Showing posts with label coach. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coach. Show all posts

Friday, January 12, 2024

Top 10 NFL Coaches

Left: The most important coach in NFL history.
Right: The greatest coach in NFL history.

Don't tell me that Bill Belichick, who was fired as head coach of the New England Patriots yesterday, is "the greatest coach in NFL history." He is not. Bill Belichick is a damn cheat. And without his biggest co-conspirator in cheating, Tom Brady, we saw the real Belichick, in Cleveland, 1991-95: 36-44. And in New England after Brady, 2020-23: 29-38.

And so, to everybody calling him the greatest coach in NFL history, I quote a great football coach, though not in American football, who never had to cheat, Brian Clough: "You lads are a bloody disgrace!

Top 10 Greatest NFL Coaches

10. Tom Landry. Dallas Cowboys, 1960-88. His greatest contribution may have come as defensive coordinator for the New York Giants, as he invented the 4-3 defense. As a head coach, he won 13 Division titles, reached 12 NFL or NFC Championship Games, and reached 5 Super Bowls, winning 2. Built not one but two great offenses, and not one but two great defenses. Won a Super Bowl against Shula's Dolphins.

I'd rank him higher, but the Cowboys did get a lot of breaks.

9. Weeb Ewbank. Baltimore Colts, 1954-62. New York Jets, 1963-73. A few coaches have won back-to-back NFL Championships, and he's one. But he's the only one to win titles in both the NFL and the AFL, and beat Shula's Dolphins in Super Bowl III.

8. Joe Gibbs. Washington Redskins, 1981-92, 2004-07. With Daniel Snyder as the team's owner the 2nd time around, he couldn't do much. With Jack Kent Cooke as the owner the 1st time around, he took the team to 4 Super Bowls in 9 seasons. Even more remarkable, and this is something no other coach in NFL history can claim, he won 3 Super Bowls, each with a different quarterback. Won a Super Bowl against Shula's Dolphins and an NFC Championship Game against Landry's Cowboys, and split 2 NFC Championship Games against Walsh's 49ers.

7. Bill Parcells. New York Giants, 1983-90. New England Patriots, 1993-96. New York Jets, 1997-99. Dallas Cowboys, 2003-06. Coaching in New York magnified his personality, and made him seem better than he was. But he turned 3 different franchises from horrible losers into winners.

He led the Giants to 2 Super Bowl wins, he got the Patriots into a Super Bowl and saved them from being moved -- at least out of Massachusetts to Connecticut, and possibly out of New England entirely -- and, in what has got to be his greatest achievement, he got the Jets to within a half of a Super Bowl. (Okay, Walt Michael and Rex Ryan also did that, and Ewbank took them all the way. Still.)

6. Don Shula. Baltimore Colts, 1963-69. Miami Dolphins, 1970-95. He won more games than any other NFL coaches, both if you count only the regular season and if you also count the postseason. He built 4 strong defenses: With the Detroit Lions as an assistant coach, in Baltimore, and in Miami in the early 1970s and again in the early 1980s.

He won 15 Division titles, and reached 7 NFL championship games, including 6 Super Bowls. His record in those games was 2-5, and they included a game he never should have lost, Super Bowl III, to Ewbank's Jets. Also lost one each to Landry's Cowboys, Gibbs' Redskins and Walsh's 49ers. But they also included Super Bowls VII and VIII, and VII finished the only undefeated NFL season since the NFL began having playoffs in 1932.

5. George Halas. Chicago Bears, 1920-29, 1933-42, 1946-55, 1958-67. Most NFL Championships, 8. Okay, he was owner for 8 and general manager for 8, but head coach for "only 6." But he never had to cheat. His 324 wins were the record until Shula. Also, unlike the guy at Number 1, an innovator, as he created the modern passing game.

Of course, his greatest innovations were not on the sideline, but in the boardroom, and not just because he founded the damn league.

4. Bill Walsh. San Francisco 49ers, 1979-88. Took a 2-14 team, and made them Super Bowl winners in 2 years. Built maybe the greatest offense in football history. Won 3 Super Bowls and had the team in place that would win 2 more.

Won a Super Bowl against Shula's Dolphins, an NFC Championship Game against Landry's Cowboys, and a Divisional Playoff against Parcells' Giants. Split 2 NFC Championship Games against Gibbs' Redskins.

3. Chuck Noll. Pittsburgh Steelers, 1969-91. Took the worst team in the NFL -- not just at the time, but historically -- and, in 4 seasons, built them into a team that would reach the Playoffs 8 straight years, winning 7 Division titles, reaching 4 Super Bowls, and winning them all, 2 of them against Landry's Cowboys. His offense was as good as any the NFL has ever seen. His defense was even better than that. Split 2 Playoff meetings with Shula's Dolphins.

2. Paul Brown. Cleveland Browns, 1946-62. Cincinnati Bengals, 1968-90. Also, Ohio State, 1941-43. The 1st man ever to coach both an NCAA and an NFL Champion. Won the title in the All-American Football Conference in all 4 seasons of its existence. Won 3 NFL titles. Reached his league's title game 10 straight seasons.

The greatest offensive genius the sport has ever known. Worth noting that Ewbank, Shula, Noll and Walsh either played for him or were on his coaching staff.

1. Vince Lombardi. Green Bay Packers, 1959-67. Washington Redskins, 1969. In 1958, the Packers were 1-10-1. 1st year: Got them over .500. 2nd year; Division title. 3rd year: NFL Champions. 4th year: NFL Champions. 5th year: Missed Playoffs. 6th year: Missed Playoffs. 7th year: NFL Champions. 8th year: NFL and World Champions. 9th year; NFL and World Champions. To win those 8th and 9th year NFL Championships, had to beat Landry's Cowboys.

Took a year off, a year in which the Redskins were 5-9. 1st year: Got them over .500. Developed cancer and died before his 2nd year with Washington. In what would have been his 4th year, George Allen, a former Halas assistant, got them into the Super Bowl, and came closer than anyone expected to beating Shula's Dolphins.

Top that, Belichick, and do it without cheating. You can't. No one ever has.

Thursday, December 19, 2019

Hayden Fry, 1929-2019

If you watched the situation comedy Coach on ABC from 1989 to 1998, you knew the character of Hayden Fox: A high-strung man's man who happened to be a pretty good football coach, struggling with a changing society that included his highly capable girlfriend, who eventually became his 2nd wife; and his daughter, who attended the university where he coached. He was such an old-school macho man that he infuriated viewers, but he was also such a likable goofball that you couldn't stay mad at him.

The show's creator was Barry Kemp, a graduate of the University of Iowa, whose campus, including its Kinnick Stadium, was used for exterior shots of the fictional Minnesota State University. He named the character of Hayden Fox after the head coach at Iowa at the time, Hayden Fry. But aside from a name and a job, they didn't share much. Hayden Fry was the kind of man that Hayden Fox should have been.

John Hayden Fry Jr. -- he would eventually drop his first name, perhaps to differentiate himself from his father -- was born on February 28, 1929 in Eastland, Texas. He grew up in Odessa, in West Texas, which was too dry to get good farming, and there seemed to be nothing a boy could but play football and hope to get a job in the oil fields.

When Fry was 14, his father died, and he stepped up to be the head of the family, working in the oil field in the Summer, and, in the Autumn, quarterbacking the Odessa High School football team, winning a State Championship in 1946. He went on to Baylor University, and was mostly a backup quarterback, graduating in 1951 with a psychology degree.

He returned to Odessa High, taught history, and served on the football coaching staff. In 1952, with the Korean War raging, he enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps. He led the team at the Quantico, Virginia base to the Corps championship and the Poinsettia Bowl. He was discharged with the rank of Captain in 1955.

