game, and was it ever an adventure. It was a Fox Saturday Game of the Week, so it was scheduled for a 4:05 start. It had been drizzling most of the day, but shortly before first pitch, the sky burst, and for an hour and a half the rain came down in buckets. Had it been scheduled for the usual home Saturday time of 1:05, most likely they would have gotten most of it in.

I knew there was no way the game would be postponed. A sellout? No way the Steinbrenner Brothers would allow a postponement. A Yankees-Red Sox game possibly extending into prime time? No way Fox would allow a postponement.

The game started 2 hours late, and it must've messed up CC Sabathia's rhythm. He allowed 3 runs in the top of the 1st. The Yankees eventually fell behind 6-1. The visiting Chowdaheads were whooping it up like the vermin they are.

But the Yanks got CC off the hook, culminating in Mark Teixeira hitting a game-tying home run off Sox reliever Vicente Padilla, who had plunked Teix earlier this month at Fenway Park and questioned his courage. Teix's trot around the bases was almost Strawberryian in its slowness, and you needed a wide-angle lens to take a picture of his smile.

However, right before that, Curtis Granderson hit 2 long drives down the right field line. On the 1st one, I tried the "Fenway Twist," waving my arms like Carlton Fisk in the 1975 World Series. It didn't work. I guess it only works for the Sox. Or to left field. Granderson struck out, and then Teix hit his game-tying homer.

In the 9th inning, Granderson misplayed a fly ball by Pedro Ciriaco. Grandy is having such a great year, so I can't hold it against him, but he picked a hell of a time to have a bad day -- really, a bad 10 minutes. The gaffe allowed the game-winning run, and another scored in the inning. The Yanks mounted no threat against former Yankee Alfredo Aceves in the bottom of the 9th.

Scum 8, Yanks 6. WP: Andrew Miller (2-1). SV: Aceves (22). LP: Rafael Soriano (2-1), although he deserved a better fate.

*

Last night's ESPN Sunday Game of the Week was frustrating. Felix Doubront got a 2-0 lead in the 2nd inning, and pretty much handcuffed the Yankees until Martin homered in the 7th. Martin then came up again in the 8th, and singled home the tying run. (He's still hitting only .189, but it was his 12th homer, and he has 29 RBIs.) Hiroki Kuroda pitched about as well as Doubront, and did not deserve the loss.

He didn't get the loss, and Dubront didn't get the win. David Robertson came out to pitch the top of the 10th, and he made the ominous mistake of walking the leadoff man, Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Will Middlebrooks singled him to 2nd.

Then came a bizarre sequence in which Sox manager Bobby Valentine and pitcher Josh "Super Punk" Beckett, who wasn't even in the game, were ejected by the umpires. Upon being tossed, Valentine took out his chewing gum, and threw it into the crowd.

It would have been less disgusting if Beckett had thrown a fried chicken bone.

He missed the Sox' win. Ryan Sweeney grounded into a forceout, eliminating Middlebrooks but getting Saltalamacchia to 3rd and himself to 1st. And then Ciriaco, the "hero" the night before, hit a looper to right that new (and popular) acquisition Ichiro Suzuki, even with the speed he still has, couldn't get to. Saltalamacchia scored. Jacoby Ellsbury grounded into a double play, but the damage was done. The Yankees couldn't score in the bottom of the 10th.

Scum 3, Yanks 2. Scum take 2 out of 3 in The Bronx.

*

So here's how the American League Eastern Division stands on the morning of July 30: The Yankees lead the Baltimore Orioles and the Tampa Bay Rays by 7 1/2 games each, 8 in the loss column. The Toronto Blue Jays are 9 back, and the Sox are 9 1/2 back, 10 in the All-Important Loss Column.

Elimination numbers: Sox 51, Jays 52, Rays & O's 53.

The Orioles come to town for a 3-game series starting tonight -- weather permitting.

*

Days until the next Yankees-Red Sox series begins: 18, on Friday night, August 17, at Yankee Stadium II.

Hours until the Red Bulls play Tottenham at Red Bull Arena: 33. I won't call this preseason match a "friendly," because it's The Scum (Arsenal's "Scum," not the Yankees'). At least I won't have to watch Harry Redknapp twitching in shorts, like I did when they visited for the 2010 New York Football Challenge.

