Sunday, August 9, 2009

5-0! We Beat The Scum! There's only one CC!

Five-nil! We beat The Scum, five-nil! We beat The Scum, five-nil! We beat The Scum, five-nil!

CC, there's only one CC! There's only one CC! There's only one CC!

This time, I was there. Well, outside The Stadium (Mark II). I knew my chances of getting inside were Slim and None -- not to be confused with Mystique and Aura, who appear to have their jobs back.

I was on River Avenue, knowing I wasn't getting in, but that's okay: I was looking for a T-shirt, one that said "1918*." So far, no; the closest anybody came was "ROID SOX" on the front and "BIG SLOPPY" and Number 34 on the back.

Vinny Milano, a.k.a. Bald Vinny, the T-shirt king, Bleacher Creature and Season One Ultimate Roadtripper, had one that had "ROID SOX" on the front and "BIG PAH P.E.D." on the back. I asked if he had "1918-asterisk," but he said he didn't. I told him he should have them made. They'd sell like crazy.

I also like the one that has the Interstate 95 shield and "NEW YORK, 207 miles: The Only Sign of Life In Boston." (This is a variation on an old joke: What's the best thing to come out of Boston? I-95.)

I saw a guy in a Red Sox jersey get arrested and tossed into a police van. And another get yelled at by a New York cop for being disorderly. For the most part, though, the Sox fans looked a big shellshocked and didn't cause trouble.

CC Sabathia pitched his best game as a Yankee -- and, at least until October, his most important. A no-hitter into the 6th, and 1st-pitch strikes to 17 of the 26 batters he faced. The last batter he faced was Casey Kotchmann, and CC fanned him for the 3rd time, the 2nd out in the bottom of the 8th.

And Joe Girardi took him out. To hell with the pitch count: If a pitcher is pitching well and shows no sign of tiring, you leave him in! What if you take Phil Hughes out after that one batter, and, against the one team that's had any success against him, Mariano doesn't have it, and it goes 15 innings again? You're gonna wish you had Hughes then!

Nope, Hughes got the last out in the 8th, but Derek Jeter snuck a 2-run homer off the screen on the right-field pole. 314 feet, 4 inches.

5-0 Yanks, so no Mariano. Girardi brings in David Robertson, and he lets 2 men on, and I'm thinking, Oh, here we go again, Yanks-Sox, one of those games, cue Yogi Berra: "It ain't over 'til it's over." But Robertson got the last 3 outs, and the last out? A called 3rd strike on David Ortiz. How fucking fitting.

That felt damn good. Whether it was the vibes drifting over from The Stadium II to the Dugout bar across River Avenue, instead of drifting 45 miles to home, or being surrounded by 100 -- or 50,000 -- Yankee Fans, I don't know. But it felt soooo gooood. As I've said before, What woman could follow this? (But, as I've also said before, they are welcome to try to prove me wrong.)


Speaking of Big Pah P.E.D., he held a press conference before the game and said he never used steroids or performance-enhancing drugs, but may have taken a vitamin supplement that contained a bad substance.

Officer, I swear, I didn't speed, I just drove a car that had the capacity to go 90 miles an hour!

Colonel Jessup, did you order the Code Red? "No, I did not. I just happened to know of the Code Red's existence, and said aloud what would happen if I did order it, and, well, it happened."

Ortiz, you're a lying bastard. Fortunately, you are now a useless bastard as well.


In the 7th, Ramon Ramirez hit last night's walker-offer, Alex Rodriguez, in the back with a pitch. As if every Yankee Fan on the planet, from Subway Squawker Lisa Swan to some random fan on the street to yours truly to A-Rod himself didn't expect that.

What I totally did not expect was home plate umpire Jim Joyce remembering that there are rules, and that they must be applied equally to both teams, and that, as umpiring crew chief, it was his job to apply them. He tossed Ramirez on the spot.

Which, now that I think about it, is slightly odd: In America, Joyce, who threw Ramirez out, would be called a "tosser"; but in England, for being nasty little punk, Ramirez would be called a "tosser."

It's about time the umpires treated the Red Sox like the classless thugs they are. Jim Joyce, as they would say in England, you're a top man. Thank you, sir.


If you had told me before the series that the Yankees would take 3 of 4, I would gladly have taken it. Of course, if you'd told me that the Sox would score 6 in the first game and that the Yanks would score just 7 runs in the next 24 innings, I would've said, Forget it, that's a sweep for Boston.

This series is in New York, so it's not a "Boston Massacre." But a 20-6 edge in the first 3 games, I love it. Beating The Scum, you gotta love it.

Times like this, it's good to go onto the Boston Globe's website and read Dan (Oh Woe Is The Nation) Shaughnessy.

It's like 2004 and 2007 never happened. And you know what? They never did (*).

We can talk all we want about when A-Rod has become, or will become, "A Real Yankee," I think it's more pertinent to say that, this series, The House That Steinbrenner Built became "Yankee Stadium." Yeahhhh...


The Mets lost again, 3-1 in San Diego.

Why do the Mutts even bother? At least Luis Castillo is back for them.

And, yet again, Met broadcaster Gary Cohen pronounced "Alfonzo" -- in this case, not Edgardo, the Met second baseman who hasn't played for them since 2002 or anyone else in the majors since the 2006 Blue Jays, but Padres catcher Eliezer -- "Al-FAWN-zo" instead of the proper "Al-FON-zo."


And it's now August 9. Happy Nixon Resignation Day, everyone! Our Constitution still works, and our great republic is a government of laws, not of men.

It's been 35 years. Wow.

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