That Makes the Score 275 million to 763

Well, it appears to be settled: Alex Rodriguez is staying. And, thanks to the almost-certain fact that Barry Bonds will never play again, we now know the number A-Rod is chasing. It's no longer 350 million, or even 275 million.

The number A-Rod is chasing is 763 -- even though it's really 756. Just 244 homers more, and we won't have to use the words "the real record" anymore. Not about career home runs, anyway. If he stays healthy and averages 41 homers a year for 6 more years (late September 2013, when he'll be 38), he's got it.

(UPDATE: As it turned out, that wasn't even close.)

Rewriting the Record Book *

Note: The following was written before it was revealed that Alex Rodriguez had used steroids while with the Texas Rangers from 2001 to 2003.

The following are baseball home run records. They do not require asterisks.

Most home runs, single-season: 61, Roger Maris, 1961.

Most home runs, single-season, right-handed hitter: 58, Jimmie Foxx, 1932, also Hank Greenberg, 1938.

Most home runs, single-season, National League: 56, Hack Wilson, 1930.

Most home runs, single-season, National League, left-handed hitter: 58, Ryan Howard, 2006.

Most home runs, career: 755, Hank Aaron.

Most home runs, career, left-handed hitter: 714, Babe Ruth.

Most home runs, single-season, San Francisco Giants: 52, Willie Mays, 1965.

Most home runs, single-season, St. Louis Cardinals: 49, Albert Pujols, 2006.

Most home runs, single-season, Chicago Cubs: 56, Hack Wilson, 1930.

Most home runs, single-season, Arizona Diamondbacks: 38, Jay Bell, 1999.

*

The entire list of players who have hit 40 home runs and stolen 40 bases in the same season:

Alex Rodriguez, 1998 Seattle Mariners
Alfonso Soriano, 2006 Washington Nationals

That's it. Only two.

*

American League Most Valuable Player, 1988: Mike Greenwell, Boston Red Sox.
National League Most Valuable Player, 1996: Mike Piazza, Los Angeles Dodgers.
National League Most Valuable Player, 1998: Moises Alou, Houston Astros.
National League Most Valuable Player, 2001: Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals.
National League Most Valuable Player, 2002: Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals.
National League Most Valuable Player, 2003: Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals.
National League Most Valuable Player, 2004: Adrian Beltre, Los Angeles Dodgers.

*

Of course, these are neither officially recognized by Major League Baseball nor capable of being enforced by me. And there may be others who will have to be stripped of records and awards, just as B---- B----, M--- M------, S---- S---, J--- C------, R----- P-------, L--- G------- and K-- C------- have been.

But those players whose names I have obscured above did not deserve those awards, and should be stripped of their records.

"When the One Great Scorer comes to mark against your name
he marks not that you won or lost, but how you played the game."
-- Grantland Rice (1880-1954)

OK, that flies in the face of things I've said about Alex Rodriguez. But he is now miles ahead of those others, regardless of whether he ever hits 62 homers in a season, or 74; or 756 home runs in his career, or 763.

But after being indicted yesterday on four counts of perjury and one charge of obstruction of justice, charges that would bring, if convicted on all, a maximum of 30 years in prison -- and they wouldn't have indicted if they weren't pretty sure of a conviction -- we can be pretty sure that B---- B---- will remain stuck on 762. Even if he's acquitted (fat chance), who would risk the radioactive publicity they'd get by signing him?

2007: Perhaps the strangest year baseball has ever had, from the home run record chase to "As the A-Rod Turns"; from the Mets blowing a big lead to the Phillies taking advantage of it, instead of the historical other way around; from the Rockies winning 21 out of 22 to the Red Sox violating the once-every-86 years rule.

I'm glad I went through it, but I hope we never go through a year like it again.

And Are We Just Supposed to Forgive? Maybe

So, A-Rod threw himself on the mercy of the court. Or, to use another analogy, came in sackcloth and ashes. And we Yankee Fans are just supposed to forgive, simply because he’s one of the greatest players of all time?

