Vance the Bully's Flunky

Look, at this point, to paraphrase the opening of the TV show Castle, there are two kinds of people: Psychopaths, and people who want Donald Trump out of the Presidency.

The problem is, that would leave "JD Vance," as he currently writes his name, with no periods on the initials, like CC Sabathia, as President. And, given who he owes, the tech bros, he might be as problematic as Trump, who owes the Russians and the Saudis.

But check out the pictures above. The picture on the left makes him look like one of the flunkies that always hung around school bullies. Those bastards always had them. Remember? Scut Farkas of A Christmas Story had two of them, and Biff Tannen of Back to the Future had three. Two or three was standard for them.

Vance is a flunky to Trump the bully. As are Stephen Miller, Steve Bannon, Pete Hegseth, etc.

But those flunkies never managed to succeed the bully. Even in Heathers, it didn't quite work. Then again, that film's real villain was also named J.D.

Vance is a complete phony, always re-inventing himself to please whoever can help him. That's one thing he has in common with Trump: Trump takes the last thing somebody told him that he liked -- whether it's "Wind power causes cancer," or "The immigrants are eating the dogs, they're eating the cats," or something else that's too fucking stupid to take seriously -- and then he tells the media, often preceding it with, "You know, a lot of people are saying... " when he only heard it from one person.

The current rumor is that the Republicans will wait to allow Trump to be removed through impeachment sometime after the midpoint of his term, January 20, 2027, so that the conditions of the 22nd Amendment will allow Vance -- who, at age 42, would be the youngest President ever, breaking Theodore Roosevelt's record, as long as he takes office before June 20, 2027 -- to run for a full 1st term in 2028 and a full 2nd term in 2032.

The problem with that is, the Democrats are almost certainly going to take the House of Representatives in this November's election. They have a much less likely chance of taking the Senate. But impeachment not long after the change of power on January 3, 2027 seems likely. Would they get enough Republican Senators to make 67, a 2/3rds majority, to remove him at that point? Or would they rely on the Cabinet to invoke Article 4 of the 25th Amendment, and remove him for unfitness, when Trump seems to have built a Cabinet based on loyalty, to guard against that very possibility?

We will see.

Rudolph vs. A Christmas Story

Peter Billingsley as adult Ralphie Parker in 1973,

from the 2022 film A Christmas Story Christmas,

the official sequel to the classic.

It just occurred to me: A Christmas Story is a better story than Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer -- especially the TV special version.

Rudolph tries to teach the lesson that, "If you're different, it's okay, and you might even get to use your difference for good, and be praised for it."

Except that's not the lesson it teaches. Instead, it teaches, "If you're different, the only way you'll get accepted is if you catch the luckiest of lucky breaks. And, even then, they won't apologize for having ridiculed you for your difference."

Contrast that with what A Christmas Story teaches:

* Guns are bad.

* It's okay to wear glasses. Indeed, if Ralphie wasn't wearing glasses, he would have shot his eye out. In other words...

* In spite of often seeming to be the enemy, sometimes, adults know what they're talking about, and should be trusted.

* Pushing merchandise on a kid is bad. In other words...

* Sometimes, adults can't be trusted.

* Kitsch is okay up to a point, but don't be tacky. (The leg lamp was tacky.)

* The only thing a bully respects is power. If you don't stand up to him, and show him you're stronger, he'll never stop. This story takes place in 1940, so the Scut Farkas storyline is an allegory for Hitler and the Nazis. Note that he has two pals, perhaps standing in for Mussolini and Hirohito. That may not have been the intention, but, having thought of it, now, I can't unsee it. The remake, set in 1973, proves the point: Farkas realized that he was a jerk, and became a better person. So, he wasn't Hitler, he was Germany.

* Profanity is not necessarily bad. Sometimes, it's even justifiable.

* If you do something wrong, own up to it. Don't blame someone else.

* Control your dog(s).

* A Chinese restaurant will always be a good backup plan.

* And, however flawed a family member might be in your eyes, family is important, especially during holidays.

50 Rules for 50 Years

Ziva David (Cote de Pablo): "Just to be clear: Are there any more of these 'Rules' I should be aware of?"

Leroy Jethro Gibbs (Mark Harmon): "About 50 of them."

Ziva: "Ha! And I don't suppose they're written down anywhere."

Gibbs: "Nope."

Ziva: "Then how am I supposed to -- "

Gibbs: "It's my job to teach them to you."

-- NCIS 

Gibbs Rule Number 7 is, "Always be specific when you lie." He broke his own Rule when he told Ziva that the Rules weren't written down and left it at that. He had them written down at his house.

Note: This post is a variation on one I wrote on a previous birthday: "Things I've Learned In My 1st 46 Years."

I turn 50 next week. Here are 50 rules I've learned from my 1st 50 years:

1. Family always sticks together. Desertion is treason. (This is a variation on a rule in The Godfather, spoken by Michael Corleone, played by Al Pacino, to his brother Fredo, played by John Cazale: "Don't ever take sides with anyone against the family.") 2. Never do anything only for the money. No matter how much it is. No matter how badly you need it. If you need the money that badly, you can find another reason to do it. 3. Anytime someone says, "It's not about (fill in the blank)," they're lying. 4. If you have to lie, make it a plausible lie. It shows you respect the person you're lying to, and thus raises less suspicion. 5. Courage is not the absence of fear, it's looking fear dead in the eye and saying, "To hell with you, I'm moving forward, and you won't stop me." 6. It's never too late to apologize. Corollary: It's never too late to forgive. 7. It's okay to rat someone out if it will save a life, but never if all that will be saved is money. 8. Always give the effort. People will forgive defeat if it looked like you cared enough to try to win. Corollary: If you can't win, at least make the winner feel as though his win wasn't worth the effort. 9. Better to trust a sincere fool than a smart liar. 10. If people think you're crazy or stupid, use it to your advantage before they can use it to theirs. (I like to call this the Dizzy Dean Rule.) 11. You don't need a third drink. Corollary: Drinks are like guns: If you think you need more than two, you've got a problem. 12. Admit it when you're wrong. 13. Coincidence is what the incurious believe in. 14. Never throw the first punch. Throw the next four. (From Billy Martin.) 15. There's no shame in a man admitting he's in over his head. (From Colonel Sherman T. Potter, played by Harry Morgan, on M*A*S*H.) 16. Never apologize for having told the truth. If the person you told the truth to can't handle it, that's their problem. 17. It's better to be called a coward by an asshole than to be revealed as an asshole by anyone. Corollary: Nothing is worth a triple-dog-dare. (A reference to Jean Shepherd's A Christmas Story.) 18. Love is worth a concession, but no kind of sex is worth making yourself look undignified in public. (A variant of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, written by group member Bob Gaudio and their producer, Bob Crewe: "No woman's worth crawling on the Earth, so walk like a man, my son.") 19. Never pick on a rookie when he's down. A veteran should be able to take a little ribbing. A rookie can't be expected to. 20. If you can keep your head about you while all others are losing theirs, maybe they know something that you need to know. (A variant of Rudyard Kipling: " ...while all others are losing theirs, and blaming you... yours is the world and all that's in it, and, what's more, you'll be a man, my son!") 21. Be the underestimated, never the underestimator. 22. If life hands you lemonade, drink it, before someone turns it back into lemons. 23. Never blame on malice what you can blame on incompetence. (This, and variations on it, are called "Hanlon's Razor," and have been attributed to Robert J. Hanlon, Robert A. Heinlein, Bernard Ingham, Napoleon Bonaparte and Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.) 24. If the music don't sound good, who cares what the picture looks like? (From Ray Charles, in a 1984 commercial for Pioneer laserdisc players.) This comes with what I call the Hooters Corollary: If the food don't taste good, it doesn't matter how the server is dressed. 25. Sometimes, paranoia is justified. 26. Always look busy, so they won't know that you're fooling around. (A variant of George Costanza on Seinfeld: "If you look annoyed, people will assume that you're busy.") 27. You don't have to understand women. You only have to understand one woman. 28. Never remind a woman that you were right and she was wrong. Even if you were right, reminding her of that just makes you wrong-squared. Which is worse than doubly wrong. 29. Never talk on the phone in the bathroom. It's like you're pissing on the other person's shoes. 30. Never shut up, or the other side will be the only one heard. Some people will say this violates one of their rules: "Don't speak unless it will improve the silence." But if your words won't stand up for your cause, whose words will? On the other hand, sometimes, it is better not to speak: 31. Forgetting when to keep the truth to yourself can be as damaging as getting caught in a lie. Another one related to the preceding 2: 32. There will be times when neither you nor an ally is the best spokesman for your own opinion. Corollary: Not every person in your party is an ally, and not every person in the other party is an enemy. Another Corollary: Better to trust a principled member of the other party than an unprincipled member of your own. Counterpoint: Sometimes, a good message comes from a messenger you won't like. 33. Have a heart of gold, but never at the cost of a spine of steel. 34. Never let the desire for perfection interfere with your ability to do good. (Sometimes written as, "Never let the perfect be the enemy of the good." Originally, "The better is the enemy of the good," from Voltaire. Also known as "settling for half a loaf.") 35. It's not the crime that gets you, it's the cover-up. (Variations of this go back to Watergate.) 36. When a politician resigns his office, or announces he's not running for re-election, "to spend more time with my family," it's code for, "I did something wrong, and my wife found out about it, and I have to make it up to her." 37. If you're not in favor of government spending for universal health care, you are NOT "pro-life."

38. Never accept an apology from someone who's only sorry he got caught. 

39. Never go to bed with someone that you're not willing to have breakfast with the next morning.

40. Never draw your weapon, unless you're willing to use it. (This one can be traced back at least as far as Richard Boone playing Paladin on Have Gun -- Will Travel.)

41. When you walk into a room, look around, and see if you can see a sucker. If you can't, walk out of the room, because the sucker is you. (I think this one came from Nelson Algren.)

42. Anybody who says sports is war has never been in a war. (From Bob Feller.)

43. Sports may be a microcosm of life, but it's not life and death. Corollary: Your team's successes and failures are not tied in with your own. (From Nick Hornby.)

44. Your season may have ended badly, but there's always another season. (Also from Hornby.)

45. Sports, or anything else you might be interested in, isn't something that anyone else can understand, unless they also belong. (Also from Hornby.)

46. If a child that is not your own believes in Santa Claus, let them. If the child is not yours, then explaining how St. Nicholas was turned into Santa Claus is not your call.

47. Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end. (From Leonard Nimoy, in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.)

48. It's not important that you are the one who does something. What is important is that it is done. (From Reggie Jackson.)

49. Anything worth doing is worth doing with a full heart. If you can't, don't do it.

This last one might be the most important:

50. If a little girl wants you to play with her, do it. She won't remember it when she's ten, but it's not just for her. It's for you.