Showing posts with label joe robbie stadium. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joe robbie stadium. Show all posts

Thursday, December 10, 2015

How to Be a Jet Fan In Miami -- 2015 Edition

This coming Monday night, the Giants try to bounce back from their awful loss to the Jets, and head down to Miami – or, at least, the suburbs of Miami – to play the Dolphins.

The Jets, for the 1st time since 1965, do not visit the Dolphins this season, as the 'Phins gave up a home game in order to be the "home" team against the Jets at the new Wembley Stadium in London.

Before You Go. Miami is in Florida. It's frequently hot, even during the Christmas season. And it's frequently rainy. And the stadium has no roof, which means there’s no protection from either rain or heat at your seat. So dress lightly, wear a hat, keep hydrated, and you should probably bring an umbrella.

The Miami Herald website is predicting that Monday afternoon will have a shower early, and reach the low 80s. That's right, over 80 degrees in December. Monday night won't have rain, but it won't be much cooler, staying in the high 60s

Florida is a former Confederate State, and parts of Miami sure seem like a foreign country. But you won't need to bring your passport or change your money. And it's in the Eastern Time Zone, so you won't have to fool with your timepieces.

Tickets. The Dolphins are averaging 64,938 fans per home game this season, not including the "home game" in London. With 10,000 seats having been sacrificed in a recent renovation, this is close to a sellout. So getting tickets may be hard, although this being the Giants, rather than AFC East rivals the Jets, may help.

Dolphins tickets are freakin' expensive. In the Lower Level, the 100 sections, seats go for $325 on the sidelines and $295 in the end zone. In the Upper Level, the 300 sections, they're $165 on the sidelines and $150 in the end zone. The 200 sections are Club Level, and, truly, prohibitively expensive, so don't even consider them.

Before you order online, or (if you are so foolhardy as to not have your tickets before you take off from Newark/JFK/LaGuardia) pay at the ticket window, be advised that the northeast sideline gets the full brunt of the sun during day games, although that won't be a problem this time, as it's a Monday night game.

Getting There. It’s 1,283 miles from Times Square in New York to downtown Miami, and 1,267 miles from MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey to Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida.

Knowing this distance, your first reaction is going to be to fly down there. This is not a horrible idea, but you’ll still have to get from the airport to wherever your hotel is. If you’re trying to get from the airport to downtown, you’ll need to change buses – or change from a bus to Miami’s Tri-Rail rapid transit service. And it is possible, if you order quickly, to find nonstop flights, lasting 3 hours, for under $500 round-trip.

The train is not a very good idea, because you’ll have to leave Penn Station on Amtrak’s Silver Star at 11:02 AM and arrive in Miami at 5:58 the next day’s evening, a 31-hour ride. The return trip will leave at 8:10 AM and return to New York at 11:00 AM, “only” 27 hours – no, there’s no time-zone change involved. Round-trip, it’ll cost $386. And the station isn’t all that close, at 8303 NW 37th Avenue. Fortunately, there’s a Tri-Rail station there that will take you downtown.

How about Greyhound? There are 5 buses leaving Port Authority every day with connections to Miami, only one of them nonstop, the 10:45 PM to 7:30 AM (2 days later) version. The rest require you to change buses in Richmond and Orlando. (This is not fun, but, since New York to Miami should be straight down and back up I-95, it's also pointless. Resting the passengers, changing the driver and refueling the bus all make sense; making passengers change buses, twice, doesn't.)

The ride, including the changeovers, takes about 33 hours. Round-trip fare is $438, but it can be cut by more than half to $198 with advanced purchase. The station is at 4111 NW 27th Street and, ironically, is right across 42nd Avenue from the airport. It’s worth the fact that it’ll cost twice as much to simply fly down. Plus, going from New York to Miami on Greyhound, you might be reminded of the end of the movie Midnight Cowboy, and nobody wants to be reminded of that.

If you want to drive, it'll help to get someone to go down with you, and take turns driving. You’ll be going down Interstate 95 (or its New Jersey equivalent, the Turnpike) almost the whole way. It’ll be about 2 hours from the Lincoln Tunnel to the Delaware Memorial Bridge, 20 minutes in Delaware, and an hour and a half in Maryland, before crossing the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, at the southern tip of the District of Columbia, into Virginia. Then it will be 3 hours or so in Virginia, another 3 hours in North Carolina, about 3 hours and 15 minutes in South Carolina, a little under 2 hours in Georgia, and about 6 hours and 15 minutes in Florida before you reach downtown Miami – maybe a little under 6 hours if you get a hotel near the stadium.

Given rest stops, preferably in one in each State from Maryland to Georgia and 2 in Florida, you’re talking about a 28-hour trip.

Once In the City. A lot of people don't realize it, because Miami is Florida's most famous city, but the most populous city in the State is Jacksonville.  However, while Miami has about 425,000 people within the city limits, there are 5.6 million living in the metro area, making it far and away the largest in the South, not counting Texas.

Because Florida is so hot, and air-conditioning didn't become common until the mid-20th Century, Miami was founded rather late by the standards of the East coast, in 1825, and wasn't incorporated as a city until 1896. The name is derived from the Mayaimi tribe of Native Americans. Miami Avenue is the east-west divider, Flagler Street the north-south.

The Herald is the only major newspaper left in the city, but the Sun-Sentinel of Fort Lauderdale should also be available. And, considering how many ex-New Yorkers are around, you might also be able to get the Times, the Daily News, or, if you're really desperate (or really conservative), the Post.

The sales tax in Florida is 6 percent, but it's 7 percent within Miami-Dade County. Since 1984, Miami has had a rapid-transit rail service, Metrorail, and a downtown-only smaller service, Metromover. Both above-ground, sort of like Chicago's El and the Detroit People Mover, if they were in the same city. The fare for the Metrorail and the Metrobus is $2.25.
Metrorail above, and the smaller Metromover below

Tri-Rail has run commuter rail service since 1989, linking 3 Counties: Dade (Miami), Broward (Fort Lauderdale) and Palm Beach.
A Tri-Rail train

Going In. Sun Life Stadium is probably best known under its original name, Joe Robbie Stadium, named for the owner of the NFL’s Miami Dolphins, who had it built for them and for a hypothetical MLB team that became the Marlins. It’s 15 miles north of downtown Miami, in a location that’s been called, at various times, Miami, Miami Lakes, Miami Gardens, Carol City and Opa-Locka. Sounds like a bad variety show sketch.

