Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Micheal Ray Richardson, 1955-2025

It's hard to be named Michael Pacholek. You wouldn't believe how many ways "Pacholek" gets misspelled. But it shouldn't be hard to properly spell "Michael."

I've only known about one person who actually spelled the name "Micheal." And he was no role model.

Michael Ray Richardson, as his name was originally spelled, and he always used his full name, was born on April 11, 1955 in Lubbock, Texas, and grew up on the East Side of Denver, Colorado. He graduated from Manual High School, as did Wellington Webb, the 1st black Mayor of Denver, and Norman Rice, the 1st black Mayor of Seattle.

He was recruited to the University of Montana by head coach Jud Heathcote, who later coached Michigan State to the 1979 National Championship. He was succeeded at Montana by Jim Brandenburg, who, with Richardson as his best player, won the 1978 Big Sky Conference title.

The New York Knicks drafted him, and the New York media billed him as "the next Walt Frazier." Two picks later, the Boston Celtics drafted Larry Bird. Richardson made 3 All-Star Games as a Knick, was twice named to the NBA's All-Defensive Team, and led the league in assists and steals in 1980.

But the Knicks were going nowhere. On Christmas Day 1981, the Knicks lost to the New Jersey Nets, 96-95 at Madison Square Garden. It was their 4th loss in a row. The sportswriters asked Richardson what was happening, and he said, "The ship be sinking." He was asked, "How low can it sink?" He mixed his metaphors and said, "The sky's the limit."

At the end of the season, he was transferred off the sinking ship, traded to the Golden State Warriors. After 1 season with them, again leading the league in steals, he was traded to the Nets. At that time, tired of seeing his name misspelled as "Micheal," he legally changed the spelling to that.
On a Nets team coached by Stan Albeck, with Albert King (brother of his ex-Knick teammate Bernard), Darryl Dawkins, Otis Birdsong, Buck Williams and Mike Gminski, the Nets beat the defending NBA Champion Philadelphia 76ers in the Playoffs. It was the franchise's only Playoff series win between the 1976 ABA-NBA merger and the 2001-02 season.

It wasn't an especially good season for Richardson, because, like so many other athletes in the 1980s, he had become addicted to cocaine. In 1985, he once again led the league in steals, and was named to his 3rd All-Star Game. He was named NBA Comeback Player of the Year.

But on February 25, 1986, Richardson was banned for life by NBA Commissioner David Stern, after testing positive for cocaine for a 3rd time in 3 seasons. He was the 1st active NBA player to be banned by the league.

He was reinstated by the NBA in 1988, but decided to continue his career in Europe, and never played in the NBA again. He played for minor-league teams on Long Island and in Albany, then went to Europe, playing in the Italian, Yugoslav and French leagues.

In 2004, he retired, and was named head coach of one of his former teams, the Albany Patroons. After 3 years, he was fired, for making comments that were viewed as anti-Semitic and homophobic. But some Jewish advocates spoke up for him, and he was soon offered a new job, with the Oklahoma Cavalry in Lawton. He led them to the Championship of the Continental Basketball Association in 2008 and 2009. In 2011, he was named head coach of the London Lightning of Canada's National Basketball League, and he led them to the title in 2012 and 2013.
He left after the 2014 season, and it turned out to be his last coaching job. He returned to Lawton, worked for a financial firm, and ran youth basketball clinics with Birdsong. He was married to Kimberly, who owned a beauty salon. Their son, Amir Richardson, born in France while Micheal Ray was playing there, became a professional soccer player, currently with ACF Fiorentina in Florence, Italy. He plays for the Morocco national team, and helped them win the Bronze Medal at the 2024 Olympics in Paris.

Micheal Ray Richardson recovered from cocaine addiction, and stayed off drugs for the rest of his life. But that life was brought to an end today, November 11, 2025, in Lawton, from prostate cancer, at the age of 70.

Saturday, May 1, 2021

May 1, 1971: Spider-Man vs. Drugs

May 1, 1971, 50 years ago: Marvel Comics takes on their most insidious bad guy yet: Drugs.

Previously, the Comics Code Authority forbade the depiction of illegal drugs, even as a warning as to their dangers. But President Richard Nixon wanted to wage war on drugs -- a great idea that turned out to be spectacularly poorly carried out.

Elliot Richardson, then the U.S. Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare, wrote to Marvel boss Stan Lee, and asked him to publish an anti-drug message in one of the company's leading titles.

Lee, already 48 years old, but always willing to stay on the cutting edge, agreed. And so, with The Amazing Spider-Man #96, with a list date of May 1971, he began a 3-part story arc involving drug use.
Smilin' Stan Lee. Excelsior, true believers!

At this point in his life, Peter Parker, secretly the New York-based superhero Spider-Man, is in college, with a side job as a photographer for a newspaper, The Daily Bugle. He shares an apartment with Harry Osborn, and they've been friends for a long time, in spite of the fact that Harry's father, industrialist Norman Osborn, is Spidey's arch-enemy, the Green Goblin, and the Goblin knows Peter's dual identity.

As the 2002 film Spider-Man would eventually show, having the Goblin die would devastate Harry. On top of that, Smilin' Stan was one of the few people in American public life in the 1960s who addressed the issue of mental illness, writing that Spidey knew that Norman's split personality between Harry's dad the genius scientist businessman and the arch-criminal wasn't his fault. So he had to subdue the Goblin without really hurting him with his strength, proportionally that of a spider.

The last time before this that they had fought, Spidey had defeated the Goblin, and Norman developed retrograde amnesia: He didn't remember anything he experienced after becoming the Goblin, including Peter's secret identity.

But Norman's troubles, and his treatment of Harry, led Harry to seek solace in prescription drugs. Peter sees him taking them, and says, "When did you become a pill-popper?" When the pill makes Harry fall asleep, Peter suddenly realizes that Harry had been doing this for a while: Pills to help him sleep, and pills to help him stay awake.

So Lee wrote a monologue for Spidey, as he swung through the City, talking about how drugs could hurt people. And then he sees an example: A black kid on the edge of a roof, stoned out of his gourd. Spidey fails to save him.

That night is the premiere of an Off-Off-Broadway show, starring Peter's girlfriend, Mary Jane Watson, who says, "If it were any more off Broadway, it would be in Hoboken!" Also friends of Mary Jane, Norman and Harry attend together.

So does a black man about Peter's and Harry's age, who knew the younger guy who fell. This man knows that Norman is rich, and has influence to go with his money, and demands that he use it to help ghetto kids. They argue, and this triggers Norman's split. At the end of the issue, Peter and Norman are both in costume, and they know who each other is.

At the end of the 2nd issue, #97, Harry overdoses. At the start of the 3rd, #98, Peter is standing over Harry in his hospital bed, when the Goblin hovers on his glider at the window, ready to kill the uncostumed Peter. Peter shows the Goblin his son, and, in a moment of clarity that he is also Norman, he backs off. They fight later in the issue, Peter wins, takes an unconscious Norman home, and burns the Goblin costume, hoping that will put an end to the Goblin personality. Harry recovers. All is well. With them, anyway.

Until Peter's original girlfriend, Gwen Stacy, returns, during one of Peter's periodic breakups with Mary Jane. And Norman's Goblin personality kicks back in, and he makes a new costume and new weapons. In Spider-Man #121, June 1973, there is no title on the title page. Instead, the last panel shows the title, with Spidey holding Gwen, killed by the Goblin: "The Night Gwen Stacy Died!" In #122, the Goblin dies, in a scene recreated for the 2002 Spider-Man film.

The Comics Code Authority heard about the anti-drug story, and refused to issue its seal of approval, which had been a must for any comic book wanting to stay in business, ever since the publication of the anti-comics screed The Seduction of the Innocent by Frederic Wertham in 1954.

Lee decided that publishing these 3 issues, especially the 1st one, was more important that staying in business. He rolled the dice that people would buy The Amazing Spider-Man #96 without the seal of approval. His roll came up 7: It sold so well that the Authority revised its Code.

DC Comics, Marvel's rival, accepted that they also needed to publish an anti-drug message. So they published Green Lantern #85, with a list date of August 1971, and a headline, "The shocking truth about drugs!" #85 had the title of "Snowbirds Don't Fly," and #86, the conclusion of the story, was titled, "They Say It'll Kill Me... But They Won't Say When."
Green Lantern, in civilian life a test pilot named Hal Jordan, often teamed up with Oliver Queen, a businessman without powers but with great archery skill, who fought crime as Green Arrow. Queen had adopted a teenage boy named Roy Harper, and, giving him a red outfit similar to his own green one, made Roy "Robin" to his "Batman."

Why would a superhero with an archery theme, rather than a speedster, be called "Speedy"? With the 1940s "Golden Age" versions of the characters, Roy once got into costume and out of their hideout while Ollie was still getting his costume on.

But Roy had a secret beyond his crimefighting identity: He had become addicted to heroin. Fans of the 2012-20 CW Network TV series Arrow, which shows Oliver as a more Batman-like, haunted, brooding figure, might be surprised to know that the comics' Green Arrow was, like the 1st Robin (Dick Grayson) and Spider-Man, a quipster, dropping bons mots while taking bad guys down. This time, as Hal suggested, Ollie did not have the answer, aside from taking down the gang that had gotten Roy hooked, and getting Roy to "go cold turkey."

DC had done it well, even taking it a step further by showing a superhero getting addicted to an illegal drug, not just a prescription. But Marvel had done it first, and better. As Smilin' Stan himself would have said, "'Nuff said!"

Nixon would eventually appoint Elliot Richardson to be U.S. Attorney General, but he resigned that post in 1973, rather than fire the Special Counsel investigating the Nixon Administration over "the Watergate matter," leading to a series of moves that became known as "The Saturday Night Massacre."

In 1980, the Department of Health, Education and Welfare (HEW) was split into 2 separate departments: The Department of Education (DOE) and the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Top 10 Reasons the 1980s Were the Worst Decade of the 20th Century

I grew up in the 1980s. Too bad the Republicans who are around my age still haven't grown up. Even though people who grew up in the 1960s are now old and dealing with the consequences thereof, I still envy them.

As Bill Maher put it, "Your Kennedy was Reagan. Our Kennedy was Kennedy."

And the comparisons don't get any better:

* Our Beatles were Van Halen. Their Beatles were the Beatles.
* Our Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays were Jose Canseco and Barry Bonds. Their Mantle and Mays were Mantle and Mays.
* Our Ford Mustang was the Pontiac Trans Am -- and not the Knight Rider version, either. Their Mustang was the Mustang.
* And as dumb as he was, Maxwell Smart will always be cooler than Sam Malone. After all, Agent 86 got Barbara Feldon. Mayday got Kirstie Alley -- you know what she was like then, well, look what happened to her after.

As goofy, as ridiculous, and as depressing as the 1970s were, they were still better than the 1980s.

Compare 1970s G.I. Joe with 1980s G.I. Joe. Seventies Joe was Indiana Jones with a beard, represented by a 12-inch-tall action figure with a Kung Fu Grip. You knew he was a real American hero. Nobody had to tell you that he was. He was such an American hero, he didn't need to prove it by posing with a flag.
Eighties Joe was a bunch of guys blowing shit up, represented by 4-inch action figures. They had to advertise themselves as "a real American hero." And pose with the biggest Star-Spangled Banner they could get their hands on.
The Marines on Iwo Jima, they ain't.

The only way this photo could be more Eighties is if they were wearing neon Spandex (and I'm not sure their uniforms aren't made of Spandex), and if they had big hair (which wouldn't fit under their hats/helmets). You can almost hear the loud, horrible theme song. 

And how many guys did it take to make the Eighties Joe team? Seventies Joe was the head of "the G.I. Joe Adventure Team," in radio contact with backup, but, essentially, he was one man. He was MacGyver before Richard Dean Anderson was and Indiana Jones before Harrison Ford took that role.