There is precedent, though:

June 1925: Babe Ruth is a fat, overpaid bum who ate his way out of the lineup. September 1927: The Babe hits a record 60 homers and is the greatest player who ever lived.

April 1938: Joe DiMaggio is an ungrateful smart-aleck kid who should be thankful he has a job in this time of Depression, instead of holding out against the greatest of all baseball teams. October 1939: The Yankee Clipper is the MVP and everybody loves him.

October 1955: Mickey Mantle is a moody kid who strikes out too much, gets hurt too much, and dodged the draft in the Korean War. (He was actually 4-F, but some people thought he, or the Yankees, had gotten a doctor to “fix” that.) October 1956: The Mick wins the Triple Crown, the MVP, and his homer wins Don Larsen’s World Series perfect game, and he becomes the most popular player in baseball.

September 1961: Roger Maris is a surly guy and a .270 hitter who doesn’t deserve to break the record of the great Babe Ruth. October 1961: The Rajah hits Number 61 and gets a standing ovation.

June 1977: Reggie Jackson is a hot-dogging, egotistical, disruptive influence who is publicly questioning his manager and should be traded. October 1977: Boom, boom, boom, and a lot of baby boys, and a few baby girls, are soon named “Reggie.”

November 1995: The new manager is "Clueless Joe." October 1996: The new manager is Saint Joseph of Sheepshead Bay.

April 1996: How dare Tino Martinez, this outsider from Seattle, replace the great Don Mattingly? October 1996: Oh, that’s how, by winning a Pennant and a World Series, which Mattingly never did.

September 1998: Roger Clemens is a headhunting punk. October 1999: The Rocket wins the clinching game of the World Series and we cheer him.

I can’t do one of these for Alex Rodriguez, because it would require several entries, his approval rating going up and down like a yo-yo.

My first choice would still be to see him go, because he is still, fairly or not, a convenient symbol for the Yankees not winning the Pennant in each of these last four seasons.

But maybe he is showing that winning and being a Yankee are more important to him than money and Scott Boras are. I’m staying tuned…

But Hank Steinbrenner did the right thing. He said, “We don’t want anybody who doesn’t want to be a Yankee,” and A-Rod, by coming with hat in hand and Boras nowhere to be found, said, for all intents and purposes, “Wahhhh! I wanna be a Yankee! Please, sir, I want some more! I’ll even take less money for it! Please, gimme one more chance in Pinstripes!”

I’m reminded of the end of the Eagles’ song “Hotel California” – appropriate, since it seemed that’s where he was headed: “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!”

But I’m also reminded of a Temptations song, which could be sung by A-Rod to the World Series trophy: “Unimportant are all the things I can do, 'cause I can't get next to you! No matter what I do!”

Sgt. Torre's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Sorry that it's taken me so long to get back, but now I'm gonna get back to where I once belonged. Which is a pretty good segue:

The Yankees re-signed catcher Jorge Posada. That's one load off my mind. Now it looks like they're going to lock up Mariano Rivera, and then we'll only need one more starter (which we may already have, among the kids) and a 3rd baseman (don't get me started).

Somebody -- I won't say who, but he roots for The Other Team -- recently suggested that Posada is the "Ringo" of the Yankees' 1996-2003 dynasty. It's gotta be the nose and the ears, since it can't be the hair. And let's be fair here: Ringo Starr was a great drummer, and I don't want to hear that Keith Moon of The Who or John Bonham of Led Zeppelin were better: They were better, but they weren't Beatles.

So if Jorge is Ringo on the Yankees, what would he be on the Mets? He'd be either John or Paul, since the Mets are the Rolling Stones of New York: Call 'em "The World's Greatest Rock and Roll Band" all you want, but that doesn't make it true. Also, like the Stones compared to the Beatles, the Mets' drug problems have been more embarrassing than the Yankees'.

