Monday, January 24, 2022

Top 10 Dumbest Rock Star Deaths

10. October 20, 1977, Gillsburg, Mississippi: Several members of Lynyrd Skynyrd. It wasn't the fault of any of the passengers that a co-pilot hit the wrong switch, causing the fuel to be jettisoned, resulting in the plane crashing because it ran out of gas. That's why I'm putting this one at Number 10.

But they did approve a plane, in this case a propeller-driven Convair 240, that already had a history of trouble. Sadly, 5 years earlier, so did baseball superstar Roberto Clemente.

9. April 5, 1994, Seattle, Washington: Kurt Cobain. And any other rock star who died as a result of drug use after 1971 (as did #5 on this list), and especially after 1982 (as did #1). You should have known.

8. August 25, 2001, Marsh Harbour, The Bahamas: Aaliyah. She got on board a Cessna 402, a propeller-driven plane. In 2001. She was 22, but still should have been aware enough to say, "A propeller-driven plane? Who's piloting this thing, Charles Lindbergh? Oh, hell, no, I ain't getting on that thing!"

Maybe she wasn't that aware. This guy, at his age, should have been:

7. December 31, 1985, DeKalb, Texas: Ricky Nelson. Look at the year: 1985. This was after Buddy Holly in 1959. This was after Patsy Cline in 1963. This was after Jim Reeves in 1964. This was after Otis Redding in 1967. This was even after Lynyrd Skynyrd in 1977. All in propeller-driven planes.

Rick (as he'd preferred to be called since 1961) was 45, so he was old enough to remember all of these. Private jets were available, and known to be safer. Instead, he boarded a DC-3. The plane was built in 1944. The plane was only 4 years younger than he was!

6. December 25, 1954, Houston, Texas: Johnny Ace. Things to do when you're in your first year of music stardom: Enjoy the experience, and try to stay alive, so you can give yourself the best chance of keeping it going. Things to not do: Play with a gun backstage at a show. On Christmas Day. Johnny Ace did that. He was 25.

5. July 3, 1971, Paris, France: Jim Morrison. By every account, his stay in the City of Light with girlfriend/common-law wife Pamela Courson was doing exactly what he hoped it would do: Calm him down, clear his head, let him take in the great culture of one of the world's great cities, and make him happier.

And the lead singer of The Doors knew the damage that was being done. When Jimi Hendrix died, he started asking people, "Do you believe in omens?" When Janis Joplin followed a few days later, he started telling people, "You're drinking with Number 3."

There was no reason for Jim to fulfill his own prophecy. But, apparently, he couldn't stay away from the drugs. And, yes, like Jimi and Janis, he was 27 years old, his death giving the rise to the legend of "The 27 Club."

4. November 11, 1972, Macon, Georgia: Berry Oakley. Only a year earlier, Duane Allman, lead guitarist for The Allman Brothers Band, was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was only 24. Now, Oakley, the band's bass guitarist, rode a motorcycle (not the same one, as is sometimes told) on the same road, Napier Avenue, when he crossed the center line while negotiating a curve, and crashed into a bus.

If riding a motorcycle on a dangerous road, where a close friend had recently been killed while riding a motorcycle, wasn't stupid enough, it gets worse. Oakley initially survived the accident. And refused medical treatment at the hospital. And got a ride home. Three hours later, he was back in the hospital, with cerebral swelling caused by a fractured skull.

The only thing that prevents this from being Number 1 on the list is that doctors determined that getting treatment right after the crash wouldn't have done any good: He was going to die, no matter what. Like Duane, he was 24.

The Allman Brothers Band's biggest hit, "Ramblin' Man," had already been recorded with Oakley, right before his death. Still, it was after Duane died, and Gregg was the only actual Allman brother left in the band.

3. February 3, 1959, Mason City, Iowa: Buddy Holly. Specifically, I'm naming only Holly, and not J.P. Richardson (The Big Bopper) and Ritchie Valens, because Holly talked them into it. I get that he wanted to sleep in a warm bed that night, instead of on a cold bus with a broken heater. And I get that he wanted to get his laundry done. The Winter Dance Party Tour was no cushy rock star procession as would be seen from the 1970s onward.

But he got on a plane, a single-propeller Beechcraft Bonanza, in a snowstorm, with a pilot who was younger than he was. (21 to 22. I wonder if that's where the band name Twenty-One Pilots came from.) This was a dumb decision. The music didn't have to "die" that night.

2. January 20, 2022, Nashville, Tennessee: Meat Loaf. I understand the reluctance about vaccines. Jenny McCarthy was right to ask a question. But once the definitive answer came, she should have accepted it, and so should everyone else.

No, the COVID vaccines aren't 100 percent effective at preventing you from getting COVID. And they aren't 100 percent effective at preventing you from dying of COVID. In each case, they give you a considerably better chance. Ask Stephen A. Smith of ESPN: He says that he got COVID, and that, if the vaccine hadn't given his immune system just that much of a boost, he would have died.

But I guess, if you're not especially bright, and you hang around Donald Trump enough, even though he's taken every precaution, because he wants to avoid death (and, in his case, Hell) at all costs, you tend to believe his lies. Meat, you should have gotten the vaccine. Think of the people who loved you, whom you've now left behind. "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that!"

No, I don't care if you think it's too soon for that joke.

1. March 5, 1982, Los Angeles, California: John Belushi. He had hit songs, as one of The Blues Brothers, so he counts. He was a superstar as a comedian and an actor, but he wanted so badly to be a rock star that he totally embraced the lifestyle, including drugs. Ordinarily a lot more intelligent than he let on, his desire for rock stardom was a blind spot that he couldn't get past. He was 33.
Some people make choices that simply don't work out, and are, ultimately, unlucky. Belushi made a stupid choice, and he paid the price.

We'll never get to see what he would have done later on. Being from the Chicago area, he could have been a key figure in a John Hughes movie. He could have played a colleague doctor who traded zingers with Cliff Huxtable on The Cosby Show. Later on, he could have been Jay Pritchett on Modern Family. He certainly could have given us a better Blues Brothers 2000 than Dan Aykroyd gave us with John's brother Jim Belushi and John Goodman. Hell, he could have been a Jedi in the Star Wars prequels.

Instead, he did something dumber than driving 106 miles to Chicago in the dark wearing sunglasses, and he hit it.

He was born in Chicago on January 24, 1949. Today should have been his 73rd birthday. Instead, we are a few weeks away from the 40th Anniversary of his death.

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