Teix Sends Message, Yanks Play Baseball As Men, Beat Baby Mets

This is why Mark Teixeira was kept around.

The Citi Series -- remember, it's not a Subway Series because it's not a World Series -- moved over to Yankee Stadium II last night. It was another wild game. The Mets led 2-0 before the Yankees even came to bat, thanks to a home run by ex-Yankee Curtis Granderson. The Yankees made it 3-2 at the end of the 1st inning, on doubles by Chase Headley and Didi Gregorius.

The Mets tied it up in the top of the 2nd. The Yankees made it 6-3 after 2, largely thanks to a home run by Mark Teixeira off Steven Matz, his 10th "Teix Message" of the season, but his 1st home run all season batting righthanded.

With 1 out in the bottom of the 5th, Matz nailed Teix on the ankle with a pitch. Obviously, because the Mets are a bunch of babies who can't handle it when somebody actually stands up to them (see: "Utley, Chase"), it was on purpose. Teix knew damn well it was on purpose, and yelled at Matz on his way to 1st base.

The Mets' catcher, Rene Rivera, told him it was on purpose, because Teix was stealing signs. After the game, Robles complained about it to the media: "I think he was trying to pick up signs. I got a little upset. That's not the way you play baseball. You have to play baseball as men."

What an ignorant little schmuck! Stealing signs has been a part of baseball since the old National League version of the Baltimore Orioles of the 1890s! Those guys -- John McGraw, Wilbert Robinson, Willie Keeler -- would have told you, "Hell, yeah, that's baseball played by men!"

"You have to play baseball as men." What a laugh! Did I mention that the Mets were babies?

The Mets closed to within 6-4 in the top of the 7th. Then came the bottom of the inning. Hansel Robles was brought in to pitch for the Mets. Debutant Gary Sanchez greeted him with a single, Aaron Hicks with a double, and Rob Refsnyder with a sacrifice fly to make it 7-4 Yanks. Then Robles walked Teix. Then Robles walked Headley to load the bases with only 1 out.

Standing on 2nd base, Teix started touching his arms, his cap, his pants, anything that made it look like he was giving signs -- giving the Mets' signs to his teammates. Clearly, he didn't have them. Clearly, he didn't need to have them. The Mets got even more upset.

After the game, Teix said, "I've never gotten inside someone's head by just standing there." Well, this isn't just anyone. It's the Mets. He also said, "If it was that bad, change your signs." Translation: "If you think that I think that you're that stupid, then maybe you are that stupid."

At any rate, Starling Castro singled Hicks home. The Mets brought Josh Edgin in to pitch, because, clearly, Robles was too preoccupied to be out there. He walked Didi to bring home another run.

Neil Walker hit a consolation home run for the Mets in the 9th. Yankees 9, Mets 5. WP: Luis Severino (1-6), who pitched 4 1/3rd strong innings in relief of the shaky rookie starter, Chad Green. No save. LP: Matz (8-8). That's 2 out of 3 from the team whose fans claim they're "taking back New York."

The Met fan group The 7 Line Army attended last night. This isn't much of an army. Their best weapon appears to be their blinding, ugly orange shirts.

The Mets' problems deepened at the end: Yoenis Cespedes, the biggest reason (slightly ahead of the now-departed Daniel Murphy) that they went from mild contenders for the Wild Card to the Pennant last season, was playing golf when he knew he should have been taking it easy on an injured quadriceps, reinjured it striking out in his last at-bat. He goes on the Disabled List.

Seriously, even as defending National League Champions, the Mets are such a stupid organization. Cue Gene Rayburn, the late, great host of the original Match Game: "The Moron Mets are so dumb!" Cue the audience: "How dumb are they?"

The series concludes tonight. Starting for the Mets is their big fat cheating elderly bastard, who used to be ours: Bartolo Colon. For us, Nasty Nathan Eovaldi.

Come on you Pinstripes! Let's show these blue & orange wankers that they will never "take back New York!"

I mean, let's face it: If they think that Mark Teixeira has stolen their signs, that's not good. But if they haven't changed their signs, then they really are stupid.