Mariano would be George Harrison, since he's the one interested in religions, which may let him out of being John Lennon; or maybe Bernie Williams was George, because he's the one with the guitar that gently weeps; Andy Pettitte has a Lennonesque nose; and Derek Jeter is Paul, not just because his shortstop play and his clutch hits are so lyrical, but because nobody except Paul McCartney has ever walked into a New York sports stadium or arena and made more teenage girls scream.

But does that make Joe Torre producer George Martin? What does it make Brian Cashman? Brian Epstein? (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) I wouldn't want to compare Ed Sullivan, Murray (the K) Kaufman or Bruce Morrow to George Steinbrenner -- especially since Cousin Brucie is a Brooklynite and a proud Dodger-turned-Met fan. (But then, nobody's perfect.)

I realize that, on their 1965 and 1966 tours, the Beatles played Shea Stadium, not Yankee Stadium, despite the Bronx ballyard having more seats. CBS was liberal enough to let the Fab Four play on The Ed Sullivan Show, but not on the field of the team they then owned.

Then again, it didn't do the Mets any favors: They finished 10th in '65 and 9th in '66. (Ten-team, single-division leagues back then.)

But, in the years since, John was photographed in a Yankee cap, and Paul has been to a number of games at The Stadium. These things tend to work out. We can work it out.

Unless "we" are the Yankees and Alex Rodriguez. I don't care how repentant he is over the Scott Boras debacle over the last three weeks: He only wants to be a Yankee for the money and the publicity. He hasn't got a clue as to what being a Yankee means.

He's not Eric Clapton, or Elton John, or Billy Preston, or Ravi Shankar, or even Harry Nilsson. (All of whom had musical associations with the Beatles, while they were together or individually.) You know what he is? He's Michael Jackson. He had the duets with Derek/Paul, and the individual success, and the pretty face. And now, all the "plastic surgery" in the world can't restore his image, and he's a weirdo.

Although, as far as I know, not a criminal. And even if you take away the criminal investigations against Jacko, he's still weirder than A-Rod will ever get -- I hope!

Jacko must -- I hope he does -- want to return to the days when the jokes were far less malicious. Like this one: Did you hear the Mets signed Michael Jackson? Just what they need: Another guy who wears a glove on only one hand for no apparent reason!

(UPDATE: Michael Jackson was still alive when I wrote this.)

Of course, the Mets are bad. It doesn't matter if they're black or white: When it came to losing in September, they decided, "Don't stop 'til you get enough." They were really off the wall. And now Met fans would like Tom Glavine to beat it. Maybe they should start with the man in the mirror.

Hmmmm... Does this make Don Mattingly Pete Best? Or maybe it makes him Cliff Richard.

(NOTE: This was before Cliff Richard, like Michael Jackson, was accused of being a pedophile.)

Auuuugh! I can't stand it!

The Boston Red Sox have won the World Series for the 2nd time in 4 years.

In the words of the immortal Charlie Brown, "AUUUUUUUUGH! I can't stand it! Good grief! My stomach hurts!"

As you can see, I've moved on from shock, past denial, to anger... and to disgust. Next comes bargaining, as in fix the roster, starting with dumping, as King George would say, "the 3rd baseman." Finally, will come determination: Next season will bring Title 27.

There is no "acceptance." As Yogi Berra would have said, if he'd thought of it first, "When you accept losing, you accept losing."

I will not accept losing. If I was willing to accept losing, I'd root for some other team, like, oh, I don't know... the one that spent late September, uh, flushing away a Playoff berth.

I'm reminded of that scene from Fever Pitch, where Jimmy Fallon watched his tape of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, the Buckner Game, rewinding and rerunning the fatal pitch, and his Sox-fan friends broke in and staged an intervention: "Where'd you get this? Huh? Where's your stash? All right, let's clean him up!"

The morning after, being a Yankee Fan, I went back to a moment not of catastrophe, but of glory. Two, in fact: Bucky Blessed Dent and Aaron Blessed Boone. And I still got to work on time.

