Saw this on the Chicago Tribune's website. Great paper, now that it's long since abandoned its historic heritage as a mouthpiece for hard-right conservatism.
I've arranged these in order of my preference, not the site's.
10. Q: Why did LeBron James get an automatic transmission in his Lamborghini?
A: He's not good in the clutch.
9. LeBron James is set to release his own line of headphones. The sound quality is amazing as it has no ring.
8. Q: Why does LeBron James only get served boneless buffalo wings?
A: Because he has a tendency to choke.
7. LeBron James was just traded to the Florida Panthers. He should be wildly successful, since in the NHL, there are only 3 periods. (Variation on an old joke. In fact, I think the first NBA team I heard it about was, ironically, the Dallas Mavericks.)
6. I saw LeBron James before the game and I asked for a dollar. He gave me 75 cents. I said, "Where's the rest?" He replied, "I don't have a 4th quarter."
5. Apple is coming out with a LeBron James iPhone. But it only vibrates, because it has no rings.
4. Q: What does LeBron James have in common with a fabric store?
A: Neither one has any hardware.
3. Tomorrow is Lebron James Day. Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.
2. Q: What's the difference between the planet Saturn and LeBron James?
A: They're both big and full of gas, but at least Saturn has rings.
1. Q: Why didn't LeBron James go to college?
A: Because he can't pass the finals.
And here, I thought it was because there was no money in it.
I guess he never heard of the University of Miami. They're near South Beach, and they've been known to pay athletes.
I hear LeBron wanted to watch CSI: Miami, but when he turned on the TV, it was showing Hot In Cleveland!