The best way to get there from downtown is to take I-95 North to the Florida Turnpike (renamed the Ronald Reagan Turnpike, and, contrary to "conservative principles," the Gipper did believe in good roads), to Exit 2X for Northwest 199th Street. NW 199th is also known as Dan Marino Boulevard, named after some guy who never won a championship, college or pro. The Stadium is between 199th and 203rd, and between the Turnpike and 27th Avenue, across 203rd and Snake Creek from Calder Race Course. The exact address is 347 Don Shula Drive, for the coach who won the Dolphins' 2 titles and the record number of NFL coaching wins he has.

Like tickets, parking is expensive: $40. Tailgating is permitted.
Before the renovation, with the seats in Dolphin aqua & orange

Public transportation there is a bit trickier. You'd have to take Metrorail from downtown to M.L. King Rail Station, then transfer to the Number 27 bus, riding that to NW 199th Street & NW 27th Court. And then you'd have to walk down 199th for about 15 minutes and turn into the parking lot. Not exactly ideal. (Somehow, I don't think a situation like this, especially with a transit station with his name on it, was part of Martin Luther King's dream. But he certainly would have approved of a racially mixed crowd watching racially mixed teams playing each other.)

The gates go from A, on the 1st base side, around the stadium clockwise, to H, in the right field corner. Gates G and H open an hour and a half before first pitch, all others one hour before.

In spite of South Florida’s climate – the stadium probably gets more rain than any other in the NFL, including Seattle – umbrellas are not permitted inside. "Safety concerns," No, I’m not making that up, it’s on the Dolphins' website. The field runs northwest-to-southeast, and is natural grass.
In mid-renovation. Note the all-aqua seats,
and that the upper deck is no longer fully-enclosed.
By the start of next season, there will be a roof
to shield the fans from sun and rain.
The corner spaces will be filled by giant video screens.

The stadium has been home to the Dolphins since 1987; the Orange Bowl game in 1996, 1997, 1998 and since 2000; the University of Miami football team since 2008 (their games were the last thing the Orange Bowl stadium hosted before its demolition to make way for Marlins Park); the Marlins from 1993 to 2011; and the Champs Sports Bowl from 1990 to 2000.

It's hosted 5 Super Bowls: XXIII (1989, San Francisco over Cincinnati), XXIX (1995, San Francisco over San Diego), XXXIII (1999, Denver over Atlanta), XLI (2007, Indianapolis over Chicago, and the only Super Bowl that's yet been rained on) and XLIV (2011, Green Bay over Pittsburgh). Sites for Super Bowls LIII and LIV (2019 and 2020) have not yet been selected, but Sun Life Stadium (or whatever it would be named by that point) will likely be awarded one of them. (Update: It was awarded Super Bowl LIV.)

It's also hosted 2 World Series: 1997, Marlins over Cleveland; and 2003, Marlins over, uh, let's move on. It hosted 4 BCS National Championship Games: 2001 (Oklahoma over Florida State), 2005 (USC over Oklahoma), 2009 (Florida over Oklahoma) and 2013 (Alabama over Notre Dame).

The stadium is also a premier U.S. soccer venue. On August 6, 1989, North London giants Arsenal played Argentine club Independiente, each team coming off winning its national league title. Arsenal won, 2-1, but only 10,042 fans came out to see it in the oppressive Summer Florida heat. (Perhaps this is why Arsenal did not play in North America again for 25 years, coming to Red Bull Arena in 2014.) Other major club teams to play there include Mexico's Chivas of Guadalajara; England's Chelsea of London, Everton of Liverpool and Manchester United; Spain's Real Madrid, Barcelona and Valencia; and Italy's AC Milan, Internazionale and Juventus.

The U.S. national team has played there 4 times: A 1-0 loss to Colombia on April 22, 1990; a 1-1 draw with Bolivia on February 18, 1994; a 3-1 loss to Sweden on February 20, 1994; and a 1-0 win over Honduras on October 8, 2011.

Food. With a great Hispanic, and especially Cuban, heritage, and also being in Southeastern Conference country (hello, tailgating), you would expect the football team in Miami to have great food at their stadium. Centerplate runs their concessions, and the stadium renovations include better options. From the Miami Herald:

* Sloppy Joe's (based on the famous Key West bar) at Sections 106, 144 and 317.
* Kosher Central (Hey, a lot of ex-New Yorker Jews in South Florida) at 111.
* BurgerFi at 114, 124 and 350.
* Craft Beer Tap Room at 117 and 147.
* Versailles (A French theme?) at 119 and 317.
* Sushi Maki at 126.
* Bodega Taqueria at 142, 329 and 345.
* Paradise Cups at 155.

Team History Displays. The Dolphins are celebrating their 50th season (their 50th Anniversary would be next year), and while it's been over 40 years since their last title, they have lots of history. The Dolphins Honor Roll currently honors the undefeated 1972 team and 26 individuals:

* From the 1972 team that went undefeated and won Super Bowl VII, and the 1973 team that won Super Bowl VIII: Founding owner Joe Robbie, head coach Don Shula, defensive coordinator Bill Arnsparger, quarterback Bob Griese, running back Larry Csonka, receiver Paul Warfield, tight end Jim Mandich, center Jim Langer, guards Larry Little and Bob Kuechenberg, defensive end Bill Stanfill, defensive tackle Manny Fernandez, linebacker Nick Buoniconti, and safeties Jake Scott and Dick Anderson.

* From the 1982 team that reached Super Bowl XVII: Robbie, Shula, Arnsparger, center Dwight Stephenson, receivers Nat Moore and Mark Duper, defensive end Doug Betters and defensive tackle Bob Baumhower.

* From the 1984 team that reached Super Bowl XIX, the team's most recent appearance: Robbie, Shula, Moore, Duper, Betters, Baumhower, quarterback Dan Marino and receiver Mark Clayton.

* From the 1992 team that reached and hosted the AFC Championship Game, the team's most recent appearance: Shula, Marino, Duper, Clayton, offensive tackle Richmond Webb and linebacker John Offerdahl.

* From the 2000 team that won the AFC Eastern Division, a year after Marino retired: Webb, defensive end Jason Taylor and linebacker Zach Thomas.

As yet, no players have been inducted from the 2008 AFC East title, which remains the Dolphins' most recent Playoff appearance, although Taylor had left before that season, and would return.
Jim "Mad Dog" Mandich's notation
on the Dolphins Honor Roll revealed in 2012

Little, Warfield, Marino and Stephenson were named to The Sporting News' 100 Greatest Football Players in 1999. Warfield and Marino were named to the NFL Network's 100 Greatest Players in 2010.