To all the Red Sox fans who are either old enough to remember the hard times, or sober enough to not be one of the bozos making spectacles of themselves for the sake of slobbering ESPN and Fox cameramen... Congratulations on a hard-fought victory by the best team in baseball.

To all the others... It's still 26 to 7 (8 if you count 1904), Pedro is still a headhunting punk, Nomar did not have godlike powers, Munson was still better than Fisk, Chambliss' homer actually won a championship unlike Fisk's, Jim Bouton's book is still better than Bill Lee's, Tony C was an overrated nightlife-chaser (making him your Pepitone rather than your Mantle), DiMaggio was a better player than Williams, and Chris von der Ahe invented the sports bar in St. Louis before Michael "Nuf Ced" McGreevey opened his in Boston.

And Tessie is still a whore.

As If I Needed Another Reason Not to Vote For Rudy Giuliani

So, Rudolph William Giuliani, "America's Mayor" and "the world's biggest Yankee fan," is rooting for the Boston Red Sox to win the World Series, because he's an American League fan.

Fans of American League teams don't think that way. Fans of National League teams do. Met fans will root for the NL Pennant winners solely because they're an NL team. These are the same boneheads who say, "New York is a National League town. New York has always been a National League town."

That explains why the Yankees held the New York attendance record from 1920 to 1970, and have held it again since 1998.

Count 'em: Yankees 39 Pennants, Giants 17, Dodgers 13, Mets 4. To put it another way: AL 39, NL 34. And that's with 68 seasons, 1890 through 1957, with two NL teams in New York. World Championships? Yankees 26, Giants 5, Mets 2, Dodgers 1; AL 26, NL 8.

NL wins over AL? The Giants beat the Yankees in 1921 and 1922; the Dodgers beat the Yankees in 1955; the Mets have never beaten the Yankees. AL wins over NL? The Yankees beat the Giants in 1923, '36, '37 and '51; the Dodgers in '41, '47, '49, '52, '53 and '56; and the Mets in 2000. That's AL 11, NL 3. Since the start of Divisional Play in 1969, it's Playoff Berths, it's Yanks 19, Mets 7; Division Titles, Yanks 16, Mets 5; Pennants, Yanks 10, Mets 4; World Championships, Yanks 6, Mets 2; Subway Series, Yanks 1, Mets 0.

Explain to me again why rooting for one specific league matters, especially in New York?

So what's the real reason Rudy's rooting for the Red Sox? I will tell you: It's because he wants to win the New Hampshire Primary. That's the only reason. If Colorado had the nation's first primary election, he'd be decked out in purple and black.

The man was with the Clintons and Governor Mario Cuomo when it was to his advatnage; he switched to Bush and new Governor George Pataki when it was advantageous to do so.

After he loses the nomination, he'll give a Convention speech saying how wonderful a human being the nominee is and what a great President he'll make. Which will be tough for him, since he doesn't think anyone's better. Especially if it's Mitt Romney, who he really ripped -- as, among other things, a "flip-flopper" who changes positions when it becomes politically convenient. Like Rudy himself hasn't done that before.

Then again, Romney was Governor of Massachusetts, and he hasn't said a word about the Red Sox. At least John Kerry, clumsy as he was about it (bad first pitch, the "Manny Ortez" thing, etc.), was root, root, rooting for his home team, come what may.

Pete Coors, the Coors beer baron who owns a piece of the Rockies franchise, is a major Republican fundraiser. It might have been more advantageous to Giuliani to announce he was rooting for the Rockies.

He doesn't have to win the New Hampshire Primary to get the nomination, because the whole point of his appeal is that he can supposedly get the States that usually go Democratic. That will help him in the later primaries.

But if he'd sided with Pete Coors and the Rockies, he would have pleased Yankee fans in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut -- that's 56 Electoral Votes the Democrats usually get -- and Pete probably would have raised a ton o' funds for him, which would have helped him in several Western States that the Dems think they have a shot at in 2008, including Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, and possibly even Montana.