He returned to Odessa High, and a year later was named head coach. One of his history students would go on to the Hall of Fame -- not College or Pro Football, but Rock and Roll: Roy Orbison.

He was hired as an assistant coach at Baylor in 1959, and the University of Arkansas in 1961. When Arkansas won the Southwest Conference Championship, another SEC school, Southern Methodist University (SMU) in Dallas, hired him as head coach for 1962.

He got the Mustangs to the Sun Bowl in El Paso in his 1st season. He was then named athletic director, and that gave him the authority to desegregate the team. He found the 1st black SMU player in 1966, Jerry LeVias, making him the 1st black player to receive an athletic scholarship from a Southwest Conference school, in any sport.

The way the schedule worked out, though, it was Fry's alma mater, Baylor, who fielded the 1st black varsity player to take the field in the SWC, John Westbrook. On September 10, 1966, Baylor shocked then-Number 7 Syracuse, 35-12. SMU's season opened a week later, on September 17, and they beat Illinois 26-7, a foreshadowing of Fry's later Big 10 success. On November 19, the same day as the famous 10-10 tie between Notre Dame and Michigan State, LeVias' SMU and Westbrook's Baylor played each other at the Cotton Bowl stadium, and SMU won 24-22.
Fry and LeVias at SMU

Fry got SMU an 8-2 record in 1966, and its 1st SWC title in 18 years, with LeVias making the All-Conference team. They lost the Cotton Bowl to Georgia. In 1968, he won his 1st bowl game, the Bluebonnet Bowl in Houston.

That year, LeVias became a 3-time All-American. He would go on to play for the San Diego Chargers (making the AFL All-Star Game as a rookie in 1969) and the Houston Oilers. At 73, he now works in the Houston Texans' front office, and is a member of the College Football and Texas Sports Halls of Fame.

In 1969, Hayden married Shirley Griffin, and they were together for the rest of their lives. The marriage produced 4 sons: Randy, Zach, Kelly and Adrian; and a daughter, Robin. Shirley bought daughter Jayme and son Bryan from her 1st marriage. Hayden lived to see 4 grandchildren and a great-grandchild.

SMU went on a downturn: From 1969 to 1972, they went 3-7, 5-6, 4-7 and 7-4, and Fry was fired. He finished his SMU tenure 49-66-1. Fry would later say that, due to having the 2nd-smallest enrollment in the SWC, some SMU boosters thought they couldn't compete honestly, and wanted to put up a slush fund to pay players, but Fry wouldn't allow it:

For several years some of SMU’s big contributors had been trying to get me to buy players. They wanted me to use their money to recruit illegally, and I wouldn’t do it. Every time I was approached on the matter I told them absolutely no. I believe they used a new president who wasn’t strong enough to stand up to them to get to me.

The boosters convinced the new administration to fire Fry. But he was right: From 1973 to 1986, under head coaches Dave Smith, Ron Meyer and Bobby Collins, SMU got better through the slush fund. Meyer got them to the 1980 Holiday Bowl, but they got caught and were put on probation, so their 1981 team went 10-1 but were ineligible for the SWC title or a bowl game.

In 1982, his 1st season in charge, Collins got the Mustangs to an 11-0-1 record and a Cotton Bowl win. Maybe the team's recent probation stuck in people's minds, because, despite having a slightly better record, they only finished Number 2 in the polls to 11-1 Penn State, where Joe Paterno was said to be running "a clean program." (Little did we then know.)

From 1982 to 1984, Collins' "Pony Express" went 29-3-1 in regular-season play, also winning an Aloha Bowl and losing a Sun Bowl. But they got caught again, and were put on probation. The NCAA told them that if they got caught again, their program would be suspended: It was being called "the death penalty." Bumper stickers began to be seen around Texas, reading, "Support pro football: Watch the SMU Mustangs."

Collins was 6-5 in both 1985 and 1986, ineligible for bowl games... and SMU got caught yet again. The NCAA showed them they weren't bluffing: The 1987 SMU football season was canceled. During the preparations to restore and clean up the program, SMU decided they couldn't be competitive in 1988, either, so they canceled it themselves.

From 1975 to 1986, at the University of Southern Mississippi and SMU, Collins had a record of 91-44-3 -- but we can guess he probably cheated at USM, just as he did at SMU. He is now 86 years old. In the 33 seasons since the cancellation, he has never held another job in college sports. Nor has he held one in any professional football league. When even the XFL (2001 or 2020) won't hire you, you're radioactive.

SMU alumnus and Green Bay Packer legend Forrest Gregg was brought in to be head coach and athletic director. After going 2-9 in 1989 and 1-10 in 1990 -- 0-16 in SWC play -- he remained as AD and hired Tom Rossley as head coach. They went 1-9 in 1991, got up to 5-6 in 1992, but won just 4 games over the next 3 seasons.

When the SWC collapsed in 1996, with Arkansas having left for the Southeastern Conference, and Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech and Baylor joining the Big 8 to form the Big 12, SMU joined the Western Athletic Conference. Joining the less-rough WAC didn't help much: A 6-5 season in 1997 under new coach Mike Cavan was their only winning season between 1986 and 2009. But in 2008, switching to the even less-competitive Conference USA helped: Starting in 2009, they went 30-23 and went to 4 straight bowl games, winning 3. Under current coach Sonny Dykes, they were 10-3 this year.

On the field, SMU was better off for having fired Hayden Fry. But the price they paid was too high.

*

In 1973, Hayden Fry was hired as head coach and athletic director at North Texas State University, now the University of North Texas. In his 1st season, he got them a share of the Missouri Valley Conference title. They went 10-1 in 1977 and 9-2 in 1978, but weren't invited to a bowl game -- probably because Fry took them out of the MVC in the hope of joining a bigger conference, but none would take them.

In 1979, he was hired as the head coach at the University of Iowa. They hadn't had a winning season in 17 years, but they still filled Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City for every home game. He knew he had a better chance to go to bowl games, and that he wouldn't have to also be the athletic director: That would be Chalmers "Bump" Elliott, a former Michigan star halfback and head coach who was already a friend of his. (By a sad coincidence, Bump died earlier this month, at age 94.)
Fry and Elliott

Iowa had been 2-9 in 1978. In his 1st game, Iowa lost 30-26 to Indiana, which seemed like progress. In his 2nd game, they went to Oklahoma, then ranked Number 3, and were losing only 7-6 midway through the 4th quarter, but fell apart, losing 21-6. Fry said he would "punch any player in the mouth if he was smiling."

They must have listened. The next week, they hosted Number 7 Nebraska, and lost only 24-21. The week after, he got his 1st win, defeating cross-State rival Iowa State 30-14, starting a 3-game winning streak. They finished 5-6, but fell back to 4-7 in 1980.

But Hayden Fry was changing things at Iowa. He wasn't just changing the program, he was changing the culture. Not the fan support: That was already amazing. Rather, he was changing what it was that they were supporting, into something worthy of that support.

He commissioned a new logo for the Hawkeyes, known as the Tigerhawk, designed by Bill Colbert of Cedar Rapids. Since the Pittsburgh Steelers, winners of 4 recent Super Bowls, also wore black and gold, he asked the Steelers for permission to copy their exact uniform design, and got it. He had stickers affixed to the helmets reading "ANF," for "America Needs Farmers" -- agriculture keeping Iowa alive, and the University letting the country know that farming itself had to be kept alive. He had his players walk onto the field holding hands -- seen as sissy by some, but as solidarity by others.
Fry's (and Colbert's) redesigned Iowa uniform

His Baylor degree having been in psychology, Fry knew that jails and psychiatric wards sometimes painted walls pink to relax and pacify the residents, so he had the visiting team's locker room at Kinnick Stadium painted pink. Michigan coach Bo Schembechler was particularly angered by this, and covered the pink walls with paper.

