Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Nice Game in Toronto, Eh? Not for the Mets!

Nice game, eh? Yanks 5, Jays 3, at the SkyDump -- excuse me, the Rogers Centre -- and they beat Roy Halladay, one of the biggest Yankee Killers ever.

Andy Pettitte, nice start; Mariano Rivera, the save. How many times have we heard that?

Homers from Johnny Damon, Mark Teixeira and Hideki Matsui. Thank you very much, muito obrigado, and domo origato.

Can we be confident going into this hee-yuge series with The Scum? As today's birthday boy -- and I do not mean Roger Clemens -- would say, "Yes we can, yes we can!"

*

It's not just that John Flaherty has basically turned one hit (his 13th-inning walkoff double against The Scum on July 1, 2004) into a broadcasting career -- then again, Fran Healy was a pathetic-hitting backup catcher for the Yankees and he didn't even do that much -- it's also that he's a very strange-looking man.

Could be worse. Ever see the Devils' "studio show" from the Goal Bar at the Prudential Center's north end? I swear, every time I see Chico Resch and Ken Daneyko, I'm thinking, "Hey Gomez, hey Lurch, where's Morticia?" If John MacLean, once the Devils' all-time leading scorer but now a totally bald assistant coach, ever walks in there, he is so going to look like Uncle Fester.

*

Francisco "K-Rod" Rodriguez blew another save for the Mutts. As I write this, it's Mets 7, Cardinals 7 in the bottom of the 9th at Pity Field.

The Phillies have lost, and so have the Marlins (of course, the Marlins losing means the "Washington Natinals" have won), but the Mets are barely within binoculars' range of the Wild Card now.

Oh, the Mets, the Mets, the Mets, the Mets...

I'd watch them blow it in extra innings, but Countdown is coming on, and it's time to watch Keith Olbermann take apart all those right-wing lunatics.

As Keith himself might say, You want me to watch the Mets? How dare you sir! Watching the Mets is torture!

Good night, and good luck!

*

Update: So much for good luck. Top of the 10th, St. Louis loads the bases, and the Mets bring in Sean Green -- not to be confused with the now-washed-up now-ex-Met Shawn Green. And Sean Green starts by pitching to ex-Trenton Thunder star Mark DeRosa, and with his first pitch, remember, the bases are loaded, with his first pitch... hit him!

They say that baseball is a game where you never know when you're going to see something you've never seen before. I've seen pitchers hit batters with the bases loaded, but never in extra innings. (Gee, ya think it was on purpose?)

Hey, no big deal, it's still only 8-7. And the Mets still only needed one more out to get out of the inning. The batter?

Young man name of Jose Alberto Pujols. Phat Albert. Since, in St. Louis, Stan Musial is forever The Man, Pujols is El Hombre.

Swing and a miss, strike one. Swing and a miss, strike two. Maybe, maybe... LONG drive down the left-field line, foul at the last instant. Maybe, maybe...

As Ralph Kiner, whose 369 career home runs now stand just 14 ahead of Pujols, would say, "It is going, it is going, it is gone, goodbye!" 12-7 Cards.

That's 36 for the season, and with his 355th Pujols passes Lee May (as far as I know, legit) and Luis Gonzalez (anybody thinks he's legit, you're delusional), and ties Greg Vaughn (I'm not sure about him). Next up for Pujols, Yogi Berra with 358, Johnny Mize with 359, Gary Gaetti with 360 and Joe DiMaggio with 361.

Another really bad loss for the Mess. As they said in the movie Wildcats, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly!"

3 comments:

"Nutball Gazette" said...

Keith was great again
Ripping Lou Dumbass Dobbs

Uncle Mike said...

This is how much of a baseball nut I am: You said "Keith," my first thought was "Hernandez," not "Olbermann." I hope that doesn't make me one of tonight's "Worst Persons in the World."

"Nutball Gazette" said...

I think Olbermann might like it.
Maybe one of his "Best Persons of the World"