*

I will put aside my usual baseball bias, and I won't say that baseball sucked in the 1980s, even though the Mets won a World Series, were better than the Yankees for a majority of the decade, and, despite actually having Major League Baseball's best record in the decade, the Yankees didn't win a World Series in it, and reached the postseason only twice, ending ignominiously both times. (They had 3 other close calls for the Playoffs.)

The Yankees aside, frankly, baseball was pretty good in the decade. So was basketball. So was hockey. And, competition-wise, the NFL might never have been better, although we are now seeing the poisoned fruit of that time: The first decade of really huge but still fast players resulting in impacts that have left not merely a few, but many players with serious brain damage, resulting in terrible impairments in their 50s.

But the Eighties sucked. They were the worst decade of the 20th Century.

Top 10 Reasons the 1980s Were the Worst Decade of the 20th Century

1. Ronald Reagan. To paraphrase Robert Young's line from 1970s TV commercials, reminding us that he starred as Marcus Welby, M.D.: Ronald Reagan wasn't a great President, but he played one on TV.
Look at what his supporters claim his accomplishments were, and look at the truth. Take it from someone who was around then, and knows (me):

* "He turned the economy around." Bullshit. He brought inflation and interest rates back to earth. But he actually wrecked the economy.

When Reagan became President on January 20, 1981, unemployment was 7.2 percent. Not good, but not terrible. It was still around that for much of the year. Then, in August, he signed his tax cut into law. By January 1982, it was 8.2 percent. By November 1982, it was 10.8 percent, the highest it's been since the Great Depression. Indeed, it didn't even get that high during the 2007-10 George W. Bush recession.

So, in early 1983, Reagan, who knew that he couldn't "save the world from Communism" if he didn't get re-elected, and couldn't get re-elected if he had an unemployment rate that approached the one Herbert Hoover ran with in 1932, did what George H.W. Bush later did in 1990, and what George W. Bush refused to do until 2008: He compromised with the Democratic leaders of Congress, and he raised taxes. That's right: Ronald Reagan raised taxes.

Result? By January 1984, the unemployment rate had dropped below 8 percent. On November 6, 1984, the day Reagan stood for re-election, the rate was 7.2 percent -- the same as it was on November 4, 1980, when he won by saying the economy was bad. But Reagan was wrong, and the Democrats were right: Raising taxes worked.

And yet, unemployment still didn't drop below the rate he inherited until November 1985, near the end of his 5th year. For as long as he was President, it never dropped below 5 percent, which is generally, if erroneously, thought of as "full employment."

Oh yeah: On October 19, 1987, the stock market crashed. The Dow Jones Industrial Average lost 22 percent of its value in one day of trading, six and a half hours.

But there was no new recession (at least, not until the savings & loan scandal of 1989 and other causes led to the 1990-93 downturn), because the Federal Reserve Board stepped in. In other words, what really saved Reagan from becoming another Herbert Hoover was... the heavy hand of the federal government.

What else did Reagan do that his supporters love to claim that he did?

* "He won the Cold War." Bullshit. The Cold War was won by Lech Walesa -- who was something that Reagan hated: The leader of a labor union. (Never mind that younger, Democratic Reagan was the President of a union, the Screen Actors Guild.)

On June 12, 1987, Reagan stood at the Brandenburg Gate -- in front of a crowd half the size of the one JFK addressed at West Berlin's City Hall in 1963 -- and said, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" On January 20, 1989, Reagan left the Presidency, and the Berlin Wall still stood.

On November 9, 1989, the East German government passed a law that rendered the Wall meaningless. And the only thing Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev had to do with it is that he... did absolutely nothing to stop it.

Meanwhile, Reagan signed a trade deal with China. Red China. Reagan strengthened the world's largest Communist country.

What else did Reagan do that his supporters love to claim that he did?

* "He stood up to terrorists." Bullshit. Reagan gave Iran weapons in exchange for money and hostages. Then he used the profits to fund the Contras in Nicaragua. We liberals correctly called them "death squads" at the time, but we can also say they were terrorists.

Then there was his veto of sanctions on the government of South Africa, whose apartheid policies were, in part, terroristic. Congress properly overrode that veto, one of the dents in Reagan's reputation for strength and beating liberals.

And then there was the fact that he sent American money and weapons to the anti-Communist rebels in Afghanistan. These were the guys who became al-Qaeda and the Taliban. Ronald Reagan made Osama bin Laden, as we came to know him, possible.

Conservatives love to talk about "the law of unintended consequences" when they want to show that "throwing money at poor people" actually hurts them; but when it turns "freedom fighters" into 9/11 hijackers, they don't want to hear it.

In other words, if someone else had been President from 1981 to 1988, the Berlin Wall would still have fallen, but the World Trade Center would not have fallen.

And I haven't even gotten to the criminal charges. Just from Iran-Contra, Reagan's Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger and 2 National Security Advisors, Bud McFarlane and John Poindexter, were convicted. Secretary of the Interior James Watt, whose paranoia about religion and drugs marked a bridge between the old John Birch Society and the current Tea Party, was convicted. His White House Chief of Staff Michael Deaver and his Press Secretary Lyn Nofziger were convicted. His Attorney General Edwin Meese resigned as part a deal to avoid prosecution.

Ronald Reagan was a disgraceful President.

I mentioned that Bill Maher had compared Reagan with John F. Kennedy. This was on the 50th Anniversary of Kennedy's assassination, November 22, 2013. He even compared the eras, in temperament and fashion as well as in politics:

Can we at least agree that Kennedy was cooler?... Our liberal hero was a smart sexy war hero who said he wanted to go to the Moon! Yours was an old fuddy-duddy who tried to rock denim. Our guy was Don Draper. Yours was Rooster Cogburn...

When they named an airport after Kennedy, flying was sexy and fun... When they named an airport after Reagan, it was purgatory with a food court...

The one reason we looked uglier in the '80's, is because we were uglier. It was when the Baby Boomers, the generation that was supposed to be different, just gave up and sold out completely. Kennedy's time was the time of "Ask not what your country can do for you." Reagan's was the time of "Greed is good."


JFK was far from perfect, but he was a true wit and a sex machine, and he knew how to wear a pair of shades. Reagan was an amiable square in a cowboy hat who had sex with a woman he called "Mommy."
Kennedy was James Bond. Reagan was Matlock. Love him or hate him, we win. Republicans can call Reagan their Kennedy all they want, but it's like calling Miller High Life "the champagne of beers." It's why calling someone your Kennedy will never really cut it, because our Kennedy... is Kennedy.
Yeah, about "Greed is good"...

2. Greed. The Reagan Revolution, a "reverse Robin Hood" movement that (to borrow Al Gore's phrase) taxed the many to enrich the few, sure inspired greed. What Michael Douglas' character Gordon Gekko said in the 1987 film Wall Street -- filmed before the crash of that October, but released after it, making it the Quiet American or the China Syndrome of the decade -- was this:

The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms: Greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the U.S.A. Thank you very much.
He's a liberal in real life.
I still hate him for marrying Catherine Zeta-Jones.

It was based on something that Ivan Boesky, the Wall Street trader who ended up caught in the decade's insider trading scandal, said in a commencement address at, of all places, the University of California's legendarily liberal main campus in Berkeley in 1986: "I think greed is healthy. You can be greedy and still feel good about yourself... Seek wealth. It's all right." He got a big cheer from those snotnosed schmucks.

Since Reagan was elected Governor of California in 1966, in no small part due to the "Free Speech Movement" at Berkeley of the preceding 2 years, and the antiwar movement that had developed on the campus at the same time, the graduates, some of them surely the kids of Sixties Berkeley grads, cheering Boesky's public lauding of greed may have been Reagan's greatest triumph, at least on a personal basis.

The film's director with Oliver Stone, before he started making period pieces full of lies and conspiracy theories. His intention was to issue a warning. But most people saw Wall Street, and took it as a how-to manual, forgtettinf that Gekko ended up in the federal pen.

The Eighties were the decade that made celebrities out of fictional rich bastards Gekko, J.R. Ewing (Larry Hagman on Dallas) and Blake Carrington (John Forsythe on Dynasty); and real ones like Boesky, "junk bond" trader Michael Milken, and an up-and-coming real estate developer named Donald Trump. As if you needed another reason to hate this evil decade.

In 1984, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, hosted by British journalist Robin Leach, began airing in syndication, further celebrating people with insane amounts of money, some of whom gained it through talent, some through luck, and some through exploitation. It ran until 1995.

The Eighties saw the rise of Young Urban Professionals, or YUPs, or Yuppies. Maher was right: The Baby Boomers decided, "Hey, idealism isn't working, so let's cut the lefty crap and start making big money." With their clothes that mimicked, but didn't actually match, the styles of the rich people they thought were classy (but really weren't).

And when you do make that money, you move out to the suburbs, to Westbury or Greenwich, Armonk or Saddle River. Screw the safe Volvos: Buy a BMW (or "Beemer"), and buy a bumper sticker that sums up your driving philosophy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do own the whole damn road."
Did you think I was joking? These things actually existed.

And when the time comes that you've got enough money to spend on kids, and you're ready to toss aside The Pill, send your little brats to the best private school in the county, rather than the suburban public school that was good enough for you.

Indeed, when the ex-Hippies became Yuppies, they crashed the economy 4 times (1981, 1990, 2001 and 2008 (UPDATE: add a 5th time, 2020)), went back to doing whatever they could to ruin the environment, and gave us MTV, "reality" TV, trash movies, "Me Too moments," a renewed "War On Drugs" that was really a war on poor nonwhite people, and another generation of a conservative South messing up our elections.

And of the people who stayed true to their ideals, it seems as though half of them gave up: They really did, in a way that LSD guru Dr. Timothy Leary didn't envision when he lectured us, "Turn on, tune in, and drop out." They stayed home when it really mattered.

As comedian George Carlin, born in 1937 so he was older than the "Baby Boomers," born between 1946 and 1964, put it:

These people were given everything. Everything was handed to them, and they took it all. Took it all. Sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. And they stayed loaded for twenty years, and had a free ride. But now, they're staring down the barrel of middle-age burn-out, and they don't like it.

They don't like it, so they've turned self-righteous, and they want to make things hard on younger people. They tell them to abstain from sex, say no to drugs. As for the rock-n-roll, they sold that for television commercials a long time ago, so they could buy pasta-machines and Stairmasters and soybean-futures.

You know something? They're cold, bloodless people. It's in their slogans. It's in their rhetoric. "No pain, no gain." "Just do it." "Life is short, play hard." "Shit happens, deal with it." "Get a life." These people went from "Do your own thing" to "Just say no." They went from "Love is all you need" to "Whoever winds up with the most toys wins." And they went from cocaine to rogaine.

And you know something? They're still counting grams, only now it's fat grams. And the worst of it is, the rest of us have to watch these commercials on TV for Levi's loose-fitting jeans, and fat-ass Docker pants, because these degenerate yuppie boomer cocksuckers couldn't keep their hands off the croissants and the Häagen-Dazs. And their big fat asses have spread all over, and they have to wear fat-ass Docker pants. Fuck these Boomers! Fuck these Yuppies! And fuck everybody, now that I think about it!

For the record: George, who discovered the hard way that "The purpose of cocaine is to run out of it," went bald, and never got a hairpiece or rogaine or any other treatment for it.

I mentioned MTV:

3. MTV. There were music videos before MTV debuted on August 1, 1981. Sometimes, they were called "promotional films." Before that, in the 1940s, they were called "soundies," and would be shown with movie theaters' newsreels or in jukeboxes containing small film projectors.

But MTV embraced Marshall McLuhan's idea that "The medium is the message." Suddenly, the visual meant more than anything else. Never mind whether the lyrics, the voices, or the playing of the instruments sounded good: Did the performance look good? (Most of the time, my answer was, "Not to me, but it sure did to a bunch of people with no taste.")

Oddly, some already-established performers -- including David Bowie, Elton John, Michael Jackson, Billy Joel and Bruce Springsteen -- didn't need videos to become famous and respected, yet ended up making great videos. Even the sappiest of disco performers didn't need videos: They just needed to go on American Bandstand, The Midnight Special, Soul Train or Dance Fever, and do their stuff.