Fry also assembled a great coaching staff, some of whom would later rebuild other programs as head coaches: Bill Snyder at Kansas State, Bob Stoops at Oklahoma, Mike Stoops at Oklahoma, Barry Alvarez at Wisconsin, and the man who ended up succeeding Fry at Iowa, and is still there, Kirk Ferentz. (Bret Bielema would play at Iowa for Fry, and later, Alvarez would make him an assistant at Wisconsin, and Bielema would succeed him there.)

It took until the 3rd season, 1981, for Iowa to have a winning season under Fry. But it was more than that. Up until then, the joke was that the Big Ten Conference (often written as "Big 10") was really "The Big Two and the Little Eight": From 1968 to 1980, of the 13 Big 10 titles, either Ohio State or Michigan won it every year. The only breakthrough came in 1978, when Michigan State tied Michigan for the title, and beat Michigan in Ann Arbor to win what should have been a tiebreaker, except they were already on probation, eligible for the Conference's title but not its Rose Bowl berth.

Today, the University of Iowa vs. the Unviersity of Nebraska is considered a rivalry. The States border each other, and both are in the Big 10. But back then, Nebraska was in the Big 8, and they didn't play each other every year. This was a good thing, since Nebraska had become a dominant team in college football, and Iowa hadn't. In 1980, Nebraska beat Iowa 57-0. But Iowa opened the 1981 season by beating the Cornhuskers, then ranked Number 7, 10-7, a 60-point swing.

Iowa lost their next game, to in-State rival Iowa State, but followed that by beating Number 6 UCLA. The Hawkeyes were on their way, following this with wins over Northwestern and Indiana. On October 17, they went to Number 5 Michigan and didn't score a touchdown -- but beat them, 9-7. Losses to Minnesota and Illinois hurt them, but nobody else seemed to want to win the Big 10, and they beat Purdue, Wisconsin and Michigan State.

The last of these came on November 21, allowing them to tie Ohio State for the title, the 1st time they'd even shared the title since 1960. Since Ohio State had gone to the Rose Bowl more recently, Iowa got the Rose Bowl berth, but lost to the University of Washington.

The 1982 season got off to an 0-2 start, but Iowa rebounded to earn a Peach Bowl berth, and their win over Tennessee was their 1st bowl game win in 23 years. In 1983, they went 9-2 and got to the Gator Bowl, but lost to Florida. An injury plague struck near the end of the 1984 season, causing an 0-2-1 finish, which they followed with a win over Texas in the Freedom Bowl, 55-17. Quarterback Chuck Long engineered an offense that scored the most points the Longhorns had allowed in a single game in 80 years.

Long and the Hawks were just getting warmed up. They began the 1985 season ranked Number 5, and beat Drake (also an Iowa school, in Des Moines) 58-0. They beat Northern Illinois 48-20 and Iowa State 57-3. They had risen to the nation's Number 1 ranking.

It was at this point that ABC broadcaster Keith Jackson -- whose Georgia accent made Iowa's team name sound like "the Huckeyes" -- could have used an expression I heard him use years later: "The social portion of the Big 10 schedule is over. From here on in, it's strictly meat and potatoes."

Fry and his Hawkeyes did not flinch: They beat Michigan State 35-31, and went to Wisconsin and beat them 23-13. On October 19, Number 1 Iowa hosted Number 2 Michigan on CBS, and won 12-10 thanks to 4 field goals by Rob Houghtlin, one on the last play of the game. Since the rest of the Big 10 hates Michigan, everybody else was grateful to the Hawkeyes.

They followed this with a 49-10 win at Northwestern. But then they faltered, losing 22-13 at Number 8 Ohio State. It would be their only regular-season loss: They beat Illinois 59-0, won away to Purdue 27-24, and won the Floyd of Rosedale trophy by beating Minnesota 31-9.

For the 2nd time in 5 years, Hayden Fry had led Iowa to the Big 10 Championship, their 1st outright win since 1958. They went to the Rose Bowl, but lost 45-28 to UCLA. In a very close vote, quarterback Chuck Long finished 2nd for the Heisman Trophy to Auburn running back Bo Jackson. (This matched the aforementioned 1958 season, in which Iowa quarterback Randy Duncan finished 2nd to Army running back Pete Dawkins. No Iowa player has ever won the Heisman.
Chuck Long

Long may have been born in Norman, Oklahoma, seat of one of the greatest college football programs; and he may have grown up in Wheaton, Illinois, hometown of one of the all-time football greats, Illinois and Chicago Bears legend Red Grange; but he turned both Oklahoma and Illinois down for Iowa. He played for the Detroit Lions from 1986 to 1991, except for 1990 with the Los Angeles Rams. He later coached under Fry at Iowa, and under Bob Stoops at Oklahoma, and was San Diego State's head coach from 2006 to 2008. He is now on the staff of the XFL's St. Louis BattleHawks, and is an analyst for the Big Ten Network.

In 1986, Iowa went 8-3, and beat San Diego State in the Holiday Bowl, despite the game being played at SDSU's home field, Jack Murphy Stadium. In 1987, Iowa went 9-3, and returned to the Holiday Bowl, beating Wyoming.

*

In his book Big Ten Country, Bob Wood, a history teacher and Michigan State graduate, wrote of going to a game at each of the Big 10 Conference schools in the 1988 season, which was also Iowa football's 100th Anniversary season. Wood had just published Dodger Dogs to Fenway Franks, his story of going to all 26 Major League Baseball parks in one season, so when he contacted the University press office The night before his Iowa game, he attended an I-Club dinner at which Fry spoke, and told the story of the Stoops family and its connection to Iowa.

Ron Stoops was the head coach at Cardinal Mooney High School in Youngstown, Ohio. He and his wife Evelyn, a.k.a. Dee Dee, had 4 sons, all of whom played football for him: Ron Jr., Bob, Mike and Mark. Ron Sr. was impressed by Fry, and all 4 of his sons went to Iowa to play. All 4 wore the same number, 41. Every weekend, Ron Sr. would coach Mooney on a Friday night, then packed and drove all night to see his son(s) play for Iowa. And all 4 sons went into coaching.

Earlier in that 1988 season, Ron Sr. and Ron Jr. were coaching against each other. Mooney won in overtime. It must have been too much for the old man, because he had a heart attack and died. At the funeral, someone walked in with an Iowa jersey, Number 41. The sons propped their father up in his coffin, and put the jersey on him. Bob had 2 Big 10 Championship rings, and put one on his father's finger. Dee Dee leaned over to her husband and said, "Now, you'll always be warm."

Fry concluded the story by telling the I-Club, "I told you this because I wanted you to know there are a lot of people out there who love Iowa football." According to Wood, Fry's story got a standing ovation, Fry stayed to shake hands, and was the last one out the door.

It was a weird season for Iowa, as they finished with 6 wins, 4 losses and 3 ties, their only Conference loss a 45-34 shootout at Indiana. Their other 2 regular-season losses, to Hawaii and Colorado, were each by a field goal. As in 1985, they had a nationally televised showdown with Michigan in Iowa City in mid-October, and it ended 17-17. It was the only blot on Michigan's Conference record, so, had Iowa gotten so much as 1 more field goal in that game, they would have won the Big 10 again. They ended up losing the Peach Bowl to North Carolina State.

They were just 5-6 in 1989, but won 7 of their 1st 8 in 1990, with only a non-conference loss away to then-Number 10 Miami disturbing their record. They beat both Michigan teams and Illinois away. Then they lost at home to Ohio State. On the final day, Michigan beat Ohio State, clinching at least a share of the Big 10 title for Iowa, but they lost away to arch-rival Minnesota, 31-24, forcing a rare 4-way tie for the title between Iowa, Michigan, Michigan State and Illinois. Iowa had the tiebreakers to get the Rose Bowl berth, and trailed Washington 33-8 at the half before a comeback fell short, 46-34. Fry had now gotten them 3 Big 10 titles in 10 seasons, but they'd lost the Rose Bowl every time.