Days until AC Milan play Real Madrid at Yankee Stadium: 9, on Wednesday night, August 8. I really would like to see this one, but will so many Italian-Americans in the Tri-State Area, and probably more of them being fans of Milan than of any other Italian club, this may be tough to get a ticket for. But then, the Chelsea vs. Paris Saint-Germain match only got around 38,000, so I may have a chance.

Days until the U.S. National Soccer Team plays again: 16, on Wednesday night, August 15, against arch-rival Mexico at the Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, a house of horrors for the Stars & Stripes, as we have never won there. And as long as Jurgen Klinsmann is still the manager, I don't expect that to change, because he cannot pick a lineup! Sack him, Sunil Gulati!

Days until Arsenal play another competitive match (not counting preseason friendlies, which are already underway): 19, on Saturday, August 18, home to Sunderland, a.k.a. the Dirty Monkey Mackems. A little under 3 weeks.  I had been under the impression that it would be the preceding Saturday.

Days until the Red Bulls next play a "derby": 30, going down to Washington to face D.C. United on Wednesday night, August 29. They travel to Foxboro to face the New England Revolution on Saturday, September 22, and to Chester to face the Union on Saturday, October 27.

Days until Rutgers plays football again: 33, on Saturday September 1, at the Superdome in New Orleans against Tulane University. Not exactly a rivalry game, although Tulane was founded by a Princeton man. And thus, in a little over a month, will begin the Kyle Flood Era. Good luck... 

Days until East Brunswick High School plays football again: 39, on Friday, September 7, home to South Brunswick. Under 6 weeks. I'm glad it's a home game: It's always good to open the season at home, and South Brunswick is particularly tough to get to: Despite the distance, it's not close to public transportation. But that's the only thing I have against them: Though they are neighbors, they are not rivals. 

Days until the Devils play again: 74, opening the season on Friday night, October 12, away to the Washington Capitals. Just 11 weeks. The home opener is the next night, against the Boston Bruins.

Days until the Devils play another local rival: 79, on Wednesday night, October 17, the 3rd game of the season, the 2nd home game, at the Prudential Center, against the Rangers, the 1st meeting between the teams since Adam Henrique put The Scum (Devils' version) in their place. The 1st meeting with the Philadelphia Flyers will be on Thursday night, November 1. I'd say the game will be at the Wells Fargo Center in Philly, but that's dependent on the arena's name not being changed... again. The 1st meeting with the New York Islanders will be on Saturday night, November 17, at the Nassau Coliseum. Barring a big change, there will be only 3 seasons left at the Coliseum -- and possibly only 18 more Devils-Islanders games, unless the Isles build a new arena, move to the Barclays Center, or somehow make the Playoffs in the next 3 seasons.

Days until the 1st Nets game in Brooklyn: 94, on Thursday, November 1, against the now actually crosstown Knicks. A little over 3 months. 

Days until the 2012 President election: 99. Just 14 weeks. Register to vote... and on November 6, vote! 

Days until the next North London Derby: 108, on Saturday, November 17, at the Emirates Stadium. The return fixture will be on Saturday, March 2, 2013, at White Hart Lane.

Days until the next East Brunswick-Old Bridge Thanksgiving clash: 115. Under 4 months. Come on you Boys in Green! Beat those Purple Bastards!

Days until Alex Rodriguez collects his 3,000th career hit: 396 (estimated around September 1, 2013). This is taking his current injury into account.  A little over a year.

Days until Super Bowl XLVIII at the Meadowlands: 552 (February 2, 2014). Less than 19 months. 

Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 700th career home run: 676 (estimated). 

Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 756th career home run to surpass all-time leader Hank Aaron: 1,516 (estimated). 

Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 763rd career home run to become as close to a "real" all-time leader as we are likely to have: 1,536 (estimated -- estimating 28 home runs a year, and he might get it early in the 2017 season, at age 41).

And They Wonder Why I Call the Boston Red Sox "The Scum"

Since I became interested in English soccer, I have taken to using the term "football supporters" use for their arch-rivals: "The Scum."

Usually, it's just banter.  Or "taking the mickey." Which originates from "Cockney Rhyming Slang." "Mickey" is short for "Mickey Bliss," which is what they say when they'd rather say, "taking the piss." Which is not the same as taking a piss.  Or "slipping someone a mickey." Of course, they are usually willing to say "take the piss" or "pisstake" in public anyway.

But I do use "The Scum" to refer to my rivals, especially the Boston Red Sox (when I'm talking about the Yankees) and the New York Rangers (when I'm talking about the New Jersey Devils).