Sabathia Rehabs Self, Yanks; Mets' Moment Over

Toward the end of last season, CC Sabathia left the Yankees, and checked himself into rehab for alcoholism.

It didn't make a difference as far as the American League Wild Card game went: Masahiro Tanaka was the ace last season, and if he was able to pitch that game, he was going to pitch it, and he did. Whether CC's absence would have made a difference had the Yankees gone on to the AL Division Series and beyond, we'll never know.

Because of a scheduled day off yesterday, and a rainout the day before, the Yankees' most recent game was last Saturday, at Comerica Park, against the Detroit Tigers, who came into the game undefeated at 3-0.

CC made his 1st start for the Yankees since his rehab. After 4 games, split evenly, 2-2, with no Yankee starter having finished 6 innings, and with the gametime temperature being 31 degrees, the coldest in Comerica Park's 16-year history, a lot of people were worried that the Big Fella, known as an eater of innings (among other things), but now within 3 months of his 36th birthday, would also not last long.

But he did. He went 6 innings, allowing 3 runs on 4 hits and 4 walks, plus 3 strikeouts. He pitched to a batter in the 7th before Joe Girardi replaced him with Kirby Yates, who allowed a 4th run. But Chasen Shreve, Dellin Betances and Andrew Miller went the last 2 1/3rd innings, allowing only 1 baserunner.

In contrast, the Yankee bats, which had been as cold as the weather on Friday afternoon, heated up. In the 1st inning, Alex Rodriguez took former Met Mike Pelfrey deep for his 1st home run of the season, the 688th of his career. Didi Gregorius brought home runs in the 2nd with a single and the 4th with a sacrifice fly. Jacoby Ellsbury tripled home 2 runs in the 4th. Carlos Beltran capped the Yankee scoring (of course he did, he wasn't batting with 2 out in the bottom of the 9th, down by a run, with a man on base) when he hit a 2-run homer in the 5th, his 394th career dinger.

Yankees 8, Tigers 4. WP: Sabathia (1-0 -- Thank you, Big Man). No save. LP: Pelfrey (0-1). Escaping from Detroit with a split isn't bad at all, especially given the Yankees' record there since the Tigers left Tiger Stadium in the ghetto for Comerica Park downtown.

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Tonight, the Yankees start a 3-game series in Toronto against those pesky Blue Jays, who, for the 1st time since 1994 (or 1995, if you consider the '94 Division title to have been unawarded), are defending American League Eastern Division Champions. All 3 games have an official starting time of 7:07 PM. Here are the scheduled starting pitchers:

* Tonight: Masahiro Tanaka vs. Aaron Sanchez.

* Tomorrow: Michael Pineda vs. J.A. Happ.

* Thursday: Nathan Eovaldi vs. Marcus Stroman.

Then the Yankees come home, and begin a series against the Seattle Mariners. Friday is April 15, Jackie Robinson Day, when the universal retirement of Jackie's Number 42 is reversed for a day, and every major league player wears his number, so that every person in the ballpark, and every person watching on television, must see Jackie's legacy.

Speaking of Jackie, last night, as part of its American Experience series, PBS aired Part I of the new documentary Jackie Robinson, by Ken Burns, who focused heavily on Jackie during his 1994 miniseries Baseball.

It will air Part II tonight, and will repeat the series on the weekend. DVR it. I insist. It's about more than baseball: It casts some perspective on the state of American politics in the last 60 years, including our current racial debates.

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Has anybody noticed that the Mets are 2-4? They got beat 2 out of 3 at home by the Philadelphia Phillies, "the worst team in baseball," over the weekend. They got shut out on Saturday, and Matt Harvey got beat on Sunday. Then, last night, Steven Matz got clobbered by the Miami Marlins -- again, in Flushing.

Remember Bull Durham? These words should stick in the mind of any Met fan who wants to remind any Yankee Fan about last year's Pennant:

Nuke: Can't you just let me enjoy the moment?
Crash: Moment's over.