May 13, 1976: The Last ABA Game

David Thompson (left) and Julius Erving

May 13, 1976, 50 years ago: The New York Nets beat the Denver Nuggets, 121-106 at the Nassau County Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Hempstead, New York, and win the American Basketball Association Championship in 6 games.

(The Nassau Coliseum is in the Town of Hempstead, in Nassau County, on Long Island, but its mailing address is Uniondale, NY.)

For the Nets, coached by Kevin Loughery; Julius Erving, known as Dr. J, scored 31 points, John Williamson 28, Brian Taylor 24, Jim Eakins 15, Bill Melchionni and Tim Bassett each scored 4, Al Skinner 3, Rich Jones 2, and Ted McClain 1.

For the Nuggets, coached by Larry Brown (with some irony, a Nassau County native): David Thompson, known as "Skywalker" before there was a Star Wars, led all scorers with 42 points, Dan Issel 30, Chuck Williams 14, Monte Towe 6, Ralph Simpson and Bobby Jones 4 each; and Byron Beck, Marvin Webster and Gus Gerard 2 each.

This turns out to be the last game in ABA history. It is also the last game that Erving plays for the Nets.

Before the 1975-76 season began, the Memphis Sounds, who had been the Memphis Tams (1972-74), the Memphis Pros (1970-72), and the New Orleans Buccaneers (1967-70), moved again, becoming the Baltimore Claws, but only played 3 exhibition games before being folded by the league for nonpayment of fees. The San Diego Conquistadors became the San Diego Sails, but folded 11 games into the season; the Utah Stars, only 2 seasons removed from a Finals berth and the 1971 ABA Champions, folded 16 games in.

So only 7 teams completed the season: The Nets, the Nuggets, the San Antonio Spurs, the Indiana Pacers, the Kentucky Colonels, the Spirits of St. Louis and the Virginia Squires. The ABA required the remaining teams to each put up $75,000 before merger talks with the NBA, and the Squires didn't, folding, and ending what remains Virginia's last sports team with major league pretensions. (The Washington Commanders have their offices and training camp in Virginia, but, as of the 2022 season, their stadium is in Maryland.)

Despite being 1 of only 2 teams, the Pacers being the other, to play every ABA season under the same name and in the same metro area, and being only 1 season removed from an ABA Championship, the Colonels folded. Team owner John Y. Brown Jr., who bought Kentucky Fried Chicken from "Colonel" Harland Sanders and made it a nationwide brand, took a $3.3 million payoff from the NBA.

Brown took the money he received for the Colonels and used part of it to purchase the NBA's Buffalo Braves, which he later parlayed into ownership of the Boston Celtics. In 1979, he was elected Governor of Kentucky. To this day, no major league team in any sport has called Kentucky home, unless you count Racing Louisville FC of the National Women's Soccer League.

The Spirits' demise was a bit more interesting. The team known from 1967 to 1969 as the Houston Mavericks, and from then until 1974 as the Carolina Cougars, were owned by brothers Ozzie and Daniel Silva, textile magnates, who had previously tried to buy the NBA's Detroit Pistons. They had planned to move the Spirits to Salt Lake City if the NBA would accept them. It didn't, thinking both St. Louis and Salt Lake City too small as markets. However, in 1979, the NBA did not stop the New Orleans Jazz from moving to Salt Lake City.

In June 1976, the ABA owners agreed, in return for the Spirits of St. Louis ceasing operations, to pay the Silnas $2.2 million in cash up front, in addition to a 1/7th share of the 4 remaining teams' television revenues in perpetuity. As the NBA's popularity exploded in 1980s and 1990s, the league's television rights were sold to CBS, and then NBC, and additional deals were struck with the cable networks TBS and TNT, league television revenue soared into the hundreds of millions of dollars.

From 1976 to 2012, the Silnas collected approximately $255 million from the NBA, despite the fact that the Spirits never played an NBA game. (Nor has the NBA placed a new team in St. Louis since the Hawks moved to Atlanta in 1968.) In 2014, the Silnas reached agreement with the NBA to greatly reduce the perpetual payments, and take a lump sum of $500 million. Ozzie died in 2016, at the age of 83. As of May 13, 2022, Dan is still alive, 77 years old, and still receiving money from the NBA, even though he hasn't owned a pro basketball team in 46 years.