The Dolphins have retired 3 numbers: Griese's 12, Marino's 13 and Csonka's 39. Prior to the renovation, those numbers were flown on flags on the stadium's rim.
There's also a statue of Marino. Contrary to popular belief, he is not shown shaking a closed fist to show you how many Super Bowl rings he has won.
Stuff. The Dolphins' Team Store is located on the ground level, in the Grand Plaza, south entrance. For non-event days, it's open Monday to Friday, 8:30 AM to 5:30 PM, and on Saturday from 10 to 2. I'm trying to imagine what it might sell to put on your head, like Green Bay does with cheese wedges, Chicago with a deep dish pizza slice, or Philadelphia with a cheesesteak. A Cuban sandwich? Or maybe a Dolphin dorsal fin?

As Florida's oldest major league sports team, there are a few books written about the Dolphins. In 2002, on the 30th Anniversary of the undefeated season, Shula collaborated with Dave Hyde on Still Perfect! The Untold Story of the 1972 Miami Dolphins. Interestingly enough, Hyde, a columnist for the Sun-Sentinel, is a graduate of Miami University... of Ohio, and published a book about Miami graduate Woody Hayes and his Ohio State National Champions of 1968. (Shula is also from Ohio, but went to John Carroll University, not The... Ohio State University or Miami, a.k.a. "the Cradle of Coaches.")

In August 2012, on the 40th Anniversary, Griese came out with Perfection: The Inside Story of the 1972 Miami Dolphins' Perfect Season, followed that same month by Undefeated: Inside the 1972 Miami Dolphins' Perfect Season, by Mike Freeman of Bleacher Report, who also wrote biographies of Jim Brown and Bobby Bowden, and a book that was critical of ESPN. Newly published is Douglas Todt's story of the Miami teams that couldn't go all the way: Deflated Dreams: The Miami Dolphins in the Dan Marino Era.

DVDs about the Dolphins available on Amazon.com include an official team history produced in 2010, a 40th Anniversary tribute to the undefeated 1972 team including a disc of the entire broadcast of Super Bowl VII, and another such tribute to the 1973 team including a disc of the entire broadcast of Super Bowl VIII.

During the Game. South Florida is loaded with people who came from elsewhere, including ex-New Yorkers. The stereotype is that, when a New Yorker gets old, if he has enough money to do so, he moves to Miami. Especially if he’s Jewish. Or Italian. As a result, you may see a lot of Jet or Giant fans, few of whom switched to the Dolphins.

However, despite Dolphin fans' hatred of the Jets (and, to a lesser extent, the New England Patriots, the Oakland Raiders and the Pittsburgh Steelers), your safety should not be an issue. Sun Life Stadium is an island in a sea of parking, nowhere near any high crime area.

After years of having a live dolphin mascot, named Flipper after the TV dolphin, in 1997 the Dolphins debuted a man in a costume, T.D. (standing for either "The Dolphin" or "Touchdown").
Denny Sym, a.k.a. Dolfan Denny, cheered the team on for its 1st 33 years as a one-man sideline show, often leading the crowd in cheers and chants from each corner of the field. He usually wore glittering orange and aqua hats. In 1976, the Dolphins began paying him $50 per game (about $209 in today's money) to cheer from the sideline, after being impressed by his spirit and passion. He got sick in 2000, and retired his act, dying in 2007 at age 72.
He looked a bit like Buddy Hackett.

The Dolphins hold auditions for National Anthem singers, instead of having a regular singer. "The Dolphins Fight Song" goes back to the Super Bowl years (and was ripped off by the Houston Oilers), but recently got an update by rapper T-Pain. And there's not much in the way of fan chants, aside from "Let's go, Dolphins!"

After the Game. Miami has some rough areas, but you’re starting out in the suburbs, so you should be safe. As for where to go after the game, I can’t be sure. I checked for area bars where New Yorkers gather, and found one for each of the city’s NFL teams.

J.C. Wahoo’s Sports Bar and Grill is supposedly the home of the South Florida fan club of the Giants. But it’s at 3128 N. Federal Highway (yes, the same U.S. Route 1 that goes through The Bronx and New Jersey), between Northeast 31st and 32nd Streets, 40 miles north of downtown -- further north than Fort Lauderdale, or even Pompano Beach, almost up to Boca Raton. It’s not even all that close to the stadium.

The South Florida Jets Fan Club meets at Hammerjack’s, at 5325 S. University Drive in Davie, a bit closer to the stadium, but still 24 miles north of downtown.

Don't bother looking for Dan Marino's restaurants: They've all closed. He's had financial setbacks, partly due to paying his extramarital baby mama millions of dollars in hush money.

Sidelights. Miami’s sports history is long, but aside from football, it's not all that involved.

* Site of Orange Bowl/Marlins Park. The home of the team that became known as the Miami Marlins when they moved in for the 2012 season was built at the site of the stadium known as the Miami Orange Bowl. It will be a long time before it builds up anything of  history, but it will never match the history of the classic horseshoe with the palm trees at the open east end.

Opening in 1937, and known as Burdine Stadium until 1959, it hosted the Orange Bowl game on (or close to) every New Year’s Day from 1938 to 1995, and once more in 1999 when the Dolphins made the Playoffs to make their new stadium unavailable; the University of Miami football team from 1937 to 2007 (famed for its fake-smoke entrances out of the tunnel); the Miami Seahawks of the All-America Football Conference in 1946 (they moved to become the Baltimore Colts after just 1 season, but this was arguably the 1st “major league” team in any of the former Confederate States); the Bert Bell Benefit Bowl (a game involving the 2nd-place teams in each of the NFL’s divisions from 1960 to 1969, also known as the Playoff Bowl, a game so lame that Vince Lombardi once called it “the only game I never want to win” – and he didn’t); the Dolphins from 1966 to 1986; the Miami Toros of the North American Soccer League from 1972 to 1976; and 5 Super Bowls, most notably (from a New York perspective) Super Bowl III, when the Jets beat the Colts in one of the greatest upsets in sports history, on January 12, 1969. Super Bowl XIII, in 1979, was the last Super Bowl to be held here.
The Orange Bowl was where the Dolphins put together what remains the NFL's only true undefeated season, in 1972. The Canton Bulldogs had gone undefeated and untied in 1922, but there was no NFL Championship Game in those days. The Chicago Bears lost NFL Championship Games after going undefeated and untied in the regular seasons of 1932 and 1942. And the Cleveland Browns went undefeated and untied in the 1948 AAFC season, but that’s not the NFL.

The Dolphins capped their perfect season by winning Super Bowl VII, and then Super Bowl VIII. And yet, despite having reached the Super Bowl 5 times, and Miami having hosted 10 of them, the Dolphins have never played in a Super Bowl in their home region. (They’ve done so in Los Angeles twice, and once each in New Orleans, Houston and San Francisco.) They also haven’t been to one in 30 seasons, or all of their history in their new stadium. "The Curse of Joe Robbie," anyone?
The Orange Bowl also hosted Arsenal's 1st game in North America. Due to the length of the English soccer season, it was again the wrong time of year to host a soccer game in Miami. Only 4,725 fans saw the Gunners beat the Miami Gatos 3-2.