Disco sucked, and polluted the airwaves in the Seventies, but it was better than the synthesizer-driven, wouldn't-be-on-the-radio-if-not-for-MTV crap of the Eighties. Duran Duran were crap, but teenage girls loved the way they looked, and so they became huge.
If you'd never heard of these guys, and had to guess
how they sounded, your guess might well be, 
"Like a bunch of twats." And you would be right.

If Bruce Springsteen looked like Jon Bon Jovi, he would have been as big as Elvis Presley; if Bon Jovi looked like Springsteen, we'd have never heard of him. The distance between them is a lot more than the 14 miles of U.S. Route 9 between Springsteen's Freehold and Bon Jovi's Sayreville.

Or, to put it another way: Susan Boyle is 3 years younger than Madonna. If Susan looked like Madonna, she might have become famous at the same time; but if Madonna looked like Susan, she would never have become famous.

Think about it. Doris Day had a hit record in 1942, when she was 20. Teresa Brewer had a hit record in 1950, at 19. Connie Francis had a hit record in 1958, at 19. Lesley Gore had a hit record in 1963, at 16. Ronnie Spector had also had a hit record in 1963, at 20. All of these women, at those respective times, were attractive, but they didn't need to play off that, because they had talent.

Madonna's 1st hit came in 1982, when she was 24. Why not sooner? Was it because she was not attractive enough? No, it was because MTV allowed her to overcome her comparatively lower level of singing and writing talent.
She could stare, she could dance, she could writhe.
But she couldn't sing or write a song worth a damn.
But it was the Eighties, so no one cared.

4. Synth-Pop. Even 1960s and '70s music icons got watered down. Neil Young refused to get beaten down by it. So did Bruce and Billy. Elton managed to avoid it (mostly). But Paul McCartney's descent into schmaltz was completed. Aretha Franklin recorded a lot of songs that were hardly worthy of her.

Even the biggest musical star of the decade, 1970s holdover Michael Jackson, I'm sorry, I realize that this will be blasphemy to some of you, but his best work was already behind him. Thriller (released on November 30, 1982) was not as good as Off the Wall (1979) or his early Jackson 5 material (1969-71). Not to mention that his Pepsi commercial accident (January 27, 1984) has been postulated as the reason his life went downhill.

Far be it from me to speak ill of the recently dead, but I was never a Prince fan. Even if his in-your-face sex themes weren't too much for me, then or now, I just didn't like the sound of his music. And Madonna... Never mind the sexual themes, it was her music that was obscene. So much so that it was her 1987 chart-topper "Open Your Heart" that made me give up on current music in high school, and turn my FM radio dial from 100.3, New York Top 40 station Z100, to the next station over, 101.1, oldies station CBS-FM, and allowed me to rediscover past music.

Today, nearly 30 years later, CBS-FM is playing Eighties music. It's "oldies." Excuse me while I puke.

5. Hair Metal. A bunch of guys thought they could be as good as Led Zeppelin if they played high piercing guitars, screamed their vocals, bared their chests, wore Spandex tights, and used enough AquaNet to personally kill the ozone layer. And sometimes even wore makeup. They sounded macho as hell, but the look they achieved suggested they were trying to turn on teenagers of both sexes.

Hint: Led Zep did not wear Spandex or use AquaNet. And they could actually play their instruments well.

Def Leppard. Motley Crue. Poison. Warrant. It seemed to get progressively worse and more ridiculous. This is what happens when ego and MTV combine to make the quality of the music irrelevant.

Thank God for Neil Young and his 1989 album Freedom. It didn't kill hair metal -- more often, Nirvana is given that credit -- but Neil dealt it a mortal blow. As somebody I saw online said of the lead single of that album, the mighty, anti-Republican, substantive opus "Rockin' In the Free World": "To me it was a signpost putting the death knell on a lousy decade of music IMO. End of 1989 couldn't come fast enough."

6. Hair and Clothes. Bill Maher again: "Was there ever a more garish decade than the Eighties? Neon clothing, big hair, spandex, blazers with shoulderpads... for men?" 

Don't take my word for it, or Maher's. We started out with a natural extension of the '70s, with the Magnum, P.I. look of Tom Selleck.
So far, not particularly offensive.

But then came the "wifebeater" look, which did more to damage the perception of Italian-Americans than 100 Mob movies could have done.
Yo, Sly.

Tracksuits became regular walking-around wear. This was a preferred fashion of both middle-class jerks in America and soccer hooligans in England.
The guy in the blue one reminds me of
Richard Kline as skeezy used-car salesman
Larry Dallas on Three's Company.

Then came the Yuppie look.
Shut up, Wesley. You too, Samwise.

Then came the Miami Vice look. Pastels. "No earth tones."
"Baby, you're goin' to prison for 20 years.
But if you rat out your boyfriend and suck my cock,
I'll see that you get a suspended sentence."

Maher admitted it himself: "I tried to find a good picture of myself in the Eighties. It doesn't exist!"
On Late Night with David Letterman, July 22, 1986

Women's fashion was no better. Don't wear this unless you can pull off the Joan Collins Dynasty attitude. Being as hot as she was (and she was already 48 when she started on that show) won't help you unless you can match her Alexisness. (Hint: You can't.)
"I could ask, 'Whatta you lookin' at?' like an Italian girl.
I don't have to. I know what you're looking at, darling."

It's okay to like Cyndi Lauper's music. But her clothes, oy vey.
By mid-1984, she was not so unusual.

Then came the Yup-ettes. Yes, that big thing (bigger than the shoulder pads) is the late 1980s version of a mobile phone.
The hair doesn't help.

Don't even get me started on the hair. The "A Flock of Seagulls" hairstyle recently made a comeback: Donald Trump may be the only guy still famous in the 2010s whose hair looked better in the 1980s.
Pictured: Not Donald Trump.

Seriously. Here's Hillary Clinton with her husband in 1986.
The occasion was the National Governors' Conference at the White House, and Bill was about to be elected Governor of Arkansas for the 3rd time. And, by Hillary's standards before she became First Lady, this was a good look. It had to be: It was a formal occasion.

But here's Donald Trump and his wife in 1986.
That's Ivana. Melania would have been 16 at the time.
In other words, just right for Donald.

See? Today, even though she's old, Hillary looks a lot better than she did then -- and Donald should have stuck with his '80s look. In '86, he actually looked like the man he now claims to be: A man competent enough to fix big problems, and successful enough to back up his claims. Now, he just looks like... a guy having his midlife crisis at age 70.

7. Cars. As I said in my piece "Top 10 Myths About the 1950s," when you think of 1950s cars, you think of big bastard things with tailfins -- full-figured, like actresses And Russell, Marilyn Monroe or Sophia Loren. When you think of 1960s cars, you think of sporty little numbers, the vehicular equivalent of Twiggy, the decade's top fashion model. When you think of cars in the late 1960s or the early 1970s, you think of larger vee-hicles, "muscle cars," healthy and solid, like pinups Raquel Welch and Cheryl Tiegs.

But the era of comparing cars to celebrity women was already coming to a close. In 1970, AMC (American Motors Corporation) began producing the flat-ended Gremlin. In 1971, Ford began producing the Pinto, with its built-in explodyness.

In 1972, Honda began producing the Civic. In 1974, America met the Toyota Corolla. In 1975, AMC introduced a a dinky little thing even dinkier than the Gremlin, the round-ended Pacer. In 1976, Chevrolet introduced the Chevette. You knew a TV game show was lame if the "A new car!!!!" it awarded was a Chevy Chevette.

But the cars of the 1980s were worse. Was there a more Eighties car than the IROC-Z edition of the Chevrolet Camaro?
Stick a hair metal singer wearing a Reagan campaign button in there,
and it might be the most Eighties picture ever.

Actually, there may have been: The Yuppiemobile itself, the BMW 325i.
Aside from when the Dodgers and Giants were moved,
or maybe JFK vs. Nixon, IROC vs. Beemer may have
been the original "East Coast vs. West Coast feud."

Of course, in Yuppie couples, his car was the Beemer, because male ego. Hers, since she might have had to take the rugrats somewhere, was the pinnacle of automotive safety, the Volvo.
Ford's Escort and Taurus weren't so bad. And the introduction of minivans helped. But the most fondly-remembered car of the decade is the 1981 DMC-12. That's "DeLorean Motor Corporation." And, let's face it, the DeLorean may have been the 2nd-biggest marketing bust of the decade, behind New Coke. (Unless you're one of these people who thinks New Coke was designed to make people nostalgic for Classic Coke, and thus turn away from Pepsi, for whom the Eighties were a golden decade.)

Hell, I didn't even need a caption for this one. It was provided for me. I ask you: Would anybody now think of the DeLorean as anything but laughable if it wasn't for its being turned into a time machine in Back to the Future?
Speaking of movies...

8. Movie Heroes. Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly and Christopher Lloyd as Dr. Emmett Brown in the Back to the Future films. Tom Cruise as Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell in Top Gun. Clint Eastwood as Inspector Harry Callahan in the Dirty Harry films (admittedly, a holdover from the '70s). Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones (admittedly, a character set in the 1930s). Detective John McClane in the Die Hard films.

Sylvester Stallone as both Rocky Balboa (admittedly, a holdover from the '70s) and John Rambo (though his struggle is based in the '60s, he's an '80s character). Mel Gibson as both Max Rockatansky in the Mad Max films and Sergeant Martin Riggs in the Lethal Weapon films. Chuck Norris in pretty much every movie he was in. Arnold Schwarzenegger in pretty much every movie he was in (even if his Terminator turned into a hero, or at least a protector, in the '90s). 1
"I'll be back. This shit won't."

These guys range from, at best, well-meaning bumblers (Marty and Doc, Rocky) to anti-heroes who specialize in, as I put it in my mention of 1980s G.I. Joe, blowing shit up.
"Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!"

And there was a difference: The "anti-heroes" of the '70s, guys played by Paul Newman, James Caan, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Richard Roundtree as John Shaft (just so you know it wasn't all white guys), Pam Grier as Coffy and Foxy Brown (just so you know it wasn't all guys), Jack Nicholson as Jake Gittes in Chinatown and Randle McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and Eastwood as Dirty Harry, you saw them advertised as rebels, as imperfect guys who you could still root for.

But in the '80s? It was "Let Reagan be Reagan," and "Let Harry be Dirty." Harry, Rambo, Riggs, McClane, Ahnold and the rest could blow shit up and have crazy car chases, causing all kinds of damage that really wasn't necessary; and kill indiscriminately, including guys who were mere henchmen and didn't really deserve to die.

And movie audiences loved it. It was a "Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out" idea.
He was no longer interested in whether you felt lucky.
He was giving you a direct order, punk:
"Go ahead. Make my day."

Ironically, the James Bond movies moved away from this. With Roger Moore, the gadgets and plots got sillier after his best film, The Spy Who Loved Me, in 1977: Moonraker in 1979, For Your Eyes Only was a step back toward more realistic stuff in 1981, then came Octopussy in 1983 and A View to a Kill in 1985. But then he was replaced by Timothy Dalton, and the tide was turned with The Living Daylights in 1987 and Licence to Kill in 1989.

But Bond was an anomaly. Even the Superman movies with Christopher Reeve got progressively louder, cheesier, and more destructive -- the Eighties "triple threat." And, of course, with a nod to Frank Miller's comic books, when the Tim Burton version of Batman premiered in 1989, it was obvious that Adam West's 1960s idea of the Caped Crusader -- and the Super Friends cartoon version as a takeoff on it, with Olan Soule voicing Batman and Casey Kasem voicing Robin -- was history.

The '60s were over, and no one wanted a lesson in morality. The '70s were over, and no one wanted "complicated" heroes. We wanted heroes, the kind of guys who were willing to kill motherfuckers and blow shit up for America and Jesus. We wanted the kind of guys who would have made John Wayne jump out of his coffin, raise his fist in the air, and yell, "Fuck, yeah!"