What New Englanders is Reichskanzler Rudy really trying to please now? The taxophobes in New Hampshire? They know his record: It ain't one they would like. So what New Englander... Oh yeah, New Haven, Connecticut native George W. Bush.

Let's not forget: Rudy bashed Hillary Clinton as a "flip-flopper" for being a Chicago area native and a Cubs fan who started wearing a Yankee cap when she ran for the Senate seat in New York. Now, Rudy has flipped... his lid. He has flipped when he wants us to believe he's "decisive" and "sticks to his principles." Unless said principles can be tossed overboard -- that's what we called it, kids, before you started saying "thrown under the bus" -- in order to take another step toward winning the White House.

So what's Hillary saying on the subject? She's calling herself a dispassionate observer, since neither of her teams are in. Smart lady: Staying out of a fight she has no place in. If Bush had done that... But that's a story for another time.

As a Yankee Fan, I've rooted for the Red Sox twice. The first time was in the 1986 World Series, because I hate the Mets that much. And I think we all know how THAT one turned out. The other time was in the 2004 Series, despite their humiliation of the Yankees, because it seemed silly to do that, and then lose the Series.

I like Boston. I like New England. But I will not root for the Red Sox again. Or the Celtics. Or the Patriots as long as that cheating Bill Belichick is their coach. Maybe the Bruins, if they're playing the Rangers (who suck), Islanders or Flyers. Maybe Boston College, if they're playing Notre Dame, Penn State or Miami. Not the Red Sox, unless we end up with another Sox-Mets World Series. Or a Sox-Dodgers World Series. As Joseph Conrad would say, "The horror... the horror... "

Yankee Fan Rudy abandoning New York for the Red Sox... As they used to say in cartoons, when nearly every voice-over guy had a N'Yawk accent... "What a maroon!"

The Other Team's Fans Chuckle... Why?

With the way Joe Torre has been treated by Yankee management, several Met fan websites are chuckling with glee.

That's their right, but... consider the source. They're Met fans. The Flushing Heathen, as I've been calling them since 1998. What do these guys know about baseball?

The guy who ran the Always Amazin' blog for nj.com, the website for the Star-Ledger of Newark, the Jersey Journal of Jersey City and The Times of Trenton, has actually given up writing it. Maybe he's tired, maybe he's frustrated, maybe he's doing it for his physical and mental health. I applaud him.

(UPDATE: That blog would evolve into Amazin' Avenue, and is still being written today.)

There are others who apparently wish to flaunt their ill mental health. The Kranepool Society -- the equivalent of a Yankee Fan naming his website after... actually, there is no viable equivalent, as the Yanks never had a guy do little more than hang on for 18 years and make Gillette Foamy commercials -- calls the Yankees by their 1903-1912 name, the Highlanders, and posts a picture of Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez... with Derek Jeter's head on Cynthia's body.

Yes, we get the joke: "Gay-Rod" and a bachelor who dates famous actresses and singers only as a front. The joke was stupid in 1998, it was stupid when A-Rod arrived in 2004, and it isn't funny now.

And get your lies straight: Either Alex is fooling around with strippers or he's gay, but he's not both; either Derek is spreading herpes to gorgeous actresses (more on that in a moment) or he's gay, but he's not both. Better to be only a liar than a lying weasel.

They also have a picture of a post-spider-hole Saddam Hussein wearing a Yankee cap. Maybe so, but Bert Walker was one of the original stockholders of the Mets, and he was George W. Bush's great-uncle (as opposed to myself, Ashley and Rachel's great uncle), and Bush was and remains a greater threat to America than Saddam ever was.

The yutz who writes that blog also thinks the Mets are going to sign Mariano Rivera. In the words of the late, great Brooklyn Dodger fan Jackie Gleason, "Lemme have what you're having, I wanna get loaded, too!"

The author of the blog Brooklyn Met Fan writes of Joe Torre "firing George Steinbrenner":

Oh what a joyous day for Met fans and Yankee haters alike!... It’s all so perfect from where we as Met fans stand. Oh what a great moment at the end of this baseball season in NYC!

