The New Jersey Devils/Arsenal Connection

I'm often asked why I, as an American, support Arsenal, a soccer team that plays in Islington, a neighborhood on the north side of London in England.

When I first got interested in European soccer, I needed a team. Arsenal had one major advantage: They had, or had recently had, players whose names I recognized from recent World Cups. From France: Thierry Henry, Patrick Vieira, Robert Pires, Sylvain Wiltord. From the Netherlands: Dennis Bergkamp. From Germany: Jens Lehmann. From England: Sol Campbell and Ashley Cole.

But when I took a closer look at them, I noticed there were similarities to a team I already supported, the NHL's New Jersey Devils:

* Both the Devils and The Arsenal (the "The" is not official, but ingrained in the club's culture) wear red shirts with white trim.

* Both are for a neutral-zone trap that had many people calling them "boring," but was truly a misnomer, since they both also had quick-strike capability.

* Both were "United Nations" teams, not caring about a player's nationality, race, religion, or age: If they were good enough, they were old enough, and none of that other stuff mattered.

* Both had a renaissance in the mid-1990s, and stayed good through the late 2000s.

* Both had a genius general manager: The Devils had Lou Lamoriello, and The Arsenal had Arsène Wenger.

* And both were replacing what was, if not in truth then in practical fact, their original home venues. The Devils were moving out of the Continental Airlines Arena, a.k.a. the Brendan Byrne Arena, a.k.a. the Meadowlands Arena, the big drafty barn, with one inadequate level of concourse for two levels of seats, off the New Jersey Turnpike in East Rutherford, to the Prudential Center in downtown Newark.

While The Arsenal were leaving the Arsenal Stadium, a.k.a. Highbury, first used in 1913 and with end seating that was relatively new, but whose side stands had gone up in the 1930s and, while beautiful Art Deco masterpieces, limited seating capacity to a little over 38,000. They were moving 500 yards away, over a railroad line, to the Emirates Stadium, which would seat 60,000 people and be suitable for European Champions League matchdays.

I watched Arsenal play, and saw the red shirts, and saw the style of play, and said to myself, "This looks familiar. I know this team. This is my team." (It had also helped my understanding of soccer is played that I had finally begun to see it as "hockey on grass" -- not to be confused with field hockey.)

Eventually, though, other similarities kicked in. Unlike North American sports (since World War II, anyway), where the field boss is rarely also the business manager (sometimes it's tried in the NFL, but it doesn't work), soccer expects one man to do both jobs, and it is often too much for any one man, even one as savvy and as passionate as Wenger.

Because of having to pay off the construction debt for the new stadium, Wenger was forced to sell off several good players, turning Arsenal from 1 of the 2 best teams in England (along with Manchester United) into 1 of the 4 best (along with Man U, Liverpool and Chelsea -- with Liverpool since having dropped off and been replaced by Manchester City).

With the Devils, Lamoriello's hand was never financially forced until the end of the lockout in 2005, when the NHL's 1st salary cap kicked in. Before that, he seemed happy to cut good players loose because of their cost. But one big difference is that he changed head coaches as often as some of the big soccer teams do, whereas Wenger has been Arsenal's boss for 20 years now, since September 30, 1996.

Salary caps can be worked around, though. But the Devils don't seem to be willing to do that for a top scorer, especially after being burned the last time they did, with Russian diva Ilya Kovalchuk. Without a League-imposed salary cap, but with budget restrictions that finally seem to be coming to an end, Wenger seems unwilling to sign, as some fans say, "a world-class striker." Like Lou, who has finally left and been replaced by Ray Shero, Wenger is sometimes too stubborn for the team's good.

Arsenal had a Spanish midfielder named Cesc Fabregas, whom some people were calling the best young player in the world, but always got hurt. In 2011, he whined his way back to his hometown club, Barcelona. He even went on strike, lying about being injured to force a move. When he got his move, he was suddenly, magically healed. Yet many fans of the club forgave him, even now that he's gone to a team those fans despise, Chelsea. In this analogy, he's Kovalchuk and (until recently) Scott Gomez. (At least Fabregas didn't leave for money.)

At that point, Arsenal still had a Dutch forward named Robin van Persie, who looked like he was developing into that "world-class striker," despite countless injuries, through which Wenger stood by him. He wanted more money, and he wanted the team to change its philosophy to go all in, do whatever it took to win now, instead of building for the future. But while he was doing that, he went all-out in 2011-12, did his damnedest, and honored his contract. 

Only at the end of that season did he make public his demand to be sold, which he got. He's "Judas," "Robin van Rat," "the Dutch Skunk." He's despised. He's not forgiven, but Fabregas is. In this analogy, van Persie is Zach Parise (the names are even similar-sounding).

Of course, van Persie didn't have the kind of family excuse that Parise had. Nevertheless, like with Parise, I don't see too many people wanting van Persie back. (Of course, at this point, van Persie is pretty much washed-up.) In contrast, when Fabregas wasn't reacquired, there was weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth and rending of garments and cursing of the manager. Will the Devils do the same if the Devils have the chance to bring back Kovalbucks, and they don't do it?

Another connection is the songs. Soccer fans rewrite famous songs for their players, and I've done that with the Devils. To the Christmas carol, "The First Noel," they've sung, "Born is the Ki-ing of Hi-igh-bur-y!" for Charlie George in the early 1970s ("Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie... "), Liam Brady in the late 1970s ("Brady, Brady... "), and for Henry in the 2000s. With Martin Brodeur, I did, "Marty, Marty, Marty, Marty! Born is the Ki-ing of New-ew Jer-sey!" Or, once the new arena opened in 2007, "Brodeur, Brodeur, Brodeur, Brodeur! Born is the King of Pru-den-tial Cen-ter!"

Arsenal forward George became famous for his extra-time goal that won the 1971 FA Cup, just as the musical Jesus Christ Superstar was hitting the London stage, and so Arsenal fans sang, "Charlie George, superstar! How many goals have you scored so far?" So, back when I still liked Kovalchuk, I said, "Kovalchuk! Kovalchuk! He scores a goal and the Rangers suck!"

The 1958 Italian hit "Volare" has been reworked for many players. Patrick Vieira played for France, but grew up in Senegal, so... "Vieira, whoa! Vieira, whoa! He comes from Senegal! He plays for Arsenal!" With RVP, when we liked him, we referenced Arsenal's North London arch-rivals, Tottenham Hotspur, a.k.a. "Spurs": "van Persie, whoa! van Persie, whoa! He comes from Rotterdam! He hates the Tottenham!" When we had former Zenit St. Petersburg and Russia national team star Andrey Arshavin, it was, "Arshavin, whoa! Arshavin, whoa! He's from St. Petersburg! He hates the fucking Spurs!"