I can think of no bigger difference between '70s pop culture and '80s pop culture than these 2 quotes, from the same actor, who was also the screenwriter both times (albeit with help the 2nd time from, yes, James Cameron):

* In 1976, playing Rocky Balboa, Sylvester Stallone tells his girlfriend Adrian Pennino, played by Talia Shire, "It really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings, and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know, for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood."

And he does go the distance. And he loses only by a split decision. And he wins the rematch. In the 1970s, it was okay to say, "If, at first, you don't succeed, try, try again."

* In 1985, Sly, playing John Rambo, asked his former commanding officer, Sam Trautman, played by Richard Crenna, "Do we get to win this time?" As it turned out, the answer was, "No, but I'm gonna turn it into a Yes."

Cartoons reflected this. It wasn't just G.I. Joe that had loud, even metal music and lots of explosions. He-Man looked like a metal-inspired hero, even though he was a Superman-style sunny optimist and "boy scout." The Thundercats wouldn't have looked out of place onstage on the Monsters of Rock tour. And while they didn't look metal -- they didn't even have hair -- the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sure talked the talk, dude.

Even comedy reflected this. The days of the fun, rebellious comedy of Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Richard Pryor and Freddie Prinze were over. By the end of the '80s, the 2 leading standup comics in America were both loud, profane and misogynistic: Sam Kinison and Andrew Dice Clay.
His real name is Andrew Clay Silverstein.
He was the kind of Brooklyn Jewish (or Italian) kid
the Beastie Boys were mocking in that song,
but people accepted the joke as reality.

Comedian Artie Lange said that "political correctness" ended (or, at least, long interrupted) the comedy careers of Clay and Eddie Murphy. Kinison died in 1992 -- ironically, in a crash caused by a drunk driver after he had gotten sober himself -- and Lange added that he "died at just the right time, 'cause no one was going to tolerate what he was saying anymore, either."
I'm not so sure: Lange -- born at the same hospital I was, St. Barnabas in Livingston, New Jersey, just 2 years earlier, and raised in nearby Union in the '70s and '80s while I was being raised 25 miles away in East Brunswick, still within the New York media market -- became famous as a result of appearing on The Howard Stern Show, and Stern, the king of the politically incorrect slimeballs, got more popular than ever in the mid-1990s, more popular than Clay or Kinison ever were: He proclaimed himself the "King of All Media," and there was little doubt about it.

With all this shit going on -- bad economics, bad social policy, bad foreign policy, bad music, bad cars, bad clothes, bad hair, bad movies, bad comedy -- I'm not surprised that America's drug problem was worse than ever before:

9. Drugs. My grandparents' generation told my parents' generation, "If you do drugs, your kids will grow up to be mutants." In too many cases, they turned out to be right: They became what my hometown called "ginkers": The idiot metalheads, who never considered that all that booze would dull the pot, and dull them. Think Michael Kelso on That '70s Show, or John Bender in The Breakfast Club.

Say it the way Carlin, who knew whereof he spoke, said it on his 1972 album FM & AM: "Druuuuuuuugs!" This category sort-of ties into the last one, because the defining movie from the 1980s might well be the remake of Scarface.

What's that? You didn't know Scarface was a remake? I suppose that's part of the problem. Don't blame yourself if you didn't know. In the case of the ending, and only of the ending, the remake was an improvement:

* In 1932, Tony Camonte, an Italian-American hood played by Paul Muni (who was Jewish, not Italian) as an obvious copy of Al Capone (whose nickname was Scarface), sees his alcohol bootlegging and protection rackets collapse around him. Cornered by the cops, he takes the coward's way out: He begs them not to kill him, then makes a run for it, and is shot, dying underneath a neon sign he could once see from his apartment, inspiring him: A travel agency's ad saying, "THE WORLD IS YOURS."

* In 1983, Tony Montana, a Cuban ex-con played by Al Pacino (who is Italian, not Cuban), goes down fighting, attempting to defend his crumbling cocaine empire, before falling in front of a fountain with the same inscription.
Had he long blond hair doused with AquaNet,
and had the jacket been pastel with shoulder pads,
this might be the most '80s photo of all.

The 1980s was the decade when cocaine was turned into crack, and it became cheap for the first time. You no longer had to have gobs of money to get it. But it turned the urban crime problem from horrible to absolutely catastrophic. Huge chunks of cities became absolute no-go zones for fear of drug-induced violence. Unless you needed a fix. Then you didn't give a shit. Your chances of dying soon anyway were pretty good.
And it was a gateway to other drugs. Including heroin. By the mid-1990s, treatment programs, President Bill Clinton's crime bill, other anti-crime measures, and urban renewal would turn New York and many other cities around. But in the 1980s, it was not easy to take a walk anywhere in a city and not see at least one dirty needle.

Which is a segue into my last reason:

10. AIDS -- and How Mainstream America Reacted To It. At first, the disease first clinically recorded in 1981 was called "The 4H Disease" -- not because of anything to do with the agricultural organization 4-H, but because it seemed to be affecting homosexuals, heroin users, hemophiliacs and Haitians.

But the media began calling it "GRID": Gay-Related Immune Deficiency. By September 1982, when the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) publicly released the name "AIDS," for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (the virus causing it was later named "HIV" for Human Immunodeficiency Virus), it was already in the public consciousness as "gay cancer."

As if hateful people needed another reason to be bigoted toward gay men. (It didn't seem to affect lesbians at the time.) The jokes were cruel: "What do you call a gay in a wheelchair? 'Rolaids!'" Ministers such as Pat Robertson called AIDS "God's judgement on homosexuals."

Meanwhile, there were people trying to raise awareness of the disease, and raise money to fight it. The sufferers seemed prematurely aged, their hair going gray or falling out entirely. Since AIDS seemed to particularly allow lung disease, pneumonia and breathing difficulty was common, making the victims much weaker than they should have been. Activists were saying things like, "I'm tired of seeing 30-year-old men with canes!"

On July 25, 1985, actor Rock Hudson announced that he had AIDS. He died the following October 2. His image as a great actor and a great-looking guy was shattered: Now, he was just another gay man who got AIDS and died. (To this day, there are people who knew him who say they didn't know he was gay, and others who say they did, but kept his secret. But both groups agree that he was a terrific guy.) When Liberace died from the disease on February 4, 1987, the reaction was not one of surprise: His being gay was one of the worst-kept secrets in show business.

"Flamboyant." What's the homophobia
equivalent of a "dog whistle"?

Once, gay men were laughed at, or, worse, viewed as moral degenerates. The gay rights movement that went from dormant to open after the Stonewall Riot of 1969, and expanded in the 1970s, suffered a major blow from "the AIDS crisis": Now, gay men, or anyone suspected of having AIDS, even incorrectly, were treated as pariahs, because people thought these people were spreading the disease. Most people weren't willing to accept, or simply didn't understand, that it was not a disease you could get unless you received tainted blood or tainted sexual contact.

Three people changed the perception of the disease. In 1985, a 13-year-old boy named Ryan White, who contracted the disease through a blood transfusion necessary due to his hemophilia, was denied the right to be readmitted to his Indiana public school after it was revealed that he had AIDS.

In 1988, he spoke before the President's Commission on the HIV Epidemic. Infamously, Reagan never even mentioned AIDS in public until the previous year, even though Hudson had been a Hollywood friend of his and Nancy's. Ryan died on April 8, 1990, only 18 years old.
In its November 1990 issue, Life magazine published a photo by Therese Frare of David Kirby, a gay rights activist in Ohio, shortly before his death on the preceding May 5, at age 32, surrounded by his grieving family. It became known as "the photo that changed the face of AIDS."
And then, on November 7, 1991, basketball superstar Earvin "Magic" Johnson announced he was retiring due to having contracted HIV. The argument that AIDS was "a gay disease" was shattered: Everyone knew Magic was straight. The only people who were saying, "Well, he has AIDS, so he must be a (slur word)" were just being ignorant. (He didn't have AIDS, either: He had HIV, which is nearly always a precursor to AIDS.)
I've said in the predecessor posts that what we perceive as these "decades" don't begin on January 1, (year ending in zero) and end on December 31, (year ending in nine). "The Eighties," effectively, began with Reagan's election on November 4, 1980, as things in 1980 like the Iran Hostage Crisis and the Olympic hockey win over the Soviets were, culturally, more 1970s events.

Since the Persian Gulf War of 1990-91 hit so many of the Eighties "buttons" (noise, explosions, nationalism, killing nonwhite people), I say "The Eighties" didn't really end, and "The Nineties" didn't really begin, until November 7, 1991, when Magic made his announcement. Within days, Governor Clinton announced his campaign for President, and people began to realize that the Persian Gulf War hadn't ended the recession.

Magic would make comebacks for the 1992 NBA All-Star Game, the 1992 Olympics, and again briefly in the 1996 season. Someone wrote during the Olympics, during the fuss over the U.S. "Dream Team," that, "The world was reaching out to touch a man who is HIV-positive."

The day after the announcement, Magic appeared on The Arsenio Hall Show, and Arsenio told him that the disease was going to be beaten, "because we want you to live forever." Shortly thereafter, Magic appeared as member of the court of an Egyptian pharaoh played by Eddie Murphy, in the video for Michael Jackson's song "Remember the Time." It was a ridiculous video, but, hey, you only live once, right? Arsenio said, "I hope Magic lives a long time, so that, years from now, we can say, 'Hey, Magic: Remember the time?'"

In late 1999, Rick Reilly wrote in Sports Illustrated, "Joe DiMaggio is dead. Wilt Chamberlain is dead. Walter Payton is dead. Payne Stewart is dead. And Magic Johnson is alive." That year, DiMaggio had died at age 84 from lung cancer. Understandable. Chamberlain had died at 63. A shock, but most people didn't know he'd had heart trouble for some time. Payton had died at 45. Sad, but he had publicly mentioned that he had a devastating liver ailment, so it wasn't a surprise. Stewart had died at 42 in a plane crash. Shocking, but plane crashes do happen. It wasn't hard to understand.

But it had been 7 years since Magic's announcement of a disease that, at the time, had been publicly understood to be a death sentence. And yet, advancements had made it possible for him to still be alive.

In 2009, Michael Jackson died. In 2016, Magic Johnson is still alive. Indeed, the joke was that he was the only man who had HIV and gained weight.
Magic Johnson, now the owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers,
at Dodger Stadium this past April 15. He is now 57 years old,
and says he feels great. I have no reason to doubt this.

Ryan White's battle was in the latter half of the 1980s, and showed that an innocent child could suffer from AIDS. David Kirby's photo was in 1990, and showed that AIDS victims were human beings, many with families who hadn't abandoned them or ostracized them. Magic Johnson's announcement was in 1991, and showed that a promiscuously heterosexual man could get AIDS -- from a woman. This was all either late in the 1980s or immediately after.

Eventually, people began to see that women were also suffering from AIDS -- and not secondhand, as the relatives, wives or girlfriends of men with the disease, but firsthand. In the 1995 film Boys On the Side, Mary-Louise Parker played an AIDS victim, saying that it wasn't fair that you could die as a result of making love.

And it was true: Most sexually-transmitted diseases, such as gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes and syphilis, while nasty, can be treated, even (in most cases) cured, and you won't die. Before the age of AZT and "triple cocktails," AIDS meant you were going to die, and it was going to be soon enough that you weren't going to be able to do all the things you wanted to do, but it was going to be long enough to be horribly painful and miserable. And it could happen if you "did it" just one time.

So don't preach to me about God and how "Jesus loves you" and then call AIDS "God's judgment." Nothing that any of these people did made them deserve it. Look at all the horrible people from 1980 onward who died from something other than AIDS. Osama bin Laden. Slobodan Milosevic. Saddam Hussein. The Ayatollah Khomeini. Timothy McVeigh.

Vladimir Putin, notoriously anti-gay dictator, is still alive. And so is Pat Robertson, at age 86.

