Super Bowl FU

Tomorrow, Super Bowl 53 be played at Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta. The opposing teams will be the New England Patriots and the Los Angeles Rams.

As a Yankee Fan, I cannot root for a New England team. As a New Yorker or, at least,  a native and resident of the New York Tri-State Area, whose grandmother was a fan of the Brooklyn Dodgers, I cannot root for a Los Angeles team.

What to do?

Frank Bruni wrote this in this past Tuesday's edition of The New York Times:

I’m not really sure why they’re bothering with a Super Bowl this year. Sure, a bunch of people will make a boatload of money, tens of millions of us will reflexively tune in and we’ll find rare common ground over how cheesy the halftime show is.

But are we believers anymore? Will we really see the winner as the winner — or just as the charmed survivor of a grossly tarnished process? Be it the New England Patriots or the Los Angeles Rams, the team will have an asterisk after its name. And that asterisk is a big fat sign of the times.

I’m referring, of course, to the miserable officiating that’s arguably the reason the Patriots beat the Kansas City Chiefs and the Rams beat the New Orleans Saints, leading to the matchup in this coming Sunday’s season-finale game...

We’re still reeling from a presidential election that was colored if not corrupted by unfair advantages, undue meddling and disrespected rules, and here we have a Super Bowl that’s colored if not corrupted by unfair advantages, undue meddling and disrespected rules. Many fans are rejecting its legitimacy — sound familiar? There are conspiracy theories afoot.

Americans are so down on, and distrustful of, major institutions and authorities that we’re primed to declare their fraudulence, and the National Football League and the Super Bowl are on the receiving end of that. They’re not fresh targets, not by any stretch. But this time we've lost all sense of perspective...

Maybe the post-truth era has found its post-truth sport.

Indeed, perhaps the Roman numeral is not the lettering that should be used this weekend. Instead of "Super Bowl LIII," it should be called "Super Bowl FU."

Yesterday, the writer for the Twitter account for the Los Angeles public transportation system wrote, "This #SuperBowl weekend, Metro reaffirms our commitment to properly inflated bus tires. #justsaying #SBLIII (Go Rams!)"

Trollin', trollin', trollin'...

I wrote back, "Whatever else can be said about Los Angeles, your dedication to comedy cannot be questioned. Whatever else can be said about Boston, they are too thin-skinned to appreciate the joke."

But... deciding between a New England team and a Los Angeles team?

I can't root for Los Angeles. My Brooklyn fan Grandma would smack me from beyond the grave.

Or... would she? The thing she hated the most in life was unfairness. And what team in all of Western Hemisphere sports has gained more through unfairness than the Patriots? Maybe the Red Sox, but that's it.

Grandma would hold her nose and support the Los Angeles Rams.

Or maybe, rather, she would "support against" the Patriots. The following is an adaptation of what I wrote last year, when it was the Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles, the team that is the Giants' rivals, at least in a geographical sense.

People who watch Italian soccer probably have more than one rival for their favorite team. Because there are certain teams that the entire country of Italy does not like. Juventus, of Turin, is the most successful sports team in the country. Like the Yankees, the Patriots, the pre-2000 Dallas Cowboys, the Los Angeles Lakers, the Detroit Red Wings, Notre Dame in football, and Duke in basketball, they are the most popular team in the country, but even more people hate them than love them. And, as in each of those cases (yes, I am including the Yankees), there is some reason for that hatred.

The 2 teams that call the city of Milan home, AC Milan and Internazionale, or Inter, also have a lot of fans, but are also widely hated throughout the country. Therefore, a fan of any of these 3 teams tends to hate the other 2, not merely having 1 arch-rival.

So with all the cross-rivalry traffic going back and forth and Italy, they have a concept. They call it "gufare." Essentially, it means "supporting against." Therefore, if you are an AC Milan fan, and the Coppa Italia (Italian Cup) Final is between Juve and Inter, you have a decision to make, and, most likely, you won't be rooting for Juve or Inter, but you will be rooting against one of them, whichever one makes your blood boil less.

Therefore, if you choose to side with Inter, thus choosing your hometown of Milan against Juventus, you will say, "I am supporting against Juventus."

Let me show you how much Juventus are hated in Italy. There is a saying: Amo il calcio, quindi odio Il Juve. It means, "I love football, therefore I hate Juventus."

Americans don't think this way. We might say, "I love baseball, and I hate the Yankees," but even the most intense of Mets or Red Sox fans wouldn't say, "I love baseball, therefore I hate the Yankees."

But, maybe, if you love football, you should hate the Patriots. With their cheating, their arrogance, their dismissiveness of the tendency toward bad injuries (including concussions), and their support of Donald Trump, they represent everything that is wrong with professional football today.

So: Go, Rams, go!