It doesn't always have to rhyme exactly, and profanity is actively encouraged. It doesn't work for every player, as the rhythm of the song, the player's name, and his place of origin have to fit. One Devils player it did fit for was Jay Pandolfo: "Pandolfo, whoa! Pandolfo, whoa! He comes from Boston, Mass! He'll kick the Rangers' ass!" Sadly, putting a song together doesn't work for a lot of players.

At any rate, despite all their recent troubles, I still love the Devils, and I still love The Arsenal. I have regretted watching some individual games, but I have never regretted supporting either.

Arsenal's 2016-17 season is already in full gear. The Devils' 2016-17 season begins in a few minutes. With the Yankees not having made the Playoffs, the Rutgers football team dropping weekly stink bombs, and my interests in the NFL and the NBA being at all-time lows, I am more than ready.

Let's go, Devils! Up The Arsenal! #LGD #UTA

One Arsène Wenger, 1,000 Games -- Part III

On May 21, 2005, Arsenal defeated Manchester United on penalty kicks to win the FA Cup Final at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales.

At that point, Arsène had won 7 major trophies in his 1st 9 years as manager of Arsenal: 3 Premier League titles and 4 FA Cups.

That was nearly 9 years ago. Roughly the halfway point of his 1st 1,000 games in charge of the club.

Since then... no trophies.

Meanwhile, the League has been won by Man United 5 times, Chelsea 3, and Manchester City 1. The FA Cup has been won by Chelsea 4 times, and once each by Liverpool, Man City, and 2 clubs no longer in the top flight: Portsmouth and Wigan Athletic. The League Cup -- if you still consider that a "major trophy" -- has been won by Man United 3 times, and once each by Chelsea (beating Arsenal in the 2007 Final), Liverpool, Man City, Swansea City, Birmingham City (who beat Arsenal in the 2011 Final, and then got relegated), and, of course, by Arsenal's North London arch-rivals, Tottenham Hotspur (a.k.a. Spurs) in 2008, after they beat Arsenal in the Semifinal (reversing the previous year's Semi result).

And Man United and Chelsea have each won the UEFA Champions League since then, while Chelsea have added a Europa League title. Wenger has never won a European trophy.

As the seasons have gone by, and the number in "Arsenal haven't won a trophy in (X) years" has grown larger and larger, Wenger's reputation has gone from that of an eccentric genius to that of a "nearly man" -- or, as Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho put it recently, a "specialist in failure."

Is that the case? And, if so, is it his fault?

*

In 2006, the last season of Highbury before the Emirates Stadium opened, Arsenal finished 4th, their worst season in 10 years. But a last-day win still secured 4th place, and thus the last English place in the 2006-07 Champions League. And they denied Spurs that place as well, as Spurs finished 5th.

Which wouldn't have been such a big deal, except for the rivalry, if Arsenal had won the 2006 Champions League Final. And they did reach the Final, along the way becoming the 1st English team ever to beat Real Madrid away.

But the Final, against FC Barcelona at the Stade de France outside Paris, quickly turned from dream into nightmare. In the 18th minute, Samuel Eto'o charged the Arsenal goal, and keeper Jens Lehmann stopped him, but knocked him down, and was shown a straight red card, making him the 1st player ever sent off in a European Cup or Champions League Final. (I must admit, it was worthy of at least a yellow card, and the awarding of a penalty -- but not a straight red. It wasn't malicious.) And yet, no penalty was awarded. What kind of ruling was that?

Wenger then put backup goalie Manuel Almunia into the net, and he was hardly ready for this kind of pressure. Of course, with the red card, Wenger had to take off an attacking player -- and in a game where, with Almunia in net, goals might be at a premium, he took off one of his best attackers, Robert Pires. It made no sense. Incredibly, in the 37th minute, while down to 10 men, it was an Arsenal defender who scored the game's 1st goal: Sol Campbell. But Barca scored 2 dodgy goals in a late 5-minute span to win it.

It was the last game in Arsenal's colours for Pires, and also for Dennis Bergkamp. It seemed like the last for Campbell as well, although he did briefly return in the 2010 season. Notoriously, it was the last for Arsenal for Ashley Cole. Once the shining light of Wenger's belief in promoting young players, he had wanted £60,000 a week. Arsenal offered him £55,000. Chelsea began meetings with him, and were fined for "tapping up." "Cashley," as he became known to Arsenal fans, demanded to be sold to Chelsea, and was.

Wenger had already sold Captain and midfielder Patrick Vieira in the previous off-season. He had decided that his system wouldn't work with both Vieira, then 29 years old, and 18-year-old Spanish wonder boy Francesc "Cesc" Fàbregas. So he got rid of perhaps the best all-around player Arsenal have ever had, a man who still had 6 years of top-flight starts left in him, for a kid who had, at the time, thrilled but produced very little.

It was the biggest mistake Wenger ever made. Although Cesc's moves and good looks made Arsenal fans sing his praises -- figuratively and literally -- the youth movement didn't work out. Players such as Abou Diaby, Philippe Senderos, Carlos Vela, Denilson Pereira Neves, Alex Song, Johan Djourou and Emmanuel Eboue never really put it all together. And those were just the ones who made it as far as being occasional starters.

In 2006-07, the 1st season at the Emirates, Arsenal again finished 4th, and lost the League Cup Final to Chelsea -- though this did include the quite accidental knockout of Chelsea's loathsome Captain John Terry when Diaby, going for the ball, kicked him in the jaw. In 2007-08, Arsenal were fighting for the League title in late February, when Brazilian-Croatian forward Eduardo da Silva, brought in to replace the great Thierry Henry who'd gone to Barcelona, got his leg broken by Birmingham City's Martin Taylor.

In 2009, bolstered by the signing of Andrey Arshavin, a man I then described as "the Little Russian Beast," Arsenal stayed in the League race until April, and advanced to the Semifinals of both the FA Cup and the Champions League (though Arshavin, having played in the CL that season for his former club, Zenit St. Petersburg, was "cup-tied": Ineligible to play in it for Arsenal). But Wenger did not start Arshavin in the FA Cup Semi against Chelsea, the club's 1st game at the new Wembley Stadium in London, and lost 2-1. Then Man United knocked them out of the CL before being beaten by Barcelona, led by Henry and their exciting young Argentine Lionel Messi.

In 2010, Wenger's policy of playing younger players instead of starters in the League Cup was extended to the FA Cup. With a lineup consisting of the returned Sol and, essentially, 10 students at "Arsène Wenger High School," Arsenal lost away to Stoke City in the 4th Round. This was a trophy that could have been won, as Portsmouth, their finances in meltdown and already relegated, upset Tottenham in the Semifinal and only lost the Final 1-0 to Chelsea -- perhaps the greatest disparity in economic power in the history of European football.

In 2011, Arsenal were in all 4 competitions (Premier League, FA Cup, League Cup, Champions League) as late as the end of February, but injuries and (again) a team of kids led to defeat to Birmingham City in the League Cup Final, defeat to Barcelona (by this time, without Henry) in the CL Round of 16, defeat to Man United in the FA Cup Quarterfinal, and a 3rd place finish in the League.

In the lead-up to the 2011-12 season, Fàbregas and Samir Nasri, young players Wenger had nurtured, demanded out. Fàbregas was sold to his boyhood club, Barcelona, which had launched the greatest tapping-up campaign in soccer history, all so they could have the most exciting young midfielder in the world, and yet were never punished for it by FIFA or UEFA. Thus endeth the experiment of building the next great Arsenal team around Fàbregas, as great a fool's errand as has ever been seen in professional sports, anywhere on this planet.

Nasri did not want to go back to hometown club Olympique de Marseille. He just wanted more money. So Wenger sold him to the same club that had taken an earlier ungrateful wretch, Togo striker Emmanuel Adebayor: Manchester City, now owned by a member of the royal family of, ironically, the United Arab Emirates, whose Emirates Airways was now Arsenal's shirt sponsor and the owner of the naming rights on their new stadium.

An 8-2 defeat away to Manchester United, the club's worst loss in a century, led to some big deadline-day deals by Wenger, and the club went from 17th place out of 20 to finishing 3rd, but again crashed out of all 3 cups. Robin van Persie, whom Wenger had stood by during injury after injury, and even during an arrest for rape (the evidence was flimsy and the charges were dropped), wrote an open letter to Arsenal fans, questioning the ambition of the club. Rather than sell RVP to a foreign club, he sold him to Man United.

This did not stop Arsenal from beating Tottenham out to 3rd place and, since 6th-place Chelsea ended up winning the Champions League (the defending champion always gets a spot), the last available English spot in the next Champions League -- after Tottenham, at one point, had a 10-point lead on Arsenal. Nor did it hand the title to United. It did, however, make winning the title a lot easier for Sir Alex Ferguson's Red Devils.

Yet again, 2012-13 would prove to be a frustrating season. On March 3, Arsenal lost 2-1 away to Tottenham, putting Tottenham's lead over Arsenal for the 4th and final CL spot at 7 points. Piers Morgan, the English "journalist" who took Larry King's timeslot on CNN, and an Arsenal fan who nonetheless hates Wenger, had had enough of the complaints that Wenger's hands were tied as far as bringing in new players for big money, because the deal for the new stadium was still being paid off. He thought that loss to Tottenham, which seemed to ensure no Champions League football for Arsenal in 2013-14, was the last straw.

Here is what Morgan, hired as a studio guest for the day for U.S. coverage on Fox Soccer Channel, said when that game ended: "If Arsène Wenger has one ounce of honour left in him, he will resign immediately."

Never before had "the Wenger Out Brigade" had a better case.

Wenger did not resign. Arsenal did not lose another game for the rest of the season, and, again, on the final day, as in 2006 and 2012, beat Tottenham out for the last CL spot. Clearly, Wenger was right to not resign.

In the Summer transfer window, Wenger picked up French-African teenager Yaya Sanogo and former Arsenal midfielder Mathieu Flamini on free transfers -- again, spending nothing going into the North London Derby at home to Tottenham on September 1. And the old enemy had spent £100 million (some sources have it as high as £110 million) on new players after selling Welsh winger Gareth Bale, their main scoring threat from the last 2 seasons. The old line about "a power shift in North London" was, like the WOB's whining, louder than ever.

Final score: One-nil to The Arsenal. The next day, the deadline, Wenger bought German-Turkish midfield wizard Mesut Özil for £42.5 million -- from Real Madrid, who needed the money, because they'd just spent a record £85 million (double Özil's sale price) on Bale. In other words, Tottenham's record profit made Arsenal's record signing possible. And the Wenger Outers rejoiced that the manager had finally listened to their demand to "Spend some fucking money!"

They still want "a world-class striker," though, to replace van Persie, ignoring the fact that the previous year's striker buy, Olivier Giroud, is outscoring the supposedly "world-class" Wayne Rooney of United. (The facts that Rooney is English, and Giroud is not only not English, but French, suggests that bigotry may be involved in the WOBs' whining.) In the January 2014 transfer window, despite injuries to Giroud (who has returned), Nicklas Bendtner (who also has) and Theo Walcott (who hasn't, and will miss the rest of the season and the World Cup, too), Wenger did not buy a striker, world-class or otherwise. Fortunately, the return of Giroud and the interesting first appearances of Sanogo have helped a lot.

As things stand today, March 22, 2014, the day of Wenger's 1,000th game as manager of Arsenal...

* Arsenal are out of the Champions League, going out in the Round of 16 for the 4th straight season, to Bayern Munich for the 2nd straight season, despite drawing in Munich after winning there last year, but being doomed by home losses to the German behemoths.

* Arsenal did not win the League Cup, whose Final is usually the last Sunday in February. Manchester City won it this season.

* However, Arsenal find themselves in a rare 4-way dogfight for the Premier League title. Even rarer, Manchester United are not one of the teams in the fight for the title. The retirement of Ferguson has led to the hiring of Everton manager David Moyes, and between his tactical foolishness and the advancing age of some once-great United players, United may not even qualify for Europe next season.

Currently, Chelsea, today's opponents, lead the League. However, Arsenal and Liverpool are both 4 points back, and each have a game in hand -- meaning that, if each wins said game, they'll each be 1 point back. Manchester City are 6 back, but have 3 games in hand: Win all 3, and they'll be 3 points up even if Chelsea don't drop points. Counting this weekend's games, Chelsea have 8 League games left, Arsenal and Liverpool 9 each, Man City 11, until the finale on May 11, and anybody who says they know what's going to happen is fooling no one but themselves.

* And Arsenal have advanced to the Semifinal of the FA Cup. They will play defending champions but 2nd-division Wigan Athletic, who for the 2nd year in a row (doing it in the Final last year and the Quarterfinal this year) stunned Man City. Arsenal got there by beating Tottenham, 3rd-division Coventry City, and both Merseyside teams, Liverpool and Everton. The winner will face the winner of the other Semifinal, between Premiership side Hull City and 3rd-division Sheffield United -- meaning that this is easily a better chance for Arsenal to win a trophy than the League.