They should have won the whole thing in 1991, but a home loss to Michigan cost them the Big 10 title. They were 10-1 before finishing with a tie against Brigham Young in the Holiday Bowl. By this point, Fry was becoming a victim of his own success, as his assistants began to get better offers, head coaching jobs, and assistants' jobs at bigger schools. Iowa finished only 5-7 in 1992, and started 1993 only 2-5 before making it 6-5, getting them into the Alamo Bowl, where they lost to the University of California.

Ironically, 1993 was the year on Coach when Hayden Fox got his Minnesota State team into a de facto National Championship Game. Before the show's writers knew where Iowa, Kemp's alma mater, would play their bowl game, or even if they would get into one, they wrote Minnesota State's destination as the Pioneer Bowl -- at the Alamodome in San Antonio.

(The writers, Judd Pillot and John Peaslee, eventually wrote 4 bowl games for Fox's Screaming Eagles, all starting with P like their own names: The 1991 Pineapple Bowl in Honolulu, which Minnesota State won over equally fictional South Texas; the 1992 Patriot Bowl in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, which they lost to Iowa 71-7 in a blizzard following a flu outbreak; the 1993 Pioneer Bowl in San Antonio, which they won over fictional West Texas to win the National Championship, which Florida State won in real life that season; and the 1994 Popcorn Bowl in Los Angeles, which they lost to a real school, but I've forgotten which one.)

Iowa finished 5-5-1 in 1994, and, as Fry was now 65, people began to wonder if the end was near. Not just yet: In 1995, they went 704 and then won the Sun Bowl in El Paso, in Fry's native Texas, beating Washington, who had beaten him in 2 of his Rose Bowls. They went 8-3 in 1996, and went back to the Alamo Bowl, beating Texas Tech 27-0.

Now, the opposite feeling took hold, that Fry might coach and win at Iowa indefinitely. But this also turned out to be untrue. They went 7-4, losing by 4 points away to Michigan, by 3 away 2 Wisconsin (the Badgers' 1st win ever over Fry), and by 1 away to a resurgent Northwestern. (Only a 23-7 loss away to Number 7 Ohio State was a bad one.) They lost the Sun Bowl to Arizona State.

In 1998, Fry developed prostate cancer. His mind, fairly, was not fully on his work, and he finished 3-8, including his 1st loss to Iowa State in 15 years. On November 21, he lost to Minnesota 49-7 at the Metrodome, and announced his retirement the next day, after 20 seasons in Iowa City. Assistant coach Kirk Ferentz succeeded him, and has now surpassed him as Iowa's longest-lasting and winningest coach.

Fry outlasted the TV show Coach, which was canceled in 1997. However, the fictional Hayden Fox had done something that the real Hayden Fry had not done: He had gotten an NFL head coaching job, with a fictional expansion team, the Orlando Breakers. After an awful 1st season at 1-15, Fox got them into the Playoffs in 1996, but, mirroring Minnesota State's flu-and-snow-aided Patriot Bowl beatdown, the team came down with food poisoning and lost badly to the Buffalo Bills. Fox then retired, while Fry coached 2 more seasons.

Fry was 143-89-6 at Iowa, including 96-61-5 in Big 10 play; and 232-178-10 overall, in 37 consecutive seasons as a head coach. He won 3 Conference Championships, and coached in 17 bowl games, winning 7 of them. In 2003, he was elected to the College Football Hall of Fame -- along with Jerry LeVias, whom he'd made the 1st black scholarship athlete in the Southwest Conference.

In 2009, First Avenue in Coralville, Iowa, which leads from Interstate 80 to the University of Iowa campus, was renamed Hayden Fry Way. A state of him was erected along the street.
At his statue's dedication

But his cancer returned, and on December 17, 2019, Hayden Fry died at age 90. He was successful, and, as football people in his native Texas found out -- to the dismay of some of them -- he was incorruptible. He turned Iowa football from a native institution but a regional, never mind national, afterthought into something admired from coast to coast.

As was he.

Thursday, February 28, 2019

How to Go to a Minnesota State Football Game

"Coach here!"
(How Hayden always answered his phone.)

February 28, 1929, 90 years ago: John Hayden Fry is born in Eastland, Texas. Dropping his first name, Hayden Fry was a quarterback at Baylor University in nearby Waco, then served in the U.S. Marine Corps, during and after the Korean War, playing on its football team.

He coached high school ball in Texas, then returned to Baylor as an assistant coach, then at the University of Arkansas. In 1962, he got his 1st head coaching job, at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. He led them to the 1966 Southwest Conference Championship. In 1973, after being fired at SMU, he was hired at North Texas State University, and won that season's Missouri Valley Conference Championship.

In 1979, the University of Iowa hired him away, and he led them to the Big Ten Conference Championship in 1981 (winning national Coach of the Year), 1985 and 1990. He retired after the 1998 season, with a record of 232-178-10.
Hayden Fry

He was elected to the College Football Hall of Fame, and a statue of him stands outside Kinnick Stadium at Iowa. His "coaching tree" includes his Iowa successor Kirk Ferentz, Wisconsin coaches Barry Alvare and Bret Bielema, Bill Snyder at Kansas State, and the Stoops brothers, Bob of Oklahoma, Mark of Kentucky and Mike of Arizona.

Hayden Fry is still alive. But his most noticeable legacy -- though certainly not his most important one -- was a fictional character named for him, debuting on his 60th birthday.

*

February 28, 1989, 30 years ago: Coach premieres on ABC. In this situation comedy, Craig T. Nelson plays Hayden Fox, head football coach at Minnesota State University, whose teams are called the Screaming Eagles. He tries to balance his work life and his family life. Until then, Nelson was best known as Steven Freeling, the father in the Poltergeist movies.

At the time the show began, Hayden was trying to lead Minnesota State out of a long period of losing, helped by his defensive coordinator, Luther Van Dam, played by Jerry Van Dyke. Jerry had previously been known as the star of the much-maligned 1965-66 sitcom My Mother the Car. (His more famous brother Dick would eventually play a cameo role on an episode of Coach.)

The backstory: In 1968, Luther had been defensive coordinator at Chattanooga University in Tennessee, when Hayden, from Spokane, Washington, was a senior. Hayden wasn't good enough to play in the pros, but Luther convinced the head coach, Jake "the Snake" Connelly, to put him on the staff as a graduate assistant. (Robert Prosky would later play Connelly, as his new team, South Texas, played Hayden's Minnesota State in a bowl game.)

After Connelly "taught me everything I know," including sneaky stuff, Hayden became the head coach at Chattanooga, and made them one of the top teams in NCAA Division I-AA. In 1984, he was hired at Minnesota State. One of his players was Michael Dybinski, a.k.a. Dauber, played by Bill Fagerbakke, who made up for not being very bright by being enthusiastic and talented, and rose to become Hayden's special teams coach.

Among the people Hayden had to deal with at MSU were the athletic director, Howard Burleigh, played by Kenneth Kimmins; Howard's wife and the team's lead tutor, Shirley Burleigh, played by Georgia Engel; band director Riley Pringle, played by Raye Birk; and women's basketball coach (and Dauber's girlfriend for a time) Judy Watkins, played by Pam Stone, a standup comedian.

All the while, Hayden was coming to the realization that he had to be a better person. He had been married to Beth, played by Lenore Kasdorf, but the marriage failed because Hayden had focused on football first and his family second (if that). But in the show's pilot episode, their daughter Kelly, played by Clare Carey, decided to enroll at Minnesota State, and moves in with him in his lakeside log cabin.

