Jet fans: We'd say, "Hold my beer," but we've already butt-fumbled it.
Seriously: What the hell, Jets? I know the Cleveland Browns are improved -- they should have won each of their 1st 2 games -- but you don't blow a 14-point lead against a team that hasn't won in almost 2 years!
The Browns have 28 Playoff appearances in their 70-season history -- 1946 to 1995, and 1999 onward -- but none since 2002. They have 13 Division titles, but none since 1989. They have 17 Conference Championship Game appearances, but, again, none since 1989, They have made 15 trips to their league's championship game, but none since 1969. And they have 8 league titles, 4 in the old All-America Football Conference and 4 in the NFL, but none since 1964.
They lost all 16 games in 2017, becoming only the 2nd NFL team ever to do so, and only the 3rd to go winless in a season of at least 14 games. In 2016, they were 1-15, including losing to both the Jets and the Giants in Cleveland. In 2015, they were 3-13. Going back to 2014, they have won only 4 of their last 50 games: 4-45-1, for a "winning" percentage of .090.
And the Jets blew a 14-point lead over them.
The Browns' last win was on Christmas Eve, December 24, 2016, at home at FirstEnergy Stadium, over the San Diego Chargers, 20-17. That was a span of 635 days. How long has that been?
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No team had ever come back from a deficit of greater than 10 points to win a Super Bowl. There had never been a Super Bowl going to overtime. The Philadelphia Eagles hadn't won an NFL Championship since 1960. The Buffalo Bills hadn't made the Playoffs since 1999. The Chargers were still officially a San Diego team.
The Houston Astros had never won a World Series. The Washington Capitals had never won a Stanley Cup. The Vegas Golden Knights only existed on paper.
All of these facts have now changed.
The Bills, the Chargers, the New York Giants, the Arizona Cardinals, the Chicago Bears, the Denver Broncos, the Detroit Lions, the Indianapolis Colts, the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Los Angeles Rams, the Oakland Raiders, the San Francisco 49ers and the Tennessee Titans have all changed their head coaches since. So have the Yankees, the Mets, the Knicks, the Rangers, the Islanders, and New York City FC.
The Chargers (sort of), the Atlanta Falcons, the Minnesota Vikings, the Atlanta Braves, the Detroit Pistons, the Sacramento Kings, the Islanders, the Detroit Red Wings, the Edmonton Oilers, and (officially, if not competitively) the Milwaukee Bucks have moved into new venues.
Sports legends Dan Rooney, Milt Schmidt, Graham Taylor, Carlos Alberto, Piet Keizer, Raymond Kopa, Jim Bunning, Darrall Imhoff, John Kundla, Waldir Peres, Jake LaMotta, Manuel Sanchis Martinez, Roy Halladay, Hans Schafer, Bobby Doerr, Jana Novotna, Johnny Bower, Cyrille Regis, Jo Jo White, Jimmy Armfield, Roger Bannister, Ray Wilkins, Hal Greer, Ray Wilson, Anne Donovan, Walter Bahr, Irena Szewinska, Frank Ramsey, Lindy Remigino, Stan Mikita and Jimmy McIlroy were all still alive.
So were music legends George Michael, Al Jarreau, Chuck Berry, Chris Cornell, Gregg Allman, Prodigy, Glenn Campbell, Walter Becker, Don Williams, Tom Petty, Fats Domino, Malcolm Young, Della Reese, Mel Tillis, David Cassidy, Johnny Hallyday, Keely Smith, Edwin Hawkins, Dolores O'Riordan, Hugh Masekela, Dennis Edwards, Vic Damone, D.J. Fontana and Aretha Franklin.
So were actors William Christopher, David Ogden Stiers and Soon-Tek Oh, known for their performances on M*A*S*H; Om Puri, Miguel Ferrer, John Hurt, Mike Connors, Richard Hatch, Bill Paxton, Tim Pigott-Smith, Roger Moore, Adam West, Stephen Furst, Martin Landau, Jay Thomas, Richard Anderson, Harry Dean Stanton, Roy Dotrice, Robert Guillaume, John Hillerman, Jim Nabors, Jerry Van Dyke, John Mahoney, Chuck McCann, R. Lee Ermey, Harry Anderson, Verne Troyer, Tab Hunter, Bill Daily, Christopher Lawford and Burt Reynolds.