Magic Johnson, you have given the world so much, through your athletic performances, through your businesses (he really is what the rich claim to be, a "job creator"), and your charity. You owe the world nothing more. But I do ask one more thing of you: Outlive Pat Robertson. (UPDATE: He did, as Robertson died in 2023.)

John Cardinal O'Connor, the Archbishop of New York from 1984 until his death in 2000, was a cultural conservative who preached against the gay lifestyle, and the condom distribution that has gone a long way toward preventing the further spread of HIV. But he practiced what he preached: He ordered the Archdiocese to open the 1st AIDS-specializing clinic in the State of New York. He viewed himself as a moral crusader, but he also saw ministering to the sick and the dying as part of that moral crusade. He saw all people as sinners, and also as human beings.

If more conservatives were like John O'Connor than like Pat Robertson, the world would be a better place.

That could have made the 1980s a better decade -- instead of the worst decade of the 20th Century.

You think the 1910s were worse, because of racism, World War I, and the Spanish Flu Epidemic? You think the 1930s were worse, because of racism, the Great Depression, and fascism? You think the 1940s were worse, because of racism, World War II and the Red Scare? If so, you have good points to make on those scores.

But by the 1980s, having already been through those decades, and the reforms of the 1960s and the 1970s, we should have known better.

In the 1980s, many people still didn't know better. Worse, many others did, but chose to ignore what they had come to know, because selfishness. The Eighties, not the Seventies, were "The Me Decade."

Today, there are people who would like to go back to that decade. The decade of all the things I mentioned in this post. And the attempts to assassinate Reagan and Pope John Paul II, and the successful ones on Anwar Sadat and Olof Palme.

And the 1981 baseball strike. And the Beirut barracks bombing. And the Ethiopian famine (which did, however, inspire Band Aid and Live Aid). And the hijackings of TWA Flight 847 and the MS Achille Lauro, and the destruction of Pan Am Flight 103. And the explosion of the Space Shuttle Challenger. (To be fair, Reagan's speech about the tragedy that night was his finest hour.)

And the Howard Beach murder. And the televangelism scandals. And the Hillsborough Disaster that killed 96 people in a stadium in Sheffield, and the Loma Prieta Earthquake that killed 63 people in the Bay Area (but, incredibly, no one in the stadium in San Francisco). And the Tienanmen Square Massacre. (UPDATE: In 2021, a coroner ruled that a man's death was caused by the long-term effects of his injuries in the Hillsborough Disaster, raising the toll to 97.)

You can take your good sports memories, your good entertainment memories, the rise of personal computers and portable phones, the perceived improvement in American feeling, and the end of the Cold War at the end of the decade, and add it all up, and put it all on the scale -- and it still doesn't outweigh the combination of all the evil things and all the things that, while not intentionally evil, were still crap.

I stand by what I said: The 1980s were the worst decade of the 20th Century.

In 2009, Time magazine called the 2000s "The Decade from Hell." So far, the 2010s aren't a whole lot better. But they still have time to redeem themselves, especially if Hillary beats Trump.

There is no redemption for the Egregious Eighties.

UPDATE: Hillary did not beat Trump. Or... did she?

On July 18, 2019, David Wong of Cracked wrote an article about how the Eighties sucked, from the perspective of someone who, unlike me, didn't live in a suburb. It was even worse for him.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Top 10 Myths About the 1970s

I previously did posts like this, in which I debunked some myths about the 1950s and the 1960s. It's time to do it for the 1970s.

The Baby Boomers, born from 1946 to 1964, but mostly in the late 1940s and early 1950s, have driven American pop culture from the 1960s onward. They moved the nostalgia waves for the Fabulous Fifties and the Sensational Sixties. The Seventies -- whether Silly or Sickening -- were never going to match up, because the kids who were teenagers then were vastly outnumbered by their big brothers and sisters.

Still, the 1970s have their own myths that need to be dispelled.

UPDATE: It took me until 2024 to think of this, but...

The 1970s were Schrödinger's Decade. There was too much Republican competence, too much oil, too much crimefighting, too much television, too much overwrought music, disco and otherwise; and, overall, too many ridiculous distractions from it all... and, at the same time, not enough of those things.

1. The Beginning of "The '70s" was the end of "The '60s," and the End of the Dream. On March 6, 1970, Sixties student activism blew up -- literally, as 2 members of the Weather Underground didn't exactly follow the directions in building a bomb in their apartment.

On April 10, 34 days later, Paul McCartney announced that the Beatles had broken up. The Supremes had already done so. Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel were about to do so.

On April 30, just 20 days after the Beatles' breakup was announced, President Richard Nixon, who had run on, among other things, a promise to end the war in Vietnam, announced what became known as the Cambodian Incursion, expanding the war (and, as it turned out, dooming Cambodia to what became known as the Killing Fields).

Four days after that, on May 4, 1970, a date which lives in infamy, the Ohio National Guard fired on demonstrators at Kent State University near Cleveland, wounding 13, 4 of whom died.
Tin solders and Nixon's comin'. We're finally on our own.
This summer, I hear the drummin': Four dead in Ohio.
-- David Crosby, Stephen Stills, Graham Nash & Neil Young

Four days after that, on May 8, the very day that the New York Knicks finally won their 1st NBA Championship (and 2 days before Bobby Orr scored his "Flying Goal" to win the Stanley Cup for the Boston Bruins), there was a "Hard Hat Demonstration" in New York: Conservative construction workers marching through the streets, holding up signs supporting Nixon and the war. It was a backlash against the antiwar activists, the hippies, the liberals, the civil-rights activists.
"Impeach the Red Mayor." Apparently, somebody
was stupid enough to believe that Mayor John Lindsay,
a very rich Republican, was a Communist.

People were now more interested in accepting the establishment than in mocking it: NBC's Laugh-In lost its steam, and CBS had already canceled The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour the year before.

On August 1, 1970, R. Dean Taylor released his hit single "Indiana Wants Me," which ends with the narrator surrounded by the police, tapping into the now-pervasive "The Sixties are over, and now, The Man is coming for us" vibe.

On September 18, 1970, Jimi Hendrix died from a combination of alcohol and barbiturates. When asked for a reaction, Janis Joplin said, "There but for the grace of God go I." Just 16 days later, on October 4, she fulfilled her self-fulfilling prophecy, dying from the same thing.

When Jimi died, Jim Morrison of The Doors started asking, "Do you believe in omens?" When Janis died, he told people, "You're drinking with number three." On July 3, 1971, he fulfilled his self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just 30 days after Janis died, on November 3, George Wallace was returned to the Governor's office by the voters of Alabama, and Ronald Reagan was re-elected Governor of California. The idea that Wallace, who had run a 3rd-party campaign for President in 1968, could actually get elected President in 1972 was now in the backs of people's minds. The idea that Reagan could become President someday was still a national joke. But both thus became legitimate possibilities: Neither Governor was a 1st-term fluke any longer.

The Spring of 1970 was the Winter of Discontent for "Sixties People." By the middle of Autumn, it seemed as though the dream was over. It was dead. It was murdered. Or perhaps its fatal wound was self-inflicted. And the "doctors" who could have saved its life, the activists themselves, were growing too weary to try. As James Earl Jones' character Terence Mann said in Field of Dreams, "I gave at the office." Peace, love and civil rights were out; international strife, domestic angst and social stagnation were in.

So the beginning of the Seventies was the end of the Sixties dream, right?

Except that it didn't work out that way. How can I say that?

Let's start with Woodstock, August 15 to 18, 1969, the perceived culmination of the Sixties. You know how many people have said they were there? Millions. You know how many were actually there? Well, nobody knows for sure. Depending on whose figures you believe, it was anywhere from 300,000 (the figure The New York Times cited the next week) to 850,000 (a figure that Richie Havens, who opened the festival, cited on The Oprah Winfrey Show 20 years later -- and that may have reflected the total number of people that had gone through the grounds on the weekend, if not the highest number of people that were there at any one time).

Rolling Stone magazine put the number 450,000 on its next cover. (If you want to go looking for it, let me warn you: That cover is, retroactively, very cringey.) Writing in Rock of Ages: The Rolling Stone History of Rock & Roll in 1985, Geoffrey Stokes said it was 400,000. The figure of 500,000 is generally accepted because of the subsequent song by Crosby, Stills & Nash, who were there: "By the time we got to Woodstock, we were half a million strong." (You know who actually wrote that song? Joni Mitchell -- and she wasn't there.)

Regardless, the population of Buffalo, the 2nd-largest city in the State of New York, was listed in the 1970 Census as 462,000. So Max Yasgur's dairy farm in Bethel, where the Woodstock Festival was held, may have been "the second-largest city in New York State."

Woodstock the film was released on March 26, 1970. It was a safe way to "live the dream," and that's how most people viewed the festival, without having to deal with the traffic, the rain, the mud, and the insufficient food, sanitary and medical provisions. The people who saw the movie sure didn't act like the dream was over.

The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour filled CBS' Smos-Bros void. Dick Cavett continued to have "Sixties" figures on his show. He had John Lennon and Yoko Ono as guests on September 11, 1971. Mike Douglas had John and Yoko as guest-hosts with him for an entire week, February 7 to 11, 1972. Even Johnny Carson had "Sixties" performers on The Tonight Show.
Mike Douglas, Yoko and John

But it was more than that. What did liberals want in the Sixties? Guess what: Although it didn't seem like those things would ever come, they had gotten most of it by the halfway mark of the Seventies:

* An end to the Vietnam War. Nixon made the announcement on January 23, 1973. Though he waited until after he got re-elected, and even re-inaugurated, to do it, so he doesn't get credit for it from me.

* Gains for minorities. For blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans, and especially women and gays, the Seventies were their "Sixties."

* More attention paid to the environment. Rachel Carson published Silent Spring in 1962, and was praised for it by President John F. Kennedy. Claudia "Lady Bird" Johnson, wife of President Lyndon B. Johnson, was a big advocate for highway beautification and wildflowers. To paraphrase Neil Armstrong, That's one small step for a woman, one nice stride for mankind.

But not until 1970 did we get the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Not until 1971 and Marvin Gaye's "Mercy Mercy Me" did we get a hit song about the ecology, long after it became cool to have hit songs about racial equality, the cost of war, and even the dangers of drugs.

* Nixon gone. It took until August 9, 1974, and the catalyst was the Watergate break-in, a catalyst as stupid as the parking ticket that led to David Berkowitz' arrest as the Son of Sam/.44 Caliber Killer, but it happened: We didn't have Nixon to kick around anymore.
And stay out, ya crook!

* More liberal movies and TV shows. Sure, the Sixties had Laugh-In and The Smothers Brothers on the small screen, and Easy Rider on the big screen. But... well, I'll get to that in my next point.

The point is, so much was made of what was lost in the late Sixties and the early Seventies that, sometimes, people forgot just how much they had gained.

2. The Seventies Were a Cultural Wasteland. It's easy to say that it was all over in terms of music. But, guess what?

* The Beatles broke up, but all 4 former Beatles kept it going. True, by 1975, Paul McCartney was the only one still churning out regular hits, and most of them were, as John Lennon put it, "silly love songs." And, as Paul pointed out, "Some people want to build world out of silly love songs, and what's wrong with that?" But John's Plastic Ono Band, Paul's Band On the Run and George Harrison's All Things Must Pass were great albums, and Ringo Starr had a bunch of good singles.

* Bob Dylan didn't turn out another Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, Highway 61 Revisited or Blonde On Blonde, but, had just about anyone else churned out what he churned out in the Seventies -- including Blood On the Tracks and the simple yet incredible single "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" -- we'd have called that someone else a genius.

* Simon & Garfunkel may have broken up, but they left us with Bridge Over Troubled Water, and Paul did some fantastic work in the decade.

* The founding age of Motown was the Sixties, but the Seventies were its true Golden Age. Berry Gordy finally let Marvin Gaye do a What's Going On -- and he also did Let's Get It On. He finally let Stevie Wonder do a "Higher Ground," and he put together some of the most spectacular albums of the decade. The Temptations did "Ball of Confusion" and "Papa Was a Rollin' Stone." Edwin Starr did "War."