Arsenal have 2 chances to win silverware this season. And yet, as the drought has reached "Arsenal haven't won a trophy in 9 seasons," the WOB are saying that he has to leave if he doesn't win either.

*

His supporters like to say, "Arsène Knows." They have 3 League titles and 4 FA Cups to prove it. His detractors -- and this is just among people who claim to support the club -- say that was years ago, and that he refuses to adjust to the realities of today's game, which means "Spend some fucking money!"

Wenger himself has said, "We live a society where everybody knows everything and it looks like it is a shame to say, 'I don't know.'"

There are criticisms of Wenger from elsewhere:

* He whines about injuries, which isn't allowed because all teams have injuries. No, not like Arsenal has had, especially since 2006..

* He whines about bad calls from the officials, which isn't allowed because all teams get bad calls, and "they even out in the end." Then why did they never even out for Ferguson? Why do they never even out for Chelsea, through all the managers they've hired and fired?

* He too easily says that a player coming back from a long-term injury is "like a new signing."

* He's too set in his ways, stuck to an outmoded ideal that football can be played beautifully but on the cheap, and as long as Chelsea and the Manchester clubs can afford to outspend him, he'll never win another trophy in England; and as long as they, and the Spanish giants, and Bayern, and Paris Saint-Germain (who haven't yet won the Champions League but now have the money to spend to make a serious run at it) can afford to outspend him, he'll never win the Champions League.

* Then there are those who mock him for personal reasons. They make fun of the oversized parka that he wears in cold weather. They make fun of him slamming his water bottle into the ground when things don't go well. They make fun of his reaction to fouls committed by his own team, usually taking the form of, "No, I did not see it." They make fun of his descriptions of his team having "the quality" and "the mental strength" when, clearly, they don't have enough of either. And, because of his tendency to bring in teenagers, some people even call him, with no serious evidence, a "paedophile."

Well, in the tradition of a great show that ran on ESPN a few years ago, I am showing you...

The Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame Arsène Wenger for Arsenal Not Winning a Trophy Since 2005

As that show did, I'll begin with some reasons that didn't make the cut: The Best of the Rest.

Bad Calls. Since it's bad form to whine about bad officiating, even when the officiating actually is bad, I won't put this in the top 5. But...

* The Wayne Rooney dive at Old Trafford in 2004, ending the 49-game unbeaten streak. True, Arsenal did end up winning a trophy that season, but it was so obvious. Rooney should have been sent off immediately. Whether Arsenal would have scored against a 10-man United doesn't matter: If not, it would have been a draw, and the streak would have reached 54 before their next legitimate loss, away to Liverpool 5 weeks later.

* The straight red card to Jens Lehmann in the 2006 Champions League Final. It wasn't malicious, so it should have been a yellow. Actually, if referee really Terje Hauge wanted to hurt Arsenal, he should have awarded a penalty to Barca -- which would have been the correct call anyway!

* An early-season match with United at Old Trafford in August 2009 was ruined by an own-goal header by Abou Diaby, but also by a bogus penalty called by referee Mike Dean on goalie Manuel Almunia.

* Pretty much every game that United and Chelsea have played against Arsenal since at least 2003 has been full of dives. Notable offenders include United's Rooney, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Nani and Ashley Young; and Chelsea's Arjen Robben, Didier Drogba and Ramires.

* Three times in the CL Round of 16 match away to Barcelona in 2011, a Barca player grabbed an Arsenal player by the throat. All 3 times, referee Massimo Busacca did nothing. No straight red. No yellow. Not even a warning. And then Busacca sent off Robin van Persie -- victim of two of the chokings -- for kicking the ball about a quarter of a second after the whistle.

So Arsenal had to play 10 vs. 11 (really, 10 vs. 12) for most of the 2nd half against the best team in the world at the time, when it should have been 11 Gunners vs. 8 Catalans. Grab a man by the throat on the streets of Barcelona, and you could be arrested for assault; do it in a Barca shirt inside the Camp Nou, and you're a national hero.

* And just in Arsenal's last knockout of the CL, Robben, now with Bayern, was diving all over the place, and never cautioned. He wasn't the only Bayern player diving, either. It should be noted that Barca's manager in 2011, Pep Guardiola, is now Bayern's manager. Bayern were not previously known as a team that tolerated diving.

So, yes, there have been bad calls against Arsenal at key moments. Who knows what Arsenal could have won had the officials gotten those calls right?

Tapping Up. Chelsea with Ashley Cole in 2005-06, and Barcelona with Cesc Fàbregas from 2009 to 2011, are 2 of the most notorious examples in football history. And Arsenal caved in both times.

Personally, if I was in charge of transfers at Arsenal in 2011, I would have sold Fàbregas to Real Madrid for one pound. For 4 reasons: To punish Barca by selling the player they wanted the most to their arch-rivals; to punish Fàbregas (or, as I began calling him for poisoning the atmosphere at Arsenal, "Mustardgas") for his disloyalty; to show the other players what happens when you are disloyal to Arsenal; and to show the fans that there are things more important than money.

Previous Trophy Droughts. As late as April 1970, people were mocking the Gunners by saying, "Arsenal haven't won a trophy since the Coronation!" It was true: Their last trophy was the 1953 League title, won a month before Queen Elizabeth II was crowned. That was 17 years, before they won the Fairs Cup. From the 1971 Double to the 1979 FA Cup 8 years. From the 1979 FA Cup to the 1987 League Cup, 8 years -- in other words, 1 trophy in 17 years. How does Wenger's 9 years look now?

What's that, you say? If Wenger is such a genius, such a thing shouldn't happen? You're right -- but there are reasons why, that I'll get to in a moment.

Previous Arsenal Managers. Take a look:

* Bertie Mee won just 3 trophies in 10 years -- none in his last 5. And there were near-misses: 2 lost League Cup Finals in 1968 and 1969, a lost FA Cup Final in 1972, and finishing 2nd and losing the FA Cup Semifinal in 1973. And then he presided over a tailspin, finishing 17th in 1976.

* Terry Neill managed 8 years, and won just 1 trophy, the 1979 FA Cup. In 1978, '79 and '80, he reached 4 cup finals: The FA Cup all 3 years, and the Cup Winners' Cup in the last. He won just 1 of the 4.

* George Graham, the man the WOBs love to cite for winning trophies? Yes, he won 6 trophies in his 9 years at the helm. But in the year he won 2 of those trophies, 1993, he finished 10th -- behind Tottenham. In his last year, 1995, he finished 12th -- behind Tottenham -- and was fired for reasons I won't get into here, but he did deserve it. Indeed, his last 4 seasons were 4th, 10th, 4th and 12th. And his fans get on Wenger for finishing 4th?

They say Wenger only won trophies because he had Graham's back 4: Lee Dixon, Nigel Winterburn, Tony Adams and Steve Bould. Sometimes they throw in goalie David Seaman and make it "Graham's back 5." (Seaman joined in 1990, so he wasn't there for the 1989 League title, but he was there for Graham's other 5 trophies.)

This is bloody stupid. It ignores the fact that Graham never won the Double with them. Wenger won one with all of them, and won a second with Dixon, Adams and Seaman. Indeed, Wenger got more out of Graham's back 5 than Graham did.

Also, these WOBs who claim that Wenger can't find defenders, the way he can with midfielders and forwards? He replaced Seaman with Jens Lehmann, Dixon with Lauren, Winterburn with Ashley Cole, Bould with Martin Keown (another Graham signing) and then Keown with Kolo Toure, and Adams with Sol Campbell. In each case, Wenger found a defender who was, at the very least, roughly of equal talent. And used them to go unbeaten, something Graham never did.

(Graham did go through 1990-91 losing just 1 game, but Wenger went through 2003-04 having, as the man said, "lost exactly none!" That 1991 season was also the closest Graham came to the Double, losing in the FA Cup Semifinal -- to Tottenham.)

"Ah, but Graham won a European trophy, something Wenger's never done!" Yeah, in 1994, Graham won the European Cup Winners' Cup, a trophy considered so far beneath the Champions League, it doesn't even exist anymore. It was the European equivalent of the League Cup.

In essence, under Graham, from 1986 to 1995, Arsenal were one of the top 3 clubs in England; under Wenger, since 1996, Arsenal are one of the 10 biggest clubs in the world. And they got that way by Wenger bringing in players Graham never would have considered, like Patrick Vieira, Marc Overmars, Thierry Henry and Nwankwo Kanu.

What's that you say? Wenger brought in Mikael Silvestre, Marouane Chamakh, Denilson, Gervinho! And got rid of Cesc Fàbregas and Robin van Persie too soon! Yes, and Graham brought in John Jensen, Eddie McGoldrick, Stefan Schwarz and Colin Pates, and got rid of Michael Thomas and David Rocastle too soon. Which one did more damage?

Put it this way: If Graham hadn't made those transactions -- especially Jensen, the deal that eventually cost him his job for reasons that had nothing to do with competitiveness -- he might still be the Arsenal manager today. (Yes, he'll turn 70 this year, but he's still younger than Alex Ferguson.)

Oh, and, by the way? When Graham's exile was over, and he managed Leeds, and then arch-rival Tottenham, he won just one trophy, and only once won a game against Wenger. Indeed, Wenger has never finished behind Tottenham while managing Arsenal; Graham did, twice.

Maybe it's time they stopped comparing Wenger to Graham, and just accepted that Wenger is not only better than Graham was, but did more.

4th Place as a "Trophy." Wenger gets mocked for saying finishing in the top 4 and qualifying for the CL is "like a trophy." Well, just qualifying for it gets a club £30 million in prize money. Qualifying for the Europa League? Just £2 million. How's he supposed to "spend some fucking money" if he doesn't qualify for the CL? And yet, he has qualified for it, every single year since 1998.

And now, the top 5:

5. The Stadium Deal. Look at the other big-spending teams. Man United? They've expanded Old Trafford, from 44,000 seats in 1992 to 75,000 today. Man City? What's now known as the Etihad Stadium was built by the City of Manchester for the Commonwealth Games, and then given to the club for free to replace their old stadium, Maine Road.

Chelsea? They want to replace 41,000-seat Stamford Bridge, and can probably afford it, but haven't done so, for reasons that are not entirely within their control. Liverpool? They want to replace 44,000-seat Anfield, but haven't been able to afford it.

Indeed, most of the "new" stadiums in England and Wales were done within a few years after the Taylor Report in 1993, and were done before costs skyrocketed, and at capacities nowhere near the Emirates' 60,000, or the similarly-sized stadiums that Chelsea, Liverpool and Tottenham want to build, making them even cheaper.

Besides Man City, these include Bolton Wanderers, Cardiff City, Coventry City, Derby County, Hull City, Leicester City, Middlesbrough, Millwall, Reading, Southampton, Stoke City, Sunderland, Swansea City, Wigan Athletic. Still others, like United, Chelsea and Tottenham, in that period rebuilt their old stadiums one stand at a time, until all four were new. (In Chelsea's case, one stand still remains from 1973; in United's, from 1948.)

Wenger had to make profits in order to pay down the stadium debt. And he still managed to keep the club in the top 4 and the Champions League the whole time. Club officials have said that, now, the money is there to spend.

4. Disloyalty. Think of where Arsenal would be right now if certain players had stayed loyal:

* Ashley Cole? Kieran Gibbs might now be a good backup, ready to take over for Cole next season, or the next.

* Cesc Fàbregas and Samir Nasri? Presuming they would have stayed healthy (all too often, one or both missed games due to injuries while they were here), they'd form a great 4-man midfield with two of these three: Theo Walcott, Jack Wilshere and Aaron Ramsey. Then again, maybe Wenger never would have bought Mesut Özil, who -- yes, Cesc fanboys -- is better now than Cesc has ever been, and probably better now than Cesc ever will be again.

* Emmanuel Adebayor and Robin van Persie? Again, these are guys who tend to get hurt, but, if healthy, would be a better top two than Olivier Giroud and Lukas Podolski, right? Yeah... if healthy. Big if, especially with RVP.

Which brings us to...

3. Injuries. On May 1, 2006, Diaby got his leg broken by Dan Smith of Sunderland. He's never been the same player since, constantly being injured, and making ridiculous passing mistakes even when he does play.

On February 23, 2008, Eduardo da Silva got his leg broken by Ben Taylor of Birmingham City. Arsenal's title challenge fell apart, and Eduardo missed a year, and was, quite literally, intimidated by it, never really regaining his shooting touch.

On February 27, 2010, Aaron Ramsey got his leg broken by Ryan Shawcross of Stoke City. Arsenal still had a shot at the League and the CL, but those runs ended up equally broken, and Ramsey missed a year, although unlike Eduardo he came back more determined than ever, and was the best player in the Premiership in the 1st half of the 2013-14 season, before getting hurt again. (He should be back next week.)

All 3 of those leg-breaks were on purpose. Maybe if Smith had been sufficiently punished, the others wouldn't have happened.

But it's not just those injuries. Injuries always seemed to happen to Fàbregas and van Persie at inopportune times. Tomas Rosicky got hurt, and missed a year and a half. Jack Wilshere got hurt in a preseason friendly, and missed an entire season. What could Arsenal have done with those guys ready to go?