While this is going on, Hayden has been dating Christine Armstrong, a Minneapolis news anchor, played by Shelley Fabares. Their romance was paralleled by Kelly's with a fellow drama student, Stuart Rosebrock, played by Kris Kamm. By the time Hayden and Christine finally got married in late 1992, Kelly and Stuart had already been married and divorced, as Kelly followed her mother's path: As her husband's career skyrocketed, he neglected his wife.

Slowly, but surely, Hayden got both his career and his personal life together. In 1991, he led Minnesota State to an 11-1 record, including beating South Texas in the Pineapple Bowl in Honolulu. The 1992 season was a bit of a disappointment, as they got slaughtered by Iowa in the Patriot Bowl in blizzard-stricken Valley Forge, Pennsylvania. Finally, in 1993, Hayden led the Screaming Eagles to an undefeated season, beating West Texas in the Pioneer Bowl in San Antonio, taking the National Championship. (In real life, Florida State won the National Championship that season.)

He and Christine went to New York to accept a Coach of the Year award, and saw Kelly rebuilding her life as an advertising agent. In one of the funniest lines in TV history, she told him that her company was pitching a brand of bottled water, and her boss figured Hayden was an "average American," so he asked, "What would make you buy this bottle?" Hayden was honest: "Put beer in it."
Left to right: Clare Carey, Bill Fagerbakke,
Craig T. Nelson, Jerry Van Dyke, Shelley Fabares

But the 1994 season was a step back, as he began to do things less to make his team win, and more to make himself a more attractive prospect for NFL teams looking for a good replacement for their head coach. Minnesota State ended up going to the Popcorn Bowl in Los Angeles, sponsored by the movie industry, but he had fired his agent, who had turned the season into a circus, and he coached the game with only his team in mind, not himself or his future job prospects. They lost, but he told Christine that it was the only game he had enjoyed all season.

The 1995 season was an expansion year for the NFL, admitting the Carolina Panthers and the Jacksonville Jaguars in real life. On the show, the Orlando Breakers stood in place of the Jags, and Katherine Helmond played Doris Sherman, their owner, who hired Hayden. ABC had moved filming of the show to their new studio in Orlando, so location shots were used.

Hayden's 1st NFL season was rough: The Breakers lost their 1st 15 games in 1995, before shocking the Dallas Cowboys on Monday Night Football on Christmas. (In real life, the Arizona Cardinals played the Cowboys on that broadcast, and lost.) But in 1996, just as the real-life Panthers and Jags rebounded from difficult premiere seasons, Hayden got the Breakers into the Playoffs.

But it just wasn't as much fun as he thought it would be. Christine wanted a child, and Fabares had turned 50, so it's reasonable to presume that Christine wasn't appreciably younger. In the end, they decided to adopt. One fan wrote to a newspaper, suggesting that their son be named "Owen," so it would sound like "0 and 16." But another fan suggested Timothy David -- "T.D.," as in "touchdown" -- and that's what they chose.

So Hayden decided that he could no longer balance family and football, and, in the show's last episode, airing on May 14, 1997, he resigned as Breakers coach, and took his family back to the famed Minnesota lakefront cabin. The show had run for 9 seasons. (Well, 8 1/2.)
A recent photo of Craig T. Nelson

In addition to the preceding, notable guest stars included Drew Carey and Kathy Kinney (as their Drew Carey Show characters Drew Carey and Mimi Bobek), football star turned radio talk show host Mike Golic as one of Hayden's former players, and basketball star Vlade Divac as a deliveryman, to highlight a sequence in which Luther was afraid that people were getting bigger.

Also: Nanette Fabray (Fabrares' real-life aunt) as Christine's mother, Mike Farrell (Fabares' real-life husband) in a brief role, the aforementioned Dick Van Dyke in a brief role, and Noah Nelson (Craig's real-life son) as the biological father of his newborn stand-in, T.D. And such stars, old and relatively new, as the aforementioned Robert Prosky, Alan Young, Dick Martin, Tom Poston, Robin Strasser, Andrea Parker, Rob Schneider, Lisa Kudrow, Lucy Liu and Terrence Howard.

Playing themselves were football legends Frank Gifford (and his wife Kathie Lee), Johnny Unitas, Mike Ditka, Dick Butkus, Bubba Smith, Hank Stram, Bob Griese, George Allen, Barry Switzer, Joe Theismann, Lou Holtz, Jimmy Johnson, Jerry Jones, Troy Aikman, Keyshawn Johnson and Eddie George; sportscasting legends Keith Jackson and Al Michaels; basketball legend and sportscaster Rick Barry, actor Kirk Douglas, singer Bobby Vinton, and Entertainment Tonight host Mary Hart.

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Coach was created by Barry Kemp, who also created Newhart, Bob Newhart's 1980s CBS sitcom, which is probably how he got Tom Poston to appear as jeweler and dentist Art Hibke. The other 2 guys behind the show were John Peaslee and Judd Pillot -- which makes me think that they were the reasons why all 4 bowl games we saw the Screaming Eagles go to started with P: Pineapple, Patriot, Pioneer and Popcorn.

Kemp was a graduate of the University of Iowa, coached from 1979 to 1998 (including 3 Big Ten Conference Championships) by Hayden Fry, for whom Hayden Fox was obviously named. Fox was not, however, made to look like Fry.

Since the show was set at fictional Minnesota State, Camp wanted to use location shots and game footage from the University of Minnesota, but UM wouldn't let him. So, he went to the publicity people at Iowa, and they said yes. This may have been due to Kemp's connection with the school, or it may have had something to do with the fact that Iowa and Minnesota are big rivals in the Big Ten.

In the meantime, whenever game footage was needed, Kemp went into the ABC Sports vault, and used footage of Minnesota playing one of their other big rivals, the University of Wisconsin. That's why nearly every moment of Minnesota state footage shows the maroon and gold of the Minnesota Golden Gophers against the white uniforms with red trim of the Wisconsin Badgers. The colors actually used for Minnesota State were purple and gold, like the Los Angeles Lakers. Who started out as the Minneapolis Lakers.

When an exterior shot of the stadium was needed, it was Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City. And the building used for exterior shots of the athletic complex that included Hayden's office was the Iowa Memorial Union. But in a bit of irony, Iowa's other main rival, Iowa State, won the right to have its marching band play the show's theme song, essentially Minnesota State's fight song.

At the time, there was no real life school called Minnesota State University. But in 1998, the State legislature renamed Mankato State University "Minnesota State University, Mankato." In 2000, the legislature renamed Moorhead State University "Minnesota State University, Moorhead." Both schools are now in NCAA Division II.
Blakeslee Stadium, the 7,500-seat football field
of the real Minnesota State University, Mankato

While no precise location was given for the show's MSU, it was said to be an hour's drive from downtown Minneapolis. Mankato is about 80 miles southwest, so that's an hour and a half if you're lucky. St. Cloud is about 65 miles northwest, which could, conceivably, be done in an hour.

Of course, it was all fiction. But what if it was real? What if you could go to a Minnesota State Screaming Eagles game?

The following is based partly on things said in the show, and partly on speculation on what's happened in the 22 years since the show left the air.

*

Before You Go. It's Minnesota. It's going to be Autumn. It's going to be cool in September and cold thereafter. Wear warm clothing.

Minnesota is in the Central Time Zone, an hour behind New York. Adjust accordingly.

Tickets. It's never been officially said whether Minnesota State is in a league -- there were a lot more independents then, and their opponents were apparently all over the map -- but, if they're not a Big Ten school, then we can imagine them being a Big Ten type.

So we're looking at a stadium of around 70,000 to 80,000, selling well even in bad seasons. And ticket prices probably around $75 in the lower level, and $60 in the upper deck, and $40 in the end zone.
A T-shirt ordered by ABC to promote the show

Getting There. Since we don't know precisely where in Minnesota the school is, we'll have to make some slightly educated guesses. We know it's about an hour's drive from Minneapolis. So, if we're flying in, it's to Minneapolis, and then hoping we can rent a car the rest of the way.