When the 1976-77 season begins, the Nets, the Nuggets, the Pacers and the Spurs were in the NBA. But, as a result of having to pay an entry fee and a territorial indemnification fee to the Knicks, the Nets sold Erving to the Philadelphia 76ers. The Nets went from the best team in their old league to the worst in their new one, while Dr. J helped the Sixers reach 4 NBA Finals, including in that 1st season, winning the title in 1983.

The Nets changed their name to the New Jersey Nets in 1977, moved to the Rutgers Athletic Center in Piscataway, then to the Brendan Byrne Arena at the Meadowlands in East Rutherford in 1981, then to the Prudential Center in Newark in 2010, and finally to the Barclays Center in 2012, becoming the Brooklyn Nets. They reached the NBA Finals in 2002 and 2003, but, for the most part, due to poor drafts, poor trades, and internal dissension that occasionally breaks them up, they have been an NBA failure.

However, it should also be noted that the 1976 ABA title was the last league championship won by a basketball team in the New York Tri-State Area until the New York Liberty won the WNBA Championship in 2024. The Knicks won the NBA in 1970 and 1973, the Nets won the ABA in 1974 and 1976. Since then, between them, they are 0-4 in NBA Finals, winning just 6 Finals games in 40 years. The Nuggets didn't even reach the NBA Finals until 2023, finally winning it.

The NBA never adopted the ABA's red-white-and-blue ball, keeping their traditional orange. But in 1979, they adopted the 3-point field goal, which the ABA had, as had the American Basketball League of 1961-62.

Jason Collins, 1978-2026

On February 23, 2014, the Brooklyn Nets beat the Los Angeles Lakers, 108-102 at the Staples Center (now the Crypto.com Arena) in Los Angeles. Jason Collins played 10 minutes and 37 seconds for the Nets, and he didn't score any points. He did, however, have an offensive rebound, a defensive rebound, and a steal.

This appearance made Collins, who, in the off-season, publicly revealed that he is gay -- also known as "coming out of the closet," or "outing yourself," and was not, at the time, signed to any team -- the first openly gay athlete in major league sports in North America.

Presuming, of course, that you do not include MLS, Major League Soccer, as "major league." Robbie Rogers had already played for the Los Angeles Galaxy since coming out. So far, the reaction to him has been positive. But in the traditional "Big Four" North American sports, Collins was the first. And it appeared that, on that night, the L.A. fans -- presumably, many of whom had cheered Rogers -- treated Collins no worse than they treated any other opposing player.

A few other athletes have come out after retirement. Collins, knowing that he could still have a shot at signing with a new team, but also that teams might shy away from signing him if they knew, chose to be honest, and let them know. The Nets decided that it didn't matter, that it wasn't an indication of bad character, and that he might still be able to help them win, and they signed him.

Born on December 2, 1978 in Los Angeles, Jason Paul Collins was an All-American center at Stanford University. He had previously played with the New Jersey Nets from 2001 to 2008, before their 2012 move to Brooklyn. He played the 2nd half of the 2007-08 season with the Memphis Grizzlies, 2008-09 with the Minnesota Timberwolves, 2009-12 with the Atlanta Hawks, most of 2012-13 with the Boston Celtics, and the end of that season with the Washington Wizards. He ended up playing 22 games for the Nets, starting only 1, and never played again.

In that 1st game for the Nets, he wore Number 46. For his remaining games with the Nets, he wore 98, as he had with the Celtics and the Wizards. He wore it in memory of Matthew Shepard, a University of Wyoming student who was murdered for being gay in 1998. Having proven his point, he announced his retirement on November 19, 2014.

Glenn Burke, who played baseball in the 1970s, didn't "come out" while he was playing, because, in his own mind, he was never "in." Baseball fans at large didn't know he was gay, but his teammates knew, and most of them didn't care. Unfortunately, he played for 2 bigoted managers, Tommy Lasorda and Billy Martin. Lasorda ordered him traded away from the Los Angeles Dodgers; and Billy Martin, with the Oakland Athletics, had him sent down to the minors, burying him and prematurely ending his career.

One day, people who are gay will not have to face the choice of announcing it, or keeping themselves in the closet because they're afraid of repercussions. One day, we will hear that someone is gay, and we'll say, "So what? It doesn't make a difference. It's his (or her) business, not ours."

Until then, anyone facing the choice that Jason Collins and Robbie Rogers have made -- not being gay, but revealing it -- will need more Collinses and Rogerses, to move people's hearts and minds forward. Such people will advance our society in the same way that Jackie Robinson did on race, to the point where the only thing that matters is, "Can he play?"

If a player is a good player and a good teammate, then I don't care if he's a purple Buddhist from Mars in a ménage-a-trois with a college kid and a teddy bear: His personal life doesn't matter, and he can play on my team. If a player is exactly like I was as a young man, except with talent, but not enough to make it at the major league level, then I'd cut him.

I'd rather have a gay player on my team than an anti-gay player.

Jason Collins died of cancer today, May 12, 2026. He was only 47 years old. 

Yanks Swept In Milwaukee

One worthwhile criticism of this year's Yankees is that they haven't done well against teams over .500.

Of course, one good reason why those teams they have beaten are under .500 is that they've played the Yankees.

The Yankees played the Milwaukee Brewers at American Family Field (formerly Miller Park) this weekend. The Brewers have won the last 3 National League Central Division titles, and made the Playoffs in 7 of the last 8 seasons. They are a Playoff contender again.

While there were hopeful signs for the Yankees, it was a bad series. On Friday night, highly-touted prospect Spencer Jones, an outfielder who bats and throws lefthanded, about to turn 25 and from the San Diego area, made his major league debut. Wearing Number 78, he started as the designated hitter, and went 0-for-2 with a walk.

Max Fried and the Brewers' Jacob Misiorowski both pitched 6 innings. Fried was roughed up for 5 runs. "The Miz," still only 24 years old, allowed 2 hits and 2 walks, and struck out 11. Shane Drohan finished the 3rd-hit shutout. The Yankees never even got a runner to 3rd base. Brewers 6, Yankees 0.

On Saturday, Cam Schlittler pitched 6 shutout innings, and Paul Goldschmidt went 3-for-5 with 2 RBIs, including his 375th career home run, allowing him to pass Rocky Colavito on the all-time list, and tie the still-active Manny Machado. But the rest of the Yankees combined only got 4 hits, and the game went to extra innings.

In the top of the 10th, with Max Schuemann as the "ghost runner," Ben Rice, returning from a brief injury, struck out. Aaron Judge was walked intentionally to set up the double play. Cody Bellinger flew out. Ryan McMahon singled Schuemann home, but Judge was thrown out at 3rd base. Unwritten Rule of Baseball, or, perhaps, Cliché Alert: Never make the 1st or 3rd out of the inning at 3rd base. 

In the bottom of the 10th, neither Fernando Cruz nor Tim Hill could hold the Brewers: Walk, flyout, single, fielder's choice, sacrifice fly. Brewers 4, Yankees 2.

Yesterday, Carlos Rodón came off the Injured List, and made his 1st start of the season. (We're still waiting on Gerrit Cole and Clarke Schmidt.) He could have used another minor-league rehab start as a warmup: He only went 4 1/3rd innings, allowing 3 runs on 2 hits and 5 walks, striking out 4.

In the 1st inning, Aaron Judge hit his 384th career home run, passing Larry Walker on the all-time list, and tying Harold Baines. In the 2nd, José Caballero, and was singled home for Jones' 1st major league hit, and his 1st major league RBI. It was 2-0 Yankees.

But Rodón got into trouble in the 4th, and the Brewers took a 3-2 lead. Rodón was shaky again in the 5th, and Aaron Boone brought Jake Bird in to bail him out. In the 6th, Judge and Bellinger drew walks, but Judge was caught stealing. Jazz Chisholm doubled Bellinger home, tying the score, but had Judge still been on base, he would have scored, too. This turned out to be a rare mistake by Judge, and a big one.

The Yankee bullpen held the Brewers off until the bottom of the 9th. David Bednar came in, and struck Joey Ortiz out, and struck Jackson Chourio out. But he gave up a home run to Brice Turang. Hell, Aroldis Chapman, Luke Weaver, Clay Holmes or Devin Williams could have done that. Anyway, Brewers 4, Yankees 3, and the Yankees were swept.

We are one-quarter of the way into the regular season. The Yankees are 26-15, a pace to go 103-59. But we're a game, 2 in (Cliché Alert) the All-Important Loss Column, behind the Tampa Bay Rays in the American League Eastern Division.

It could be worse: The Mets still have the highest payroll and the worst record in Major League Baseball.

Tonight, the Yankees begin a series away to the Baltimore Orioles.

*

May 10, 1876: The Centennial Exhibition

Memorial Hall

May 10, 1876, 150 years ago: The Centennial International Exhibition of 1876, the first official World's Fair to be held in the United States, opens in Philadelphia, to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence in the city, on July 4, 1776.

Officially named the International Exhibition of Arts, Manufactures, and Products of the Soil and Mine, it was held in Fairmount Park, along the Schuylkill (SKOOL-kill) River, northwest of what's now known as Center City, on fairgrounds designed by Herman J. Schwarzmann. Nearly 10 million visitors attended the exposition, and 37 countries participated in it. It ran until November 10, when colder weather made keeping it going impractical.

A 1,000-foot Centennial Tower was proposed, but never built. (World's Fairs that did build towers have included the 1889 Universal Exposition in Paris with the Eiffel Tower, the 1939 New York World's Fair with the Trylon, and the 1962 Century 21 Exposition in Seattle with the Space Needle.) But the right arm and torch of the still-incomplete Statue of Liberty were on display, and fees collected to stand in the torch and view the fair helped raise money for the Statue's completion.

There was an Agricultural Hall, a Horticultural Hall, a Machinery Hall, a Women's Pavilion, and a few other themed exhibition areas. Among the new products shown for the first time at this fair were Alexander Graham Bell's telephone, the Remington No. 1 typewriter, Heinz ketchup and Hires root beer.

The Exhibition was intended not only to celebrate the 100th Anniversary of American independence, but to show that America was coming out of the economic depression that had been caused by the stock market's Panic of 1873. The celebrations were meant to peak on Centennial Day, July 4, 1876. Unfortunately, that was the day that word reached Philadelphia by telegraph of the Battle of the Little Bighorn, where Native American tribes routed the U.S. Army's 7th Cavalry, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer in the Montana Territory, putting a damper on the big day.

The fair was a mixture of the Gilded Age and the pain of the depression brought about by the Panic of 1873, and the strain that the Wild West was putting on the nation.

One of the few remaining buildings from the Exhibition is Memorial Hall. Since 2005, it has housed the Please Touch Museum, an interactive museum for children.

Bobby Cox, 1941-2026

No manager in the history of Major League Baseball has been thrown out of more games than Bobby Cox: 158, plus 3 more in postseason play. Which I was surprised to learn: He never seemed all that argumentative to me.

Robert Joe Cox (not "Robert Joseph") was born on May 21, 1941 in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and grew up in Selma, California, outside Fresno. Like Mickey Mantle, Allie Reynolds and Bobby Murcer, he was an Oklahoma native who went on to play for the Yankees. Unlike them, however, he would not be a great player. His destiny would be in a different role, for other teams.

He was originally signed by the Los Angeles Dodgers, but before he could reach the major leagues, was traded to the Yankees. He played in 135 games of the 1968 season, making him a teammate of Mantle in the Mick's last season; and 85 games in 1969, playing mostly 3rd base, although he made 6 appearances at 2nd base.

He played and managed in the Winter league in Venezuela, which led the Yankees to let him manage in their farm system, starting in 1971. He won Pennants in the Eastern League with the 1972 West Haven Yankees, and in the International League with the 1976 Syracuse Chiefs. For the 1977 season, the Yankees called him up, and made him their 1st base coach. They won the World Series.

The Atlanta Braves signed him as their manager for 1978, but it didn't work out, and he was fired after the 1981 season. The Toronto Blue Jays signed him for 1982, and they were building something. In 1985, he took them to the American League Eastern Division title, edging the Yankees for it. But he blew a 3-games-to-1 lead in the AL Championship Series, and the Jays were beaten by the Kansas City Royals.

The Braves decided to bring him back, not as field manager, at first, but as general manager. The Jays let him go, and he was still the GM in 1990, when he fired manager Russ Nixon, and made himself the manager. He then hired John Schuerholz as his replacement.

With Cox in the dugout, and Schuerholz in the front office, the Braves then went on one of the most successful runs any MLB team has ever had. They won the National League Western Division title in 1991, '92 and '93. Realignment and the Strike of '94 meant no Division title in 1994 -- MLB doesn't recognize first-place finishes from that season -- but they won the NL Eastern Division title in 1995, '96, '97, '98, '99, 2000, '01, '02, '03, '04 and '05.