1501 NW 3rd Street, between 7th Street, 14th and 16th Avenues. Number 11 Bus west on Flagler Street from downtown, then 3 blocks north on 15th Avenue. Be careful, this is in Little Havana.

* Comfort Inn. This hotel, across 36th Street from the airport, was the site of the Playhouse, once considered one of South Florida’s finest banquet halls. It was here, on January 9, 3 days before the Super Bowl, at a dinner organized by the Miami Touchdown Club, that Joe Namath of the Jets was speaking, and some drunken Colts fan yelled out, “Hey, Namath! We’re gonna kick your ass on Sunday!” And Joe said, “Let me tell you something: We got a good team. And we’re gonna win. I guarantee it!” He was right.

NW 36th Street between Curtiss Parkway and Deer Run. MetroRail toward Palmetto, to Allapattah Station, then transfer to the 36 Bus.

* Site of Miami Stadium. Also known as Bobby Maduro Stadium, this was the home of the original Miami Marlins, of the Florida State League. Seating 13,000, it was known for its Art Deco entrance and a roof that shielded nearly the entire seating area, to protect fans from the intense Miami weather.  The FSL team that played here was known as the Sun Sox from 1949 to 1954, the Marlins from 1956 to 1960, the Marlins again 1962 to 1970, the Miami Orioles 1971 to 1981, and the Marlins again from 1982 to 1988. These teams won FSL Pennants in 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972 and 1978 -- giving Miami 7 Pennants, counting those won by the NL Marlins.

Miami Stadium was the spring training home of the Brooklyn Dodgers from 1950 to 1957, the Dodgers in their first season in Los Angeles in 1958 (it can be said that “the Los Angeles Dodgers” played their 1st game here, not in California), and the Baltimore Orioles from 1959 to 1990.

It was demolished in 2001, and The Miami Stadium Apartments were built on the site. 2301 NW 10th Avenue, off 23rd Street. It’s just off I-95, and 8 blocks north and east from the Santa Clara MetroRail station.

* American Airlines Arena. The "Triple-A" has been the home of the NBA’s Miami Heat since 2000, including their 2006, 2012 and 2013 NBA Championship seasons. The Miami Sol of the WNBA also played here, from 2000 to 2002. 601 Biscayne Blvd. (U.S. Routes 1 & 41), between NE 6th and 8th Streets, across Port Blvd. from the Bayside Marketplace shopping center (not exactly their version of the South Street Seaport) and the Miami outlets of Hooters, the Hard Rock Café and Bubba Gump Shrimp. Freedom Tower station on Metromover.

* Site of Miami Arena. This was the home of the Heat from 1988 to 1999, the NHL’s Florida Panthers from 1993 to 1998, and the University of Miami basketball team from 1988 to 2003. When the Overtown race riot happened in January 16 to 18, 1989, in the week before Super Bowl XXIII, area residents took great pains to protect this arena from damage, and succeeded.

This building was demolished in 2008. Only 20 years? Apparently, like the multipurpose stadiums of the 1960s and ‘70s, and the Meadowlands Arena and the Nassau Coliseum, it served its purpose – getting teams to come in – and then quickly became inadequate. Grand Central Park, a public park, was built on the site. 701 Arena Blvd., between Miami Avenue, NW 1st Avenue, and 6th and 8th Streets. Overtown/Arena rail station.

* BB&T Center. This has been the home of the NHL’s Florida Panthers since 1998, and there’s a reason the team is called “Florida” instead of “Miami”: The arena is 34 miles northwest of downtown Miami, and 14 miles west of downtown Fort Lauderdale, in a town called Sunrise. 1 Panther Parkway, at NW 136th . If you don’t have a car, you’d have to take the 195 Bus to Fort Lauderdale, and then the 22 Bus out to the arena.

* Miami Beach Convention Center. Opened in 1957, it seats 15,000 people. The American Basketball Association’s Miami Floridians played here from 1968 to 1972. The 1968 Republican Convention, and both major parties’ Conventions in 1972, were held here. (Both Republican Conventions nominated Richard Nixon, the Democrats' nominated George McGovern.) Why? Simple, they wanted to be away from any city's downtown, putting water between themselves and wherever the hippies and another antiwar demonstrators were staying.

This building hosted the heavyweight title fights of 1961 (Floyd Patterson-Ingemar Johansson III, Floyd won) and 1964 (Cassius Clay-Sonny Liston I, Clay winning and then changing his name to Muhammad Ali). Just 9 days before Ali forced his “total eclipse of the Sonny,” on February 16, 1964, the Beatles played their 2nd full-length U.S. concert here. They visited Ali at his Miami training center, and a famous photo was taken. Elvis Presley gave a pair of concerts here on September 12, 1970.
Convention Center Drive between 17th Street and Dade Blvd. The Jackie Gleason Theater, where “The Great One” taped his 1960s version of The Jackie Gleason Show (including a now rarely-seen revival of The Honeymooners) is next-door. This, and any other Miami Beach location, can be reached via the 103, 113 or 119 Bus, or a car, over the MacArthur Causeway.

* Site of Coconut Grove Convention Center. This former Pan Am hangar, attached to the Dinner Key Marina in 1930, was used as a Naval Air Station, a convention center, a concert hall, a 6,900-seat sports arena (the Floridians played a few home games here), and as the indoor-scenes studio for the USA Network show Burn Notice.

It’s also been known as the Dinner Key Auditorium. Under that name, on March 1, 1969, The Doors gave a concert here, and lead singer Jim Morrison supposedly committed an indecent act there. (Yeah, he told the crowd, “I’m from Florida! I went to Florida State! Then I got smart and moved to California!”)

It was demolished in 2013, and a park is being built on the site. 2700 S. Bayshore Drive, at Pan American Drive & 27th Avenue, in the Coconut Grove section of town. Number 102 Bus to Number 48.

* Gusman Center for the Performing Arts. Formerly the Olympic Theater, Elvis sang here on August 3 and 4, 1956. 174 E. Flagler Street, downtown.

Several TV shows have been set in Miami. A restaurant called Jimbo’s Place was used to film scenes from Flipper and Miami Vice, and more recently CSI: Miami and the aforementioned Burn Notice. It’s at 4201 Rickenacker Causeway in Key Biscayne, accessible by the Causeway (by car) and the 102 Bus (by public transportation).

Greenwich Studios has been used to film Miami Vice, True Lies, There’s Something About Mary and The Birdcage. It’s at 16th Avenue between 121st and 123rd Streets, in North Miami, and often stands in for Miami Beach for the TV shows and movies for which it’s used. 93 Bus.

