Saturday, July 2, 2011

Yankees Make Mutts Smell Their Colon

So, Bartolo Colon (6-3) comes off the Disabled List, and goes right into it against The Other Team. He throws 6 innings, and, while he allows 5 hits, there are no walks, and 6 strikeouts.

Yeah, I know, Pity Field is a pitcher's park... but how often does that help Mutts pitchers?

Actually, it had happened quite a bit when Dillon Gee pitched for them. They were 11-1 in games he started, and there was a bit of worry: Game on Fox, pitcher the Yanks don't know... That usually spells trouble for the Bronx Bombers.

Not today. Curtis Granderson hit his 22nd home run of the season off Gee (8-2) in the 6th inning, and that spurred the Yanks on to a 5-2 victory. Eduardo Nunez added his 3rd homer in the 9th.

Jose Reyes left the game in the 3rd, with tightness in his hamstring. Figures, seeing he's such a ham. In fact, he's so much of a ham, Jewish Met fans can't watch when he comes to the plate. Ba-dump-bump-tissssh.

(I know, it's daylight Saturday, so if they're that Orthodox, they can't go to the ballpark today anyway.)

But after his whining last night, maybe Reyes needs to just shut up and play ball. After all, at the rate both Nunez and Alex Rodriguez (who, inexplicably, called him the best player on the planet last night) Nunez are going, Reyes might be the 4th-best shortstop in New York.

Maybe 5th-best, if Ramiro Pena ever learns how to hit.

Jose Reyes: A loser. Always has been. Always will be.

And not just because he plays for the Mets.

But Colon (pronounced "Cuh-LOAN," like "cologne") sure came out smelling like a rose. (Not like Pete Rose, though. That's one thing Met fans and Yankee Fans can agree on: We don't like Pete.)

According to's report:

Colon's biggest trouble spot with the Mets came in the fifth, as Jason Bay reached on an infield hit, and both Lucas Duda and Josh Thole rapped more convincing singles to the outfield grass.

But playing under National League rules, Colon took advantage of facing the .043-hitting Gee, who was permitted to swing away and bounced to third base for what would be an inning-ending double play.

Hey, Met fans: What do you think of the Designated Hitter rule now? Your bums sure could have used it today! Heh heh heh heh.

So the Yanks have now won 4 out of 5 against the Mess, clinching the season series. The finale is tomorrow, a 1:10 start at Pity Field.

I could have used the other name some Yankee Fans have for the place, which rhymes with City, Citi and Pity, but it's not that bad a place.

Especially when it's half-full of Yankee Fans. Chuckle chuckle smirk smirk.


Jeter hits 2994 6
Rivera saves 580 21
A-Rod homers 626 137
A-Rod hits 2758 242
Magic Number 79 (to eliminate Scum, 76 for Rays, 70 for O's, 68 for Jays)

No comments: