Eighteen Innings. And What Did We Get?

The longest baseball game I've ever seen live was 15 innings. Well, 18, if you count the Old-Timers' Game before it. It was July 11, 1987, at the old Yankee Stadium. Catfish Hunter, 41 years old, was painting the corners the way he used to. Made sense, he'd had 8 years' rest.

It was the first time players I'd grown up watching played in an Old-Timers' Game, and that creeped me out. Two of "my Yankees" were still playing in the regular game. Willie Randolph didn't do much. Ron Guidry struck out 14 batters, but couldn't finish the 7th inning. The bullpen held off the Chicago White Sox as long as it could, but the Pale Hose scored 3 in the top of the 15th, and that was it: Yankees lose, 5-2.

The longest game I'd ever seen on TV was 19 innings, the Mets-Braves epic in Atlanta on July 4, 1985, the Rick Camp Game. I watched it on Channel 9, then WOR, with Ralph Kiner, Tim McCarver and Steve Zabriskie. Little did I know that, doing the game for the Braves on WTBS, was John Sterling. The Mets finally won it, 16-13.

The longest Yankee game I'd ever seen on TV was 17 innings, in the magical season of 1978. Unfortunately, there was nothing magic about that one: It was at home, against the Boston Red Sox, and after 14 innings, the game was suspended due to the American League's curfew: No inning can start after 1:00 AM. (That rule no longer stands.)

The game was resumed the next night, August 3, and Boston hit 4 singles off Ken Clay in the top of the 17th to win it, 7-5. My man Reggie Jackson went 0-for-7. So did Cliff Johnson, catching that night to give aching Thurman Munson some relief. It didn't work: Thurm was the DH that day, and he went 1-for-7. (He was still better off that day than he was exactly 1 year later.) Then the Sox took the night's regularly-scheduled game, too, 8-1, smacking Jim Beattie and Paul Lindblad and making a winner of Mike Torrez. And seemingly ending that year's AL East race. (Little did we know... )

Just a few days ago, the Mets lost to the Miami Marlins in 20 innings.

*

And then came yesterday's season finale in Oakland, with the Athletics already having taken the 1st 2 games against the Yankees. It was a 12:30 PM Pacific Time start, meaning 3:30 Eastern Time. No help for anyone there, although it looked like it was a beautiful day for a game. (Which isn't all that common in Oakland: They got a lot of the drawbacks of living in the San Francisco Bay Area, including the weird weather, and few of the perks and little of the glamour.)

To paraphrase Tennessee Ernie Ford: Yesterday the Yankees played 18 innings, and what did we get? Another day older and deeper in debt.

As with last year's postseason against Baltimore and Detroit, we certainly can't blame the pitching. Hiroki Kuroda started and allowed just 2 runs, 2 hits and 2 walks over 8 innings. David Robertson was a little shaky in the 9th, but struck out the side. Between them, Boone Logan and Shawn Kelley managed to not screw up the 10th.

Adam Warren had what would usually be considered a "quality start." Except it started in the 11th inning. He threw 85 pitches, and, as Paul Sullivan of Sully Baseball (a pretty keen observer so don't hold it against him that he's a Red Sox fan) pointed out, every single one of those 85 pitches could have ended the game in defeat for his team. None of them did.

Warren pitched the 11th, the 12th, the 13th and the 14th like nobody's business. At which point, YES Network announcer Michael Kay said, "You want free baseball? You got it!"

No, I don't want free baseball! I want winning baseball! If I just wanted the game, I could've rooted for that other team!

Warren got into serious trouble in the 15th, and I thought, "It would be a damn shame if Girardi left him in too long, and he got tired, and he ended up the losing pitcher because of that." The A's had Brandon Moss on 2nd and Josh Reddick on 1st with 1 out. The batter was Coco Crisp, who's hit the Yankees well for a long time. And, sure enough, Crisp got a hit, a single to left.

"Well, that's it, game over," I thought. Except Vernon Wells threw home, catcher Chris Stewart got the ball and blocked the plate, and Moss was out. Then Warren found something deep within his character and struck out Adam Rosales to end the threat.

Then I began to wonder if Joe Girardi's Binders Full of Strategies had any contingencies for games that lasted longer than 15 innings, because he left Warren in for the 16th. Warren got the 1st 2 outs, then allowed a single and a walk, before Nate Freiman hit a liner to right. Ichiro Suzuki slipped, but caught the ball anyway. I yelled out a profanity at Ichiro and added, "We don't need that kind of drama!"

Girardi took Warren off the hook, and sent Preston Claiborne out to pitch the 17th. Flyout, flyout, single, strikeout.

After all this good pitching, you'd think the Yankees would have given their pitchers the gratitude of scoring at least 3 runs. Yeah, well, you would think, but you'd be wrong.

Brett Gardner led off the game with a double. Jayson Nixon hit a line drive that A's shortstop Jed Lowrie caught. Then Robinson Cano hit his 16th home run of the season, to make it 2-0 Yankees.

Over the next 17 2/3 innings, the Yankees sent 67 batters to the plate. They got 8 hits and 7 walks. Zero runs.

Let me spell that out: Sixty-seven batters, no runs.

The worst offenders:

* Travis Hafner, 0-for-8, including 3 strikeouts, and 7 men left on base.

* Vernon Wells, 0-for-8, including 3 strikeouts, and 3 men left on base, although he did make that great throw in the 15th to keep the game alive.

* Kevin Youkilis, 0-for-7, including 3 strikeouts, and 6 LOB.

* Mark Teixeira, 0-for-5, including 3 strikeouts, and 4 LOB, though he did draw 2 walks.

* Chris Stewart, 1-for-6, including a strikeout, and 2 LOB, though he did have that great plate-block in the 15th.

* And the 2nd spot in the order: Between them, Jayson Nix, Lyle Overbay and Reid Brignac were 1-for-8 with a strikeout and 5 LOB.

Essentially, this is the kind of game people were fearing they would repeatedly see, when they saw in Spring Training that we would, through injuries, be missing Alex Rodriguez and Curtis Granderson, and also Teix who could once again, once he came back, go into the traditional Yankee 1st baseman's role (which predates even Don Mattingly) of getting off to a slow start (he's now batting .163).

I began to wonder if I was going to get a text message from the Yankees:

"We're so sorry, Uncle Michael, but we haven't hit a bloody thing all day!"

In the bottom of the 18th, Claiborne got Derek Norris to ground out, but allowed a single to John Jaso. In this case, the right thing to do would have been to give him at least 1 more batter, to see if he could get out of it.

But Girardi consulted his Binders Full of Strategies, and he brought in Mariano Rivera to relieve in the bottom of the 18th inning of a tie game. Andy Pettitte, scheduled to be tonight's starter in the opener of a series in Anaheim against the "Los Angeles" Angels, was sent out to the bullpen, just in case someone was needed to pitch a bottom of the 19th.

I remember saying, "I don't like this... " I saw someone on Twitter invoke the old Star Wars line: "I've got a bad feeling about this!"

Mo allowed a single to Seth Smith. Jaso got to 3rd. 1st & 3rd, 1 out. Girardi told Mo to intentionally walk Lowrie to load the bases and set up a double (or at least a force) play.

No use. Freiman hit a weak liner to left, and Wells had no chance at it. Ballgame.  A's 3, Yankees 2.

WP: Jesse Chavez (1-0). LP: Claiborne (0-1), though he hardly deserved to be assessed the loss. Nor did Mo.

It was a long day's journey into numbness.