The penthouse used by the Kardashian Sisters to tape Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami is on Ocean Drive between 1st and 2nd Streets in Miami Beach, but I don’t think they use it anymore, especially since Kourtney and Kim have now “taken New York.”

If you’re a fan of The Golden Girls, you won’t find the house used for the exterior shots. It’s actually in Los Angeles. The address mentioned on the show was 6151 Richmond Street, but that address doesn't exist in Miami.

The largest college in the area is, as you might have guessed, the University of Miami. Its new Donna E. Shalala Student Center, named for the former University President and U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services under President Bill Clinton, is at 1330 Miller Drive, about 7 miles southwest of downtown. University Station on Metrorail.

Florida International University is at 11200 SW 8th Street, 16 miles west of downtown. Its FIU Stadium, seating 23,500, is at 11310 SW 17th Street. Bus 8. It should not be confused with Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton. Its 30,000 FAU Stadium is at FAU Blvd. & N. University Drive. Tri-Rail to Boca Raton station. On October 14, 2014, the U.S. soccer team had a 1-1 draw with Honduras at FAU Stadium.

While no President has ever been born in Florida, or grew up there, or even had his permanent residence there, Miami has a key role in Presidential history. On February 15, 1933, President-elect Franklin Roosevelt and Chicago Mayor Anton Cermak were at a rally in Bayfront Park, when Giuseppe Zangara started shooting. FDR was not hit, but Cermak was, and he died on March 6, just 2 days after FDR was inaugurated. Bayfront Park station on Metromover.

More recently, the building where the votes for Dade County were supposed to be counted in the 2000 election was besieged by protestors, hired by House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, so Miami was ground zero for the theft of the election by the George W. Bush campaign. The University of Miami's Convocation Center hosted a Presidential Debate between Bush and John Kerry in 2004. And Lynn University in Boca Raton hosted a Presidential Debate between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in 2012. 3601 N. Military Trail. Tri-Rail to Boca Raton, then Bus 2.

Miami's top 2 museums are the Perez Art Museum Miami (PAMM), at 1103 Biscayne Blvd., Museum Park station on Metromover; and the Patricia and Philip Frost Museum of Science, at 3280 S. Miami Avenue, Vizcaya station on Metrorail.

At 789 feet, the tallest building in the State of Florida since 2003 has been the Four Seasons Hotel Miami, at 1435 Brickell Avenue downtown. Financial District station on Metromover. Indeed, Miami has seen a building boom, with the waterfront becoming home to a series of skyscrapers known as the Biscayne Wall. The tallest of Miami's older buildings is the Freedom Tower, built in 1925 as the home of the now-defunct Miami News. It now houses Miami-Dade College and a Museum. 600 Biscayne Blvd., downtown, across from the American Airlines Arena. Freedom Tower station on Metromover.

*

You don't have to be old to be a New Yorker in Miami -- but it helps to be a sports fan. Since this is Giants vs. Dolphins, not Jets vs. Dolphins, the intensity of the rivalry won't be there. You should be able to enjoy yourself, even if neither team is all that good at the moment.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

How to Be a Met Fan In Miami

I'll have a rant about the new Devils' coach tomorrow.

This weekend, thee Mets head down to Miami – or, at least, the suburbs of Miami – to play the Florida Marlins.

Next season, the team will move into a new stadium in the City of Miami, and officially rename themselves the Miami Marlins, which was also the name of a team in the Florida State League. Therefore, this information is only applicable to their final 2 trips there in this season, this weekend and September 5 to 7.

I should also issue a disclaimer that, while I have been to Orlando and Tampa, I have never been to Miami; therefore, all of this information is secondhand. However, I have based it on information from local sources, including the Marlins' own website, so it is presumably accurate and up-to-date.

Before You Go. Presume that it will be hot, and that it will be rainy. This is why the new ballpark will have a retractable roof. The current stadium, however, has no roof, which means there's no protection from either rain or sun at your seat. So dress lightly, wear a hat, keep hydrated, and you should probably bring an umbrella.

Getting There. It's 1,283 miles from Times Square in New York to downtown Miami, and about the same distance from Citi Field in Flushing Meadow to what's currently named Sun Life Stadium, in a location that's been called, at various times, Miami, Miami Lakes, Miami Gardens, Carol City and Opa-Locka. Sounds like a bad variety show sketch.

Knowing this distance, your first reaction is going to be to fly down there. This is not a horrible idea, but you'll still have to get from the airport to wherever your hotel is. If you're trying to get from the airport to downtown, you’ll need to change buses – or change from a bus to Miami's Tri-Rail rapid transit service. And it is possible, if you order quickly, to find nonstop flights, lasting 3 hours, for under $600 round-trip.

The train is not a very good idea, because you’ll have to leave Penn Station on Amtrak’s Silver Star at 11:02 AM and arrive in Miami at 6:05 the next day’s evening, a 31-hour ride. The return trip will leave at 8:20 AM and return to New York at 11:06 AM, “only” 27 hours – no, there’s no time-zone change involved. Round-trip, it’ll cost $434. And the station isn’t all that close, at 8303 NW 37th Avenue. Fortunately, there’s a Tri-Rail station there that will take you downtown.

How about Greyhound? There are 5 buses leaving Port Authority every day with connections to Miami, only one of them nonstop, the 10:45 PM to 7:30 AM (2 days later) version. The rest require you to change buses in Richmond and Orlando. (This is not fun.) The ride, including the changeovers, takes about 33 hours. Round-trip fare is $309. The station is at 4111 NW 27th Street and, ironically, is right across 42nd Avenue from the airport. It’s worth the fact that it’ll cost twice as much to simply fly down. Plus, you might be reminded of the end of the movie Midnight Cowboy, and nobody wants to be reminded of that.

If you want to drive, it'll help to get someone to go down with you, and take turns driving. You’ll be going down Interstate 95 (or its New Jersey equivalent, the Turnpike) almost the whole way. It’ll be about 2 hours from the Lincoln Tunnel to the Delaware Memorial Bridge, 20 minutes in Delaware, and an hour and a half in Maryland, before crossing the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, at the southern tip of the District of Columbia, into Virginia. Then it will be 3 hours or so in Virginia, another 3 hours in North Carolina, about 3 hours and 15 minutes in South Carolina, a little under 2 hours in Georgia, and about 6 hours and 15 minutes in Florida before you reach downtown Miami – maybe a little under 6 hours if you get a hotel near the stadium. Given rest stops, preferably in one in each State from Maryland to Georgia and 2 in Florida, you’re talking about a 28-hour trip.