2. Roman Abramovich. Since buying Chelsea in time for the 2003-04 season, the corrupt Russian energy baron has sought to buy trophies. It's worked: The 2005, '06 and '10 League titles; the 2007, '09, '10 and '12 FA Cups; the 2007 League Cup; the 2012 Champions League; and the 2013 Europa League. Arsenal could, and perhaps should, have won the '07 League Cup and the '09 FA Cup, and might have if Chelsea were still under previous, or similar, ownership.

1. Alex Ferguson. Even if you don't believe Manchester United are a bunch of cheating bastards (and you should, because they are, and have been since well before Sir Whiskey Nose took over), he does get the most out of players who really aren't great.

Just since that 2005 FA Cup Final, he's won the 2008 League title that Arsenal probably should have won, knocked Arsenal out of the 2009 Champions League, put a big crimp in early promises in 2009-10, and won the League in 2011 and 2013, before finally retiring.

So there you have it: Plenty of reasons why Arsène Wenger is not the biggest factor in Arsenal's 9-year trophy drought.

*

Do you still want Wenger out? Well, consider where Man United were under Ron Atkinson; then, what they did under Alex Ferguson; now, where they are under David Moyes. The right manager can make a tremendous difference.

To paraphrase Jack Nicholson...

You can't handle the truth! Arsène Wenger's existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, wins games. You don't want the truth, because, deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want him in that seat. You need him in that seat! He uses words like "quality," "mental strength," "new signing." He uses these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline.

He has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very trophies and stadium that he has provided, and then questions the manner in which he provided them. I would rather you just said, "Thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you leave The Arsenal, and choose another club.

Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

"It's my opinion!" the Wenger Outers say. You have the right to your opinion. You do not have the right to have your opinion taken seriously.

*

For those of you still accept Arsène Wenger as Arsenal manager, who understand that he has won trophies, that he has caused the building of the new stadium and the new training complex, that he has changed the way the club has been run, that he has changed the way the game is played, and that there is no one better equipped to manage this team, now and in the next few years, I say...

Thank you, and please join me in continuing to support him, as he manages his 1,000th game as Arsenal manager today, away to Chelsea, in a game that will go a long way toward deciding who wins the 2014 Premier League title. With an FA Cup Semifinal, and possibly a Final, still to come this season.

For all he's been through, fairly and not...

Still...

One Arsène Wenger. There's only one Arsène Wenger.

Merci, Boss.

Robin: No Mercy

I'll discuss last night's Yankee game tonight, after this afternoon's game has also been played. I have to discuss soccer.

Last night, the U.S. team beat Mexico in Mexico for the 1st time in 25 tries, 1-0. The goal was scored in the 79th minute by Michael Orozco Fiscal, a native of Orange, California but of Mexican descent and playing for a team in the Mexican league, San Luis. North Brunswick, New Jersey native Tim Howard was sensational in goal, again.

Just as our Russian gymnasts are better than Russia's Russian gymnasts, and our Chinese figure skaters are better than China's Chinese figure skaters, our Mexican soccer players are better than Mexico's Mexican soccer players.

Over 100,000 fans of El Tri (nicknamed for the Mexican tricolor flag) were shocked. They are no longer unbeatable at the Estadio Azteca.

I'll bet there were a lot of guys crying in their Modelos on (ironically enough) French Street in New Brunswick last night.

In the last 6 months, the U.S. soccer team has beaten both Italy, the runners-up in the recent Euro 2012, and Mexico, who just won the Olympic Gold Medal, on those countries' soil.

Nobody's laughing at us anymore. If they are, they're idiots.

Well, maybe they laugh at our uniforms. Those barber-pole things are hideous.  nd, as superstitious as sports people are, chances are we'll never get rid of them now.

*

But yesterday was also the day that Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger sold Robin van Persie. Sold him to Manchester United, of all teams.

It's bad enough that Robin van Rat forced his way out, revealing his true character; that he was only in it for the money; that he stabbed in the back the man who took him out of a bad situation at his hometown club, Feyenoord of Rotterdam, the Netherlands; whose guidance turned him from a kid with a lot of promise to the leading scorer in the English Premier League last season; who stood by him when the whole world thought he was guilty of rape (this wasn't quite a Kobe Bryant situation, the girl turned out to be a gold-digger); who kept confidence in him during injury after injury after injury; and who beamed with pride every time van Persie said things about loyalty, about how winning a trophy elsewhere wouldn't mean as much as winning it with Arsenal.

I've seen plenty of players leave my teams for other teams over the years. I should be used to it by now. Reggie Jackson. Graig Nettles. Goose Gossage. Rickey Henderson. Kirk Muller. Bruce Driver. John MacLean. Andy Pettitte. Scott Niedermayer. Brian Rafalski. Cesc Fabregas. Samir Nasri. And, just in the last few weeks, two captains, Zach Parise and Robin van Persie. And, if you want to throw in managers and coaches, Jacques Lemaire, Joe Torre and Greg Schiano.

Sometimes, it was the player getting greedy and wanting more money elsewhere. Sometimes, it was the player wanting out of a bad situation. Sometimes, it was the player getting screwed by bad management.

But when George Steinbrenner let Reggie go, he didn't trade him to the Boston Red Sox. And while Driver and MacLean both went to the Rangers, it was when they were in the latter stages of their career, after they'd already won a Stanley Cup with the Devils.

van Persie said he wouldn't sign a new contract with Arsenal because he didn't like the direction the team was taking, because it wasn't showing enough ambition. So Wenger signed Lukas Podolski, Olivier Giroud and Santi Cazorla, 3 apparently fantastic young players.

That wasn't enough for van Persie. So now we know: It wasn't about ambition or trophies. It was about the money.

Maybe that's the real reason he went to United: He's so horny even a fox like Bouchra can't satisfy him, and he knows that, no matter what Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs do, the ManUre fans will overlook it and say it doesn't matter. And he gets the big money.

I guess he forgot that he could do the same thing at Chelsea. And make even more money. And not have to move out of London. And unlike ManUre, the Chavs actually need a new striker.

Bouchra barely stood by him when she found out she cheated on him with the gold-digger.  Her Twitter feed says, "proud wife of amazing husband." She should leave the son of a bitch. If he doesn't value loyalty, why should she?  

Still, Wenger could have sold van Persie to a club outside England. Instead, he sold him to Man United.

If I were the manager, I would have sold him back to Feyenoord for a nickel. Just to make a point to all involved: Ferguson, Man City, Juventus, van Persie himself, and especially the board: "I am the manager, and if you got a problem with that, get yourself another manager."