Tonight, at 10:05 PM our time, the Yankees send Pettitte out to face the Angels. Their pitcher is C.J. Wilson, whom you'll remember giving us trouble in the 2010 ALCS with the Texas Rangers.

At this point, I could live with it if the Yankees lost 9-8. Or even 13-7. (Sorry, Andy.) At this point, I could take a 13-7 loss a lot easier than I could take one that was 2-1.

Game of Moans

I would like to discuss yesterday's 4-3 win by the U.S. soccer team over Germany in Washington. I would like to, but I can't, not yet.

I have to discuss an awful weekend series for the Yankees against The Scum.

Friday night: Mark Teixeira and Kevin Youkilis returned to the lineup for the Yankees, Teix after missing the entire season thus far, Youk after missing a month.

Teix led off the bottom of the 2nd with a walk. Vernon Wells doubled, and we all remembered how slow Teix is, since he only got to 3rd instead of scoring. Jayson Nix singled him home. After David Adams struck out, Ichiro Suzuki singled home Wells. 2-0 Yankees.

Adams led off the bottom of the 5th by getting hit with a pitch. Ichiro grounded into a force play, as Adams was clearly out at 2nd. For whatever reason, Joe Girardi's Binder told him, "In such a case, argue with the umpire, and get yourself thrown out of the game."

It was totally pointless, but the fans loved it, as they're used to Girardi, and before him Joe Torre, just sitting there like a passive waste when the Red Sox cheat and headhunt or the umpires screw us. Except there was no cheating, the HBP was hardly intentional -- you don't want to put the leadoff man on -- and the correct call was made.

Anyway, Chris Stewart drew a walk, Brett Gardner struck out, and then Youk singled to left to drive in Ichiro. 3-0 Yankees.

After a Mike Napoli double in the top of the 7th, the Yankees took the run back in the bottom of the inning. With 1 out, Ichiro, Stewart and Gardner singled in succession, to provide the final score.

4-1! We beat The Scum 4-1! We beat The Scum 4-1! We beat The Scum 4-1!

WP: CC Sabathia, who was great again (5-4). SV: Mariano Rivera (19). LP: Jon Lester (6-2).

*

But Saturday night was horrible. In fact, on the radio this morning, someone described these 3 games as "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly." Well, he was a little off: It was Saturday that was ugly, and last night merely bad.

It's unfair to say that, again, Phil Hughes "compwetewy impwoded." But it's getting to the point where "one bad inning" is turning more and more of his games into "one bad game."

His one bad inning was the top of the 3rd. He gave up a leadoff double to Jackie Bradley Jr., a single to Daniel Nava, and another double to Mike Carp. Then he struck out Dustin Pedroia. Men on 2nd and 3rd, 1 out. Man on 3rd with less than 2 out, and 1st base open.

The batter was David Ortiz. Big Papi. The biggest Yankee Killer of all time, and not just because of his waistline. You don't need Girardi's binder to know that the right move is to walk the big fat lying cheating bastard.

That brought up Napoli. Unfortunately, Hughes threw him a meatball, and it flew over the right-center-field fence for a grand slam. 5-0 Red Sox.

The rest of the game was just a formality, but it did get worse. The Yankees got a run in the 4th, but the Sox scored 3 runs in the 8th and 3 more in the 9th to make it 11-1.

WP: Felix Doubront (4-2). No save. LP: Hughes (2-4).

For all my defenses of Hughes, it is now looking like he may be done for as a Yankee. His current contract runs out at the end of the season, and, although he's helped us win a World Series and given us an 18-win season, with the pitching prospects the Yankees have, it seems unlikely he'll be in Pinstripes on Opening Day next season.

But I still wouldn't have put him in a trade package for Johan Santana. Hughes did help us win a title.

*

Then came last night's game. Eventually. Look, everybody knew the weather report. They should've just moved the game up to 1:00 like a normal Sunday game, or called it off before throwing a pitch and rescheduled it for later in the season. After all, what has ESPN ever done for the Yankees except badmouth us? We should play a game at an inconvenient time just to suit them? Bump that!

After an initial delay, the game, meant to start at 8:00, started at 8:50. But the Yankees never got off the ground. Clay Buchholz, looking like Richard Nixon's nastiest idea of a hippie, allowed only 2 hits in 5 innings, before being removed after the 2nd rain delay.

In contrast, Hiroki Kuroda was not his usual strong self, allowing single runs in the 4th, 5th and 6th innings, before being removed for Boone Logan in the 6th. In the bottom of the 6th, the game was stopped for a 3rd delay, and the umps called it.

Red Sox 3, Yankees 0.  P: Buchholz (8-0 -- no, that's not a typo, he's won eight and lost none this season). No save. LP: Kuroda (6-4).

It's one thing to lose fair and square, like we did on Saturday night. But last night, the Yankees got screwed. By ESPN and the umps. There's no way that game should have been played -- especially once the rain first started.

I don't care what you saw on Game of Thrones: This was the most horrible thing on television last night.

And I don't care what you saw on Keeping Up with the Kardashians: The Sox are more hideous than anything Kim wears in order to still look sexy while pregnant.

Am I moaning? And not in a good way? Yeah. It's my blog, and I'll moan if I want to.

The Cleveland Indians, with ex-Yankee Nick Swisher and last year's Baltimore Oriole tormentor Nick Reynolds in tow, come to town for 3, starting tonight. Andy Pettitte returns from the Disabled List, and will be opposed by Justin Masterson, who beat the Yankees on May 13 in Cleveland.

Yankees Drink Jobu's Milkshake

Is very bad... to steal Jobu's rum. Is VERY bad.
-- Pedro Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert), Major League

My straw reaches... acrooooooooss the the room... and starts to drink your milkshake. I -- drink -- your... milkshake! Slurrrrrrrrp! I drink it up!
-- Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis), There Will Be Blood

In their last 2 games, against the Cleveland Indians, the Yankees have scored 25 runs. They have stolen Jobu's rum. They have drunk his milkshake. They have cleaned his clock. They have fixed his wagon. They have mopped the floor with him.

Am I getting a little worked up over a Playoff game that the Yankees lost to the Indians in a movie that came out 24 years ago?

More like, The Yankees got off to a bad start, and I'm now enjoying what's happened since.

Throw in the finale of their Detroit series on Sunday, and since starting the season 1-4, just like in 1998, the Yankees have scored 32 runs in their last 3 games. How do those "Party like it's 1998" jokes look now?

Actually, the Yankees didn't have the most runs in baseball last night: The Houston Astros, losers of 106 games last year and 107 the year before, and starting off 1-6 in this, their 1st season in the American League after 52 seasons in the National League, scored 16 runs against the Seattle Mariners -- and needed a lot of them, since the M's scored 9.

Now, the way Andy Pettitte (2-0) was pitching last night, the Yankees didn't need a whole lot of runs. The Hooded Hawk went 7, allowing 1 run on 5 hits and 3 walks. In his 1st 2 starts of the season, his ERA is 1.20. He'll be 41 next month. Adam Warren pitched the last 2 innings, scoreless. He'll be 26 in August, and looks like a good one. (UPDATE: Shows what I knew... )

The Yankees only needed 2 runs. But I'm glad they got 14. Indians starter Carlos Carrasco (0-1) didn't get out of the 4th inning. Of course, that was because he got thrown out of the game for hitting Kevin Youkilis with a pitch.

So that's how you get an umpire to throw an opposing pitcher out of the game for hitting one of your guys: Make Youkilis one of your guys. As those dumb brewers (the Dublin kind, not the Milwaukee kind) said in those Guinness commercials, "Brilliant!"

In fact, facts to back up an opinion, let's look at those "old guys" that Brian Cashman picked up as "emergency" acquisitions:

Youkilis: Last night, 1-for-3, home run (after he was plunked, not before), 2 RBIs; season, OPS 1.141, 2 homers, 6 RBIs.

Lyle Overbay: Last night, 3-for-5, solo home run; season, .704, 1 homer, 5 RBIs.

Vernon Wells: Last night, 1-for-4; season, 1.187, 2 homers, 4 RBIs.

Travis Hafner: Last night, 0-for-4; but for the season, .975, 2 homers, 6 RBIs.

Brennan Boesch: Last night, only one at-bat, as a pinch-hitter for Hafner, but he hit a 2-run home run, his first as a Yankee; season, .917, 1 homer, 2 RBIs.

But the big star last night was the established Robinson Cano: 4-for-6, 2 homers (now with 3 on the year), and 5 RBIs (7 on the year). Like I said yesterday: Slump? What slump? Do you see a slump? I don't see a slump.

Brett Gardner went 4-for-5 with 2 RBIs. Francisco Cervelli -- did somebody say the Yankees don't have a catcher? -- went 2-for-4 with an RBI, and has an OPS of 1.064. Ichiro Suzuki went just 1-for-5, but the 1 was a homer.

Yankees 14, Indians 1.  Last 3 games, Yankees 25, Opponents 7. This, without Derek Jeter, without Alex Rodriguez, without Mark Teixeira, without Curtis Granderson.

The series with the Indians concludes tonight at 7:00. Ivan Nova starts against an Indians starter yet to be announced. Their pitchers are probably turning John Fogerty's "Centerfield" on its head: "Don't put me in coach, I'm not ready to pitch! Son of a bitch... "

*

The Yankees also re-signed Clay Rapada, apparently aware that, A, they need a lefthanded reliever; and, B, Boone Logan can't pitch.

So let's look at the standings: The Yankees are 4-4, a game and a half behind the Boston Red Sox at 5-2. The Baltimore Orioles are 3-4, 2 back. The Tampa Bay Rays are 3-5, 2 1/2 back. And the Toronto Blue Jays are 2-5, 3 back.

Yeah, about those pesky Blue Jays, the team everyone said was going to win the AL East. Here's the ERAs for their starting pitchers: New acquisitions Mark Buehrle, 10.13 (admittedly, only 1 start, but it was a bad one); new acquisition R.A. Dickey, 8.44; Brendan Morrow (who got shelled last night), 5.59; new acquisition Josh Johnson, 4.50 (admittedly, only 1 start, but it wasn't all that good, either). So far, the only man to start and win a game for the Jays is J.A. Happ, whose ERA is 0.00.

We all heard that the Jays should be favored because they got all those new pitchers. Maybe they should've got some who aren't washed-up. Or maybe they forgot the lesson the Yankees learned (hopefully) when they got Javier Vazquez (twice), Kevin Brown and Carl Pavano: NL pitchers can't handle the AL East.

Now, I realize, the Jays have 155 games to go (as do the Sox and O's, while the Yanks and Rays have 154 left). But, as I've demonstrated here before, going back to the start of Divisional Play in 1969, the average win total for the 2nd place team in the AL East is 92 wins. This means it takes 93 wins to win the Division in an average year. The Jays would have to go 91-66 the rest of the way -- a 95-win pace. The Yankees, now 4-4, would have to go 89-69, a 94-win pace.

The Jays don't know that their pitchers are going to come around. The Yankees don't know what DJ3K, A-Rod, Teix and Grandy are going to be like when they come back, and they don't even know for sure that A-Rod is coming back; but they do know that DJ3K, Teix and Grandy are coming back.

Then, of course, there's the other teams: The O's don't look like they're building on last season's Playoff berth, the Rays look like they may finally be ready to go back to the doldrums where they belong, and then there's the matter of The Scum.

Yesterday was the 85th Birthday of Tom Lehrer, the great musical satirist, who wrote "The Elements," "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park," "The Masochism Tango," "Proud to Be a Soldier" (which the 1969 Houston ballclub turned into "Proud to Be an Astro," according to Jim Bouton's book Ball Four), and the nuclear war song "We Will All Go Together When We Go."

He wrote for That Was the Week That Was (a.k.a. "TW3") and The Electric Company (which I didn't know at the time, I'd loved his songs since I was 5 and didn't know it until about 30 years after the fact). He said, "Political satire become obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize."

Here's what he had to say about Boston, which I like as a city, but whose sports teams sicken me:

*

April 10, 1913, 100 years ago today: The New York Yankees, no longer the Highlanders, play their 1st game officially using the name by which they have been known ever since. As with the franchise's 1st game period, its 1st home game, and its last game as the Highlanders, the opponent is the Washington Senators. With President Woodrow Wilson throwing out the first ball at National Park (which will later be renamed Griffith Stadium), the Senators beat the Yankees, 2-1.

Walter Johnson, starting on Opening Day as he usually does for the Senators, allows a run, but begins a streak of 56 consecutive scoreless innings, a record that will stand for 55 years and has only been topped twice since.

April 10, 1953, 60 years ago today: The New York Knicks become the 1st team to lose the NBA Finals in 3 straight seasons, falling 91-84 in Game 5 against the Minneapolis Lakers, who win their 4th Championship. Losing 3 straight Finals will not happen again until 1970, when it is the Los Angeles Lakers who do it – against the Knicks, who win their 1st Championship. No other team has lost the Finals 3 years in a row.

However, last night, the Knicks clinched their 1st Atlantic Division title since 1994. They've won a grand total of 1 Playoff game since 2001. Can they go further? We'll see.

*

On a note that won't make anyone smile, one of my first readers, Larry Novak, passed away this week, due to heart trouble. He will be missed.

I actually knew 2 Larry Novaks, another being a classmate of mine at East Brunswick High School, a member of our 1984-85 Playoff football teams and our 1986 County Champion baseball team. The one who died was a bit older.

Now whatever pain he had is over, and he's got the best seat in the house, for any game he wants.

It's Boone Logan, I Could Cry

On August 23, 2011, I wrote this:

Remember Felix Heredia? A not-so-good relief pitcher for the Cubs in the early 2000s, the Yankees claimed him off waivers in late 2003, and he blew a few games for the Yankees in 2004. I said then that his name sounded like a skin condition. "The Heartbreak of Psoriasis" had nothing on The Hearbreak of Felixheredia. Somebody on a message board I was on then noted that not only was Heredia throwing meatballs, but he WAS a meatball. So, noting that he was a reliever rather than a starter, I started calling him the Meatball Sub. 

The Yankees released Heredia after the 2004 season -- ironically, in that ALCS collapse against The Scum, he was fine, pitching to 4 batters and only allowing 1 of them to reach base, and he didn't score -- and he pitched in only 3 more major league games. All for the 2005 Mets. He was done at 30. Even being a lefty specialist -- or a Lefty One Out GuY, or LOOGY -- didn't save the Dominican. 

Boone Logan has an acute case of felixheredia. He has followed in the footsteps of Bob Shirley, Greg Cadaret, Tim Stoddard, Brian Boehringer, Tanyon Sturze (a.k.a. Sturtze So Bad), Scott Proctor, and Kerosene Kyle Farnsworth as a Meatball Sub. 

The classic definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result." 

Logan is now directly responsible for 6 Yankee losses this season: April 5 vs. Minnesota, May 7 at Texas, May 27 at Seattle, July 19 in Tampa Bay, July 23 vs. this same Oakland team, and last night. True, he was also responsible for a win in Boston. 

But think about this: The Yankees are now tied for first with Boston, a game ahead in the loss column. If Logan had only blown HALF as many games as he has, we'd be 3 games up, 4 in the loss column, with 36 games to play. 

Boone Logan has proven that he does not belong on the New York Yankees. He must go. Before he reveals himself to be a Meatball Sub in a game considerably more important than last night's. 

Apparently, Joe Girardi didn't read that post. Instead, he reads his binder, which tells him that Boone Logan can pitch.

I use something else: My eyes. They tell me that BOONE LOGAN CANNOT FUCKING PITCH!

*

This afternoon, the Yankees began a 3-game series against the Tigers in Detroit.  Ivan Nova started, and he allowed single runs in each of the first 2 innings, then settled down.  In the top of the 5th, Brett Gardner scored on a wild pitch, with Robinson Cano advancing to 2nd. Then Kevin Youkilis hit his first Yankee home run, driving in Cano ahead of him. It was 3-2 Yankees.

But in the bottom of the 5th, Nova weakened. He allowed a single to Omar Infante and a walk to ex-Yankee prospect Austin Jackson, the big piece that we gave up in order to bring Curtis Granderson to New York. Girardi sent pitching coach Larry Rothschild to the mound to calm Nova down. At first, it worked, as he got Torii Hunter to ground into a double play. But then he hit Miguel Cabrera to make it 1st and 3rd with 2 out.

Girardi panicked, and pulled Nova, and brought in Logan. Look, the batter was Prince Fielder. Great power hitter, but a lefty, so we need a lefty, right? Not when the lefty is Boone Logan.

Logan threw Fielder 2 pitches. The first was a slider, for a called strike. As they used to say on the old Match Game, "Dumb Donald is so dumb!" "How dumb is he?" Logan is so dumb, his second pitch was a fastball, to one of the best fastball hitters in the game.

This ball is now being inspected by Canadian Customs agents, because it sailed out of Comerica Park, across the Detroit River, and into Windsor, Ontario.

5-3 Tigers. Fielder would later hit another homer, as would Alex Avila, and the final would be 8-3 Tigers.

WP: Doug Fister (1-0). SV: Drew Smyly (1 -- he got a save because it was only 5-3 when he came in). LP: Nova (0-1).

And yet, it was Logan who turned it from lead to deficit.

If Logan were righthanded, and producing the same results, he wouldn't be producing the same results.

Yeah, I know, that sounds like a Yogiism. But tell me I'm wrong!

If you're an Arsenal fan, Boone Logan is the Yankees' answer to Manuel Almunia.

Suddenly, releasing lefty reliever Clay Rapada looks like a mistake.

At any rate, Game 2 of this series is tomorrow, a 4:05 start because it's on Fox.  David Phelps starts against Max Scherzer.

I sure hope Phelps doesn't need lefty relief, because Girardi will once again...

To rewrite a Hank Williams classic:

Did you ever see a pitcher throw
a curve hit for long fly?
The subway train is hit by one.
It's Boone Logan, I could cry.

UPDATE: Phil Hughes has been activated from the Disabled List, and will start tomorrow. No word yet on who will be sent down or released to make room for him.

But, knowing Girardi, it won't be Logan.

Not a Good Way to Open the Season, Losing to The Scum

In 1936, the Yankees lost their season opener to the Washington Senators, 1-0.

In 1937, the Yankees lost another season opener to the Senators, 3-2.

In 1938, the Yankees lost their season opener to the Boston Red Sox -- not yet "The Scum" -- 3-2.

In 1947, the Yankees lost their season opener to the Philadelphia Athletics, 6-1.

In 1953, the Yankees lost another season opener to the A's, 5-0.

In 1961, the Yankees lost their season opener to the Minnesota Twins, 6-0.

In 1978, the Yankees lost their season opener to the Texas Rangers, 2-1.

In 1998, the Yankees not only lost their season opener to the Whatever They Were Calling Themselves That Year Angels of Anaheim, 4-1, but lost 4 of their 1st 5 games.

In 1999, the Yankees lost the season opener to the A's again, this time in Oakland, 5-3.

And in 2009, the Yankees lost the 1st 2 games of the season to the Baltimore Orioles, 10-5 and 7-5.

Each time, the Yankees won the World Series anyway.

In other words, the Yankees have won the World Series despite losing their 1rst game of the season more times than any other team except the St. Louis Cardinals have won the World Series, period. (11-10)

Somebody told me, borrowing the phrase of Rick Pitino, "1998 isn't walking through that door."

Yeah, but in 1998, we thought 1961 wasn't walking through that door.

*

Anyway, it's something hopeful to think about, and we need something hopeful to think about, after losing 8-2 to The Scum in the season opener at Yankee Stadium II.

CC Sabathia really only had 1 bad inning. Unfortunately, it was the 2nd, in which he allowed 4 runs, putting the  Yankees in a hole that a full Yankee lineup could have dug out of, presuming the bullpen (and by "the bullpen" I mean "Boone Fucking Logan") didn't blow it.

But Jon Lester did have it, and held the Yankees to 2 runs on 5 hits over the 1st 5 innings. Five Sox relievers held the Yankees scoreless, while 5 Yankee relievers were not quite their equal. David Phelps allowed a run, and while Logan, Shawn Kelley and Cody Eppley were okay, Joba Chamberlain pitched an awful 8th inning.

The Yankees' runs came in the 4th inning. Perhaps appropriately, ex-Scummer Kevin Youkilis led off with a double, and the also-much-maligned Vernon Wells drew a walk. After Ben Francisco (who?) popped up, Ichiro Suzuki singled to load the bases. (Youk didn't score, because, as Yogi Berra would say, even when he could run, he couldn't run.) Jayson Nix struck out, but Francisco Cervelli singled home Youk and Wells.

WP: Lester (1-0). LP: Sabathia (0-1). Attendance: 49,514, a sellout.

The Yankees had won their last 11 times when the 1st game of the season was also the home opener. They hadn't lost a 1st game of the season at home since 1982.

Following the traditional day off after Opening Day, the Yanks and Sox play again on Wednesday night, at 7:00. Hiroki Kuroda starts against Clay Buchholz.

Cashman Trying to Win a Pennant -- Just Not This Year's

Take a look at these statistics. Batting average, OPS+, home runs, RBIs:

Player A: .317, 132, 33, 117 -- plus 49 doubles
Player B: .372, 130, 8, 60 -- plus 36 stolen bases and a Gold Glove
Player C: .301, 122, 16, 87 -- plus 53 doubles
Player D: .308, 181, 42, 117
Player E: .312, 144, 29, 115 -- plus 43 doubles

Player A is Vernon Wells in 2003.  Indeed, the man shown in the picture above (photoshopped, so he'd look like he'd already been a Yankee) would have been a good player to have in any season from 2002 to 2006, plus 2008 and 2010.

Player B is Ichiro Suzuki in 2004, the year he set a new major league record for hits in a season, with 262, breaking George Sisler's record of 257 set in 1920. (By the way, Sisler died 40 years ago today, March 26, 1973. He was 80.)

Player C is Lyle Overbay in 2004.  Indeed, he woul dhave been a good player to have in any season from 2004 to 2010, before he started getting huryt.

Player D is Travis Hafner in 2006. Indeed, he would have been a good player to have in any season from 2004 to 2007, before he started getting hurt.

Player E is Kevin Youkilis in 2008. Indeed, he would have been a good player to have in any season from 2006 to 2011, before he got hurt.

*

Brian Cashman, building on the successes of Gene Michael and Bob Watson, built the Yankee World Champions of 1998, 1999, 2000 and 2009; the Pennant winners of 2001 and 2003; the Division Champions of 2002, '04, '05, '06, '11 and '12; and the Wild Card teams of 2007 and '10.

But lately, it seems like he's trying to win Pennants for seasons that have already come and gone.

I've joked that he's still trying to win the World Series he couldn't win in 2004. Looking at those 5 players, that's not quite true, but it's all too close. He got Ichiro last year. He's already gotten Youk and Pronk (Hafner). He's about to get Wells. And now, there's a rumor going around that Overbay is coming.

When Overbay was with the Pesky Blue Jays of Toronto, he always hit well against the Yankees. It was like the Yankees made the difference between his being a good player and his being an All-Star. But that's no reason to trade for a guy -- and if you doubt this, look up how the Yankees got Sparky Lyle.

Wells? According to David Schoenfield of ESPN:

Even if Wells can hit left-handers, why pay $13 million for that skill? The easiest thing to find in baseball is a right-handed corner outfielder who can hit lefties. There are guys in Triple-A who can do that for the league minimum. So the Yankees just acquired a hitter who was bad in 2007, bad in 2009, historically awful in 2011 (.248 OBP, lowest OBP by a full-time outfielder since 1904) and bad again in 2012.

I know Cashman has to make some deals, because the Yankees have more injuries than usual -- once again, the team seems to be turning into Arsenal.

But the deals he's been making? They don't look very promising.

This is going to be a long season.

I know, it's always a long season: "It's a marathon, not a sprint." Even when you win, it's a long season.

I'll tell you this: If we do what we did last year, get to the ALCS, and then fail to win the Pennant, after all this, the season is going to feel like a very long waste.

In the meantime, enjoy this little bit of Yankee glory: Epic Rap Battles of History's battle between Babe Ruth (Lloyd Ahlquist, a.k.a. Epic Lloyd) and Lance Armstrong (Peter Shukoff, a.k.a. Nice Peter).

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Yankees

In 1979, British writer Douglas Adams published The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the 1st in a series of science fiction novels that covered a continuing story -- not continuing on Earth, as our home planet is destroyed early in the 1st book. (Must be that wacky British sense of "humour.")

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the book-within-the-book, is known for its cover, featuring the words "Don't Panic":

It is said that despite its many glaring (and occasionally fatal) inaccuracies, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy itself has outsold the Encyclopedia Galactica because it is slightly cheaper, and because it has the words "DON'T PANIC" in large, friendly letters on the cover.

*

Yes, I am aware that Arsenal Football Club are mentioned early in the 1st book, right before the end of the world, which is regarded as a lucky break for them. (It must have been written before the 1979 FA Cup Final.)

But this is not about Arsenal (who, in the last week, won 2-0 away to both Bayern Munich, for all the competitive good that did, and Swansea City). This is about the 1st team I ever loved, and still the team that I love the most, the New York Yankees.

First base: Mark Teixeira has a wrist injury, and could be out until June, and could require surgery that will have him out for the season, and may even threaten his career. He is about to turn 33. His backup will be Travis Hafner, formerly a star with the Cleveland Indians. He'll be 36 in June.

Second base: Robinson Cano is entering his walk year, and the Steinbrenner Brothers may choose to save money by not re-signing him, when he is probably the team's best player.

Shortstop: Derek Jeter is returning from a nasty ankle injury. He will be 39 in June.

Third base: Alex Rodriguez, due to a hip injury, will not play until after the All-Star Break in July; due to a revival of the steroid cloud over him, he may never play for the Yankees again. He will be 38 in July. Slated to fill in for him is Kevin Youkilis. Forget, for a moment, that he was Scum: At the moment, what matters is that he isn't that good anymore. If Youk has to move over to 1st to fill in for Teix, or if either Youk or Hafner is the DH, the 3rd baseman will be Eduardo Nunez, a.k.a. "NunE5."

Left field: Brett Gardner is coming off an elbow injury that kept him out most of last season.

Center field: Curtis Granderson was hit by a pitch in spring training, and had his forearm broken. He is likely to be out until early May. Another former Detroit Tiger, Brennan Boesch, has been signed, and he's got some stick, but there's got to be a reason why the Tigers let him go.

Right field: Ichiro Suzuki is 39.

Catcher: What catcher? As Casey Stengel taught us, "You gotta have a catcher, or you're gonna have a lot of passed balls." Right now the choices are Francisco Cervelli (27 and a career backup), Chris Stewart (31 and a journeyman who's never stuck anywhere, probably due to having a .217 lifetime batting average ), and Austin Romine (22 with 8 career plate appearances in the major leagues, and, even in the minors, he wasn't hitting much).

Starting pitching: CC Sabathia can be counted on. But Andy Pettitte is 41, Hiroki Kuroda is 38, Phil Hughes and Ivan Nova have been inconsistent, and David Phelps is still largely an unknown quantity and may appear more in the bullpen anyway. Michael Pineda may never pitch again, and certainly won't appear in the majors until at least June. (On the other hand, while the Yankees desperately need a good catcher, Jesus Montero, the guy we traded to get Pineda, isn't exactly tearing up Safeco Field for the Seattle Mariners.)

Relief pitching: Mariano Rivera is back for one last season. Forget the injury, he's fine. Forget that he's 43 years old, he's Mariano Rivera. But his replacement as closer has still not been found. Rafael Soriano is gone, and he won't be missed. David Robertson could be the next closer, but he wasn't very good last season. The rest of the bullpen is iffy. Phelps did all right in a middle relief role, but I will never trust Boone Logan, and I have yet to fully trust Cody Eppley and Clay Rapada.

Competition: The Baltimore Orioles greatly improved last season. The Toronto Blue Jays made some key acquisitions, and look much improved. The Tampa Bay Rays have lost a bit of talent, but still have a bit. And the Boston Red Sox cannot be counted on to be as lousy as they were last season. And that's just in the American League Eastern Division.

It sure looks like the Yankees are doomed to their 1st non-Playoff season since 2008, only their 2nd in a full season since 1993.

It's easy to say, "To hell with that: We are the Yankees, and we will find a way to win." Well, it's hard to see a way through all that.

But you never know: Men have grown old waiting for the Yankees to fall apart, and gone bankrupt betting against them.

Confident? It's hard to be.

Still, we are the Yankees.

DON'T PANIC.

*

Hours until the Devils play again: 33, tomorrow night, home to the New York Rangers. Beat The Scum!

Hours until the Devils play another local rival: See the previous answer. Remaining "derby games" in this regular season: Monday, April 1, home to the Islanders; Thursday, April 18, away to Philadelphia; Sunday, April 21 and Saturday, April 27, both away to the Rangers.

Days until the U.S. National Soccer Team plays again: 4, this Friday, against Costa Rica in the last, "Hexagonal" round of CONCACAF World Cup Qualifiers, for the region that encompasses North America, Central America, and the Caribbean nations. The game will be played at Dick's Sporting Goods Park in the Denver suburb of Commerce City, Colorado, home ground of MLS' Colorado Rapids. A must-win if America is to qualify for the 2014 World Cup.


Days until the Red Bulls play again: 5, this Saturday, away to the Montreal Impact. Their home opener, against D.C. United (or, as Metro fans call them, "The D.C. Scum"), was a turgid 0-0 played in a constant snowfall that, thankfully, did not accumulate.


Days until Arsenal play another competitive match: 12, home to Reading. This week is a break from League play so that national teams can play 2 international matches, a.k.a. an "Interlull."

Days until the Red Bulls next play a "derby," against either the New England Revolution, the Philadelphia Union or D.C. United: 12, on Saturday, March 30, home to Philly.

Days until the Yankees play again: 14, on Monday, April 1, at 1:05 PM, at home at Yankee Stadium II, against the Boston Red Sox. Just 2 weeks. Beat The Scum!

Days until the next Yankees-Red Sox series begins: See the previous answer.

Days until the next North London Derby: Unknown, since next season's schedule won't be released until mid-June. The season will most likely open on the 3rd Saturday in August, in this case August 17, but it's been a long time since Arsenal vs. Tottenham was an early game (possibly 1988-89). But even if it is that early, that's 152 days.

Days until Rutgers plays football again: 164, on Thursday night, August 29, away to Fresno State University in California. A little over 5 months. The 1st home game of the 2013 season will be on Saturday, September 7, vs. Norfolk State. The schedule is far from complete, with only the first 4 games set, all nonconference games. The question marks surrounding the Big East, including Rutgers' own bolting for the Big Ten, have forced this.

Days until East Brunswick High School plays football again: Uncertain, since the 2013 schedule has not been released. But if the usual pattern holds, it will be on the 2nd Friday in September... which, next year, just so happens to be a Friday the 13th. Oy vey. Anyway, if that's the way it works out, then it's 179 days. Just 6 months.  nd when it does happen, it will be the first game they play without Marcus Borden as head coach since Thanksgiving Day 1982 (a loss to Colonia High of Woodbridge), as he has left the program. (Did he jump, or was he pushed? I don't know.)

Days until the next East Brunswick-Old Bridge Thanksgiving clash: 255. A little over 8 months.

Days until Super Bowl XLVIII at the Meadowlands: 321 (February 2, 2014). Under 11 months. 

Days until the next Winter Olympics, in Sochi, Russia: 326 (February 7, 2014).

Days until the next World Cup, in Brazil: 451 (June 12, 2014). Under 15 months.

Days until the next Summer Olympics, in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: 1,236 (August 5, 2016). Under 4 years.

Youkilis, a Yankee? What Have We Done to Deserve This?

Warning: This post contains foul language.  If you can't handle it, don't read it.

Kevin Youkilis is a Yankee? Kevin FUCKING Youkilis?

What have we done to deserve this?

Little Bill (Gene Hackman): "I don't deserve this!"
Munny (Clint Eastwood): "Deserve's got nothin' to do with it!"
-- Unforgiven

If they give that bastard the Number 20 that he wore with The Scum, the Number 20 worn with such honor on the Yankees by Tiny Bonham, Spec Shea, Bucky Dent and Jorge Posada, I am going to have one hell of a conniption. (Tiny and Spec are dead, and won't care. I suspect Bucky won't care, and maybe Jorge won't -- but I'll bet Laura Posada will.)

(UPDATE: He got Number 36. So it was an insult to Johnny Mize and David Cone.)

Lisa Swan of Subway Squawkers spoke for many of us, explaining why this deal is so sickening: Not because of what Youkilis can do if he's healthy (a massive if), but because of his inability to stay healthy, and his attitude, and the price of that attitude, and what his signing means for the Big Pinstriped Picture:

Hey, kids. Brian Cashman made history Tuesday! Thanks to his idiotic signing of Kevin Youkilis, the Yankees will be paying more for the third baseman spot in 2013 than any other team has ever paid for any other position in history! That's right, folks. The Yanks will be spending a mind-boggling $40 million year for third base next year, more than the Miami Marlins will be spending for their entire franchise's payroll.

And what are the Yanks getting for their money? ... Replacing an aging, expensive, injury-riddled third baseman with a bad hip, with another aging, expensive, injury-riddled third baseman with a bad hip. Not to mention that whole Red Sox thing. Good grief.

Only the Yanks would get "younger" (Youk will be 34 in March) with a player who misses 40 to 60 games a year, and who has been on the DL pretty much every year of his career. Only the Yankees would replace an overpaid, frequently-injured third baseman with an even more brittle version. And give him $12 million (!) to do so.

Not to mention that Youkilis is a jerk, and even his fellow Red Sox players long ago grew tired of his hissy fits after every strikeout. (And before you bring up Paul O'Neill, he acted like a baby, too, but he helped the Yankees get four rings. Youk won't be getting his own Yankeeography any time soon.)

"That whole Red Sox thing" has been overcome before. Sparing you the details of pre-Steinbrenner-ban acquisitions like Babe Ruth, Red Ruffing and Sparky Lyle, we had to accept Wade Boggs, Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon.

Now, except for his fling with Margot Adams, Boggs is a decent guy. Damon turned out to be one, once we stopped seeing him through the Fenway prism. Clemens was always a jackass, but we decided to ignore that for a while. All 3 worked out well for us: Boggs and Damon each helped us win a World Series we really needed, 1996 and 2009, respectively; while Clemens was a part of the 1999 and 2000 World Champions (just sorta along for the ride on the former, a key cog on the latter).

It's not just that Youk was a Red Sock. Or that he was a member of the 2007 Red Sox, a more hateful bunch of Scum than even the 2004 variety. After all, the '07 team had Super Punk, Josh Beckett, and the insanely annoying Jonathan Papelbon, as well as Youk with his whinging and his wiggling his candy ass. The 2007 Red Sox were so offensive (and I don't mean with the bats) that they made the 1993 Philllies "Macho Row" bunch look like gentlemen.

And, yes, the Sox did get tired of Youk's act, just as they finally got tired of the acts of Beckett, Papelbum, Pedro Martinez, Curt Schilling, Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and even "Manny Being Manny" Ramirez. (But not, as yet, John Lackey. Remember the Boston "Buffalo Heads"? I think Lackey may be the last of the "Fried Chicken Heads.")

And now this guy is a Yankee? Oy vey.

And if that were the worst of it, I would already agree with it 100 percent.  But, as Lisa continues: 

Yesterday, I heard over and over from Yankee fans trying to justify the trade about how this was the best Brian Cashman could do. What nonsense. I would have been happy with a rookie or role player who can play decent defense and can stay healthy. But the Yanks are more interested in big names for ratings on the YES Network than with having some nobody (the horror!) field the position. Of course, having somebody who could, you know, actually be a relevant player in 2013, not 2004, never figures into Cashman's equation. (Hey, Manny Ramirez is still out there; maybe Cash can sign him, too!) 

Don't give him any ideas, Lisa.

She concludes:

Brian (Fredo) Cashman will preen somewhere about what a great GM he is, putting this golden oldies team on the field. Good grief. I haven't had somebody join the team that I had such a visceral reaction to since Javy Vazquez Part Deux. This is worse. 

Guess what, folks? You can't count on the Yankees making the playoffs with this ancient crew just because they have in the past. Every single team in the AL East got better in the winter this year, except for the Yankees, who got worse (Rafael Soriano not being on this team will come back to bite them.) There's a reason my Sox fan friends are laughing over Youkilis being a Yankee -- they know what he is now. And the one-time .300+ hitter is not an All-Star third baseman anymore. He's slightly more relevant than Derek Lowe, but that's about it. Good grief.

Now, I have to disagree with her. I was actually willing to give Home Run Javy a second chance. I was wrong. I don't want to give Youkilis even a first chance.

Look, there's something to be said for, "This guy has hurt us before, let's get him now. Even if he doesn't work out well for us, at least he won't be hurting us anymore." It has worked before.