* The Rolling Stones, The Who and Led Zeppelin broke out of the Beatles' shadow.

* The aforementioned Joni Mitchell, Elton John, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen and Carly Simon debuted early in the decade. Neil Diamond, James Taylor (Simon's husband for a few years), Harry Chapin and Gordon Lightfoot, all of whom started in the late Sixties, found their voices.

* David Bowie went from a cult figure to a pop-culture phenomenon. Lou Reed went solo from the Velvet Underground and did his best work, including Transformer, an album produced by Bowie. Glam rock was born.

Then there was television. CBS debuted The Mary Tyler Moore Show (which was revolutionary in that it featured as its central character a 30-year-old woman who had never been married, but was dating and then some) in 1970, All In the Family in 1971, M*A*S*H and Maude in 1972, and Good Times in 1974.

The other 2 major networks were a little behind the curve (ABC debuting The Mod Squad in 1968 was an exception), but CBS was innovative enough for all 3. ABC's sitcom version of Neil Simon's play The Odd Couple stepped into the void to satirize swinging city life, making it much more relevant than the play and the movie that preceded it.

Cop shows became more realistic as well. Someone watching Dragnet in the Fifties or Naked City in the Sixties (the title was the only thing naked on it) would get the impression that cases could be tied up in half an hour. But Seventies shows like Adam-12, Kojak, Barnaby Jones, Cannon, Police Woman and CHiPs showed that it wasn't so easy, even in a full hour. Barney Miller and, in a very different way, The Dukes of Hazzard satirized police work.

Actually, Barney Miller did for cops what M*A*S*H did for soldiers: They showed what life in those institutions was really like, and were praised for their realism as well as for their silliness.

Medical shows also showed how much harder it could be, including Marcus Welby, M.D., Medical Center and Emergency! Quincy, M.E. tied the police and medical genres together: Although it showed less blood than M*A*S*H, and no actual (or simulated) dead bodies, it showed a coroner and his allies, both in his department and in the Los Angeles Police Department, using their minds far more than their guns, and struggling -- with the facts, with the system, and with each other -- until they finally solved the mystery.

Having Jack Klugman play a thinking man's crimefighter was a stroke of genius, and proved that he could be more than the sloppy sportswriter Oscar Madison on The Odd Couple, a great Seventies comedy.

3. The Prevalence of Drugs. A few years back, Soul Asylum had a song titled "Summer of Drugs":

We were too young to be hippies.
Missed out on the love.
Turned to a teen in the late 70's
in the summer of drugs.


And, from the 1990s onward, every TV show and movie set in the Seventies has seemed to suggest that drugs, or at least marijuana, were all over the place at the time: Dazed and Confused, That '70s Show, Summer of Sam, 54.

Saturday Night Live hit the airwaves on October 11, 1975, and the legend is that every one of "The Not Ready for Prime Time Players" was either high on marijuana or out of their minds on cocaine. Sadly, this was close enough to the truth to lead to the death of John Belushi. And, let's face it, today, Bill Murray looks like hell, and Chevy Chase turned out to be a rotten person.

But while drug use was on the rise in places where it already existed, such as the inner city and the entertainment industry, statistics show that it didn't spike everywhere. Yes, marijuana use greatly increased, but cocaine, heroin and other drugs did not do so at nearly the same rate.

And the TV shows of the Seventies showed a greater sensitivity to those who were the targets of the drug pushers, showing the pressures that young people, both in and out of the inner city, faced. It helped TV do some of its best work.

So, TV was better in the Seventies, right? As Lee Corso, then coaching at Florida State, would say, "Not so fast, my friend!"

4. Television Was Better Back Then. Yes, there were great shows. There were also massive turkeys:

* The Brady Bunch, 1969-74. I probably shouldn't include this ABC sitcom, because it did debut in the Sixties. But the style (especially the clothes and the hair) is so, so Seventies that I have to include it. I know that there are millions of people who love this show, but it was a piece of crap even by the standards of its own time. And that was before Cousin Oliver. And before The Brady Bunch Hour, the "Bradys do a variety show" show that polluted late 1976 and early 1977 for 9 unctuous episodes.

* Me and the Chimp, 1972, a CBS sitcom involving a former "space monkey." (Chimpanzees don't have tails, so, while they are apes, they not monkeys.) Unlike such other Garry Marshall productions as The Odd Couple and Happy Days, this was no King Kong in either quality or ratings. It lasted 13 episodes.

* Holmes & Yoyo, 1976, an ABC cop sitcom in which one of the police partners was a robot. It was told to turn in its badge after 13 episodes, one of which had the robot detective spend much of his dialogue on his desire to become fully masculine, if you know what I mean.

* Donny & Marie, 1976-79, an ABC variety show featuring siblings Marie Osmond ("I'm a little bit country") and Donny Osmond ("I'm a little bit rock and roll"). It was fairly typical of variety shows, doing skits about current topics, including parodying current TV shows and movies, and showing the leads trying (and usually failing) to be hip. And, as bad '70s fashion goes, it wasn't so bad, although Donny will never live down his purple socks. But the kissing... Anyone not old enough to remember this show owes Angelina Jolie and her brother James Haven an apology.

* The McLean Stevenson Show, 1976-77. Stevenson left M*A*S*H because he wanted to be the top banana on a sitcom. This one turned out to be rotten fruit. He played a hardware store owner in the Chicago suburbs, living with his wife, 2 grown children, his divorced daughter's 2 kids, and his mother-in-law. Despite Let's Make a Deal host Monty Hall being executive producer, it only lasted 12 episodes, 10 of them aired.

* The Gong Show, 1976-80, an NBC game show that was essentially a talent competition. Murray Langston, a.k.a. The Unknown Comic, wasn't the only guy on that show who should have worn a bag over his head: Everybody should have, starting with host-producer Chuck Barris. The funniest thing about it was the way it was mocked on Match Game.

* Carter Country, 1977-79, an ABC sitcom set in a rural part of Georgia, meant to capitalize on President Carter. It was centered on a small-town police department, and it emphasized the worst stereotypes of Southerners, both the white ones and the black ones. It benefited no one, least of all the man in the White House. (Then again, That's My Bush! was no better, whether you liked George W. or not.)

* All That Glitters, 1977, a syndicated sitcom created by Norman Lear in which gender roles were fully reversed -- including the present-day characters accepting the mythology of God being female and having created Eve first. It was supposed to be satire, yet it harped on the worst stereotypes of each gender, and was expelled from the Garden of Eden after just 13 episodes.

* In the Beginning, 1978. McLean Stevenson tried again, but, this time, he was the second banana. He played a conservative priest, a foil to the show's star, Broadway star Priscilla Lopez as a liberal nun, running a ghetto mission in Baltimore. Stevenson was a panelist on Match Game for a week, as CBS liked to allow its stars to appear there and cross-promote their shows. It was 5 appearances -- and that's exactly how many episodes of In the Beginning aired, out of the 9 that were actually taped, before CBS excommunicated it.

* Hee Haw Honeys, 1979 a spinoff of the popular country-themed variety show Hee Haw, based on the "Lulu's Truck Stop" sketch. Instead of emphasizing the best parts of Hee Haw, it modified the worst ones. It could have killed the career of its star, Kathie Lee Johnson. Somehow, she bounced back, met Regis Philbin, and married Frank Gifford, and the rest is history.

* Struck By Lightning, 1979, CBS' sitcom about Dr. Frankenstein's monster, played by Jack Elam (who didn't really have to wear makeup to play the part) coercing the mad scientist's descendant into keeping him alive at age 229. Well, 230: He lies about his age. Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful" was used as the theme song. CBS made 11 episodes, but brought out the pitchforks and torches after 8.

* Hello, Larry, 1979-80, NBC's sitcom for a post-M*A*S*H McLean Stevenson, about a divorced radio talk-show host with 2 live-in daughters. The show was so bad (How bad was it?), its biggest laughs came later when Johnny Carson joked about how the awful show was in his monologue. Incredibly, the Peacock Network stuck with it for a 2nd season, but not a 3rd: 38 episodes.

* Delta House, 1979, ABC's authorized spinoff of the recent early 1960s-set college fraternity film Animal House. It flunked out after 13 episodes.

* Brothers and Sisters, 1979, NBC's attempt at capitalizing on the success of Animal House. It lasted 12 episodes.

* Co-Ed Fever, 1979, CBS' attempt at Animal House. This one was so bad (How bad was it?), they canceled it after 1 episode. That's right: One solitary horrible episode.

* Makin' It, 1979, ABC's attempt at capitalizing on the disco craze, especially Saturday Night Fever. By the time the show debuted on February 1, 1979, disco had already begun to wane, if not yet "die," because people were already beginning to figure out that it sucked. (More on that in #5.) Setting the show not in New York City but in neighboring Passaic, New Jersey didn't help. (The best thing I can say about Passaic is that it's the birthplace of both my sister and Loretta Swit of M*A*S*H.)

* Supertrain, 1979, NBC's truly ridiculous attempt to rip off ABC's The Love Boat. It was the most expensive TV series ever produced in America up to that point. It ran 9 episodes before NBC canceled the train. Let's face it: 1979 was not a good year to air a TV show that was a ripoff of something else.

Speaking of The Love Boat (1977-86): Believe it or not, Charo was only on 10 episodes.

Stevenson may have been the patron saint of 1970s TV: He knew he was part of a great ensemble show, but he wanted more. He wanted to be the star. But he was never made to be a top banana: He failed again with Condo on ABC in 1983, playing a straitlaced, well-meaning but oblivious country-clubber (not unlike Henry Blake) whose son marries the daughter of his lively Mexican-immigrant condo next-door neighbor (played by Luis Ávalos of The Electric Company). It was evicted after 13 episodes.

To recap: Stevenson on M*A*S*H, 72 episodes; 4 sitcoms thereafter, 72 episodes. He later realized, "I made the mistake of believing that people were enamored of McLean Stevenson, when the person they were enamored of was Henry Blake."
Abyssinia, Henry.

5. Disco Sucked. The truth about this myth is, well, a lot of it did. But some of it sounds pretty good in comparison to what we have now.

One major advantage that disco had was that it was inclusive. It was open to men and women, whites and blacks, Anglos and Latinos, straights and gays. All you had to do was be able to fool someone into thinking you were good-looking and able to dance. And, with all the booze and cocaine flying around in the discos, that wasn't that hard.
John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever,
which premiered December 14, 1977

And at least going out to discos meant that you had to dress up. Unless you were going to a gay disco, in which case you would wear hardly anything. Not that I would know...

UPDATE: It took me until 2026 to think of this: The reasons that record companies and the media, dominated by white people, promoted disco, in spite of its inclusiveness, was not only that it made them a lot of money, but also that it was a distraction.

If white kids listened to disco, which was all about fun, and not at all about things they had to think about, then they wouldn't listen to punk (mostly white, like The Ramones or The Clash) or funk (mostly black, like George Clinton's "P-Funk Empire"), both of which tended to asked uncomfortable questions -- and also tended to provide interesting answers, answers that the record companies and the media didn't want kids of any race to hear.

Which means we now have to move on.

6. Punk Rock. We look back at the fashions of the 1970s -- the hair (regular and facial), the clothes, the shoes (platform and otherwise), and we laugh. Nobody laughed at the fashion of punk, though. It scared people. Especially the British variety of punk and its fashion.

But there's a reason that John Lydon, a.k.a. Johnny Rotten, named his 2nd band Public Image Limited: Because the image of his 1st band, the Sex Pistols, was far from reality.

Punk rock was invented in New York. Not in London, or in any other British city: New York City. And the first punk rockers didn't look anything like the traditional British punks that followed them. New York's The Ramones, The Dictators, and The Patti Smith Group (though Patti herself is from Chicago); San Francisco's the Dead Kennedys, Los Angeles' X... None of these bands' members looked like the British punks.
The Ramones: Dee Dee, Tommy, Joey and Johnny.
This is a rare photo of them smiling. (Except for Tommy.)
They must have gotten one of their wishes and sniffed some glue.