So were actresses Debbie Reynolds, her daughter Carrie Fisher, Mary Tyler Moore, Barbara Hale, Daliah Lavi, Dina Merrill, Glenne Headly, Anita Pallenberg, June Foray, Jeanne Moreau, Jay Thomas, Anne Jeffreys, Dorothy Malone, Nanette Fabray, Sridevi, Margot Kidder and Charlotte Rae.
So were TV show hosts Bruce Forsyth, Monty Hall, Anthony Bourdain, Ed Schultz and Robin Leach; directors Jonathan Demme, George A. Romero, Tobe Hooper, Steven Bochco and Milos Forman; comedians Don Rickles, Dick Gregory and Jerry Lewis; writers William Peter Blatty, Robert James Waller, Derek Walcott, Sam Shepard, Kate Millett, Len Wein, Richard Wilbur, Sue Grafton, Peter Mayle, Ursula K. LeGuin, Mort Walker, Tom Wolfe, Philip Roth, Harlan Ellison, Steve Ditko, V.S. Naipaul and Neil Simon.
So were journalist Charles Krauthammer; astronauts Gene Cernan, Bruce McCandless, John Young and Alan Bean; publisher Hugh Hefner; Amway founder and Orlando Magic founder-owner Richard DeVos; fashion designer Kate Spade; psychologist Arthur Janov; astronomer Stephen Hawking; murderer Charles Manson; 1963 British sex scandal centerpiece Christine Keeler; evangelist Billy Graham; and world leaders Mario Soares, Akbar Hashemi Rasanjani, Rene Preval, Martin McGuinness, Zbigniew Brzezinski, Manuel Noriega, Helmut Kohl, King Michael I of Romania, Barbara Bush, Atal Bihari Vajpayee, Kofi Annan and John McCain.
They were all still alive the last time the Cleveland Browns won a regular-season game. They're all dead now.
The offices of the President of the United States, the Governor of New Jersey, the President of France, and 2 Justices of the U.S. Supreme Court have all changed hands. (Anthony Kennedy's seat is, for the moment, vacant, so, while it hasn't been received, it has changed hands.)
Star Wars, Episode VIII: The Last Jedi has been released. Superheroes Wonder Woman and Black Panther finally got their 1st live-action films. A live-action version of Beauty and the Beast was made. Avengers: Infinity War dared to (however temporarily) kill off Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, the original Ant-Man, the original and new Wasps, and, yes, Black Panther.
Victoria (about the 19th Century British Queen), Riverdale (a gritty reboot of Archie Comics), Legion, Big Little Lies, The Good Fight, 13 Reasons Why, Star Trek: Discovery, The Orville (the show that Star Trek: Disco should have been), Killing Eve; the superhero shows Iron Fist, Superhuman, The Punisher, Black Lightning, and, sort-of, Krypton and Jack Ryan; and new versions of One Day at a Time, Dynasty and Lost In Space have premiered.
The awful reboot of The Odd Couple, The Vampire Diaries, The Real O'Neals, Duck Dynasty, Bones, Grimm, Sleepy Hollow, Last Man Standing, Black Sails, 2 Broke Girls, Bates Motel, Reign, Pretty Little Liars, The Fairly OddParents, Orphan Black, Turn: Washington's Spies, Charlie Rose and The O'Reilly Factor were all canceled. Roseanne was brought back... and then brought back as The Conners, without Roseanne Barr.
"Black Beatles" by Rae Sremmurd featuring Gucci Mane was the Number 1 song in America. Black Beatles? Maybe if James Brown (as the "John Lennon") and Smokey Robinson (as the "Paul McCartney") played guitars in front of Motown's Funk Brothers. These guys? It's not a terrible song, and the real Sir Paul said he liked it. But... no.
At the end of 2016, Donald Trump, his sycophants, and their Russian puppetmasters prepared to take the White House from Barack Obama. Chicago Cubs fans were still celebrating their 1st World Championship in 108 years, and their 1st Pennant in 71 years. A 52-year civil war in Colombia came to an end with a peace treaty.
This is usually where I cite deaths and births, but the deaths have already been mentioned, and no one yet famous was born at that time.
December 24, 2016. The Cleveland Browns won a regular-season NFL game. They did not win another until last night.
It was against the New York Jets. Because of course it was.
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