In 1946, the Yankees wanted to trade Joe Gordon, a great 2nd baseman, to the Cleveland Indians, for a pitcher. Joe DiMaggio told them the pitcher to get was Allie Reynolds. Why? Not because Reynolds had a great fastball (although he did), but that DiMaggio had trouble hitting him.

Well, without Reynolds to hit against, DiMaggio won the MVP in '47, could have won it in '48, and missed the 1st half of '49 but came on like gangbusters in the 2nd half.  Without DiMaggio to pitch to, Reynolds helped the Yankees win the Series in '47, '49, '50 and '51 -- and, after DiMaggio's retirement, '52 and '53. Joe D said to get this guy, and he became the ace of a team that won 5 straight World Series. (Sadly, he simply doesn't quite have the career stats to get into the Hall of Fame.)

In 1998, the Yankees signed Chili Davis. He'd driven the Yankees crazy for the Minnesota Twins and the California Angels (as that team was then known). He played the 1st 2 games of the season, then got hurt, and was out until August 17. At least he wasn't hurting us, right?

But when he did come back, he hit .291 the rest of the way. It didn't mean much, as the Yanks ran away with the title, although he hit .286 in both the ALCS and the World Series. In 1999, at age 39, he played a full season, and hit 25 doubles and 17 home runs, with 78 RBIs, helped the Yankees win another title, and retired. (Having hit 350 home runs, the 1st native of Jamaica to play in the major leagues is now the hitting instructor for the Oakland Athletics.)

And, of course, there were the acquisitions, for the 1993 season, of Boggs and Jimmy Key, who'd been a fantastic pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays. Key went 186-117 in just 12 full seasons in the majors, and really doesn't get the credit he deserves. Boggs was a good addition to the team that built toward the title and got it in 1996; Key was, well, a key addition.

Look, if Youkilis can do well for the Yankees, I'll hold my nose until he proves himself as such, and then accept him as one of us. I did that for Clemens. I did that for ex-Mets Darryl Strawberry, Dwight Gooden, David Cone, and, uh, Joe Torre.

But I don't think he'll do well for us. This is a big name being signed by a GM working for an ownership that, unlike those from whom the club was inherited, seems to care about profits and publicity more than winning. And the new acquisition is frequently injured and viewed as "foreign." With the results... 

The Yankees are starting to act more and more like Arsenal -- which got knocked out of the League Cup last night. By Bradford City. That's a League Two team. That's the English soccer equivalent of the Florida State League.

Come to think of it, Cashman and the Arsenal board are also acting like Lou Lamoriello with the New Jersey Devils -- when the Devils play, that is. (Gary Bettman, end the lockout, you bloody cunt!)

It's bad enough to root for one team that plays like this. But the 3 teams about whom I care the most, all playing like that? That is unacceptable.

Youkilis... As they say where Arsenal are based, "Fucking hell!"

UPDATE: Youkilis played 28 games for the Yankees in 2013, batted .219 with 2 home runs and 8 RBIs, got hurt in June, and never played in the major leagues again. He retired with a .281 lifetime batting average and 150 home runs -- about half of which seemed to come against the Yankees. He was a massive waste of money and time for the Yankees, but he goes down in history as a Red Sox hero -- if any Red Sox player from the post-Boggs era can be called a "hero."

What Does It Take to Make Baseball's Playoffs?

A while ago, I decided to find out how many games it took to win Major League Baseball's Divisions. I looked at the average number of games won by the second-place teams, and added one, and got my answer.

For the American League East, that average was 92 wins. It was 92 when I took it back to 1996, the first season of the three-divisions-plus-one-wild-card setup (the first one not shortened by a strike, anyway), and it remained 92 when I took it back to 1969, the first season of any kind of divisional play. Therefore, in those years, it took 93 wins to win the AL East.  That that this total was the average of the teams that did win, but that 93 wins would be enough to win the Division.

I saw a blog that suggested that, given current rosters and statistical projections, the Yankees would win 85 games in 2013 -- not enough to win the AL East or either of the 2 AL Wild Cards.

So I looked it up, looking at both Leagues from the debut of the Wild Card onward, 1996 to 2012.

In the American League, the average is 90 wins exactly. Even though the Oakland Athletics finished 2nd in the AL West in 2002, with 102 wins, behind the Seattle Mariners' AL record 116 wins, the win total of the best team that did not qualify for either their Division title or the Wild Card was the 86 of the Minnesota Twins. 102 to 86 is a huge dropoff, although the Twins finished a much smaller 6 games behind the Cleveland Indians for the AL Central. The Indians won 91 and the A's won 102, yet the Tribe won their Division and the A's didn't win theirs.

In the National League, the average is nearly 90: 89.588 wins. So, round it up to 90.

Now, this doesn't mean that, if the Yankees win 90 games, and no more, that they will make the Playoffs. Only that they would be likely to do so. After all, my 93-win projection was not enough this time, as both the Wild Card teams, the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, won 93, and neither won their Divisions: The Yankees won 95 and the A's won 94.

The Detroit Tigers won 88, but that was enough to win the AL Central. The NL Wild Cards were won by the Atlanta Braves, with 94, and the St. Louis Cardinals, with just 88.

Can the Yankees, as currently constituted, win 90 games? Possibly. Can they win 93? I don't know, I'm not optimistic about it.

We don't know who the starting catcher will be. Russell Martin has signed with the Pittsburgh Pirates, and general manager Brian Cashman didn't lift a finger to re-sign him. The remaining options are, for the moment, unappetizing.

We don't know how Alex Rodriguez is going to come back, and we don't know what the Yankees are going to do at 3rd base until he does. The thought of Kevin Youkilis as a Yankee makes my skin crawl. In the words of the immortal Abbott & Costello, "I don't know -- third base!"

We don't know how Mariano Rivera is going to come back. As good as he was before his injury, he's 43.

We don't know if Andy Pettitte has one more good year in him. As good as he was when healthy this past season, he'll turn 41 next season.

Too many question marks. I'm reminded of a sequence in a movie that premiered 20 years ago today, December 11, 1992, starring Manasquan High School Class of '54, Jack Nicholson, and Glen Ridge High School Class of '80, Tom Cruise:

Jessup: You want answers?
Kaffee: I think I'm entitled!
Jessup: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth!
Jessup: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

A Quick Weekend Wrapup

The Giants and Jets both won yesterday. The Jets went down to Jacksonville and beat the Jaguars, 17-10. The Jags needed it more than the Jets. The Jets are fighting to save a season -- probably a lost cause. But the Jags may be fighting to save the franchise, as, along with the Buffalo Bills and San Diego Chargers, they are considered one of the teams least likely to stay put.

They are 2-11, and what a year to have the worst record in the NFL and thus the 1st overall pick in the next year's draft: The year a freshman wins the Heisman Trophy.

It was Johnny Manziel of Texas A&M. He's a redshirt freshman, so he's got 3 years of eligibility left, but can come out for the draft after 2 more years -- meaning he can enter the 2015 NFL Draft.

The Giants took advantage of the New Orleans Saints' disarray, caused by the bounty scandal in the off-season, including the yearlong suspension of head coach Sean Payton, and beat them 52-27 at the Meadowlands. This enabled them to keep pace in the NFC East, 1 game ahead of the Washington Redskins and the Dallas Cowboys, who both won yesterday.

The Cowboys are dealing with the death of Jerry Brown, in a car crash, driven by his best friend, Josh Brent, who has been charged with drunk driving. This is the 2nd week in a row that an NFL player has died in shocking fashion on the Saturday before a game, following the Kansas City Chiefs' Jovan Belcher killing his girlfriend and then himself.