And while the Dead Kennedys were political in nature, and The Ramones recorded a song titled "Rocket to Russia," American punk really wasn't political. Sure, it began in the wake of Vietnam and Watergate, but it didn't have the political undertones of British punk, with the Sex Pistols' "God Save the Queen" and its refrain "There's no future in England's dreaming," and The Clash's "London Calling," among others.

It was Richard Hell, lead singer of Television, who pioneered the spiked-hair, torn-shirt, safety-pin look that would be appropriated by the Sex Pistols and many of the British bands that followed them.

The Sex Pistols lineup that everybody remembers wasn't even the one that made the group's one and only album, Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols. Johnny Rotten sang lead, Steve Jones played guitar, Paul Cook played drums, and the bass guitarist was... Glen Matlock. All were good. The band's 2 best-known songs, "Anarchy in the U.K." and "God Save the Queen," were both recorded by this lineup, and Matlock had a hand in writing them.

On February 15, 1977, Matlock quit the band because he was "sick of the bullshit." Or he was fired, because "he liked the Beatles." Knowing what happened to the group afterward, I believe Matlock's version.

He was replaced by John Simon Ritchie, a.k.a. Sid Vicious, who had next to no talent, but attitude to spare. He was responsible for a lot of the Pistols' image, but for nearly none of its product -- which, you would think, would be the exact opposite of the punk ethos: The message matters, the image doesn't. Indeed, of the 12 songs on the group's one and only album, 10 were credited to "Cook/Jones/Matlock/Rotten." (Note the alphabetical order.) Only 2, "Holidays In the Sun" and "Bodies," were credited to "Cook/Jones/Rotten/Vicious."

Lydon/Rotten, Jones, Cook and Matlock are all still alive at this writing. Ritchie/Vicious, of course, is not: First he killed his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen, at the Chelsea Hotel in New York (where Leonard Cohen, an unwitting forefather of punk, lived); then, while awaiting trial, died of a heroin overdose. He was 21.
The Sex Pistols: Sid Vicious, Steve Jones, Paul Cook and Johnny Rotten.
"No future for you" -- recorded 19 years before "No soup for you"

In the end, while the Pistols became the symbol of punk, just as the Bee Gees (who started as a British folk-rock group) became the symbol of disco, they weren't even close to being the best of those bands. Most observers would have said The Clash were the best. (Their fans liked to call them "the only band that matters.")

Its also worth nothing that most punk bands, even the British ones, didn't follow the Pistols' example. It's like assuming that all 1950s rockers had pompadours like Elvis Presley, all mid-1960s British rockers had long straight hair and black suits like the Ed Sullivan-era Beatles, all late-1960s rock acts had long, hippie-length hair, all black disco acts had giant Afros, and all white disco acts wore long hair and white suits. And, by the way, not all 1980s metal musicians were blond.

Like every other form of rock and roll, punk wasn't about the clothes or the hair, anyway. Tommy Ramone said it best:

In its initial form, a lot of (1960s) stuff was innovative and exciting. Unfortunately, what happens is that people who could not hold a candle to the likes of (Jimi) Hendrix started noodling away. Soon you had endless solos that went nowhere. By 1973, I knew that what was needed was some pure, stripped down, no bullshit rock 'n' roll.

In other words, it wasn't bad government, or a bad economy, but bad music that they were rebelling against.

Which led to not just punk, but Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band, and Billy Joel's better stuff, and then The Police. Bruce, Billy and Sting peaked in the Eighties, but had their 1st hits in the Seventies. They took a different route than punk, but were headed in the same direction, and arrived at a better destination. In other words, their bands not only lived, but remained friends.

7. The Mets Were More Popular Than the Yankees. For much of the decade, this was actually true -- but misleading.

In my piece about Sixties myths, I pointed out that the Mets' early success at the box office was based on the fact that they'd brought together the fans of the teams that moved from New York City to California after the 1957 season: The New York Giants and the Brooklyn Dodgers. Their fans weren't really rooting for the Mets as a team, but as a concept, as an extension of the New York National League ideal that they'd hung onto.

Finally, in 1969, it became clear that the Yankees' attendance was based not so much on their legacy of Pennants (they weren't contending for new ones), but on Mickey Mantle: Once he retired, their attendance dropped, and, for the first time, it was less than half the Mets' attendance -- i.e., half the combined attendance of the ex-Giant fans and the ex-Dodger fans going to Flushing Meadow. Of course, that was also the year the Mets stopping stinking and won the World Series.

The Mets were good, but not great, in 1970, 1971 and 1972. As were the Yankees. In August 1973, the Yankees had a shot at the American League Eastern Division title, while the Mets were last in the National League Eastern Division -- but still close enough to have a chance. Then the Mets got hot, and the Yankees went ice cold, and it was the Mets scraping into the Playoffs with an 82-79 record, the worst ever to make the postseason in Major League Baseball, while the Yankees were way off.

The Mets were good, but not great, in 1974, 1975 and 1976. The Yankees were still in the race in the last week in 1974 and the last 2 weeks in 1975. In 1976, they won the Pennant. In 1977, despite not being able to get within 3 games of 1st place most of the season, the Yankees went on a tear starting in early August, and won the whole thing; while the Mets collapsed, thanks in part to dumb trades (made to save money) by team president M. Donald Grant, and attendance at Shea Stadium also collapsed, to the point where it was nicknamed Grant's Tomb. In the meantime, the Yankees' attendance soared with the renovated Yankee Stadium.
Shea Stadium. Judging by the colors of both the seats
and the Houston Astros' uniforms, this has to be
between 1975 and 1980.

Here's the table for their average attendance per home game:

Year Yankees Mets
1970 14,036 < 32,896
1971 13,219 < 27,984
1972 12,550 < 27,361
1973 15,582 < 23,610
1974 15,717 < 21,262
1975 16,513 < 21.365
1976 25,155 > 17,912
1977 25,964 > 13,504
1978 28,838 > 12,592
1979 31,330 > 9,621

The Mets' 1970 figure remained a New York baseball record until the Yankees broke it in 1998, with 36,484. As long as the Yankees were playing first in the pre-renovation Stadium in the South Bronx with a mediocre team, and then in Shea Stadium while Yankee Stadium was being renovated in 1974 and '75, they were going to trail the Mets in attendance. Once Yankee Stadium reopened, they were going to have better attendance no matter what the Mets did.
Indeed, since the old Yankee Stadium reopened in 1976, the only seasons in which the Mets have beaten the Yankees in attendance have been 1984 through 1992 -- when (except for the last season) the Mets were noticeably better than the Yankees, which they haven't been since. (No, not even this year. If the Mets played in this year's AL East, they'd get slaughtered.) The Mets aren't even doing better than the Yankees in attendance this year, in the wake of a Pennant: 38,569 to 35,152 (and if you believe the Mets are getting 35,000 people in the ballpark every home game, then I'd like to sell you the Bronx-Whitestone Bridge).

And 1977 was the year Grant forced Tom Seaver out. Just as the Yankees' attendance took a nosedive when Mantle retired, and that of the Baltimore Orioles a similar drop when Cal Ripken retired, without Seaver, there was really no reason to go to a Met game until they got good again in 1984.

The Mets' current best total ever, and one they will never break as long as they play in 41,000-seat Citi Field, is the 49,902 they got in 2008, the last season at Shea. The Yankees also set their franchise record that year, the last year at the old Yankee Stadium, with 53,070, also a figure that can't be topped at the new Yankee Stadium.

8. Seventies Sports Uniforms Were Cool. There's a reason that the uniforms you occasionally see on "Throwback" nights aren't worn by those teams any longer. It's because they were hideous.

Dan Epstein, author of Big Hair and Plastic Grass (about baseball in the decade) and Stars and Strikes (specifically about 1976), argues that the baseball uniforms of the '70s were part of the decade's charm. Yeah, sure, they were -- if you're looking back from the 2010s and laughing about it.

But suppose you were a Cleveland Indians fan, and, on top of your team not being very good, you had to look at this on TV 81 times a year:
3rd baseman Buddy Bell

Or, imagine that you were a San Diego Padres fan:
The spitball was only the 2nd-most disgusting thing
about Gaylord Perry in the 1978 season.

Or, imagine that you were a San Francisco Giants fan, already having to deal with the problems of going to a baseball game at Candlestick Park:
Willie McCovey is a legend, but a man that big
should never wear an orange shirt.

Or imagine that you were an Atlanta Braves fan, and you had to watch the great Hank Aaron break the most hallowed record in sports while wearing a jersey the Babe wouldn't have been caught dead in:
Willie Mays didn't look right in a Mets uniform, either.

Or, imagine that you were a Chicago White Sox fan, and you loved baseball, but you hated soccer, because (among other reasons) it was a bunch of guys running around in shorts outdoors. And then you see Bill Veeck having the ChiSox decked out in this:
Yes, Yankee Fans, that is Rich "Goose" Gossage.

At least the Philadelphia Phillies only it wore this one time, but imagine that you had paid to see a game at Veterans Stadium (not exactly the palace it was promoted as being when it opened in 1971, though it was an improvement over the crumbling Connie Mack Stadium in the decaying North Philly ghetto), and you saw this:
You could be excused for thinking that these pajamas
were why Pete Rose was banned from baseball.

Or, imagine that you were watching the 1979 World Series. It was bad enough that Memorial Stadium in Baltimore had the worst lighting system in baseball (except for Wrigley Field, which still had no lights at all), making the light from the towers trail whenever the camera had to follow a long fly ball. And it was bad enough that Memorial Stadium had those awful yardlines and torn-up grass, which is what happens in September when you play baseball and football in the same stadium, on the same natural-grass field. And it was bad enough that the alternative, artificial turf, looked even worse at Pittsburgh's Three Rivers Stadium. All those seams.

But those uniforms! This is what the Baltimore Orioles wore at home:
Catcher Rick Dempsey and pitcher Scott McGregor

And while I had no problem with their wearing of 19th Century-style pillbox caps, or the stars that Willie Stargell awarded as if they were college football helmet decals, the Pittsburgh Pirates would mix-and-match between plain white, white with gold pinstripes, lemon-yellow and black:
"We are Family!" Yeah, and your mother dresses you funny.

It wasn't just baseball. Ironically, the Super Bowl XLVIII winners, the Seattle Seahawks, looked better when they were expanded into existence in 1976. That was not the case for the other team that started that year, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. "Bucco Bruce" was an oh-so-'70s logo, but he's not the worst of it. The worst of it was the "Creamsicle jerseys":
Doug Williams, later to win a Super Bowl
quarterbacking the Washington Redskins

The classic Philadelphia Eagles look is white or silver wings on a green helmet. But from 1969 to 1973, they wore green wings on white helmets. They looked like a high school team:
Roman Gabriel looked great in Los Angeles Rams blue & gold.
In these togs, not so much.

The NBA had some truly hideous togs: The Atlanta Hawks, the Cleveland Cavaliers, and the Knicks' experiment of "NEW YORK" below the numbers thankfully didn't last long:
Micheal Ray Richardson must have been thinking,
"Anybody who tells me to wear this
must be on stronger drugs than I'm on."

Remember the Rangers' 1976-77 "shield jerseys"?
Phil Esposito thought the Sasson jeans commercial
2 years later was an improvement. Maybe he was right.

The Vancouver Canucks haven't exactly been known for being well-dressed, but they bottomed out in the late 1970s:
Stan Smyl

9. The Jimmy Carter Malaise. Conservatives, desperate to keep up the image of Ronald Reagan as a great President in the wake of the successes of liberal Democrats Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, and the failures of both George Bushes, are determined to show that Carter was "a failed President." They endlessly described first Clinton, and then Obama, as "another Jimmy Carter." They still do to this today, even though Carter hasn't been President for 35 years.