In 1991, they won their 1st Pennant since moving to Atlanta in 1966, their 1st Pennant since 1958 in Milwaukee. They lost a thriller of a World Series to the Minnesota Twins. They won another Pennant in 1992, but lost the Series to the Blue Jays. They won another Pennant in 1995, and, this time, won their 1st World Series in Atlanta, their 1st title since 1957 in Milwaukee. They won the Pennant again in 1996 and 1999, but, each time, lost the World Series to the Yankees, managed by the man who'd succeeded Cox the 1st time he'd managed the Braves, Joe Torre.

Cox never won another Pennant. He remained the Braves' manager though the 2010 season, in which he won 1 last NL East title. Overall: 2,504 wins, 2,001 losses, 16 Division titles, and 5 Pennants. But, despite having managed future Hall-of-Famers Phil Niekro, Ted Simmons, Bruce Sutter, John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, Greg Maddux, Chipper Jones, Fred McGriff, Andruw Jones and Billy Wagner, he only won 1 World Series.

Bobby Cox was married to Pamela, and had 8 children. He is 1 of only 4 managers to be named Manager of the Year in each League. He was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame, and the Braves retired his Number 6.

He died today, May 9, 2026, at the age of 84.

Yankees Overcome Replacements to Mess With Texas

The Yankees played a 3-game midweek series at home against the Texas Rangers. Once again, they messed with Texas.

On Tuesday night, Elmer Rodríguez made his 2nd major league start. He didn't get out of the 5th inning, showing that he's not ready. Brent Headrick had to finish the 5th, and pitch the 6th. He ended up as the winning pitcher.

Starting out down 3-0, the Yankees got a run in the 1st inning, and Ryan McMahon tied it with a 2-run home run in the 2nd inning. Jazz Chisholm hit a home run in the 6th, and Cody Bellinger hit a 2-run double in the 7th. Paul Goldschmidt homered in the 8th, his 374th career home run. The Yankees won, 7-4.

Will Warren had been pitching surprisingly well, going 4-0, before Wednesday night. He simply didn't have it, giving up 6 runs in 4 innings. In contrast, the Rangers started Nathan Eovaldi, the starting pitcher that Brian Cashman gave up on after the 2016 season. Since returning to the majors in 2018, he has always driven the Yankees crazy. This time, he went 8 innings, allowing 1 run on 3 hits, the run coming on a home run by Aaron Judge.

It was the 383rd of his career, passing Frank Howard, Jim Rice and Ryan Howard on the all-time list. Next up is Harold Baines with 384. But it wasn't enough: Rangers 6, Yankees 1.

The Wednesday afternoon game started out badly. Ben Rice missed another game with a bruised hand. Then, David Weathers had to be scratched as the starting pitcher due to illness. So Paul Blackburn, usually a reliever, started the game.

Then on the 1st play of the game, Jasson Domínguez made a great catch of a drive hit by former Met Brandon Nimmo. But he crashed into the left field wall, and will be on the Injured List for "at least a few weeks" after an MRI revealed a low-grade sprain of his left AC joint.

So Cody Bellinger was moved from right field to left field, Amed Rosario was moved from 3rd base to right field, and Ryan McMahon was put at 3rd base, replacing Domínguez in the 6th slot in the batting order. Judge was the DH, and the Yankees didn't want to give up the DH, so Judge didn't go to right field. And, since Rosario was playing 3rd instead of shortstop, Max Schuemann was playing shortstop instead of Anthony Volpe.

So now, the only Yankees in their preferred positions were Paul Goldschmidt at 1st base, Jazz Chisholm at 2nd base, and Trent Grisham in center field.

 And here's what Blackburn gave up: The aforementioned long fly ball, a walk to Ezequiel Duran, who was then caught stealing 2nd, a walk to Corey Seager, he hit Josh Jung with a pitch, and got Joc Pederson to ground out. He did not go back out for the 2nd inning: It was determined that he, too, was injured. So, without warning, this became a "bullpen game."

The new pitcher was Brendan Beck, making his major league debut. At the age of 27. And a half. Not a good sign: Most pitchers who are going to make it do so younger than that. He was born during the Yankees' 1998 American League Division Series win -- over the Rangers. He's a righthander from the San Diego area, and a Stanford graduate.

Wearing Number 89, he pitched 3 innings, giving up 2 runs on 2 hits and 3 walks, with 1 strikeout. Not a good performance. Basically, all he did was eat innings.