Usually, the players on said rival teams aren't such bad guys. There are exceptions. Ex-Ranger Sean Avery, for one.  But for the most part, they don't deserve to be called Scum, and I'm just taking the piss.

*

But the Red Sox... Whether it's steroids or headhunting or just talking smack (which is not necessarily the same thing as taking the piss), a lot of these guys really are bad people.

I shouldn't say that about management. But owner John Henry, team president Larry Lucchino, and general managers Theo Epstein and his recent successor Ben Cherington have allowed such things to happen, and are thus complicit, whether they realize it or not.

The latest episode came out of this past weekend's series at Fenway Park, when the Yankees took 3 out of 4 from the Sox.

Vicente Padilla, a pitcher who failed with the Arizona Diamondbacks, the Philadelphia Phillies and the Texas Rangers, and appeared in 3 postseason games with the Los Angeles Dodgers (losing those series to the Phillies, something the Dodgers used to be known for not doing), and was previously best known for... for... somebody want to help me out here? Oh yeah: He was one of the 4 guys the Diamondbacks sent to the Phillies for Curt Schilling. (Speaking of classless Red Sox... )

To be fair, Padilla has been a starting pitcher who has won over 100 games in the major leagues, and is above .500 for his career: 106-90. But his ERA is 4.30, his ERA+ is 100 (making him exactly average among major league pitchers when it comes to giving up earned runs), and his WHIP is 1.373. For this season, now half-over, he has pitched 33 games, all in relief, has a record of 2-0, but has an ERA of 3.94 and a WHIP of 1.394 -- neither of which is good for a reliever.

Doesn't sound like a guy who should be talking much smack. Yet he talked smack about Yankee 1st baseman Mark Teixeira, who complained about getting hit by pitches.

For the record, in 363 career appearances over 14 seasons, Padilla has hit 107 batters, including an American League-leading 17 in 2006, and at least 15 in 3 other seasons. This year, he's hit only one, Teixeira.

It's gone on for a while. In an Interleague game played on June 9, 2005, when Teixeira was with the Rangers and Padilla was pitching for the Phillies, Teix hit 2 homers, and Padilla plunked him in his next at-bat.  In the interim between that game and the one this weekend, Padilla hit him 2 other times, despite having held him hitless (albeit with 2 walks over that span).

"Game-winning hits always feel good," Teix said, "but that one definitely felt good.  He doesn't have too many friends in the game. Guy throws at people. Fact of the matter, I'm not saying anything that’s news. In the NFL, he'd probably be suspended by (commissioner) Roger Goodell 8 games or a whole season."

So, yes, Teix complained.  But it's not whining if it's the truth.

But Padilla said this:

We are all men here playing baseball. We don't need no women playing baseball. He is always crying and complaining. If he has a base hit, he cries, if he doesn't, he cries. I just meant that not even women complain as much as him.

Considering how many Red Sox pitchers have hit how many Yankee batters the last few years, Padilla's not the one who has a case here.

And I'm not even going back to 1967, and the beanball brawl between Jim Lonborg and the late Thad Tillotson. Nor to the 1970s, when Dick Drago threw at Thurman Munson, hitting him in the head. I'm not even going to the late 1980s or early 1990s, when it was Roger Clemens. I'm just talking about since 1998, in the Nomar/Pedro/Papi era. These are things that, had they occurred outside, on Lansdowne Street, would have been felonious assault. Possibly even attempted murder.

Padilla also said this:

The problem is he talks about all the wrong things that others have done, but the things he’s done — against the Latinos [on the Rangers] — he doesn’t open his mouth about... He once threatened me and said he was going to hit me with a bat, and that’s when we were playing on the same team. And then, he also had problems with Frank Francisco... But he doesn’t talk about that, does he? Then, of course, he goes on and makes those comments about me.

Those comments about you were true, Vicente. Have you got any evidence that Teixeira has a problem with Latinos? Or should we just take your word for it?

As the today's entry in the blog Bleeding Yankee Blue put it, "Damn, reading that NESN interview it seemed like Padilla was upset...almost like he was going to breakdown like a "woman" and cry about it.  Ironic... isn't it?"

Considering the current trial of English soccer legend/slimeball John Terry, an accusation of racism is pretty serious.

