Sunday, March 8, 2020

Yankees a M*A*S*H Unit, Without the Comedy

It's 18 days to Opening Day, and the Yankees look like an episode of M*A*S*H, without the comedy. Here's a list of the current injuries, and when the players can be expected back:

* Miguel Andujar, 3rd base, shoulder: Missed most of last season, but is already back playing Spring Training games, including in left field, in place of Giancarlo Stanton.

* Gary Sanchez, catcher, back: Might be back this week -- or, he might be out beyond Opening Day, March 26.

* Ben Heller, relief pitcher, back: Probably by Opening Day.

* Giancarlo Stanton, left field, calf: Probably not by Opening Day.

* Aaron Judge, right field, ribs: At least April 1, meaning he might be back in time for the home opener, on April 2.

* James Paxton, starting pitcher, shoulder: At least May 1, more likely June 1.

* Domingo German, starting pitcher, domestic violence suspension: Eligible to return on June 5.

* Aaron Hicks, center field, elbow: At least July 1.

* Luis Severino, starting pitcher, elbow: Tommy John surgery, so out for the season. This is a terrible blow.

And none of this is due to the Coronavirus.

In other words, the Yankees' Opening Day lineup (I won't arrange it in batting order) could be as follows:

1B Luke Voit
2B DJ LeMahieu
SS Gleyber Torres
3B Gio Urshela
LF Miguel Andujar
CF Brett Gardner or Mike Tauchman
RF Clint Frazier
DH Gardner or Tauchman, whichever doesn't play CF
C Kyle Higashioka

Does that fill you with confidence? Because it sure as hell doesn't fill me with confidence. Maybe I would have more confidence if Frazier, with the million-dollar bat and the five-cent glove, were the DH. Maybe move Gardner or Tauchman, whichever doesn't play CF, over to RF, and make Frazier the DH.

And, at least through the start of June, the starting rotation is likely to be, in order of effectiveness: Gerrit Cole, Masahiro Tanaka, J.A. Happ, Jordan Montgomery and Jonathan Loaisiga.

For the moment, we won't have to do what we did last year, with Chad Green pitching 2 innings and then praying for the bullpen to hold together. But we're already down 3 starters for the 1st 1/3rd of the season.

As they say on TV medical dramas: I'm not going to lie to you, it doesn't look good.

UPDATE: If we only knew that none of this would be a problem -- and why.

*

Days until the next Primary or Caucus: 2, this Tuesday, the Michigan Primary. Since last I did this, the race for the Democratic nomination for President has gone from Bernie Sanders leading the field, with no clear runner-up, to Joe Biden leading the field, and everybody but Sanders having dropped out and endorsed him. Elizabeth Warren hasn't endorsed anyone yet, but Kamala Harris waited until today, after all the other women (except for the meaningless gadfly Tulsi Gabbard) have dropped out. If Biden wins Michigan, the race is essentially over. If Sanders wins it, he still has a chance.

Days until Arsenal play again: 3, on Wednesday, at 2:30 PM New York time, in Premiere League action, away to Manchester City. Yesterday, they beat East London team West Ham United. They have also advanced to the Quarterfinals of the FA Cup, although they have been eliminated from the UEFA Europa League. So now, their only chance to get into next season's UEFA Champions League is to finish 4th or higher in the Premier League -- or 5th, if Man City's CL ban is upheld, which is by no means a certainty.

Days until the New York Red Bulls play again: 7, a week from today, at 7:00 PM, away to Minnesota United. Yesterday, they had a 1-0 lead away to Real Salt Lake, and then allowed an equalizer in stoppage time. This tie felt not like kissing your sister, but like kissing her best friend. You know, the one with the great personality.

Days until the New Jersey Devils next play a local rival: 13, on Saturday night, March 21, against the New York Islanders, at the Prudential Center. The next game against the Philadelphia Flyers will be on Saturday afternoon, March 28, at the Prudential Center. The Devils are not scheduled to play the New York Rangers, a.k.a. The Scum, for the rest of this regular season, and it is unlikely that the Devils will make the Playoffs and face them there.