I can hear the late, great John Sterling now: "You know, Suzyn (Waldman), you just can't predict baseball." And I can also hear the late, great Phil Rizzuto: "I tell ya, Bill White, this is unbelievable, this is givin' me agita. Holy cow."

Fortunately, the Yankee bullpen did the job the rest of the way: Tim Hill, Headrick, Jake Bird and Camilo Doval pitched 5 scoreless innings.

And the Yankees unloaded the lumber. Goldschmidt and Bellinger both hit triples in the 1st inning, to make it 1-0 Yankees. Duran tied it with a home run in the 3rd, and gave the Rangers a 2-1 lead with an RBI groundout in the 4th.

Then came the bottom of the 6th. Cliché Alert: Walks can kill you, especially the leadoff variety. Bellinger led off with a walk. Then came a single by Rosario, a popup by Chisholm, a walk by McMahon, a double by Grisham, a strikeout by Schuemann, a single by J.C. Escarra, a walk by Goldschmidt, a single by Judge, and a single by Bellinger. 7-2 Yankees.

Schuemann, a 28-year-old utility infielder from Derek Jeter's hometown of Kalamazoo, Michigan, played with the Athletics the last 2 seasons. He doubled home a run in the 7th. McMahon singled home a run in the 8th. Headrick was named the winning pitcher.

Despite a rough start, the Yankees won, 9-2, taking the series from the Rangers, and going 6-1 on the homestand. They are 26-12, half a game ahead of the Tampa Bay Rays, and tied with the Atlanta Braves and the Chicago Cubs for the best record in baseball.

Today, the Yankees called up Spencer Jones, their 6-foot-7 slugging prospect, to replace Domínguez on the roster. And they have gone on a roadtrip, starting with a weekend series against the Milwaukee Brewers. Come on you Bombers!

May 7, 2006: The Highbury Farewell & the Tottenham Lasagne

May 7, 2006, 20 years ago: The rivalry between the professional soccer teams of North London takes its strangest turn ever.

Arsenal Football Club (a.k.a. "The Arsenal") and Tottenham Hotspur Football Club (a.k.a. "Spurs") are separated by 4.7 miles in North London. To put that in perspective: Imagine that, in New York City, the Yankees and Mets played each other regularly, and that, while the Mets played in Flushing Meadow as they actually do, the Yankees played in Astoria, instead of the South Bronx.

The relationship is similar -- or it would be, if the Mets, instead of being the successors to the baseball version of the New York Giants, were a continuation of the same team: Great long ago, but only sporadically so since the Yankees first began winning, perennially getting humiliated by the more successful club, treating every win over the more successful club like you'd just won a world championship, and collapsing just as glory seems within your grasp.

But Met fans think the Yankees have unfair advantages: Money (true), getting the benefit of the doubt from the officials and the league office (don't make me laugh), favorable treatment by the media (don't take drugs). Tottenham fans think Arsenal have these advantages, and one more: Arsenal "bribed their way into the First Division in 1919." (It's been over 100 years: Not one shred of evidence has ever been found to back up this fact that "everybody knows is true.")

Therefore, both Met fans and Spurs fans claim a moral high ground over their local rivals. This results in a huge superiority complex and a huge inferiority complex at the same time.

Even the mottoes are similar: The Mets' is "Ya gotta believe!" while Spurs' is "To dare is to do."

I've mentioned before that the Mets are the Tottenham of New York, and that this might not be fair... to the Mets. Tottenham have not won their league since 1961, while the Mets, who started in 1962 as a replacement for the Giants and the Brooklyn Dodgers (who left for California in 1957), have now won their league 5 times. (The real "Tottenham of New York" is hockey's Rangers, complete with their idiot thug fans: They talk as much trash as Yankee and Arsenal fans do, but they don't get the results to back it up.)

Tottenham have won England's top division of soccer (or, as they say, "football") twice, both times clinching at their home ground of White Hart Lane: In 1951 and 1961. They beat the same opponent both times: Sheffield Wednesday.

Arsenal have also twice clinched England's top division of soccer (or, as they say, "football") at White Hart Lane: In 1971 and 2004. They beat the same opponent both times: Tottenham.

Arsenal have won the League 13 times, including 6 times since Spurs' last title: 1971, 1989, 1991, 1998, 2002 and 2004.