For the record, Teixeira is of Portuguese descent.  That's not the same thing as "Latino," and the Portuguese haven't faced a level of discrimination in this country nearly to the level of the various Latino/Hispanic groups. But they haven't had it easy, either.

So, while Teixeira is very light-skinned (not all Portuguese are), he should, at the least, be sensitive to racism, whether directed at him, or anyone else, and certainly should not be guilty of it himself -- nor should anyone, but especially someone who could well have faced it. As could Padilla, who is from Nicaragua.

Teix played on the Texas Rangers, with, among others, Sandy Alomar Jr., Alfonso Soriano, Rod Barajas, Pedro Astacio, Edinson Volquez, Francisco Cordero and current Red Sox 1st baseman Adrian Gonzalez.

He played on the Atlanta Braves, with, among others, Julio Franco, Edgar Renteria, Matt Diaz, Yunel Escobar, Octavio Dotel, Manny Acosta, and current Yankee teammate Rafael Soriano.

He played on the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, with, among others, Vladimir Guerrero, Ervin Santana, Juan Rivera, Maicer Izturis, Kendrys Morales, Freddy Sandoval, Erick Aybar, and the mercurial Francisco "K-Rod" Rodriguez. If any of his current or former teammates would seem like the kind of man who would suggest Teix has problems with Latinos, K-Rod seems like he'd be the one.

And he's played on the Yankees, with, among others, Mariano Rivera, Jorge Posada, Alex Rodriguez, Robinson Cano, Melky Cabrera, Damaso Marte, Sergio Mitre, Jesus Montero, Bartolo Colon, Freddy Garcia, Eduardo Nunez and... current Red Sox pitchers Alfredo Aceves and Mark Melancon.

Remember: Included among those names are three players now on the Red Sox, who should be inclined to back up their teammate Padilla.

Not one of them has ever publicly suggested that Mark Teixeira was not a good teammate. Not one. That includes A-Gon, Ace and Melancon.

You say 3 teams have gotten rid of Teix? This is true. Does this suggest that he might not have been a good teammate? That's a reasonable question to ask. So let's look at how he left those 3 teams:

* At the 2007 trading deadline, the Rangers traded him to the Braves, because the Braves made them an offer they couldn't refuse. This offer included 2 players who were instrumental in their 2010 and '11 Pennants: Elvis Andrus and Neftali Feliz. And also current Red Sox player Jarrod Saltalamacchia, but that's merely an interesting footnote, not really relevant to this discussion. This trade was not about Teixeira's character. It was about the Rangers improving their team. And it worked.

* Just before the 2008 trading deadline, figuring they wouldn't be able to re-sign him as his contract was running out, the Braves traded him to the Angels for Casey Kotchman and a minor leaguer. This trade was about money, not Teixeira's character.

* After that season, it was the Angels who had to decide whether to sign him to an extension before the contract ran out, or risk someone else signing him. They decided not to sign him to an extension, and the Yankees pounced. It almost worked: The Angels did cut their payroll, and they did reach the AL Championship Series. But they lost it... to the Yankees. They never said anything about Teixeira's character.

And whatever flaws of character Teix has -- I've seen suggestions that he's a Republican, but that, by itself, is not a character flaw -- the Yankees seem to have overlooked them. And he's played 3 completed seasons here, and been a key cog in all 3, getting them to the postseason, including the 2009 World Championship.

I know who I'd rather have on my team, out of Teixeira and Padilla.

And yet, Padilla calls Teixeira a bigot, and questions his manhood.

As Lisa Swan says in Subway Squawkers, "And you thought Josh Beckett and John Lackey were jerks! What is it with the Red Sox? They are even more unlikeable than usual. Other than the injured Carl Crawford, who I feel sorry for, there isn't a single Boston player I can even tolerate." Which means Lisa tolerates one more than I do.

*

We move on from Padilla, and on to the fat face of the Sox since 2003, David Ortiz, Big Papi, the big fat lying cheating bastard.

Former Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon -- who isn't exactly doing well with the Phillies -- has weighed in on the current controversy over the fact that Ortiz got a 1-year, $15 million contract.  Papelbum says the Sox ought to pay him "whatever makes him happy," and says that "in my opinion, he's bigger than Ted."

In other words, Ortiz means more to the Sox franchise than their most honored player, Ted Williams.

Well, Ted never won a World Series. Ortiz has won 2.

But the, Ted didn't use steroids. Ortiz did. He used them. He got caught. He lied about it. And he got exposed as a user and a liar.