Flying from Newark to Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport can be done, nonstop and round-trip, for as little as $800. When you get there, the Number 55 light rail takes you from the airport to downtown in under an hour, so at least that is convenient.

Bus? Not a good idea. Greyhound runs 3 buses a day between Port Authority and Minneapolis, all with at least one transfer, in Chicago and possibly elsewhere as well. The total time, depending on the number of stops, is between 26 and 31 hours, and costs $608 round-trip, but can drop to $384 with advanced purchase. The Greyhound terminal is at 950 Hawthorne Avenue, at 9th Street North, just 3 blocks from Nicollet Mall, 2 from the Target Center arena, and from there just across the 7th Street overpass over Interstate 394 from Target Field.

Train? An even worse idea. Amtrak will make you leave Penn Station on the Lake Shore Limited at 3:40 PM Eastern Time, arrive at Union Station in Chicago at 9:50 AM Central Time, and then the Empire Builder, their Chicago-to-Seattle run, will leave at 2:15 PM and arrive at Union Depot in St. Paul (not Minneapolis) at 10:03 PM. And it's $382 round-trip. And you'd have to spent not one but two nights in a hotel.

If you decide to drive, it's far enough that it will help to get someone to go with you and split the duties, and to trade off driving and sleeping. You'll need to get into New Jersey, and take Interstate 80 West. You'll be on I-80 for the vast majority of the trip, through New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Ohio. In Ohio, in the western suburbs of Cleveland, I-80 will merge with Interstate 90. From this point onward, you won't need to think about I-80 until you head home; I-90 is now the key, through the rest of Ohio and Indiana.

Just outside Chicago, I-80 will split off from I-90, which you will keep, until it merges with Interstate 94. For the moment, though, you will ignore I-94. Stay on I-90 through Illinois, until reaching Madison, Wisconsin, where you will once again merge with I-94. Now, I-94 is what you want, taking it into Minnesota and the Twin Cities, with Exit 242D being your exit for downtown St. Paul, and Exit 233A for downtown Minneapolis.

If you do it right, you should spend about an hour and a half in New Jersey, 5 hours and 15 minutes in Pennsylvania, 4 hours in Ohio, 2 and a half hours in Indiana, an hour and a half in Illinois, 2 and a half hours in Wisconsin, and half an hour in Minnesota. That's 17 hours and 45 minutes. Counting rest stops, preferably halfway through Pennsylvania and just after you enter both Ohio and Indiana, outside Chicago and halfway across Wisconsin, and accounting for traffic in New York, the Chicago suburbs and the Twin Cities, it should be no more than 23 hours, which would save you time on both Greyhound and Amtrak, if not on flying.

And, again, all that is just to get to downtown Minneapolis, and we don't know exactly where Minnesota State was supposed to be on the show.
Downtown Minneapolis

Once In the City. Not knowing where Minnesota State was supposed to be makes this one hard as well. As a whole, Minnesota has about 5.7 million people: About 83 percent white, 6 percent black, 5 percent Hispanic, 5 percent Asian, and 1 percent Native American.

The average population of the 14 "Big Ten" schools' cities is 178,641, but that is skewed by Columbus, Ohio having 879,170, and Minneapolis having 422,331. It's also thrown off by Ann Arbor, Michigan being part of the large Detroit metropolitan area; Evanston, Illinois being next-door to Chicago; College Park, Maryland being inside Washington, D.C.'s Capital Beltway; and Rutgers' New Brunswick, New Jersey being between New York and Philadelphia.

But if we take Columbus and Minneapolis out of the equation, the average drops to 99,956. So if we presume that Minnesota State is in a fictional city, within an hour's drive of Minneapolis as stated on the show, it probably has about 100,000 permanent residents, not counting students living there.

The sales tax in the State of Minnesota is 6.875 percent. Bus and Light Rail service in Minneapolis is $2.25 per ride during rush hours, $1.75 otherwise. It is reasonable to presume that bus service in Minnesota State's city is around the same.

ZIP Codes in Minnesota start with the digits 54 and 55. The Area Codes are 612 for Minneapolis, 507 for its suburbs, and 651 for St. Paul. Interstates 494 and 694 are the Twin Cities' "beltway." Xcel Energy supplies electricity, and CenterPoint Energy supplies gas.

We don't know of any (fictional) famous people who gradated from Minnesota State. Even the main characters, Kelly and Dauber aside, seem to have graduated from other schools.

I looked for a photo of Hayden's lakeside log cabin, but it doesn't seem to be available online.

Going In. On a 1989 episode, Hayden is interviewed by Keith Jackson, ABC's great college football announcer. Jackson refers to Minnesota State's football venue as "Blenheim Stadium."

Blenheim is the English name of Blindheim, a German city that was the site of a battle in the War of the Spanish Succession in 1704. The winning commander was the Duke of Marlborough, whose real name was John Churchill. He established a country home in Oxfordshire, England as Blenheim Palace. His descendant, Winston Churchill, was born there in 1874, and later became Britain's most honored Prime Minister.

So why did Kemp, Pillot, Peaslee, or whoever it was name Minnesota State's stadium after Blenheim? It may have just been a throwaway line, sounding good, like it might have been the name of an early coach at the school. Or maybe, given the Upper Midwest's large population of German ancestry (as well as Scandinavian, hence Minnesota's NFL team is called the Vikings), they wanted a German-sounding, but also English-sounding, name. Hence, "Blenheim" instead of "Blindheim."
Iowa's Kinnick Stadium, used on the show for exterior shots
of Minnesota State's Blenheim Stadium

The average of the official seating capacities of Big Ten stadiums is 71,519 -- slightly over Iowa's 70,585. The average date of construction for a Big Ten stadium is 1942, but that's skewed by the building of Rutgers' HighPoint.com Stadium in 1994 and TCF Bank Stadium in Minnesota in 2009. Replace those with their precedessors -- Rutgers Stadium in 1938 and Memorial Stadium in in 1924 -- and you get an average opening year of 1932.

Since few major building projects would have been undertaken at the depth of the Great Depression, let's say, 1929. So both the capacity and the age of Blenheim Stadium would match its visual model, Kinnick Stadium.

Most football stadiums have fields that are aligned north-to-south, so that the Sun isn't in the players' eyes at any time. Only 4 out of 14 schools in the Big Ten still have natural grass, and when the show debuted in 1989, it was worse: Only 1 out of 10 had the real thing, Purdue. Some switched back to grass, but most of them, including Michigan and Ohio State, switched back to turf, albeit a better kind than the rock-hard AstroTurf carpets of the 1960s and '70s. So it is reasonable to presume that Blenheim Stadium then has AstroTurf, and now has FieldTurf or something similar.

As with most colleges with a Division I football program, the campus is probably a mile or two from downtown, with a campus bus system that includes a stop at the stadium. Parking at such stadiums is usually around $20 or $25. This being Big Ten Country, if not necessarily a Big Ten school, tailgate parties are probably all over the lots.

Given that there's an NFL stadium in Minnesota, Blenheim Stadium probably doesn't host the State high school championships. Given that stadium, and major arenas in both Minneapolis (the NBA Timberwolves' Target Center) and St. Paul (the NHL Wild's Xcel Energy Center), it's highly unlikely that the stadium hosts major concerts.

But if it is over an hour from downtown Minneapolis, it's possible that Minnesota State's basketball arena hosts the occasional concert. Perhaps not the Beatles in the mid-1960s, but maybe Elvis Presley in the 1970s.

Food. There's probably a few concession stands under the stands on both sidelines, and possibly a food court under the stands at each end zone.