(UPDATE: That blog is now out of business.)

Perfect? Perfect? No, "perfect" is what ex-Met David Cone did on the mound at Yankee Stadium on July 18, 1999. "Perfect" is 25,000 people at Shea Stadium chanting "Let's Go Yankees!" and "Thank You Joe!" and "Thank You George!" a few minutes after midnight on October 27, 2000. (OK, maybe that wasn't "perfect," but, as MasterCard would say, it was "Priceless.")

He also says "the Yankees have choked for 7 consecutive years." Uh, no. The Yankees choked in 2004, and Jeff Weaver screwed everything up in 2003. In each of the other 5 years, the Yankees were outplayed, perhaps not by a better team, but by a team that was better that week.

And after what's happened to the Mets for 21 straight years, including the chokes of 1988, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2006 and 2007, to say the Yankees have "choked" is, as former Yankee 2nd baseman and broadcaster Jerry Coleman (now the longtime voice of the San Diego Padres) would say, "treading thin water here."

Then there's the guy who writes and edits "Yankees 2000: Promote the Curse." (Which curse would that be, the Curse of Kevin Mitchell, which has bedeviled the Mets for 21 years now?) He says, "The Yankees, as we have known all along, lack even the faintest semblance of class."

Right, I'm gonna let a guy who roots for the team of Pedro Martinez, Paul Lo Duca, Jose Reyes and Lastings Milledge (and that's just counting current miscreants) lecture my team about class.

Then he said, "The Yankees Are (Screwed)." Is that a reference to the Yankees' future? I'll take my team's prospects -- whether by "prospects" you mean "young, promising players" or "likelihood of future titles" -- over theirs anyway.

(UPDATE: This was written before I decided it was my blog, and I can use profanity in it if I want to. At that point, I wouldn't use it at all.)

Then he refers to "Jeter's herp," slobbering over the story that Derek Jeter gave a certain actress herpes. (I won't mention her name, because she does not deserve to be mentioned in the same paragraph as the Mets, and, besides, she once starred in a TV show as a character who could paste either me or the doofus who writes that blog.)

(UPDATE: If you must know, the actress in question was Jessica Alba. It appears that she did, at one point, date Jeter. But there is no known evidence that either of them has ever had any sexually transmitted disease.)

He closes by saying, "Hating the Yankees just got great again." Really? And what has it gotten you? It's gotten you 1969, 1986, and up to your neck in agita.

Yikes. Makes you wonder if, loathsome though he was, John Rocker had a point: "I would say the majority of Mets fans aren't even humans. They're more like... Neanderthals."

Yeah, he should've looked in the mirror, having said that during a postgame interview during the 1999 NLCS. But... Choosing the Yankees over the Mets? Apparently, it's not "so easy, a caveman could do it."

I guess Met fans would like to gloss over the fact that the Yankees won the 2000 World Series in 5 games, beating the Mets and celebrating on the field at Shea Stadium.

And I guess they would also like to gloss over the fact that, just last month, their Metropolitans had a 7-game Division lead with 17 games to go, and didn't even make the Playoffs.

That gives them, in 2000, the most embarrassing loss in the postseason history of New York baseball; and, in 2007, the most embarrassing loss in the regular-season history of New York baseball.

More embarrassing than the 1904 Yankees, or Highlanders as the name really was at the time, who had to sweep a doubleheader from the Boston Pilgrims (as the Red Sox were then known) on the last day of the season, and did win the second game, but lost the first when 41-game winner (nope, that's not a misprint) Jack Chesbro let in the winning run with a wild pitch.

More embarrassing than the 1908 New York Giants, who arguably had a Pennant stolen from them, and had to replay a regular-season game as, for all intents and purposes, a playoff, but had it at home, and had Christy Mathewson on the mound... and lost.

More embarrassing than the 1912 Giants, who went into extra innings in the deciding game of the World Series, and made 2 errors to blow a 1-run lead and lose.

