This is a ranking of the teams in Major League Baseball based not on how much I like the team, but on how much I like the product that holds their ballpark's naming rights.
I'm not doing this for the other sports, simply because there are too many of them with companies that I know too little about.
30. Colorado Rockies, Coors Field: I don't like Coors beer. Worse still, the Coors family have long been heavy donors to right-wing extremist causes. To Hell with them and their barley-flavored water.
Note: The first time I tried to type that, it came out "Coors Light is barely-flavored water." I decided not to edit it, because it was still true.
29. Boston Red Sox, Fenway Park: The old yard is named for its section of Boston, The Fenway, or The Fens. Fens are a swampy area. The Meadowlands Sports Complex was built on a former swamp, too, but they didn't keep that in the name. The Red Sox did. And it's one of the less disgusting things about them.
28. Los Angeles Dodgers, Dodger Stadium: The Dodgers no longer represent Brooklyn, or Ebbets Field, or Jackie Robinson. At this point, they no longer even represent Sandy Koufax or Fernando Valenzuela. But the fact that this stadium still stands, on land taken from its residents by the City of Los Angeles, and given to Walter O'Malley, just so he could make more money than he was making in Brooklyn, makes it, and what its name represents, despicable.
27. Pittsburgh Pirates, PNC Park: The city and the ballpark are terrific. Not the name: I have had a lot of difficulty with PNC Bank, and its initials are said to stand for "People Never Count."
26. Oakland Athletics, Oakland Coliseum. After going through a few corporate names, the most-mocked stadium in baseball is once again identified by its city, which, within the last 5 years, has already lost the Warriors to nearby San Francisco, and the Raiders to not-even-close Las Vegas, and may be about to lose the A's to Vegas as well. Maybe that shows that the City of Oakland, and/or the County of Alameda, have better priorities. Or maybe it shows that they can't get their act together.
25. San Diego Padres, Petco Park: I don't have a problem with Petco as a company, but I can't stand the smell of pet stores. It's not the pets, it's the pet food. And the fishtanks smell terrible, too.
24. Milwaukee Brewers, American Family Field: American Family is an insurance company, and I have no familiarity with it. Had they kept their previous name, Miller Park, it would be higher, because Miller Lite is one of the few beers that I actually like.
23. Cincinnati Reds, Great American Ball Park: Great American is an insurance company, and I have no familiarity with it.
22. Cleveland Indians, Progressive Field: Progressive is an insurance company, and I have no familiarity with it, beyond enjoying their TV commercials.
21. Seattle Mariners, T-Mobile Park: I've heard that T-Mobile is rather unreliable. Catherine Zeta-Jones, whom regular readers of this blog know that I love, used to do commercials for them, but that was years ago.
20. Miami Marlins, LoanDepot Park: I've never had any reason to use a mortgage company, but having "loan" in the name makes me suspicious.
19. Chicago White Sox, Guaranteed Rate Field: I've never had any reason to use a mortgage company.
18. Toronto Blue Jays, Rogers Centre: Rogers Communications is a Canadian media corporation, which also has its name on the arenas of the NHL's Vancouver Canucks and Edmonton Oilers, and seems to find nothing confusing in that. None of their networks are available on my cable TV system.
17. Atlanta Braves, Truist Park: I have never had any dealings with Truist Bank, not even one of their ATMs.
16. Detroit Tigers, Comerica Park: See the previous answer. Detroit ranks ahead of Atlanta because I like it better as a city.
15. San Francisco Giants, Oracle Park: As far as I know, I have never had to use Oracle software.
14. Kansas City Royals, Kauffman Stadium: The ballpark is named for the founding owners of the team, pharmaceutical magnate Ewing Kauffman and his wife Muriel. They restored the city's baseball respectability after the Charlie Finley-led Kansas City Athletics years, and I have no reason not to like them, other than that I hated their team in the George Brett years of 1976 to 1985.
13. New York Mets, Citi Field: As banks go, Citi is not well-liked, due to their role in the 2008 economic crash. I've personally never had a problem with them, and have used their ATMs without trouble.
12. Chicago Cubs, Wrigley Field: I haven't chewed any brand of Wrigley's gum in many years, but I have no ill will against the company.
11. Philadelphia Phillies, Citizens Bank Park: As banks go, Citizens is pretty good. My only dealing with them has been through their ATMs, which operate well.
10. Arizona Diamondbacks, Chase Field: As banks go, Chase is among the most trustworthy.
9. Houston Astros, Minute Maid Park: Minute Maid makes good orange juice, but they're owned by Coca-Cola, which I don't like.
Once, the Yankees were playing the Astros, and broadcast John Sterling turned to partner Charley Steiner, and said, "You know Charley, I hear, at Minute Maid Park, the balls are juiced." Steiner didn't miss a beat, or maybe they planned it out beforehand, because he immediately said, "Ah, that's just pulp fiction."
8. Los Angeles Angels, Angel Stadium of Anaheim: Although the Orioles as a team have given me trouble, I have no reason to actively dislike them now.
7. Baltimore Orioles, Oriole Park at Camden Yards: Although the Orioles as a team have given me trouble, the organization has usually been a class act.
6. St. Louis Cardinals, Busch Stadium: Anheuser-Busch is one of the best companies to work for in America. Their give their employees terrific benefits. I don't like Budweiser, or Bud Light, but I do like Michelob.
5. Texas Rangers, Globe Life Field: Globe Life insurance has proven to be trustworthy for my family.
4. Minnesota Twins, Target Field: Target is a good store, especially now that they have Starbucks stands.
3. Washington Nationals, Nationals Park: The Nationals have a class organization that restored baseball to the nation's capital, and they certainly can't be blamed for MLB removing the Expos from Montreal. I will always be grateful to them for 2 reasons, both connected with the 2019 World Series: Their fans booing Donald Trump in Game 5, and beating the cheating Astros in Game 7.
2. Tampa Bay Rays, Tropicana Field: The worst stadium in MLB, but good products. I practically grew up on Tropicana orange juice.
1. New York Yankees, Yankee Stadium: And, of course, Yankee Stadium is also a powerful brand.
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