Tickets. The Marlins are averaging 17,101 fans per game – dead last in the major leagues. Although they opened strong as an expansion franchise in 1993 with 37,838, and were doing well in 1994 with 33,695 before the strike hit, only in their 1997 World Championship season, 29,190, have they since topped 24,000. Even in their World Championship season of 2003, they averaged just 16,290. Although Sun Life Stadium (the 7th name the facility has had in its 24 years of operation) has 75,192 seats for football and, during World Series play, topped out at 67,498, much of the upper deck has been tarped off, and official baseball capacity is 38,560 turning what could be the largest stadium in the majors into one of the smallest.

So getting tickets will be no problem: Pretty much anything you can afford will be available. We’re talking about the kind of situation where you can call the ticket office and ask, “What time does the game start?” and have them say, “What time can you get here?” Hopefully, that will change next season, with the new downtown (sort of) ballpark. Infield Boxes cost $48, Bullpen Boxes (lower level, down the lines) $33, Outfield Terrace $26, and the “Fish Tank” (center field bleachers) $15.

Going In. Sun Life Stadium is probably best known under its original name, Joe Robbie Stadium, named for the owner of the NFL’s Miami Dolphins, who had it built for them and for a hypothetical MLB team that became the Marlins. It’s 15 miles north of downtown Miami. The best way to get there from downtown is to take I-95 North to the Florida Turnpike (renamed the Ronald Reagan Turnpike, and contrary to “conservative principles” the Gipper did believe in good roads), to Exit 2X for Northwest 199th Street. NW 199th is also known as Dan Marino Boulevard, named after some guy who never won a championship, college or pro. The Stadium is between 199th and 203rd, and between the Turnpike and 27th Avenue, across 203rd and Snake Creek from Calder Race Course.

Since 1984, Miami has had a rapid-transit rail service. Take Metrorail toward Palmetto, and get off at the Martin Luther King Jr. station. (I doubt if a sports stadium in the Miami suburbs was a part of Dr. King’s dream, although stadiums and performing-arts venues with racially-integrated seating sure was.)

The gates go from A, on the 1st base side, around the stadium clockwise, to H, in the right field corner. Gates G and H open an hour and a half before first pitch, all others one hour before.

In spite of South Florida’s climate – the stadium probably gets more rain than any other in the majors, including Seattle – umbrellas are not permitted inside. “Safety concerns.” No, I’m not making that up, it’s on the Marlins’ website.

Of course, having been built for the Dolphins first, the seats are all orange, the trim aquamarine. The Marlins might call it “teal,” to match their main solid color, but it’s aquamarine. As a Met fan, and possibly also as a Knick or Islander fan, you probably won’t mind all that orange; as a Jet fan, who probably feels about the Dolphins the way Republicans feel about Medicaid, you might mind it.

The field points southeast, toward downtown, but, as the stadium is completely enclosed, you won’t see anything. Not that there would be much to see, anyway, since the 15-mile gap between stadium and downtown means that even the taller buildings in the city wouldn’t look like much from that distance.

Food. With a great Hispanic, and especially Cuban, heritage, and also being in Southeastern Conference country (hello, tailgating), you would expect the baseball team in Miami to have great food at their stadium. Unfortunately, the fact that that Marlins are promoting the heck out of their new ballpark on their website means that certain details about the current stadium are lacking.

I had to go to the Dolphins’ website to even tell you this much: Centerplate runs their concessions, and they offer the usual ballpark fare, plus things like Cuban sandwiches and Cuban coffee (certainly understandable, given the area’s ethnic makeup), Chilean sea bass, Asian stir-fry, Margaritas (some people claim that there’s a woman to blame, but I know… it’s Centerplate’s fault), salads, and baked goods such as cookies and pies. Sounds great; hopefully, the same items are available for Marlins games, but considering the franchise’s cheapness, first under Wayne Huizenga and now under Jeffrey Loria, I have my doubts.

Team History Displays. Not much. The Marlins hang outfield banners for their 1997 and 2003 World Championships, their only trips to the postseason. Their only retired number is for Carl Barger, their team president, who organized the team for the start of the 1993 season and then died right before it. He was a friend of Joe DiMaggio, who lived in nearby Hollywood, Florida, and threw out the first ball at the Marlins’ first game. In Barger’s memory, and in connection with his friendship with the Yankee Clipper, Huizenga retired Number 5 for Barger, who never wore it – not even for fun.

The Marlins do not have a Team Hall of Fame. Two uniformed men involved with the franchise have been elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame, neither of whom got in due to anything they did with the Marlins: Tony Perez, a Cuban exile who lives in Miami and who was briefly their manager, and Andre Dawson, a Miami native who closed his career with the Marlins and now works in their front office.

Stuff. The Marlins have team stores in the stadium, but nothing out of the ordinary: Caps, jerseys, T-shirts, bats, gloves, stuffed Billy the Marlin dolls.

A few books have been written for the Marlins, and may be available in the team stores. Dan Schlossberg, Miami Herald columnist Dave Barr, Kevin Baxter and Marlin star Jeff Conine collaborated on Miracle Over Miami: How the 2003 Marlins Shocked the World. Jenny Reese wrote The History of the Florida Marlins, published just last year and thus, more or less, up to date. One book you will almost certainly not see in the stores is Dave Rosenbaum’s book about how Huizenga “went all in” to win the 1997 World Series, then broke the team up, going from 92-70 that season to 54-108 the next, having practically come out and told everyone that a 100-plus-loss next season was likely. The title of the book? If They Don’t Win It’s a Shame. (Yeah, tell that to the Giants, who they beat in the NLDS and who had never yet won a Series in San Francisco; and to the Indians, who blew a 9th-inning lead in Game 7 of the Series and still haven’t won a Series since 1948.)

Although the Marlins have won 2 World Series and have been around for nearly 20 years now, there is, as yet, no commemorative DVD of their World Series highlight films, and no The Essential Games of the Florida Marlins/(Name of Stadium).

During the Game. South Florida is loaded with people who came from elsewhere, including ex-New Yorkers. The stereotype is that, when a New Yorker gets old, if he has enough money to do so, he moves to Miami. Especially if he’s Jewish. Or Italian. As a result, you may see a lot of Met fans, few of whom switched to the Marlins. You may run into a few Yankee Fans who adopted the Marlins are their “second team” or their “National League team,” although how many of them kept that status after the 2003 World Series (blast you, Jeff Weaver – Alex Gonzalez sure did) is debatable.

However, your safety should not be an issue. The new ballpark, on the site of the Orange Bowl, is in a questionable neighborhood; and the Miami Arena, first home of the Heat and the Panthers, was on the edge of the Overtown neighborhood. But at Dolphin Stadium (whatever you want to call it), you will almost certainly be fine. Miamians might fight if they’re at a Dolphins game and provoked by visiting fans, but not at a Marlins game.

