I wanna throw up -- and I haven't eaten at the Hammarskjold Junior High School cafeteria for 26 years!
Update for "How to Be a Red Sox Fan In New York": Instead of going to New York, go to hell! You'll recognize it, it kind of looks like Charlestown.
To make matters worse, I bought a pack of M&Ms today. More than half of them were blue or orange! Met colors!
Want more sickening stuff? In their first real test this season, Rutgers lost. 17-13. At home. To North Carolina. A team that came in 0-2 and had a bunch of players suspended for "extracurricular activities."
And Arsenal and West Bromwich Albion must've switched uniforms. 3-0 to West Brom before a late comeback made it 3-2, but no closer. And Arsenal have back-to-back games at Belgrade for the Champions League and at Chelsea?
At least Chelsea also lost, in their first real test of the season, to Manchester City. And Tottenham lost, to West Ham United, who came into this 6th League game of the season with exactly zero points. Same old Tottenham, always choking. Instead of "forever blowing bubbles," the Hammers blew off Spurs.
"One team in London! There's only one team in London!" Yeah, except, today, it was West Ham.
At least East Brunswick High won last night, beating J.P. Stevens 35-0. I didn't go. On a scale of 0 to 10, how upset am I that I missed it? Maybe a 3.
The Yankees better slaughter the Sox tomorrow night. And somebody better beat those St. Petersburg pipsqueaks.
What about the Giants and Jets tomorrow? As Daniel Craig said when asked if he wanted his vodka martini shaken or stirred, "Do I look like I give a damn?"
*
Speaking of great British actors, I want to wish a Happy Birthday to the most beautiful woman in the world, Catherine Zeta-Jones.
And also to her husband, Michael. Not me.
I hope he gets well. For her sake. She seems to love the guy.
Which, I guess, proves that nobody, not even she, is perfect.
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Days until I accept that CZJ will never be mine: I still don't know.
Days until the next Yankees-Red Sox series begins: 6, this Friday, at Fenway Park, the last series of the regular season.
Days until East Brunswick High School plays football again: 6, this Friday, at home against Woodbridge.
Days until Rutgers plays football again: 7, Saturday afternoon, home to Tulane. A team that hasn't done much in the last 70 years. Think they can win this one? Gibbs Rule Number 8: "Never take anything for granted!"
Days until the Devils play hockey again: 13, on Friday, October 8, at home at the Prudential Center in Newark, against the Dallas Stars. Under 2 weeks.
Days until Rutgers and Army play the first college football game at the new Meadowlands Stadium: 21. Just 3 weeks.
Days until the Devils play another local rival: 29, on Sunday, October 24, at Madison Square Garden against The Scum. Under a month. Then the Rags come to the Prudential on Friday, November 5. The first game of the season against the Islanders is on Friday, November 26, the day after Thanksgiving, at the Nassau Coliseum, followed the next day by the first game of the season against the defending Eastern Conference Champion Philadelphia Flyers, at The Rock.
Days until the next North London Derby: 56, Saturday, November 20, at New Highbury.
Days until the next East Brunswick-Old Bridge Thanksgiving clash: 60. Just 2 months.
Days until Derek Jeter collects his 3,000th career hit: 236 (estimated).
Days until the Rutgers-Army football game at Yankee Stadium: 412.
Days until the last Nets game in New Jersey: 567 (estimated).
Days until the 2012 Olympics begin in London: 670.
Days until Alex Rodriguez collects his 3,000th career hit: 753 (estimated).
Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 700th career home run: 1,023 (estimated).
Days until Super Bowl XLVIII at the Meadowlands: 1,222.
Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 756th career home run to surpass all-time leader Hank Aaron: 1,686 (estimated).
Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 763rd career home run to become as close to a "real" all-time leader as we are likely to have: 1,710 (estimated).
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