Tottenham have won the FA Cup, England's national tournament, 8 times. This is actually a very impressive total. But they haven't won it since 1991, when they beat Arsenal in a Semifinal. They haven't even been to a Final since, going 0-3 in Semifinals, including losing to Arsenal in 1993 and 2001. Arsenal have won the FA Cup 14 times, more than any other club, including 9 times since Spurs last did: 1993, 1998, 2002, 2003, 2005, 2014, 2015, 2017 and 2020.

Because of their association with the old Royal Arsenal in Woolwich, in what's now Southeast London, Arsenal have always had a cannon on their club crest, and are thus known as the Gunners. Their fans, known as Gooners, like to say that Tottenham Hotspur, named for early 15th Century English rebel Henry Percy, a.k.a. Lord Harry Hotspur, are "forever in our shadow."

But every so often -- currently, we are in one of those moments -- the lopsided advantage in honors that tilts toward Arsenal looks like it might be reversed, what Spurs fans call "a power shift in North London."

A decade ago, there was one of those moments. But it ended up getting flushed down the toilet. Almost literally.

In 2005-06, Arsenal had their best Champions League campaign ever, reaching the Final. That Final, still the closest Arsenal have ever come to winning the European Cup (the UEFA Champions League format kept the name for the trophy), turned out to be the last appearance in Arsenal's colors for Dutch forward Dennis Bergkamp, French winger Robert Pires, English centreback Sol Campbell (who controversially transferred from Spurs to Arsenal 5 years earlier), and, controversially, English left back Ashley Cole.

Cole had grown up as an Arsenal fan and in Arsenal's youth system, but had been "tapped up" by West London rivals Chelsea, and would go to them due to new owner Roman Abramovich's spending spree, which had gotten Chelsea the 2005 and '06 Premier League titles. Cole has been known as "Cashley" to Gooners fans ever since.

But the 2005-06 season was the end of an era for another reason: It was the last season for the Arsenal Stadium, a.k.a. Highbury. The new Emirates Stadium -- some call it The Emirates, some by the area's former name Ashburton Grove, some cheekily call it New Highbury -- was going up, 500 yards away, and would open in the summer, the product of the success Arsenal had enjoyed in its 1st 10 years of management by the Alsatian genius, Arsène Wenger.

Arsenal wanted very badly to end the last game at Highbury with a win. It was against Manchester area club Wigan Athletic, and was expected to not be hard, but Arsenal have a history of losing the occasional game that they really should win.

But it wasn't just sentiment: Arsenal went into the season's League finale in 5th place in the Premiership, with Tottenham in 4th. All Spurs had to do in their game, which was away to East London club West Ham United, was match Arsenal's performance on that final day of the Premiership season, and it would be Spurs in the 2006-07 Champions League, with Arsenal "relegated" to the UEFA Cup -- unless, of course, Arsenal could win the CL Final, as the defending champion is always invited back.

The night before, Tottenham manager Martin Jol had secluded his players at a hotel, the Marriott Canary Wharf, in London's financial district, a.k.a. The City. This is not unusual: Many managers do things like this, even before home games. American football head coaches, in both the professional and the collegiate ranks, also do this. The players would have a nice dinner the night before the game, and get a good night's sleep, and would have a nice short bus ride to the stadium, all away from the prying of fans and the media.

What did Scottish poet Robert Burns say? Translated into modern common English, "The best-laid plans of mice and men often go astray."

In the middle of the night, 10 Spurs players woke up, vomiting, and/or having diarrhea: Robbie Keane, Edgar Davids, Michael Carrick, Aaron Lennon, Michael Dawson, Lee Barnard, Calum Davenport, Teemu Tainio, Lee Young-Pyo and Radek Cerny.

Someone decided to blame the lasagne they'd eaten for dinner that night, and after the whole thing was over, some Spurs fans started a conspiracy theory (shades of their delusions about 1919) that the Marriott chef was an Arsenal fan, and had purposely poisoned the Spurs players! It became known as Lasagne-gate.

In the morning, several Spurs players were still, uh, indisposed. So club chairman Daniel Levy called the League office, and asked League chairman Richard Scudamore to postpone the game.

Nothing doing: With 1 League game to go, all teams were to play their games at the same time, 3:00 PM. This was a change from past policy, to avoid teams whose League place had already been decided from laying down on the job, thus giving gamblers some easy pickings and paying customers a less than honest performance.