The Marlins’ mascot is Billy the Marlin, whose name was chosen by Huizenga because a Marlin is a “billfish” – and it has nothing to do with Billy Martin, in spite of the character’s large nose. Billy sometimes “water-skis” in behind a golf cart built to look like a boat. Any resemblance to Richie Cunningham driving the boat that allowed the Fonz to jump the shark on Happy Days is strictly coincidental.

Worse than a dopey mascot, the Marlins have cheerleaders. No, I’m not making this up: They are the one MLB team with cheerleaders. Or, as they would put it, a dance/cheer team. The Marlins Mermaids debuted in 2003. As noted Phillies fan Bill Cosby would say, “Don’t ever say, ‘It can’t get any worse. It can always get worse!’” In 2008, the team debuted the Marlins Manatees, an all-male “dance/energy squad” who perform alongside the Mermaids. You want to blame the Yankees for having the grounds crew dance to “YMCA,” go ahead, that’s one “Yankee Tradition” I don’t like, anyway; but this, as noted Met fan Oscar Madison (Jack Klugman on The Odd Couple) would say, is as ridiculous as Aristophanes.

Sun Life Stadium is 330 feet to the left-field pole, and 361 to left-center. Sounds like a good park for a righthanded hitter, especially in Florida heat. But Florida humidity slows fly balls down. And it’s 345 feet to right, 361 to right-center, 404 to center, and the deepest part of the park is 431 feet. This is a pitcher’s park.

The Marlins do not have a regular song to play in the 7th inning stretch after "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." Nor do they have a postgame victory song.

After the Game. Miami has some rough areas, but you’re starting out in the suburbs, so you should be safe. As for where to go after the game, I can’t be sure. I checked for area bars where New Yorkers gather, and found one for each of the city’s NFL teams.

J.C. Wahoo’s Sports Bar and Grill is supposedly the home of the South Florida fan club of the Giants. But it’s at 3128 N. Federal Highway (yes, the same U.S. Route 1 that goes through The Bronx and New Jersey) between Northeast 31st and 32nd Streets, 40 miles north of downtown – further north than Fort Lauderdale, or even Pompano Beach, almost up to Boca Raton. It’s not even all that close to the stadium. The South Florida Jets Fan Club meets at Hammerjack’s, at 5325 S. University Drive in Davie, a bit closer to the stadium, but still 24 miles north of downtown.

Sidelights. Miami’s sports history is long, but aside from football, not all that involved.

Site of Orange Bowl/New Marlins Ballpark. The home of the team that will become known next April as the Miami Marlins is well on its way to completion, at the site of the stadium known as the Miami Orange Bowl. Opening in 1937, and known as Burdine Stadium until 1959, it hosted the Orange Bowl game on (or close to) every New Year’s Day from 1938 to 1995; the University of Miami football team from 1937 to 2007 (famed for its fake-smoke entrances out of the tunnel), the Miami Seahawks of the All-America Football Conference in 1946 (they moved to become the Baltimore Colts after just 1 season, but this was arguably the first “major league” team in any of the former Confederate States), the Bert Bell Benefit Bowl (a game involving the 2nd-place teams in each of the NFL’s divisions from 1960 to 1969, also known as the Playoff Bowl, a game so lame that Vince Lombardi once called it “the only game I never want to win” – and he didn’t), the Miami Dolphins from 1966 to 1986, the Miami Toros of the North American Soccer League from 1972 to 1976, and 5 Super Bowls, most notably (from a New York perspective) Super Bowl III, when the Jets beat the Colts in one of the greatest upsets in sports history, on January 12, 1969. Super Bowl XIII, in 1979, was the last Super Bowl to be held here; all subsequent South Florida Super Bowls, including the next one, Super Bowl XLVI, have been held at the Dolphins’ stadium.

The Orange Bowl was where the Dolphins put together what remains the NFL’s only true undefeated season, in 1972. The Canton Bulldogs had gone undefeated and untied in 1922, but there was no NFL Championship Game in those days. The Chicago Bears lost NFL Championship Games after going undefeated and untied in the regular seasons of 1932 and ’42. And the Cleveland Browns went undefeated and untied in the 1948 AAFC season, but that’s not the NFL. The Dolphins capped their perfect season by winning Super Bowl VII, and then Super Bowl VIII. And yet, despite having reached the Super Bowl 5 times, and Miami having hosted 10 of them, the Dolphins have never played in a Super Bowl in their home region. (They’ve done so in New Orleans, Los Angeles twice, Houston and San Francisco.) They also haven’t been to one in 26 seasons, or all of their history in their new stadium. Curse of Joe Robbie, anyone?

The Orange Bowl was, and the new Marlins ballpark will be, at 1501 NW 3rd Street, between 7th Street, 14th and 16th Avenues. Number 11 Bus west on Flagler Street, then 3 blocks north on 15th Avenue. Be careful, this is in Little Havana.

Comfort Inn. This hotel, across 36th Street from the airport, was the site of the Playhouse, once considered one of South Florida’s finest banquet halls. It was here, on January 9, 3 days before the Super Bowl, at a dinner organized by the Miami Touchdown Club, that Joe Namath of the Jets was speaking, and some drunken Colts fan yelled out, “Hey, Namath! We’re gonna kick your ass on Sunday!” And Joe said, “Let me tell you something: We got a good team. And we’re gonna win. I guarantee it!” He was right. NW 36th Street between Curtiss Parkway and Deer Run. MetroRail toward Palmetto, to Allapattah Station, then transfer to the 36 Bus.

Site of Miami Stadium. Also known as Bobby Maduro Stadium, this was the home of the original Miami Marlins, of the Florida State League. Seating 13,000, it was known for its Art Deco entrance and a roof that shielded nearly the entire seating area, to protect fans from the intense Miami weather. The FSL team that played here was known as the Sun Sox from 1949 to 1954, the Marlins from 1956 to 1960, the Marlins again 1962 to 1970, the Miami Orioles 1971 to 1981, and the Marlins again from 1982 to 1988. It was the spring training home of the Brooklyn Dodgers from 1950 to 1957, the Dodgers in their first season in Los Angeles in 1958 (it can be said that “the Los Angeles Dodgers” played their first game here, not in California), and the Baltimore Orioles from 1959 to 1990. It was demolished in 2001, and The Miami Stadium Apartments were built on the site. 2301 NW 10th Avenue, off 23rd Street. It’s just off I-95, and 8 blocks north and east from the Santa Clara MetroRail station.