The Redskins are dealing with something far less, a knee injury to sure Rookie of the Year quarterback Robert Griffin III. But he should be back next week.

And I notice the season finale has the Cowboys and Redskins, arch-rivals despite the massive distance between them (1,366 miles), playing each other in Landover. A Playoff berth, or even the NFC East if the Giants stumble, could be on the line.

Despite hanging 52 on the Aints, the Giants did not have the highest scoring total of the weekend. As the great former WCBS-Channel 2 sports anchor Warner Wolf would say, "If you had the Cardinals and 57 points... you lost!" The Seattle Seahawks obliterated Arizona, 58-0.

This was on a December 9, almost on the anniversary of the biggest NFL blowout ever: December 8, 1940, Chicago Bears over Washington Redskins, 73-0. And that was in an NFL Championship Game, against Slingin' Sammy Baugh's Redskins, in Washington, no less (at Griffith Stadium), so it wasn't against a bad team. In contrast, the Cardinals are .500 (6-6-1) and fading fast, a shell of the team that went to the Super Bowl not that long ago.

*

Baseball. Mark Reynolds signed with the Cleveland Indians. The good news for the Yankees is that this player, who hit them hard for the Baltimore Orioles in September and October, will no longer be on a team that they have to face 18 times a year, as Interleague Play usually cuts down the number of games the Yankees play against the AL Central teams; and that it makes it unlikely that the Indians will sign Kevin Youkilis, meaning the Yankees could sign the bald bastard with the wiggly ass to hold down 3rd base until Ow-Rod returns from his latest surgery.

The bad news is, there's no guarantee he'll become a Yankee, the Los Angeles Dodgers (with Magic Johnson's megabucks) are interested in him, and even if the Yankees do get him, it's Kevin Youkilis. I learned to like Roger Clemens (which makes me feel dirty just thinking about it), but I don't want Youk on my team! Some principles are more important than winning.

Sadly, for Hank and Hal Steinbrenner, money seems to be just such a principle for them.

Maybe they're adopted.

*

Basketball. The Knicks keep winning. The Nets have now lost 4 in a row, getting smacked by the Milwaukee Bucks in Brooklyn last night.

Hockey: The NHL has now canceled all games through December 30.

Time is running out to get a solution.

Memo to Gary Bettman: Nobody ever bought a ticket to see an owner.

What's that, you say? Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux are owners now? Well, to hell with them. They are traitors to the game that made the rich and famous.

We want our hockey back.

Nova Falls Apart Again, and I Don't Like Youkilis

You would think that taking a 2-0 lead before ever throwing a pitch of your own would get you off to a win. That 2-0 lead, including Derek Jeter hitting the 1st pitch of the game out of the park (his 12th homer of the season), seemed to give the Yankees a lift in their game against the White Sox in Chicago last night.

Unfortunately, after winning 15 straight decisions over the last 2 seasons, Ivan Nova has now won only 1 of his last 8. He let the ChiSox tie the game in the 4th inning, let the bases get loaded, and then gave up a grand slam to a recent Chicago acquisition.

Which would be bad enough, but that new acquisition is former Red Sox star Kevin Youkilis.

I don't like him. Neither the change of team, nor the change of color in his Sox, has changed that.

White Sox 7, Yankees 3. WP: Former Minnesota Twins star Francisco Liriano, working his way back from nasty injuries (5-10). No save. LP: Nova (11-7).

Nova has got to turn this around, before we start calling him the Dominican A.J. Burnett.

The series with the White Sox concludes tonight, 8:10 our time (7:10 local time), with Phil Hughes starting for the Yankees, and Chris Sale for the home team.

The Yankees remain 4 games ahead of the Rays, who lost last night, but the Orioles won, to close within 5. The Magic Number to clinch the division, with the Rays' loss, dropped to 35.

Yanks Waste Opportunity to Beat The Scum; Derek Boogaard, 1982-2011

As you're aware, I love the New York Yankees. Which means I hate losing, and I hate the Boston Red Sox, and I especially hate losing to the Boston Red Sox.

The Scum.

Last night, a big 3-game series against The Scum began at Yankee Stadium II. Every series against them is big. If the Yankees ever clinch the AL East on September 1 and play the Red Sox in a series that closes on October 1, the October 1 game will still be big.

Clay Buchholz (4-3) held the Yanks to 2 runs on 5 hits through 7 innings. Bartolo Colon (2-2) held the Sox to 3 runs (2 earned) and 5 hits through 6, including an Adrian Gonzalez homer.

The Yanks could still have won it, but Joe Girardi's poor bullpen management blew it again. He brought Joba Chamberlain in to pitch the 7th. Why? Colon wasn't pitching badly. He'd thrown 103 pitches? So what? One more inning would have brought it up to, what, 120? 125? Your pitcher can't be a man if you don't let him!

Last night, Joba was not a man. He certainly was not the man. He gave up a homer to Kevin Youkilis (who is definitely not a man, he's a whiny bitch who has no problem with opponents getting purposely hit but becomes, as I said, a whiny bitch when it happens to him), and that made it 5-2 Scum.

And that made the difference. Russell Martin hit one out off a control-averse Daniel Bard in the bottom of the 8th to make it 5-3, and another run was scored off the execrable Jonathan Papelbon (6th save) in the bottom of the 9th to make it 5-4, but in both innings, the Yanks wasted opportunities for more runs. Nobody to blame but themselves, starting with the manager.

To make matters worse, Tampa Bay also won. The Yankees are now 2 games out of first place, 1 in the loss column.

Tonight, at 7:05, CC vs. Super Punk. The Yankees have to win.

It's the Red Sox. It's The Scum. The Yankees always have to win.

Jeter 2964 36
Rivera 572 29
A-Rod 619 144
Magic Number N/A

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A few minutes ago, I found out that Derek Boogaard of the New York Rangers, a Canadian of Dutch descent, died last night at age 28. Cause as yet unknown.

In spite of my contempt for his team, and his reputation as a player who could do nothing but fight, no one deserves this. I join the hockey world in offering my sympathy.

UPDATE: An autopsy revealed that he'd died from an accidental drug and alcohol overdose, and that he had chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), the brain damage that is often the result of frequent collisions in both football and hockey. He was cremated, so there is no gravesite.

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Manchester United got, you guessed it, a dodgy penalty awarded to them by, no, not Howard Webb; no, not Mike Dean; but by the other truly corrupt English referee, Phil Dowd, and Shrek Rooney slotted it home, to forge a 1-1 draw with Blackburn Rovers, and the Fergiebastards clinched their 19th championship in English league play, surpassing Liverpool's total of 18.

This is a bad thing.

Manchester City -- who, unlike United who play at a stadium called Old Trafford in the Borough of Trafford, actually play within the limits of the City of Manchester -- defeated Stoke City, the prototypical Dirty Northern Bastards, 1-0 to win the FA (Football Association) Cup at the new Wembley Stadium today.

This is a good thing, although I'm hardly a City fan. It is their first FA Cup win in my lifetime, since 1969, and their first trophy of any kind since the 1976 League Cup.

Stoke, who have not won a trophy of any kind since the 1972 League Cup, are the only surviving original member of England's Football League that has never won the FA Cup. Poor fucking babies.

Arsenal's last 2 games -- tomorrow, home to Aston Villa, and next Sunday at crosstown Fulham, are all but meaningless. But it will be a situation where manager Arsene Wenger will find out who wants to be there next season, and who's just collecting a fat paycheck.