Some things are more important than money. Why do I care this much about a team that I didn't even know existed only a few years ago? That is on the other side of the world?

Something about Arsenal drew me in. And the NYC Arsenal Supporters have accepted me as a long-lost relative.

Nick Hornby, the author who rose to fame with Fever Pitch, his memoir of being an Arsenal fan, said it best:

It's not easy to become a football player. It takes years. But to be a fan, if you put in the hours, you're welcomed without question into a new family. Except, in this family, you all care about the same people, and you all hope for the same things. What's childish about that?

Well, there are childish parts of it. Hornby spells it out further:

Football has meant too much to me, and has come to represent too many things. I've been to far too many games, and spent too much money, fretted about Arsenal when I should have been fretting about something else, and I've asked too much from the people I love.

Okay, I accept all that.

Perhaps it's something you can't understand, unless you belong.

I've belonged with the Yankees since 1977 (since I was 7 years old). With the Devils, since 1982 (since the team's Day One). With Arsenal, only since 2008.

Indeed, it was Arsenal that led me to my "local side," the New York Red Bulls -- not the other way around. It was before Arsenal legend Thierry Henry arrived with Metro -- though that certainly deepened the connection.

If I'd been a gloryhunter, why would I have connected with Arsenal then, when the trophy drought (since winning the 2005 FA Cup Final) was already well underway? Why would I still be with them? Why wouldn't I have switched to Man United or Chelsea?

Because they've made me feel like I belong. No, it isn't as long or as deep as with the Yankees or the Devils, or East Brunswick High. But it's not like they packed up and left on me, like the former New Jersey Nets.

van Persie being a rat? I can get over that soon, especially if the new signings work out.

Wenger selling to the corrupt cheating ManUre? That will be harder to accept. It was a blasphemous act. I've been a huge defender of Wenger, but I cannot defend this.

And yet... I didn't give up on the Yankees during the collapse of 1982, or during the worse collapse of 1990, or after the mind-numbing Playoff loss of 1995, or after the cheat-aided humiliation of 2004.  I didn't give up on the Devils when they were, in Wayne Gretzky's truthful words, "a Mickey Mouse organization" or when the Rangers got the Stanley Cup first.

To be angry with Robin van Persie, to show him no mercy, to treat him as a traitor, is completely understandable. To be angry with Arsène Wenger, to think of him as a sap, in spite of his achievements (3 League titles, 4 FA Cups, 2 Doubles, 15 straight Champions League qualifications, and the only unbeaten League season of the modern era), is at least partly understandable.

To give up on Arsenal because of this -- when last year's mess with Fabregas and Nasri left us much worse off, and we recovered and had a better finish than the season before anyway -- is not understandable at all.

Do I wish van Persie "Good luck"? More like -- wait for it...

"Break a leg."

Quality Is Not Joba One

Remember Ford Motor Company's old slogan? "Quality is Job 1." Well, quality was not Joba One last night.

Javier Vazquez again looked like the pitcher the Yankees were hoping he'd be when they reacquired him, putting his awful start to the season firmly into the past with 7 shutout innings against the Mariners in Seattle last night. Then Joba Chamberlain blew it in the 8th, showing no command, loading the bases, and allowing a grand slam.

The Yankees got a home run from Nick Swisher in the 3rd to give Javy a 1-0 lead, which he handed over to Joba, who should have been able to hand it over to The Man. But The Man remained in the bullpen as the slam left the yard. The Yanks did mount a comeback attempt in the 9th, getting 2 men on and thus the tying run to the plate, but Felix Hernandez finished the complete game. Mariners 4, Yankees 1.

Maybe Joe Girardi should have taken another one of Ford's old slogan's: "Ford's Got a Better Idea." The better idea would have been to bring in Mariano Rivera for a 5-out save. It's not like he's going to be overused, with the All-Star Break coming up. At most, he would have pitched just 2 more innings in the next 5 days.

*

Today is the series, and 1st-half, finale, with CC Sabathia going against Ryan Rowland-Smith. Which is an entry in "Who's Who" going up against an entry in "Who's He?"

Reminds me of a joke Phyllis Diller used to tell -- she's still alive, and Saturday will be her 93rd birthday, but age and infirmity have led her to retire from performing. The Janeane Garofalo of her time, she liked to make jokes about her appearance: "I'm not mentioned in Who's Who, but I'm featured in What's That!"

*

Speaking of Hernandez, why is he called King Felix? Sure, he's a really good pitcher, went 19-5 for an 85-win team last season, and at age 24 already has 65 wins with a "career" (better term to use in this case than "lifetime") ERA+ of a very strong 127. But he's never appeared in the postseason.

And there's no precedent for the name, either. At least when LeBron James, bum and idiot that he is, is called "King James," even though he's a consistent postseason choker, James has been a name given to a number of kings, including the man who was King James VI in Scotland before becoming King James I of England, sponsor of what became the defining Protestant text of the next 300 years, the King James Bible. (The Revised Standard or RSV set the tone for the 20th Century, and the New International Version or NIV seems to be the preferred for my generation and the one that's followed.) I can find no reference to a king named Felix in any country.

*

Cliff Lee started for the Texas Rangers last night, and got rocked. At home. By the hopeless Baltimore Orioles. Nice trade, Arlington.

The Mets got only 4 hits off Tim Hudson of the Atlanta Braves last night. Three of them by Angel Pagan. Mike Pelfrey didn't get the job done. The Mets have begun their annual September Swoon in July this time. And Jose Reyes got hurt again. Seriously, when was the last time a New York baseball player was as overrated as Reyes? Probably never, because anybody who was, was so overrated before the ability of even New York's media to make a mountain out of a molehill on a modern, cable-news scale.

The Phillies did another extra-inning walkoff against the surprising NL Central leaders, the Cincinnati Reds. They were being no-hit into the 9th, but won it in the 12th. Looks like the Phils remembered they're the 3-time defending NL East champions, the 2-time defending NL champions, and a World Champion just 2 years ago. Now, if only somebody can beat the Braves... ah, but the Mets aren't somebodies, they're nobodies.

*

I saw the New York Red Bulls play D.C. United last night. The game had its moments, but ended 0-0. Still, with Metro having beaten their arch-rivals 2-0 at Robert F. Kennedy Stadium in D.C. earlier in the season, they won 2-0 on aggregate, and claimed the Atlantic Cup, the trophy awarded to the winner of the season series between them. First time in 7 years.

United have now won it 10 times, the MetroStars/Red Bulls (the name was changed in 2005) 5. The all-time series between the teams is 27-17-7 in United's scummy favor.