Also, Ted flew combat missions for the Marine Corps in the Korean War. Ortiz couldn't even get into the plane. Gee, maybe he is "bigger."

Ted Williams certainly had his flaws -- which I won't get into here. But who's kidding who? He wasn't just one of the best players of his generation, and one of the greatest hitters who ever lived -- if not the greatest, as is often alleged.

More than that, he was one of a very few players ever who elevated the game, who made it better. Through his mentoring of younger players, through his charitable activities, and through his authorship of The Science of Hitting -- that's right, he literally wrote the book on hitting, or at least the defining book on how to hit a baseball -- he was one of a very few players ever who did as much for baseball as the sport did for him.

David Ortiz disgraced the game. And then acted like he didn't. And then was exposed as one who did. And still acts like he didn't.

Squawker Lisa continues:

By the way, why doesn't Ortiz testing positive for PEDs in 2003 ever get brought up whenever we talk about him? This summer marks the third anniversary since Sherlock Ortiz announced that he would figure out why he failed that test. Shockingly, he never has, and just as shockingly, which is to say not shocking at all, sportswriters completely lost interest in exposing juicers once Red Sox players (Manny Ramirez also failed that test) were named.Why is it that A-Rod always gets reminded about doing steroids, but Ortiz never is? Why hasn't any reporter ever even asked Sherlock Ortiz why he tested positive?

Maybe he needs to "pull an O.J. Simpson" and get out on the golf course to find "the real steroid user." Or "the real urine sample." (Now I'm back to the "taking the piss" analogy.)

Maybe Lisa is right about her "Sherlock Holmes" analogy, and in a way she hasn't even considered: Reporters who don't ask Ortiz about being a big fat lying cheating bastard are equivalent to "the dog that didn't bark" -- or, as Arthur Conan Doyle had Holmes say, "the curious incident of the dog in the night-time" -- which helped Holmes solve the case in the story The Adventure of Silver Blaze: The dog didn't bark because he recognized the guilty party, and didn't think his presence was out of the ordinary.

In other words, just like the dog to the criminal, they think a Red Sox player using steroids is no big deal.

Just as they think it's no big deal when a Red Sox pitcher purposely hits a Yankee batter with a pitch.

Ah, but let a Yankee even have the appearance of impropriety, be it performance-enhancing drugs or purpose pitches, arguing an umpire's call or being abused by opposing fans -- and it's open season on said Yankee, be he player or manager or executive. I call it the Yankee Doodle Double Standard.

The Mitchell Report was damning. It basically ensured that Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, and a few others connected with the Yankees would be forever labeled "cheaters" by the baseball public. And this was before we knew that Alex Rodriguez had used steroids while with the Texas Rangers -- not, as far as anyone has yet proven, with the Yankees.

Yet that Report, written by former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell, a member of the Red Sox' board of directors, said nothing about Ortiz. Or Ramirez. Or several other Red Sox who've been accused, including Bronson Arroyo, who has since confessed.

And now, Clemens has been acquitted -- of perjury, of lying under oath when he said he never used steroids or any other PED. That doesn't mean he didn't use them, only that, at the moment, it hasn't been proven that he did. Which is more than can be said for Ortiz and Ramirez, the 2 biggest reasons why the Red Sox won the 2004 and 2007 World Series.

So how can we take the Mitchell Report seriously?

It's time to tell the truth: While there were cheaters on both the Yankees and the Red Sox, no team was helped more by that cheating than the Red Sox, and no team was hurt more by cheating -- others', and (in the case of Jason Giambi) their own -- than the Yankees.

So let's drop the myth that the Red Sox are the good guys and the Yankees are the Evil Empire. Let's tell the truth: The Red Sox have been, baseball-speaking, criminals. What the Yankees have done is the equivalent of illegal parking; the Red Sox, armed robbery -- and, in some cases, quite literally, felonious assault.

It is time to cut the crap. And to admit that the Boston Red Sox are scum.

Capitalized, or otherwise.

Does this mean I hate the Red Sox more than I hate the Mets? For the moment, yes. The Mets' status as a threat to the Yankees, either on the field or in public opinion, is gone, and it looks like it is not coming back anytime soon. I pity the Mets; I hate the Red Sox.

These teams came by these statuses (statii?) the old-fashioned way: They earned them.