Team History Displays. There's no way to know about this. Until Hayden led the Screaming Eagles to the (fictional) 1993 National Championship, there was never a mention of any title of any kind won by the school. We don't even know for sure if Minnesota State was in a conference. Until Hayden led them to victory in the 1991 Pineapple Bowl, the only clue we have as to their bowl game history is that this trip to Honolulu was their 1st bowl game under Hayden's tenure.

Nor was there any mention of a retired uniform number for any player, or a statue for an old coach, although there was a Curly O'Brien Award, given out by the local media to a figure at the school who'd done good things during the year, named for a former Minnesota State coach. Hayden received it one year, but noted that Curly got fired after a losing season. This implies, but doesn't necessarily mean, that Curly was Hayden's immediate predecessor at MSU.

So let's speculate. Let's presume that Minnesota State is in the Big Ten -- and that, perhaps, they took the place of Northwestern, a small private school that doesn't really fit the profile of those big State schools.

On 15 occasions, the Big Ten football title has been won by a team with more than 1 loss in Conference play -- either 2 or more losses, or a loss and a tie, or no losses but 2 or more ties. One of those was in 1993, when we know Minnesota State was an undefeated National Champion. Two others were in 1990 and 1992, when it was not said onscreen that Minnesota State were Conference Champions. Another was in 1984, but that's when Hayden was hired: We are led to believe that Minnesota State was in a long period of losing when Hayden arrived.

That leaves 11 seasons, 6 titles that were won, or shared, by the 2 teams that have dominated the Big Ten, Michigan or Ohio State (or both). This includes 1933, shared by Michigan and Minnesota; 1981, shared by Ohio State and Iowa; and 2000, shared by Michigan, Northwestern and Purdue. I don't want to take any titles away from any team other than the Wolverines and the Buckeyes.

So now, we're down to 3 Big Ten Conference Championships won by Minnesota State: 1949, 1950 and 1993. Maybe that's less than fair. But we have nothing else to go on. And we have no idea how well the Screaming Eagles have done since Hayden left. Hell, we don't even know if Hayden is still alive. Nelson is, but that doesn't mean his character is. Although he did seem to be in good shape for his age. (He once asked Christine to go skinny-dipping in the swim team's pool: "Christine, I'm not ashamed of my body, and I'm very proud of yours!")

As for retired numbers, maybe Minnesota State lost one of its football greats in World War II. Maybe their star running back from 1949 and 1950 had his number retired. Maybe Bo Whitley, the quarterback who launched Minnesota State's best recent era in the early 1990s, got his Number 14 retired. And maybe whoever succeeded him as their big star, on the 1993 National Champions, got his number retired.

On one episode, Luther asked Hayden why they don't play on Thanksgiving Day. Hayden says it's because Minnesota State doesn't have an arch-rival. That's ridiculous. Surely, the real-life University of Minnesota is a rival.

Maybe, just as Minnesota has a rivalry with Iowa, Minnesota State could have a rivalry with Iowa State. Minnesota has a rivalry with Wisconsin. There's no Wisconsin State University in real life, but maybe there is in the show's world, so maybe that's the Screaming Eagles' big rival. But no such rivalry was mentioned in the script, so I can't tell you their record against such a school, or mention the weird trophy they might play for (The Old Block of Cheese?), or mention any legendary games in their series. 

There may be an equivalent to Billy Cannon's Halloween Run, or "Punt, 'Bama, Punt," or "The Choke at Doak," There may be "The Kick," or "The Catch," or "The Fumble." But we just don't know. There was Hayden keeping Whitley hidden with a fake injury during the 1991 Pineapple Bowl, and "The Interception" in the 1993 Pioneer Bowl once Luther finally told Hayden how West Texas was tipping their plays. But that's all we've got.

Stuff. Given the university's stinginess on facilities, there almost certainly isn't a big team store inside the stadium. So if Minnesota State actually existed, you might have to go to little stands inside the stadium, or to the University Bookstore, to get souvenirs. There are Coach-themed items available for sale on Amazon.com.

During the Game. If Minnesota State fans are anything like Twins, Timberwolves, Wild or Golden Gophers fans, your safety will not be an issue. If they're anything like Vikings fans, the danger will be slightly higher, but almost certainly nothing to worry about, unless you express appreciation for the Green Bay Packers.

A running gag on the show was that nobody, not even Hayden, knows more than the first two lines of the fight song: "When the Screaming Eagles fight, they fight with all their might, da da da dah da da da dah... " Something tells me that even that much may not be correct.

After the Game. Several scenes from the show were filmed on a studio's soundstage, set up as The Touchdown Club. This would presumably be the most popular go-to place for fans after the game. But, as with most college towns, there are probably chain restaurants within a 10-minute walk of the stadium.

Sidelights. Since we don't know anything about the city that Minnesota State is in, we can guess that there may be historic sites, museums (possibly university-sponsored), or other tourist attractions. But we can only guess.

This is Minnesota. The locals will be Twins, Vikings, Timberwolves, Wild, and (in soccer) Minnesota United fans.

*

The TV show Coach made Minnesota State University sound like a fun place to go to college, and (sometimes) a fun place to watch a college football game.

And where are they now?

* Craig T. Nelson (Hayden Fox) is about to turn 75, and is the voice of Robert Parr, a.k.a. Mr. Incredible, in the Incredibles cartoon series.

* Shelley Fabares (Christine Armstrong) just turned 75, and the former teen idol has mostly retired from acting, though she has also gone into superhero cartoons, doing voices for the DC Animated Universe.

* Bill Fagerbakke (Michael "Dauber" Dybinski) is 61. He played Marvin Eriksen, Marshall's father, on How I Met Your Mother. He is also the voice of Patrick Star on SpongeBob SquarePants.

* Clare Carey (Kelly Fox) is 51, and has become "one of those actors who's on every show." She was a regular on the drama series Point Pleasant, Jericho and Crash. She has appeared once on every show in the NCIS franchise, including in a fantasy sequence as Ann Gibbs, Leroy Jethro Gibbs' mother (and perhaps the source of his redhead fixation).

* Kris Kamm (Stuart Rosebrock) is 54, and has had just 1 acting role since 2000, mostly producing since then.

* Kenneth Kimmins (Howard Burleigh) is 77, and played the Mayor on Desperate Housewives in 2007, but has only acted once since.

* Georgia Engel (Shirley Burleigh) is 70. Formerly Georgette Franklin, eventually Mrs. Ted Baxter, on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, she reunited with her co-star on that show, Betty White, as a supporting player on Hot in Cleveland. She was also a semi-regular on Everybody Loves Raymond, and has appeared on the new version of One Day at a Time.

* Katherine Helmond is 89, and the former Soap and Who's the Boss? star hasn't acted since 2011, except for cartoon voiceovers. She is the voice of Lizzie, a Ford Model T (perhaps as a nod to her age, and that car, produced between 1908 and 1927, was nicknamed "the Tin Lizzie") in the Cars cartoons.

* And Jerry Van Dyke (Luther Van Dam) died in 2018, at the age of 86. Between Coach and his death, he had played grandpa roles on the sitcoms Yes, Dear; The Middle and The Millers.

UPDATE: The day after I posted this, it was revealed that Helmond had died the preceding Saturday, from complications of Alzheimer's disease.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

New York Head Coaches: The Current, the Longest-Serving, the Shortest-Serving

Today, it was announced that Todd Bowles has been hired as head coach of the New York Jets.

He succeeds the recently-fired Rex Ryan -- who has been hired as head coach of the Buffalo Bills, an AFC Eastern Division opponent. I'll be curious to see how Jet fans react when Rex is introduced as Bills coach at MetLife Stadium next fall.

Who is Todd Bowles? Born November 18, 1963, making him 51 years old. Born and raised in Elizabeth, Union County, New Jersey, making him a local guy. African-American, the 2nd such head coach in the history of New York football, following former Jet coach Herman Edwards, who was also born in New Jersey (while his father, an Army sergeant, was stationed at Fort Monmouth).