Part of the way they point this out is by using the word "malaise." The word is French, and it means "ill ease." In English, it's "A feeling of general bodily discomfort, fatigue or unpleasantness," or, more to this point, "An ambiguous feeling of mental or moral depression." A general feeling that things simply aren't right. And in the 2nd half of 1979, all through the 1980 campaign, and ever since, Carter's opponents -- including Senator Ted Kennedy, who opposed him in the Democratic Presidential Primaries -- used the word "malaise" to describe the feeling that the Carter Administration had given America.

You know who never used the word "malaise"? Jimmy Carter. Here's what he said in what became known as "The Malaise Speech," on July 15, 1979:

I want to talk to you right now about a fundamental threat to American democracy... 

I do not refer to the outward strength of America, a nation that is at peace tonight everywhere in the world, with unmatched economic power and military might. The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. It is a crisis of confidence.

It is a crisis that strikes at the very heart and soul and spirit of our national will. We can see this crisis in the growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives and in the loss of a unity of purpose for our nation.
Carter in his Oval Office address, July 15, 1979

That sure sounds like a malaise. But the President didn't use the word then. Nor did the word appear in any of his public statements during his Administration. So who started using the word "malaise" to describe the situation then? Apparently, it was Hendrik Hertzberg, Carter's chief speechwriter, who wrote the "Crisis of Confidence Speech" (the "Malaise Speech"), in an interview the next day.

Yes, there was a malaise. But Carter sure as hell didn't cause it. It was brought about by a cumulative effect of things that happened under Presidents of both parties, including, to a degree, Carter himself:

* The assassination of Democratic President John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963.

* Democratic President Lyndon B. Johnson's seeming abandonment of his Great Society principles to spend on the Vietnam War, and his apparent lies about it (which came to be known as "the credibility gap").

* The apparent failure of LBJ's "War On Poverty."

* The race riots of 1964 to 1969.

* The riot at the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago.

* Republican President Richard Nixon's failure (or, more accurately, his refusal) to end the Vietnam War in his 1st term (finally doing so at the start of his 2nd).

* Nixon's involvement in the Watergate break-in of June 17, 1972, and his ensuing cover-up thereof. Each of the preceding was cited to Carter by his chief pollster, Patrick Caddell, who gave Carter the phrase "crisis of confidence."

* Republican President Gerald Ford's pardon of Nixon, and his inability to reduce unemployment and inflation.

* The refusal (seen by conservatives) of every President since World War II, from Franklin Roosevelt to Carter (yes, all of them, including the Republicans Dwight D. Eisenhower, Nixon and Ford) to properly stand up to the Communist and terrorist menaces, anywhere in the world.

* Carter's "giveaway" of the Panama Canal to, you know, the country it was actually in, Panama. Never mind that it was Ford's idea. (It was one of the big reasons that Reagan ran against Ford in the 1976 Republican Primaries.)

* Carter's own inability to handle a 2nd round of inflation -- in each case, caused largely by Middle Eastern nations raising the price of oil.

All of this happened before the speech, as well as before the Iran Hostage Crisis that began on November 4, 1979, and the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan on December 27, 1979, and Carter's reaction to each: For the former, his dragged-out negotiations to get the hostages out and the failure of the "Desert One" rescue mission on April 25, 1980, which probably gave his re-election campaign a mortal wound; and for the latter, his boycott of the 1980 Summer Olympics that were scheduled for Moscow, which did more to effectively depict the Soviets as an "Evil Empire" than anything Reagan ever said his life.

When Carter was inaugurated on January 20, 1977, the national unemployment rate was 7.5 percent. That's too high. It inched up to 7.6 percent in February. Then it began to drop. By January 1978, it was 6.4 percent. By January 1979, 5.9 percent. By May 1979, 5.6 percent -- the lowest it had been since August 1974, the month Nixon resigned. I should point out that the factors that would drive it up were already in place by that point. Indeed, unemployment is often a lagging indicator of how good (or bad) the economy is. When Carter gave that speech in July 1979, it was 5.7 percent. Not great, but hardly cause for alarm.

But it jumped to 6.0 percent the next month, was 6.3 percent by January 1980, and then in the Spring, it shot up: 6.9 percent in April, 7.5 percent in May, 7.8 percent in July -- just in time for Reagan to accept the Republican nomination. It was around 7.5 percent for the rest of Carter's Presidency, including when he left office on January 20, 1981 -- in other words, exactly the same as it was when he was inaugurated.

But how was it under Reagan? That's a story I'll get to when I do the 1980s version of this post. But it didn't get back below the 5.6 percent that it was in May 1979 until... April 1988.

However, it wasn't just the unemployment rate. Inflation was high. So were interest rates. And wages had begun to stagnate. The stagnancy and the inflation were combined into a single word: "Stagflation." That, as much as anything else, created the malaise.

And a generation of working people in their 30s and 40s, who had been activists as young people in the 1960s, were used to standing up to those in power and saying, "Enough! We will not put up with this crap anymore!" And they saw the "malaise," and, as they had been trained to do, they blamed the people in power -- except they didn't see big business as part of the problem, the way antiwar activists saw Boeing and McDonnell-Douglas building bombers and Dow making napalm as part of the problem in Vietnam. No, these people looked to the government, and only the government, as the problem.

That's why so many of them sided with Ted Kennedy in the Winter and Spring of 1980. It wasn't so much a vote for the insurgent candidate (many people, as it turned out, had a problem with Ted's private life) as it was a protest vote against the incumbent or establishment candidate, as in for Henry Wallace against Harry Truman in 1948, for Gene McCarthy and then Robert Kennedy against Lyndon Johnson and then Hubert Humphrey in 1968, for Reagan against Ford in 1976, and later for Pat Robertson against George H.W. Bush in 1988, for Pat Buchanan against Daddy Bush in 1992, for Ralph Nader against Al Gore in 2000, for Barack Obama against Hillary Clinton in 2008 (the only one of these that went all the way), and for Bernie Sanders against Hillary this year.

A United Auto Workers official put it this way:

It's a different generation of workingmen. None of these guys came over from the old country, poor and starving, grateful for any job they could get. None of them have been through a depression. They've been exposed, at least through television, to all the youth movements of the last ten years...

They're just not going to swallow the same kind of treatment their fathers did... They want more than just a job for 30 years.

Compared to his successors, Carter did amazingly well at creating jobs. Under his Presidency, jobs increased by an average of 2.58 million per year; Reagan, 2.01 million; Bush 41, 668 thousand (not million, thousand); Bill Clinton, 2.86 million; Bush 43, 160 thousand; Obama so far, 1.40 million.

Annual rate increase? Carter 3.06 percent, Reagan, 2.06 percent; Bush 41, 0.62 percent; Bill Clinton, 2.48 percent; Bush 43, 0.12 percent; Obama so far, 1.11 percent (keeping in mind that he inherited the Dubya meltdown of 2008). Jimmy Carter created jobs at a greater rate per year than any President since LBJ.

Want that in table form? Jobs per year, in millions:

D Clinton 2.86
D Carter 2.58
R Reagan 2.01
D Obama 1.40
R Bush 41 0.67
R Bush 43 0.16

Job growth per year:

D Carter 3.06
D Clinton 2.48
R Reagan 2.06
D Obama 1.11
R Bush 41 0.62
R Bush 43 0.12

In other words, Carter was 23 percent better at creating jobs than "job-creating machine" Clinton, and 48 percent better at it than Reagan who "turned the economy around" and brought about "Morning in America."

You know conservatives: As their avatar, Reagan, said, "Facts are stupid things." He was trying to quote John Adams: "Facts are stubborn things."

Conservatives always want you to believe that everything was just fine until noon on Inauguration Day when the Republican President went home; and then went to hell as soon as the Democratic President-elect says, "So help me, God." And that it works the other way: As soon as the Democratic President gives way to the Republican President-elect, everything became fine.

Never mind that Reagan himself, in his Inaugural Address, said that America's problems "will not go away in days, weeks, or months. But they will go away." Which was true: The only questions were how, and when. And then he preceded to tell the biggest lie any President had ever told to that point: "Government is not the solution to the problem. Government is the problem." And then, he spent the next 8 years proving his point.

Why, a conservative born after 1980, not old enough to really remember Reagan as the sitting President, and raised on the myth more than the man, would probably find it hard to believe that the U.S. hockey team that beat the Soviets at the 1980 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid, New York, could have done so under President Carter, rather than under President Reagan. (Carter wasn't there for that game, but Vice President Walter Mondale, a Minnesotan and a hockey buff, was.)

Or maybe Reagan was just lucky, and Carter wasn't. As someone put it in the Summer of 1981, "If Carter had fired the air-traffic controllers, there would have been a crash the next day."

Reagan ushered in the "Decade of Greed." Which followed the 1970s, a.k.a....

10. "The Me Decade." Tom Wolfe, already a renowned journalist but not yet a novelist, coined the phrase in the cover story of the August 23, 1976 issue of New York magazine. He suggested that the economic boom of the Fifties and Sixties (there were some recessions in there, but nothing like what we got in 1973-76, 1980-83, 1990-93, 2001-04 and 2007-10), combined with the realization of "One man can make a difference" and the drug culture, rather than making Americans more community-oriented or human-race-oriented, made them more self-oriented.
Yes, the decade was excessive, and very self-indulgent: As rock historian Dave Marsh said about Led Zeppelin's biggest hit single, "Whole Lotta Love," which came out just as 1969 was turning over to 1970, "Hey, I didn't say the ape calls were inappropriate, only excessive." That may be the most Seventies statement ever.

The 1970s was the last decade before crack made cocaine cheap, and thus its effects were made so obvious to a wide audience. It was the first full decade of the Sexual Revolution (as I've said before, the early Sixties were really an extension of the Fifties), and the last decade before anyone heard of AIDS, and thus it was the only decade where there seemed to be true "free love." Despite the deaths of Jimi, Janis and Jim near the beginning, the decade seemed to be the last time we had a true time of "Sex, drugs and rock & roll" with no consequences. (Of course, there was never such a time.)

The greasers of the mid-Fifties, the beats of the late Fifties, the folkies of the early Sixties and the hippies of the late Sixties were now adults, and could now afford to indulge themselves in their pleasures the way their parents, the kids of the Great Depression of the Thirties and World War II in the Forties, did with their booze and their tobacco and their swingers' parties.

And, having gone through Vietnam and marching for civil rights, they could now say to their parents, "Yes, we now have paid our dues, just like you paid yours. It's time we were allowed to party, man. And we are gonna boogie all night long!" Or, as KISS put it, "I... wanna rock and roll all night... and party every day!" Redundant? Everyone acted like no one had to care, as if they said, "We did our bit for king and country, we played our brother's keeper, now it's time to have some fun for ourselves."

But it was also the decade of the Concert for Bangladesh; the One-to-One Concert; Wattstax; the S.N.A.C.K. Benefit; and the M.U.S.E. "No Nukes" Concerts. These shows highlighted the issues of world hunger, mental health, inner-city issues, hunger at home, and nuclear proliferation. Just because a few self-indulgent people were carelessly having fun, it didn't mean that idealism had to stop. And it didn't.

That rock and roll idealism was better in the '70s than it was in the '60s is arguable; that it was better-organized is not.

*

I met a girl who sang the blues
and I asked her for some happy news.
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
where I'd heard the music years before
but the man there said the music wouldn't play.
And in the streets, the children screamed.
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken.
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admired most
the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
they caught the last train for the Coast
the day the music died.

Don McLean was wrong. "The music" hadn't died. It had grown up. If the people you admired had "caught the last train for the Coast," it's because that's where they were needed. And they would come back when they were needed where you were. And they did.

In the 1970s, Madison Square Garden hosted 3 NBA Finals and 2 Stanley Cup Finals. It also hosted John Lennon, Muhammad Ali, and a now-sainted Pope.

Time marches on. The good old days weren't as great as you thought they were. But neither were the bad days that followed as bad as you remembered.