More embarrassing than the 1926 Yankees, who had Babe Ruth as the tying run on 1st with 2 outs in Game 7 of the World Series and Lou Gehrig at the plate... and lost because Ruth, not a man who looked like a base stealer, tried to steal second, and was thrown out.

More embarrassing than the 1941 Brooklyn Dodgers, who were 1 strike away from tying up the World Series at 2 apiece... and lost when their closer Hugh Casey threw what is believed to be a spitball, and catcher Mickey Owen couldn't handle it, allowing Tommy Henrich to reach 1st, Joe DiMaggio to single, and Charlie Keller to double them home, with the Yanks winning the Series the next day.

More embarrassing than the 1950 Dodgers, who were in extra innings of a game whose win would force a Playoff at home, and gave up a home run to Dick Sisler.

More embarrassing than the 1951 Dodgers, who had a 13 1/2-game lead on the Giants on August 11, blew it, and were still 2 outs away from winning the Pennant with a 3-run lead... and lost on a home run by Bobby Thomson.

More embarrassing than the 1956 Dodgers, who went into Game 7 of the last of the classic Subway Series at home, and lost when the Yankees beat them 9-0.

More embarrassing than the 1963 Yankees, who won 104 games, then got swept in the World Series.

More embarrassing than the 1973 Mets, who had a 3-games-to-2 lead in the World Series, and lost.

More embarrassing than the 1976 Yankees, who were physically and emotionally exhausted after winning a thrilling American League Championship Series, and were swept in the World Series.

More embarrassing than the 1981 Yankees, who had a 2-games-to-0 lead in the World Series, and lost 4 straight.

More embarrassing than the 1988 Mets, who had a 3-games-to-2 lead in the National League Championship Series, and lost to a Dodger team that had Orel Hershiser, Kirk Gibson, Mike Scioscia and 22 guys named John Shelby.

More embarrassing than the 1995 Yankees, who had a 2-games-to-0 lead in the American League Division Series, and lost 3 straight.

More embarrassing than the 1998 Mets, who had to win just 1 of their last 5 regular season games to make the Playoffs... and lost them all.

More embarrassing than the 1999 Mets, who lost a Pennant on a bases-loaded walk, a method of losing a title or series that no other team has ever used.

More embarrassing than the 2001 Yankees, who were 2 outs away from winning the World Series, and lost.

More embarrassing than the 2004 Yankees... as bad as that was, it was in the Playoffs, something the 2007 Mets cannot say... and the Mets only had to win 1 more game against either the 2007 Washington Nationals or the 2007 Florida Marlins, not exactly the 2003-07 Boston Red Sox.

Why, it's even more embarrassing than the 2006 Mets, who were tied going into the 9th inning of Game 7 of the National League Championship Series... and let Yadier Molina, the 3rd-best Molina brother, hit a Pennant-winning home run, and then, with the tying and Pennant-winning runs on base, Carlos Beltran just stood there with his bat on his shoulder and took a called 3rd strike.

Whether the Mets' 2007 collapse is worse than those of, say, the 1964 Philadelphia Phillies, or the 1978 Red Sox, or the 1987 Toronto Blue Jays, or the 1995 California Angels, or even those of the 1969 Chicago Cubs, the 1973 Pittsburgh Pirates and the 1986 Red Sox, from which the Mets benefited, is debatable.

What is not debatable is that the Mets ended the 2007 season worse than the Yankees have ended any season. And that the Mets still had the chance to "own New York" in 2000, and blew it.

It's not even the very simple math of "26 > 2" anymore. It's "1 > 0." Not "1969 > any Yankee title" or "1986 > 1998," not that either of those was ever true.

So, go ahead, post your cheap laughs. It's your right as an American.

But it is your responsibility as a New York baseball fan to remember: You root for The Other Team. And until your team beats the Yankees in a World Series, they will always be The Other Team.

And until then, you have nothing to say.