J.J. Abrams' Bad Reboots

In 2009, film director J.J. Abrams' rebooted Star Trek. In it, he sent a Romulan back in time, and had him kill James T. Kirk's father, making Kirk a kid raised by his mother and a rotten uncle, making Kirk a rotten guy who enjoys breaking rules instead of one who does so only when lives are at stake; and that Romulan also destroys Vulcan, killing Spock's mother.

Abrams' production company is called "Bad Robot." The joke became "Bad Reboot."

What he did in his 2nd film in the series, Star Trek Into Darkness, was also bad, even if you don't consider that he spent 2 years saying the villain wasn't Khan Noonien Singh, and then revealed, ha ha, it is Khan.

Now, Disney owns the Star Wars franchise, having bought it from creator George Lucas, and has given Abrams the keys to the kingdom. Cliché Alert: I've got a bad feeling about this.

Just imagine what else Abrams could do:

In his reboot of Harry Potter, Hogwarts gets blown up in the second movie.

In his reboot of The Wizard of Oz, there's no dream: It's all real, Elvira Gulch is secretly a witch, and kills not only Toto, but the rest of the family, and Dorothy pursues her to Oz for revenge. And is caught fooling around with the Scarecrow by the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion.

In his reboot of The Godfather, both Vito Corleone and his wife are ambushed and die. Sonny loses control, and handles the war badly. Clemenza and Tessio both convince Michael the only way for the family to survive is for him to take over. Fredo doesn't like that, so Michael has to kill him in the 1st movie, too.

In his reboot of Barney Miller, New York City actually does "drop dead" in October 1975, and Barn (this true New York icon played by Boston Ben Affleck) and the boys from The Old One Two have to pick up the pieces. But the best they can do is, with the help of Billy Joel (played by Mark Wahlberg), pick the Yankees up for free.

And in his reboot of Casablanca, Major Strasser kills Ilsa, and Rick joins the Inglorious Basterds.

What I'm trying to say is, If you haven't yet heard the big reveal from Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, I'm warning you to be shocked at nothing.