The Republicans don't like it when we call them "dumb" or "weird." Well, look at their tickets. There's been 17 elections in the television era. If we give the Presidential nominee 5 points for being dumb, 3 for being crooked, and 2 for being weird, and cut that in half for the Vice Presidential nominee, we get this:
* 1960: Richard Nixon and Henry Cabot Lodge. Lodge was okay, but Nixon was weird. Nixon was not yet, however, a crook. Rating 2.
* 1964: Barry Goldwater and William E. Miller. Both were weird. Rating: 3.
* 1968: Nixon and Spiro Agnew. Agnew was ignorant, if not exactly "dumb." So I'll give that "half a dumb." And both turned out to be criminals. Rating: 7.75.
* 1976: Jerry Ford and Bob Dole. Ford was often called dumb. He wasn't, but he was gaffe-prone. So I'll give that "half a dumb." Dole was neither dumb nor weird, but he was mean. Rating: 2.5.
* 1980: Ronald Reagan and George Bush the father. Both were weird. Reagan was also dumb. While Bush Sr. wasn't dumb, he was clueless about how the middle class lived. So that's "half a dumb." Rating: 9.25.
* 1984: Reagan and Daddy Bush again. And Reagan went on to commit impeachable offenses, though his people protected him from the impeachment process. Rating: 12.25.
* 1988: Daddy Bush and Dan Quayle. Quayle was dumb and weird. Rating: 7.5.
* 1992: Daddy Bush and Quayle again. Rating: 7.5.
* 1996: Dole and Jack Kemp. Kemp was comparatively normal, and certainly wasn't dumb. But he joked that he sustained 11 concussions as a quarterback, adding, "Nothing left to do but go into politics!" So he put his mental capacity into question. I'll give that "half a dumb." Rating: 1.25.
* 2000: George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Bush the son was dumb, Cheney was mean, and both were crooked. Rating: 12.
* 2004: Dubya Bush and Cheney again. Rating: 12.
* 2008: John McCain and Sarah Palin. McCain was comparatively normal. But he'd lived almost his whole life on the federal government's dime: First as the son of a Navy officer, than as one himself, and then, after a brief civilianship as a rich woman's husband, a member of Congress, first in the House, then in the Senate. As a result, he was, like Bush the father, not dumb, but clueless about economic issues affected the middle class. So that's "half a dumb." Palin was really dumb, but she (and her family) turned out to be even more weird than dumb. Rating: 6.
* 2012: Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. Romney was weird, and also clueless about the middle class, for "half a dumb." Ryan was not dumb or weird, just a jerk. Rating: 4.5.
* 2016: Donald Trump and Mike Pence. Trump is more weird than dumb, and boy, is he dumb. And, of course, he's crooked. And Pence is weird, and not all that bright, either. Rating: 13.5.
* 2020: Trump and Pence again. Rating: 13.5.
* 2024: Trump and J.D. Vance. Vance is weird, and he's not all that bright, either. Rating: 13.5.
2016 13.50
2020 13.50
2024 13.50
1984 12.25
2000 12.00
2004 12.00
1980 9.25
1968 7.75
1972 7.75
1988 7.25
1992 7.25
2008 6.00
2012 4.50
1964 3.00
1976 2.50
1960 2.00
1996 1.25
Total: 135.25. Average: 7.96. Almost 8.
Weird. Dumb. Crooked.
Vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. They're none of those things.
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