Saturday, August 8, 2015

Girardi and His Binder Cost Yanks Opener vs. Jays

Yet again, the Yankees could have used a couple of those runs they expended in their 13-run and 12-run barrages against the White Sox and their 13-run onslaught against the Red Sox.

The Toronto Blue Jays came into Yankee Stadium II to begin the most important 3 games they've played since October 1993. R.A. Dickey, the 40-year-old knuckeballer who once won a Cy Young Award with that team in Flushing, started for them. For the Yankees, Nathan Eovaldi.

Josh Donaldson hit a home run in the 1st inning, but Nasty Nate settled down after that, getting into the 7th inning, allowing no more runs, just 4 more hits, and 2 walks.

Mark Teixeira led off the bottom of the 2nd with a drive that had to be reviewed, but was confirmed as a home run, his 30th "Teix Message" of the season. This makes him only the 2nd switch-hitter to hit 30 homers in a season for the Yankees. You might have heard of the other one: Mickey Mantle.

The Yankees wasted a leadoff walk by Carlos Beltran in the 4th. The game remained 1-1 into the 7th... and that's when Joe Girardi began to fuck it up.

Eovaldi got the 1st out, but then Teix made an error, and Eovaldi allowed a hit. Girardi looked into his Binder Full of Strategies, and saw that the newly-acquired Ben Revere, who was up next, is a lefthander hitter, and Eovaldi is righthanded. So, despite Eovaldi having been very effective and having thrown only 112 pitches (a man can throw more than that, unless he's Pedro Martinez, who is not a man, he's a rat and a thug), Girardi did what his binder told him to do, take Eovaldi out, and bring in lefthanded pitcher Justin Wilson, to pitch only to Revere.

Wilson struck Revere out. In other words, it worked.

Now, common sense tells you, "This guy just got us a big out. Maybe he can get us more." But Joe Girardi's Binder told Joe Girardi, "Now, take out the lefthanded reliever after only one fucking batter, and bring in a righthanded reliever to pitch to the righthanded batter." This is the kind of shit that gave us Boone Logan.

Dellin Betances immediately walked the newly-acquired Troy Tulowitzki to load the bases.

Fortunately, he got Donaldson to ground out, ending the threat.

The Yankees wasted a 1-out single by Didi Gregorius in the bottom of the 7th. Jose Bautista singled off Betances to start the top of the 8th, and stole 2nd, but Betances got the next 3 outs. Brett Gardner led off the bottom of the 8th with a single, but was erased with a double play. Andrew Miller worked out of a jam in the 9th, but a double play erased winning run Beltran. We went to extra innings.

Top of the 10th. Common sense says, "Andrew Miller is your closer, leave him in." Joe Girardi's Binder said, "Bring in Branden Pinder."

Branden Pinder? Why, because his name looks like "Binder"?

Pinder threw a fat fastball to Jose Bautista, who really needs to be tested for steroids. Home run. The Yankees went down meekly in the bottom of the 10th.

Blue Jays 2, Yankees 1. WP: Brett Cecil (3-4). SV: Roberto Osuna (9). LP: Pinder (0-1).

Despite a couple of dumb pitching mistakes, and the failure of the Yankee bats to back up the Teix Message, this loss is all on Girardi.

How many more times are we going to let him fuck it up like this? George Steinbrenner would have fired his binder-dependent ass 2 years ago.

Those pesky Blue Jays still trail the Yankees by 3 1/2 games -- by 5 games in the All-Important Loss Column.

The series continues this afternoon. Ivan Nova starts for the Bronx "Bombers," and newly-acquired David Price goes for the Jays.

The Jays, not having been in a Pennant race since their home country's head of government was Kim Campbell, have decided to go for it.

Time to show them what a postseason team looks like, and how far they really are from it. Come on you Pinstripes!

And, Joe: Burn that goddamned binder! Use your eyes to tell you when a pitcher can go on and when he can't! You know, like a real manager!

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