*

One more thing: In 1998, Mark Teixeira was taken in the baseball draft by... the Boston Red Sox. He chose not to sign, instead completing his college work at Georgia Tech. He was drafted again in 2001, that time by the Rangers, and did sign.

The Red Sox could have avoided all this by finding a way to get him to sign. After all, there are a few colleges in and around Boston. An arrangement could have been made.

Yanks Roll, But Why Burnett's Head?

Yankees 8, Rangers 6. Chien-Ming Wang clearly isn't all the way back yet, but a five-run 5th inning helps. Two out of three from the surprising Texas Rangers, who are leading the American League Western Division.

But A.J. Burnett has been suspended 6 games for throwing close to, but not hitting, the Rangers' Nelson Cruz. This after Vicente Padilla twice hit Mark Teixeira earlier in the same game. Padilla was not warned, nor tossed, nor suspended, nor even fined.

Yet for throwing inside but not hitting Cruz, Burnett gets suspended 6 games? Even if that's only one start, how is that fair? I know the Yankees are rolling, but why is MLB discpline czar (and former Astro and Yank 1st baseman and Yank GM) Bob Watson making Burnett's head roll?

If Padilla is let off the hook for hitting the same player twice and Burnett is suspended for 6 games for throwing close to a batter, then something is very wrong.

I'm not saying that Bob Watson should be kinder to the team that got him his World Series ring. (As Yankee GM in 1996. Come to think of it, he didn't win a Pennant as a player in Houston, but did win one with the Yankees in 1981.)

But I am saying that, as a former hitter (and a good one, too), he should ask what he'd rather face: Getting hit with 2 pitches or almost getting hit with 1. And that he should base his disciplinary decisions on that choice.

How about this: In 1965, Giants pitcher Juan Marichal, batting against the Dodgers, claimed to be provoked by catcher John Roseboro throwing the ball back to pitcher Sandy Koufax so that it hit Marichal's ear. Words were exchanged, then Marichal repeatedly tried to hit Roseboro on the head with his bat. He got him enough times to open a two-inch gash on Roseboro's scalp.

When National League President Warren Giles reviewed the situation, he suspended Marichal for 8 games -- in other words, 2 starts. I looked it up: The Giants ended up splitting the 2 games where his spot in the rotation would have fallen. And the Giants lost the Pennant by 2 games, so that may have made the difference. (Marichal was also fined $1,750 -- or $11,800 in today's money, but a much bigger proportion of a player's salary back then.)

In a fit of rage, Marichal may have thrown away a Pennant, and appeared to have thrown away what should have been a sure election to the Hall of Fame until Roseboro publicly forgave him. That was 8 games. A.J. Burnett didn't even hit a batter, only came close... 6 games. Vicente Padilla actually does hit a player, twice... not even thrown out of the game he's in, and no suspension and no fine (so far).

Someone want to explain to me why "the Yankees always get help from the umpires and league officials?" Obviously, they don't.

By the way, I'm still mad, 26 years later, about AL President (and former Yankee GM!) Lee MacPhail overturning both the rule and the umpiring crew that correctly called George Brett out in the Pine Tar Game.

*

Anyway, Texas goes out, Tampa Bay comes in. Bring on the Ray-volution. How's that going, by the way? Huh? Rays fans? Helloooooooo? Are you there? How's the Ray-volution going?

I guess the Rays weren't a fraud, like I said all last year. Instead, they're a fluke, 2008's version of the '05 White Sox, the '06 Tigers and the '07 Rockies. At least the ChiSox actually won their World Series.

The Mets got swept in Pittsburgh. This is a story from 2009. Not 1992. Not 1979. Not 1971.

Where's Rick Pitino when the Mets need him? "Barry Bonds is not walking through that door. Bobby Bonilla's not walking through that door. Dave Parker's not walking through that door. Bill Madlock's not walking through that door. Willie Stargell's not walking through that door. Roberto Clemente certainly isn't walking through that door!"

As the legendary Pirate broadcaster Bob "the Gunner" Prince would have said, "The Buccos had 'em all the way."

This would not have pleased my Grandma, who would have been 85 years old today had she lived. She would have hated the way the Mets are playing lately. But she would have loved Citi Field.

Now she gets to watch her teams, in the various sports she likes (including Saturday's Belmont Stakes), from the ultimate skybox. Where the peanuts are always salty, the hot dogs are always properly steamed, and the beer is always cold. Don't listen to those polka guys who sing "In Heaven, There Is No Beer."