Levy protested: We have sick players, so can't the game be postponed until tomorrow? Or even until tonight, just to give us a few more hours to recover? Scudamore asked if Spurs had 11 players who could play. Well, yes, but... Then the game would go on. If Spurs wanted to postpone, they could refuse to play, but an inquiry would be held, and Spurs would likely lose that appeal, and the penalty for refusing to play would be a deduction of points, which would make a win in the rescheduled match meaningless.

West Ham officials said they were willing to accept a postponement, so long as it wasn't too close to the following Saturday, when they were to play Liverpool in the FA Cup Final (which Liverpool went on to win). Unlike Spurs, West Ham were not threatened with a points deduction for going along with the postponement (which makes sense, since it wasn't their idea).

But the police were afraid of what additional time to drink that day would do, considering the reputation that both Spurs' and the Hammers' fans had for hooliganism, including against each other. (A fight between fictionalized versions of hooligan firms from those clubs opened the 2005 film Green Street.) So the cops said they would allow the game to start no later than 5:00 -- an extra 2 hours, not much of a help for the last 2 players who still needed rehydration, Carrick and Lennon.

Carrick and Lennon

In the end, the game kicked off on time, at the traditional English football starting time of 3:00 in the afternoon, and only one of the affected players, backup goalkeeper Cerny, did not make it into the game, although Carrick had to be subbed off after 63 minutes, Lee (for fellow affectee Barnard) in the 78th, and Tainio (for fellow affectee Davenport) in the 87th.

*

That season was Wigan's first-ever season in the Premiership, and they had achieved midtable respectability, finishing 10th. An Arsenal win shouldn't have been assumed, but it was well possible. West Ham were about Wigan's equal, finishing 9th, and were hosting Spurs -- hence the Canary Wharf hotel, not far from the Hammers' Boleyn Ground, a.k.a. Upton Park.

Pires scored the Highbury opener, and, for the last time at that ground, the song "One-nil to The Arsenal" was sung -- by both Arsenal fans at Highbury and West Ham fans, learning by radio and text message, at Upton Park.

But Wigan struck back, and led 2-1. Spurs fans, getting calls and messages on their mobile phones, found out, and were ecstatic. And when Jermaine Defoe scored in the 35th to match Darren Fletcher's goal for the Hammers in the 10th, meaning Spurs were looking at a draw while Arsenal were losing, it looked like it would be Spurs' day.

It wasn't. Arsenal's superstar French forward Thierry Henry scored a hat trick, tallying in the 35th, the 56th, and the 76th with a penalty that was the last goal ever scored in the ground's 93-year history. Feeling that history, after putting the ball in the net, instead of launching a ghastly celebration, he bent down and kissed the grass. The final score was Arsenal 4-2 Wigan Athletic.

Of course, it wouldn't have mattered if Spurs had also won. But West Ham came from behind, and won 2-1 on a goal in the 80th minute by Yossi Benayoun, a midfielder from Israel.

Arsenal finished 4th, 2 points ahead of Tottenham, and qualified for the Champions League; Tottenham, finishing 5th, went to the UEFA Cup.

*

The remains of the supposedly offending lasagne were sent to a laboratory, and tested. As it turned out, there was nothing wrong with it, at least not medically. The virus that spread among the Spurs players was real, but it had nothing to do with food.

Still, Spurs fans blame that lasagne, and the chef that served it. Just like the Yankees-Red Sox "Curse of the Bambino," the lasagne contagion never really existed, but it has taken on a life of its own, because the afflicted team's fans believed it. And so, to spite them, ever since, Arsenal fans have sung, to "Volare":

Lasagne, whoa!
Lasagne, whoa!
We laughed ourselves to bits
when Tottenham got the shits!

Which matches another Arsenal chant. I don't know how far back it goes, but it was already in place in early 2007:

Q: What do you think of Tottenham?
A: Shit!
Q: What do you think of shit?
A: Tottenham!
Q: Thank you!
A: That's all right! We hate Tottenham and we hate Tottenham! We hate Tottenham and we hate Tottenham! We hate Tottenham and we hate Tottenham! We are the Tottenham haters!

Indeed, Tottenham didn't finished higher than Arsenal in the League between 1995 and 2017. They then did it 4 times in a row, before Arsenal took over again in 2022.

For talk among their organization, and talk among their fans, and talk among the media, all combined, and then divided by results, Tottenham Hotspur are arguably the biggest joke franchise in sports on planet Earth, any sport, any country.

Lasagne-gate may have been the highest moment -- or the lowest, if you prefer.