Just 4 more days until the MLS transfer window opens, and the Red Bulls can announce their new signing. If it's not former Arsenal star Thierry Henry, there's going to be a lot of people who are pissed. That's "pissed" in the American sense, meaning "very, very angry"; not in the British sense, meaning "drunk." Though that may soon follow for some.

Three and a half hours to the World Cup Final. Come on, Netherlands. Current Arsenal star Robin van Persie, this Gooner is behind you! As for current Arsenal Captain Cesc Fabregas, remember: Not playing on this Spain team full of Barcelona stars is what you have to look forward to if you play for Barcelona, whereas with Arsenal, you will lead the way... if you stay. So, stay.

In other words, Robin, bring back the Cup... and Cesc!

Mike Dean: Worst Sports Official On the Planet

I'm glad the Yankees have won their last 2 games with an extra-inning walkoff homer by Robinson Cano and a brilliant combined one-hitter by Sergio Mitre and Chad Gaudin, with 10 runs of support.

But I have to rant about soccer for a moment. Or, if you prefer, "football."  Or "futbol."

It is just me, or does the bald head, the bare legs, the authoritarian manner and the just not giving a damn who gets hurt so long as he gets what he wants make anyone else think Mike Dean resembles Vladimir Putin?

Dean is a referee -- I'm being very, very loose with the language here -- in the English Premier League, the football league that is the most popular sports league on the planet. He's bald, he's blind, the worst official's kind.

And in a game between two of the Premiership's top four teams, Arsenal (for whom I root) and Manchester United (whom every Earthling with any taste loathes to an exceeding degree), at Old Trafford, Man U's ground where anyone in a home red shirt has never committed a foul, Dean handed the game to Man U in the most corrupt example of refereeing I've seen in my (admittedly brief) football-watching experience.

It was 1-0 to The Arsenal in the 2nd half, following a nice goal by the little Russian beast, Andrey Arshavin, when Wayne Rooney, a.k.a. Wooney, a.k.a. The Boy, a.k.a. Shrek, charged the box, and Arsenal goalkeeper Manuel Almunia reached for the ball to stop it.

It was a clean stop. And then Rooney made an obvious dive. And every Man U fan on the planet -- including those 12 or 14 who actually live in the City of Manchester -- knows it was a dive.

Dean called a foul on Almunia, and gave Rooney a penalty shot, which, of course, he converted. 1-1.

Abou Diaby literally made a boneheaded play, heading the ball into his own net to make it 2-1 ManUre. There's 3,519 miles between my perch here in Central Jersey and Arsenal's home ground at Ashburton Grove, and Diaby should be grateful for every one of them, because I wanted to end his life with my bare hands.

Having had 11 hours or so to calm down, I now only want to see him sold to another club. Any other club. Sell the bum to Tottenham if they'll take him. Preferably, a club far, far away. Melbourne Victory or something. (Just my luck, it'll end up being Red Bull New York. At least then, the distance between us will be only a few hundred feet, and I'll be able to tell the bum what I think of him in person.)

(UPDATE: Arsenal kept Diaby until 2015, ignoring his idiotic play and his constant injuries. He ended up at French club Olympique de Marseille.)

When Man U leads after 90 minutes, the refs will give about 12 seconds of injury time. When they are trailing, it's usually more like an hour and a half. In "honor" of their manager, Sir Alex Ferguson (knighted for having led Man U to a cheated-to Treble in 1999), this concept is known throughout the world as "Fergie Time."

But with Man U leading 2-1 at the end, 5 minutes were awarded. And Arsenal, who had so thoroughly dominated until the Rooney dive but had played like crap ever since, continued to play like crap in the added time.

But in the 95th minute, Robin van Persie, who has been total garbage so far this season despite being one of my favorite players last season, scored. 2-2, and Arsenal salvage a point they don't really deserve, but which Man U deserved even less, certainly not the 3 points they got for victory.

But Dean's seeing-eye dog barked, and, having been so properly signaled, Dean waved off the goal because William Gallas was offside. The hell he was.

(Ironically, on the subway on the way to the place where I watched the game, there was a blind man with a guide dog. But he wasn't a sports official. He would've been better at it than Dean.)

Arsene Wenger, like Joe Torre, hardly ever betrays emotion. He's not a Man of a Thousand Faces, he's a Man of One Face. Also like Torre, he tends to play hunches that usually work shockingly well, but sometimes blow up in his one face. And, also like Torre, he hardly ever argues with officials. This time, he told Dean off, and rightly so. About time his players see that he has their back when they've been stabbed therein by a lying bastard of a referee.

Those of you from England, who may have stumbled upon this blog by accident, thinking it is regularly about the game you call football, please forgive a baseball reference, but...

Mike Dean makes me think of Bruce Froemming. They don't look anything alike, but it doesn't matter. Thank God this blind lunkhead is now retired, but Froemming was the longest-serving and worst umpire in the game's history, 37 years.

In 1972, Milt Pappas of the Chicago Cubs was one out away from a perfect game -- no baserunners allowed. There was a three balls, two strikes count on the last batter, and Pappas put a pitch on the outside corner. Strike three, perfect game, immortality. Except Froemming said it was outside the strike zone, ball four, batter goes to first base. Pappas managed to get the next batter out to save the no-hitter, but the very rare and far greater accomplishment eluded him.

After the game, Pappas, a pretty good pitcher who won over 200 games in his career (but gets tarred as the man the Cincinnati Reds got in sending Hall-of-Famer Frank Robinson to the Baltimore Orioles) actually appealed to Froemming's ego. He said, "Bruce, do you know how many umpires have called a perfect game? You could have been one of them!"

Froemming: "Milt, if I'd called that pitch a strike, I never would have been able to live with myself."

Pappas: "How do you live with yourself with all the other lousy calls you make?"

This bum umpired for another 35 years. He even did a McDonald's commercial. If he were an English ref, we'd be telling him he ate all the pies.

Dean also officiated last year's match between Arsenal and arch-rival Tottenham Hotspur, sending off Emmanuel Eboue (which I understand based on Eboue's play and personality, but it was still a questionable call) and leaving an already injury-riddled Arsenal team to play 10 vs. 11 for what turned out to be, counting injury time, a full 60 minutes. Begging the question, how many Spurs does it take to beat 10 Arsenal? Answer: At least 13, because 12 wasn't enough: Final score, 0-0.

If there is a worse official on the planet, in any sport, than Mike Dean, I'll never believe it. Tim Tschida in baseball? Ed Hochuli in football? Any referee in a Devils-Rangers hockey game? Forget it: Dean is the worst, and I say this having only rooted for the team he screwed yesterday for a little more than a year.