Played safety at Temple University in Philadelphia. Played 8 years in the NFL, mostly for the Washington Redskins, including starting 12 games of their 1987 season that resulted in winning Super Bowl XXII. Intercepted 15 passes in his career. Listed as having played at 6-foot-2, 203 pounds.

Worked in the Green Bay Packers' front office, including in their 1996 season that resulted in winning Super Bowl XXXI, meaning he got a 2nd Super Bowl ring. Defensive coordinator at "historically black colleges" Morehouse and Grambling State. This is his 2nd time on the Jet coaching staff, as he was Al Groh's defensive backs coach in 2000. Coached defensive backs for the Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys (under Bill Parcells), Miami Dolphins and Philadelphia Eagles.

Miami's interim head coach in 2011, going 2-1, so, however minimal, he does have NFL head coaching experience. Philadelphia's defensive coordinator in 2012, and the last 2 years, he's held the same post with the Arizona Cardinals, making the Playoffs all 3 seasons.

All in all, there are reasons to like this hiring, and no obvious red flags. The Jets may have gotten this one right. (UPDATE: They didn't, although that was hardly all Bowles' fault.)

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Here are the current head coaches of the 9 major league teams in the New York Tri-State Area, in terms of length of service:

1. New York Giants: Tom Coughlin, 11 years. (2 titles, 2007 and 2011.)
2. New York Yankees: Joe Girardi, 6 years. (1 title, 2009.)
3. New York Islanders: Jack Capuano, 5 years.
4. New York Mets: Terry Collins, 4 years.
5. New York Rangers: Alain Vigneault, 2 years.
6. New York Knicks: Derek Fisher, 3 months.
7. Brooklyn Nets: Lionel Hollins, 2 months.
8. New Jersey Devils: Tri-coaches Lou Lamoriello, Adam Oates and Scott Stevens, 19 days.
9. New York Jets: Todd Bowles, 1 day.

Hard to believe, but Girardi has now lasted longer as Yankee manager than all but 5 human beings who have ever lived: Miller Huggins, Joe McCarthy, Casey Stengel, Ralph Houk the 2nd time around, and Joe Torre. Indeed, despite George Steinbrenner living on until 2010, the Yankees have had just 2 managers in the 19 years since November 4, 1995.

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Longest-Serving Head Coaches for the New York Teams

*. New York Giants (baseball): John McGraw, 30 years, 1902-32. 3 titles, 1905, 1921 and 1922.

1. New York Giants: Steve Owen, 23 years, 1931-53. 2 titles, 1934 and 1938. That's Owen in the photo, at the Polo Grounds, between 2 of his Hall of Fame players, Ken Strong (50) and Mel Hein (7).

2. New York Islanders; Al Arbour, 19 years, 1973-86, again 1988-94, and 1 more game in 2007, just to get him to the milestone of 1,500 games as a head coach. (Ted Nolan, the head coach at the time, came up with the idea of stepping aside for that 1 game, and Islander management agreed.) 4 titles, 1980, 1981, 1982 and 1983.

* Brooklyn Dodgers: Wilbert Robinson, 18 years, 1914-31. No titles, but Pennants in 1916 and 1920. Walter Alston was the longest-lasting Dodger manager, 23 years, 1954-76, but only the 1st 4 of those were spent in Brooklyn.

3. New York Yankees: Joe McCarthy, 16 years, 1931-46. 7 titles, 1932, 1936, 1937, 1938, 1939, 1941 and 1943. Huggins, Stengel and Torre each served 12 years.

4. New York Knicks: Red Holzman, 14 years, 1967-77 and again 1978-82. 2 titles, 1970 and 1973.

5. New York Rangers: Lester Patrick, 13 years, 1926-39. 2 titles, 1928 and 1933. He was also the team's 1st GM, 1926 to 1955, adding a 3rd title in 1940.

6. New York Jets: Weeb Ewbank, 11 years, 1963-73. 1 title, 1968-69.

7. New Jersey Devils: Jacques Lemaire, 7 years, 1993-98, again 2009-10, and again 2010-11 -- the last 2 tenures being interim. 1 title, 1995.

8. New York Mets: Davey Johnson, 7 years, 1984-90. 1 title, 1986.

9. Nets (under any name): Kevin Loughery, 7 years, 1973-80. 2 ABA titles, 1974 and 1976.

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Shortest-Serving Head Coaches for the New York Teams

Note: This excludes interim hires, and, of course, the current head coaches, whose tenures have obviously not yet concluded.

1. New York Giants: Bob Folwell, the team's first head coach, 12 games in 1925. Quarterback Benny Friedman was a player-coach for the last 2 games of the 1930 season, making him the only interim head coach in the G-Men's history.

2. New York Jets: Lou Holtz, 13 games in 1976. He was a great college coach, but, like so many of those, he was a bust in the NFL. Mike Holovak was named interim coach for the last game. Ken Shipp, the year before, was also an interim hire, 5 games. Bowles can avoid being the shortest-serving Jet head coach if he lasts until December 13, 2015 (week 15 of the 2015 NFL season, presuming the Jets have 1 bye).

3. New York Islanders: Earl Ingarfield, 30 games at the end of the 1972-73 season, the team's 1st. Ironically, he was an ex-Ranger. He was not intended as an interim coach, but chose not to return. Good thing for the team that he didn't, as they hired Arbour.

4. New Jersey Devils: Kevin Constantine, the last 31 games of the 2001-02 season. The Devils have had several interim tenures, because -- letting Peter DeBoer stay nearly 2 1/2 seasons until this past December 26 being a notable exception -- Lamoriello, the team's general manager since 1987, has a trigger finger nearly as itchy as Steinbrenner's was. If Lamoriello settles on either Oates or Stevens as a single head coach, I won't count the other as the shortest-tenured even if it ends up being less than 31 games. Whichever it is (or if it's both), he (they) would surpass Constantine on March 14, 2015.

5. New York Rangers: Bernie "Boom-Boom" Geoffrion, 43 games in 1968-69. He was not fired: Instead, he quit because of his health, an ulcer. He recovered, and lived another 37 years. The Rangers have had many interim head coaches who lasted fewer games than that.

6. Nets (under any name): P.J. Carlesimo, 54 games in 2012-13. The Nets have had many interim coaches. Hard to believe their briefest full tenure was not in the period from their 1976 arrival in the NBA and the 2001 arrival of Jason Kidd as a player. Or Kidd's as head coach. Hollins will surpass Carlesimo if he lasts until February 23, 2015.

7. New York Knicks: Don Nelson, 59 games in 1995-96. Twice, Herb Williams has been called on to be interim head coach, for 1 game in 2004 and 43 games in 2005. Fisher will surpass Nelson if he lasts until March 4, 2015.

8. New York Yankees: Bill Dickey, 105 games in 1946. This stat carries a major asterisk, as Steinbrenner made so many managerial changes, it was hard to keep up. The manager intended as regular (as in non-interim) with the shortest individual tenure was Billy Martin, in his 5th and final go-around, 1988, lasting just 68 games; however, Billy managed 941 games from 1975 to 1988, adding up to nearly 6 full seasons. Steinbrenner's  quickest firing at the start of a season was Yogi Berra, 17 games into 1985, leading to Billy's 4th run; however, Yogi had managed the season before, and in 1964. The actual shortest tenure in the Steinbrenner Era (1973-2010) was 1 game, as Dick Howser had to fill in for a game in 1978 after Billy's 1st run ended, and replacement Bob Lemon couldn't get to the game on time; other than that, it was 39, Lemon's 2nd go-around in late 1981 and early 1982.

9. New York Mets: Jeff Torborg, 200 games in 1992-93. Collins has already surpassed him.