Sixteen Bums

There are actually 15 members of a President's Cabinet. But if you count the Vice President, that's 16.

To the tune of "Sixteen Tons," written by Merle Travis, with the best-known version by Tennessee Ernie Ford:

Some… people say Hegseth is a stinking drunk.
His poor policy is made out of junk.
A brain that's soaked, a head full of bone.
A memo leaked, and ideas that are wrong.
 
You see sixteen bums, and what do you get?
The entire makeup of Trump's Cabinet.
St. Peter, don't you call 'em, they're so full of sin.
They owe their souls to Vladimir Putin.
 
Bob… was born on a morning when his dad was at work.
He became the Kennedy who made himself a jerk.
He loaded up his veins with stuff to make anyone squirm
and blames his crazy ideas on a brain full of worm.
 
You see sixteen bums, and what do you get?
The entire makeup of Trump's Cabinet.
St. Peter, don't you call 'em, they're so full of sin.
They owe their souls to Vladimir Putin.
 
Pam… was born in a morning Florida hurricane.
Bribes and Corruption are her middle name.
She was raised in the swamp by a guy who was lyin'
and now a Queens crime lord makes her walk his line.
 
You see sixteen bums, and what do you get?
The entire makeup of Trump's Cabinet.
St. Peter, don't you call 'em, they're so full of sin.
They owe their souls to Vladimir Putin.
 
If… you see them comin', better step aside.
Because of their stupidity, a lot o' men died.
One word of truth, and a hundred of jive.
If the right wing don’t get you, we might just survive.
 
You see sixteen bums, and what do you get?
The entire makeup of Trump's Cabinet.
St. Peter, don't you call 'em, they're so full of sin…
 
They owe their sou-ou-ou-ou-ouls..

to Vladimir Putin.

My Theory About Trump's Whackadoodle Cabinet Picks

Matt Gaetz as Attorney General? Pete Hegseth as Secretary of Defense? Tulsi Gabbard as Director of National Intelligence? Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of Health & Human Services?

Suddenly, Marco Rubio as Secretary of State doesn't sound so bad. Even though it is.

Remember: Nobody in the Trump cult is saying that Gaetz is innocent, they're only saying that he has to be supported, because he's Trump's choice.

Why is it that Republicans never do the thing -- or ask others to do the thing -- that will prove them innocent? Or, at the least, provide reasonable doubt as to their guilt? Why don't they ever act like innocent men?

I have a theory: Trump is appointing so many whackadoodles (if you don't mind me using a technical term) to high office that he figures we'll concentrate so much energy on stopping one of them (most likely, Gaetz) that we won't be able to stop the others.

 

Then, he gets the Attorney General he really wants.

Most likely, this was a Stephen Miller idea, or a Steve Bannon idea, or a Roger Stone idea. Dumb Donald is SO dumb (How dumb IS he?), he couldn't have come up with this on his own.

UPDATE: Gaetz withdrew, and Trump replaced her with Pam Bondi, former Attorney General of Florida, and one of his defense lawyers during his 1st Impeachment Trial. She's white and blonde. She probably reminds him of Ivanka.