June 20, 1945: "Who's On First?"

June 20, 1945, 80 years ago: The film The Naughty Nineties premieres, starring the comedy team of Bud Abbott (left in the photo above) and Lou Costello (right). The plot, centered around trying to regain ownership of an 1890s riverboat/entertainment venue from con artists, is forgettable. What is remembered about this movie is Abbott & Costello's performance of the baseball-themed comedy routine "Who's On First?"

William Alexander Abbott (born on October 2, 1897 in Asbury Park, Monmouth County, New Jersey) and Louis Francis Cristillo (born on March 6, 1906 in Paterson, Passaic County, New Jersey) had both gotten their starts in vaudeville, which had similar routines. There was "The Baker Scene," with a bakery located on Watt Street; and "Who Dyed," with the dye shop's owner being named "Who."

In the 1930 film Cracked Nuts, Bert Wheeler and Robert Woolsey look at a map of a mythical kingdom, where towns have names like that: "What is next to Which." At the same time, in British music halls, comedian Will Hay interviewed a schoolboy named Howe, who came from Ware, but now lives in Wye.

Abbott said that "Who's On First?" came from an older routine called "Who's the Boss?" His wife, Betty Smith, recalled him doing a similar baseball-themed routine with another comedian, before he started working with Costello in 1936. They had done similar routines, one about a racehorse that Abbott owned, which was good as running on muddy tracks: "I'm gonna feed my mudder his fodder." And there was a cow-milking scene:

Abbott: You put the pail under the cow's udder.

Costello: The cow's udder what?

Abbott & Costello first performed the Who's On First? sketch for a national audience on March 24, 1938, on CBS' The Kate Smith Hour. It became a regular routine, and they performed it for President Franklin D. Roosevelt several times. Their 1st film together was One Night in the Tropics, in 1940, and they did a short version of it. But the best-known version, and the first time most people saw it as well as heard it, was in The Naughty Nineties, as follows:

Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names, like Dizzy Dean.

Costello: His brother, Daffy.
Abbott: Daffy Dean.

Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofé.
Abbott: Goofé Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing first!

Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Who's wife?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Abbott: What's wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign...
Abbott: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: All right.
PAUSE
Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Why, you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: No. Who's playing first.
Costello: What's on first?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again!
PAUSE
Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who's playing third base?
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: You don't want who on second?
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott: Who's playing first.
Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first!
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: Oh, he's center field.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Gotta a catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today, and Tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
PAUSE
Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
PAUSE
Abbott: That's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott: Naturally.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's different.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You're not saying it...
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's what I said!
Abbott: You ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third, and I don't care!
Abbott: What?
Costello: I said I don't care!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop!

No right fielder is mentioned in the routine.

This version of the routine is played on TV screens in a continuous loop at the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in Cooperstown, New York. This has given rise to the incorrect perception that Abbott & Costello have been elected to the Hall of Fame.

After doing several films together, including a series of "Abbott & Costello Meet... " movie monsters like the Frankenstein Monster, their films became progressively less popular, and they split up in 1957. Costello died of a heart attack in Los Angeles on March 3, 1959, just before his 53rd birthday. An urban legend says that Abbott was watching the "Who's On First?" routine on television when he got the phone call telling him that Costello had died. Abbott died on April 24, 1974 in the Los Angeles suburb of Woodland Hills, California. He was 76.

The parodies of the routine have been many. Occasionally, it's done with rock groups: The Who, The Guess Who, Yes, The Band, Chicago. A version of this on SCTV featured a final exchange with a character saying, "This is for the birds!" and the other, thinking he'd said, "The Byrds," responding, "Ah, they broke up a long time ago!" More recent versions have included U2 and No Doubt.

The 1980 movie Airplane! had an exchange with pilot Clarence Oveur (Peter Graves), co-pilot Roger Murdock (basketball legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar), and navigator Victor Basta (Frank Ashmore):

• Victor: Request vector, over.
• Clarence: What?
• Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9'er cleared for Vector 324.

Roger: We have clearance, Clarence.

• Clarence: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
• Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
• Clarence: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.

On a 1982 Tonight Show, Johnny Carson played President Ronald Reagan, being briefed for an upcoming press conference by Chief of Staff James Baker, played by Fred Holiday of the group of actors Carson had dubbed "The Mighty Carson Art Players."

Carson, as Reagan, figured he'd get a question about his controversial Secretary of the Interior, James Watt. They were scheduled to go swimming the next day, at the YMCA, or "The Y." He also figured he'd get questions about the Middle East, and he was trying to remember the name of the Palestinian leader: "That Arafat guy." When Baker said, "Yassir," Reagan thought he was saying, "Yes, sir." And then the phone rang, and it was a Chinese leader, with a name made up for the sketch, and Baker said, "Mr. President, Hu is on the phone." This was 20 years before Hu Jintao became the leader of China.