Days until the Yankees' 2020 Opening Day: 18, at 1:00 on Thursday, March 26, away to the Baltimore Orioles. Under 3 weeks.

Days until the U.S. national soccer team plays again: 18, at 3:45 PM New York time on March 26, 2020, against the Netherlands, at Philips Stadion in Eindhoven, home of PSV Eindhoven.

Days until the Yankees' 2020 home opener: 25, on Thursday, April 2, against the Toronto Blue Jays.

Days until the Red Bulls next play a "derby": 41, on Saturday, April 18, at 1:00 PM, against the New England Revolution, at Red Bull Arena. On Sunday, April 26, at 3:00 PM, they will play D.C. United, at Audi Field in Washington. On Sunday, May 31, at 3:00 PM, they will play New York City FC, at Yankee Stadium II. And on Saturday, June 6, at 6:00 PM, they will play the Philadelphia Union, at Red Bull Arena.

Days until the next North London Derby: 49, on Sunday, April 26, Arsenal's 1st visit to the new Tottenham Stadium, adjacent to the site of the previous White Hart Lane. Exactly 7 weeks. It is had been moved from the previous day, probably say that nobody would talk about it occurring on the 16th Anniversary of the 2nd time that Arsenal won the League at White Hart Lane -- but also the last time Arsenal won the League anywhere.

Days until the next Yankees-Red Sox series begins: 61, on May 8, 2020, at Yankee Stadium II. Exactly 2 months.

Days until Euro 2020 begins, a tournament being held all over Europe instead of in a single host nation: 96, on Friday, June 12, 2020. A little over 3 months.

Days until the next Summer Olympics begins in Tokyo, Japan: 138, on July 24, 2020. Under 5 months.

Days until East Brunswick High School plays football again: 180, on Friday night, September 4, against arch-rival Old Bridge, at the purple shit pit on Route 9. Under 6 months.

Days until the next East Brunswick-Old Bridge football game: See the previous answer.

Days until Rutgers University plays football again: 181, on Saturday, September 5, at noon, home to Monmouth University, a Football Championship Subdivision School in West Long Branch, Monmouth County, New Jersey. In other words, if they don't win this game overwhelmingly, especially now that Greg Schiano is back as head coach, it will look very, very bad.

Days until the next Presidential election, when we can dump the Trump-Pence regime and elect a real Administration: 240on November 3, 2020. Under 8 months.

Days until the next Rutgers-Penn State football game: 265, on Saturday, November 28, at home. Under 9 months.

Days until a fully-Democratic-controlled Congress can convene, and the Republicans can do nothing about it: 301, on January 3, 2021. Under 10 months.

Days until Liberation Day: 318at noon on January 20, 2021. Under 11 months. Note that this is liberation from the Republican Party, not just from Donald Trump. Having Mike Pence as President wouldn't be better, just differently bad, mixing theocracy with plutocracy, rather than mixing kleptocracy with plutocracy.

Days until Alex Rodriguez and David Ortiz become eligible for the Baseball Hall of Fame: 674, on January 11, 2022. Under 2 years, or a little over 22 months. We will then find out if it's okay for a Red Sox steroid cheat to be in the Hall, but not for a Yankee steroid cheat.

Days until the next Winter Olympics begins in Beijing, China: 698, on February 4, 2022. Under 2 years, or under 23 months.

Days until the next World Cup is scheduled to kick off in Qatar: 988, on November 21, 2022, in Qatar. Under 3 years, or under 33 months.

Days until the next Women's World Cup is scheduled to kick off: As yet unknown, but space on the international women's soccer calendar has been cleared for July 10 to August 20, 2023. So if July 10 is the tournament's starting date, that would be 1,219 days, a little under 3 1/2 years, or a little over 40 months. A host nation is expected to be chosen on March 20. Bids have been put in by Brazil (South America has never hosted), Colombia (ditto), Japan (Asia last hosted in 2007), and a joint bid by Australia and New Zealand (Oceania has never hosted).

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