American Airlines Arena. The "Triple-A" has been the home of the NBA’s Miami Heat since 2000, including their 2006 NBA Championship season, and their 2011 Championship season with LeBron Ja – oooops… 601 Biscayne Blvd. (U.S. Routes 1 & 41), between NE 6th and 8th Streets, across Port Blvd. from the Bayside Marketplace shopping center (not exactly their version of the South Street Seaport) and the Miami outlets of Hooters, the Hard Rock Café and Bubba Gump Shrimp. The closest rapid-trail station is Overtown – ironically, the same stop for the previous sports arena…

Site of Miami Arena. Home of the Heat from 1988 to 1999, and the NHL’s Florida Panthers from 1993 to 1998, this building was demolished in 2008. Only 20 years? When the Overtown race riot happened in January 1989, just before Super Bowl XXIII, area residents took great pains to protect this arena from damage, and succeeded. Apparently, like the multipurpose stadiums of the 1960s and ‘70s, and the Meadowlands Arena and (soon?) the Nassau Coliseum, it served its purpose – getting teams to come in – and then quickly became inadequate. 701 Arena Blvd., between Miami Avenue, NW 1st Avenue, and 6th and 8th Streets. Overtown/Arena rail station.

Bank Atlantic Center. The home of the NHL’s Florida Panthers since 1998, and there’s a reason the team is called “Florida” instead of “Miami”: The arena is 34 miles northwest of downtown Miami, and 14 miles west of downtown Fort Lauderdale, in a town called Sunrise. 1 Panther Parkway, at NW 136th . If you don’t have a car, you’d have to take the 195 Bus to Fort Lauderdale, and then the 22 Bus out to the BAC.

Miami Beach Convention Center. Opened in 1975, it seats 15,000 people. The American Basketball Association’s Miami Floridians played here from 1968 to 1972. The 1968 Republican Convention, and both major parties’ Conventions in 1972, were held here. Why? Simple, they wanted to be away from a downtown, putting water between themselves and wherever the hippies and another antiwar demonstrators were staying.

This building hosted the heavyweight title fights of 1961 (Floyd Patterson-Ingemar Johansson III, Floyd won) and 1964 (Cassius Clay-Sonny Liston I, Clay winning and then changing his name to Muhammad Ali). Just 9 days before Ali forced his “total eclipse of the Sonny,” on February 16, 1964, the Beatles played their 2nd full-length U.S. concert here. (A photo exists of the Beatles visiting Ali at his Miami training center, and he knocks the 4 of them over like dominoes.) Elvis Presley gave a pair of concerts here on September 12, 1970.

Convention Center Drive between 17th Street and Dade Blvd. The Jackie Gleason Theater, where “The Great One” taped his 1960s version of The Jackie Gleason Show (including a revival of The Honeymooners) is next-door. This, and any other Miami Beach location, can be reached via the 103, 113 or 119 Bus, or car, over the MacArthur Causeway.

Coconut Grove Convention Center. This former Pan Am hangar, attached to the Dinner Key Marina, has been used as a Naval Air Station, convention center, concert hall and sports arena (the Floridians played a few home games here). It’s also been known as the Dinner Key Auditorium. On March 1, 1969, The Doors gave a concert here, and lead singer Jim Morrison supposedly committed an indecent act there. (Yeah, he told the crowd, “I’m from Florida! I went to Florida State! Then I got smart and moved to California!”) Pan American Drive at 27th Avenue. Number 102 Bus to Number 48.

Gusman Center for the Performing Arts. Formerly the Olympic Theater, Elvis sang here on August 3 and 4, 1956. 174 E. Flagler Street, downtown.

Several TV shows have been set in Miami. A restaurant called Jimbo’s Place was used to film scenes from Flipper and Miami Vice, and more recently CSI: Miami and Burn Notice. It’s at 4201 Rickenacker Causeway in Key Biscayne, accessible by the Causeway (by car) and the 102 Bus (by public transportation). Greenwich Studios has been used to film Miami Vice, True Lies, There’s Something About Mary and The Birdcage. It’s 16th Avenue between 121st and 123rd Streets, in North Miami, and often stands in for Miami Beach for the TV shows and movies for which it’s used. 93 Bus.

The penthouse used by the Kardashian Sisters to tape Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami is on Ocean Drive between 1st and 2nd Streets in Miami Beach, but I don’t think they use it anymore, especially since Kourtney and Kim have now “taken New York.”

If you’re a fan of The Golden Girls, you won’t find the house used for the exterior shots: It’s actually in Los Angeles.

*

You don't have to be old to be a New Yorker in Miami -- but it helps to be a sports fan. Who knows, the Mets might even get a little bit of revenge for those season-ending series of 2007 and '08.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I Hate Miami

I hate Miami. I hate that it was where a Presidential election was stolen. But I hated it before November 2000.

I hate the fakeness of the place. I hate that it's pink and aqua-green. I hate flamingoes.

I hate the Miami Dolphins. I hate the Miami Heat. I hate the University of Miami Hurricanes. I know the Florida Panthers are closer to downtown Fort Lauderdale than to downtown Miami, but I hate them, too.

I used to root for Penn State when they played the thuggish Hurricanes. Of course, now that I've seen the true character of that damned Paterno... but that's a subject for another time.

And I hate the Florida Marlins. The first time the Yankees ever had to play an Interleague series, in June 1997, it was in Miami at Joe Robbie Stadium. Uh, Pro Player Stadium. Er, Dolphin Stadium. Ulp, Land Shark Stadium. (Land Shark? Who's throwing out the first ball, Chevy Chase?) And they lost two of three to the Marlins. The Marlins ruined the Cleveland Indians' best chance to win a World Series since 1948. The Marlins beat the Giants, Braves and Indians in the 1997 postseason; they beat the Giants, Cubs and Yankees in the 2003 postseason; in each case, even though all three teams were better. The Marlins got lucky. (I still hate Jeff Weaver.)

Two years ago, I was at a certain restaurant with the family when Phil Hughes got hurt while pitching a no-hitter against the Mets, and hasn't been the same since. Today, first time I've eaten with the family at that same restaurant since, and the Yankees are playing the Marlins, and CC Sabathia gets hurt and leaves the game in the second inning. As with that earlier game, the Yankees ended up losing.

I hate Miami, and I'm thinking of boycotting that restaurant chain. Or, at least, not eating there with the family while the Yankees are playing.

I know, I know, Florida voted Democratic last November. But I still hate the Marlins. And the Dolphins. And the Heat. And the Panthers. And the Hurricanes.

The only thing I like about Miami is that Jennifer Lopez basically lives there now. But then, that's another reason to hate Miami, isn't it? They took her! Bastards...

Screw Jeffrey Loria. He never should have been allowed to wreck the Montreal Expos and buy the Marlins and win a World Series. A real Commissioner would step in, confiscate the Marlins, and move them to Montreal to take the place of the Expos/Nationals.

But then, baseball hasn't had a real Commissioner since Fay Vincent.