Monday, June 21, 2010

Why the President Shouldn't Be Playing Golf

Let me get this straight: The defenders of uncaring big business and "Drill baby drill," who gave us a "president" who spent enough days to add up to almost 2 full years either at Camp David, Kennebunkport, Crawford or otherwise on vacation, and who are holding up an unemployment benefits bill, are criticizing the rightfully-elected (by a majority) President of this nation?

What next, are the Mets going to criticize Tiger Woods for not winning anything lately?

I agree that President Obama shouldn't be playing golf. Not because it's taking time away from fixing the many problems the Republicans caused when they had the power, but because golf is a stupid game.

And who's challenging Obama on this? Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele, who would not now have that job if the President of the United States were not a black man. Certainly, he's not qualified, as the highest office he's held is Lieutenant Governor of Maryland. He did run for the U.S. Senate, and got hammered. Which is understandable, as Barbara Mikulski is one of the best Senators the nation has, a liberal in a liberal State, and an intelligent person, while Steele is a conservative and not exactly the brightest bulb in the chandelier. I'm not sure he can even SPELL "chandelier." Maybe he could, if you put a dollar sign in front of it.

The President is saying, "The Republicans drove the car into the ditch, and now they're asking for the keys back." It's taken Obama this long to tow the car out and make it roadworthy again, and the Republicans are complaining that he's driving it too slow. Next, they'll be complaining that he's running the car on alternative fuels!

They want the keys back? Hey, it could be worse: They could be asking us to vote for Alan Keyes. There's another guy who couldn't get elected to the Senate as a Republican from Maryland. So he "moved to Illinois" to take the place of a candidate who had to drop off the ballot due to a sex scandal. Refresh my memory: Which party is the party of sex scandals and immorality? And this guy, his wife was Jeri Ryan. The Borg character Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager. Was she not hot enough for him? So Keyes, who'd never lived in Illinois before, ran for the seat, and he was probably the only man in the country who thought he had a chance. And he got clobbered. That was in 2004. The Democrat who beat him was Barack Obama.

Frankly, I'm surprisin the Republicans aren't complaining that Obama's golf swing is... LEFT-handed.

Then again, they dropped that particular ball once before. In 1993, in his first year as President, Bill Clinton, noted liberal and non-inhaling marijuana smoker, threw out the first pitch on Opening Day in Baltimore. I must have been the only person in America who noticed the pitch was high... and to the left. At least he knocked the recession he inherited out of the park.

If the Republicans were a sports team, they'd be the 2007 Mets. Or the 2007-08 Patriots. Or the 2010 Bruins.

They wouldn't be the 2004 Yankees. That would be the 2000 Democrats, victims of cheating.

*

Portugal 7, North Korea 0. If only one of the Portuguese scorers hadn't been Cristiano Ronaldo. A.k.a. "Fake Ronaldo" (as opposed to Ronaldo, the once-great fat, bald Brazilian superstar), "Crissy" and "Purseboy."

Rumor has it that he's now dating Kim Kardashian. If true, I don't blame him. But I think he's only after one thing.

Not her body, amazing as that is.

Not her money, he's got plenty of that.

What's Crissy after with Kim? Her hair care products.

Who knows, he may also be interested in the DASH stores that her sisters Khloe and Kourteney are running.

Clothing stores. Women's clothing stores.

Like we say here in the New York Tri-State Area: I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

And if Ronaldo doesn't want anyone to be just sayin', then he should concentrate more on his game, less on his hair, and stop diving. Don't we get enough of that in North America with Sidney Crosby?

England are in disarray. France are worse off. Italy aren't setting the world on fire, either. Spain need a win this afternoon. We could, conceivably, have a World Cup knockout stage with none of them.

But it's good that underdogs have had their days. Maybe there will be more.

*

Again, I'm adjusting the A-Rod portions of the countdowns due to his recent injury, which seems to be clearing up.

Hours until the U.S.' last Group Stage game at the World Cup, against Algeria: 46. If we win, we advance to the knockout stage, the Round of 16. If we only get a draw, then it comes down to the England-Slovenia game, being played at the same time (so as not to influence the result of either game). If we draw and Slovenia win, those are the countries that advance. If we draw and England win, England and Slovenia are in and we're out. If we and England both draw, then tiebreakers fall into place, and I don't know. But if we do advance...

Days until the U.S. team's knockout round game: 6, a little under a week. Probably still going to be against Germany.

Days until the World Cup Final: 20. 3 weeks.

Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 600th career home run: 35 (estimated).

Days until the next Yankees-Red Sox series: 46, starting Friday night, August 6, at Yankee Stadium II.

Days until the new English Premier League season starts: 54. Under 7 weeks.

Days until the first football game at the new Meadowlands Stadium (still unnamed): 56. 8 weeks.

Days until Rutgers plays football again: 75. Under 11 weeks.

Days until the first regular-season Giants game at the new Meadowlands Stadium: 83. 12 weeks.

Days until the first regular-season Jets game at the new Meadowlands Stadium: 84.

Days until East Brunswick High School plays football again: 94, at Monroe. The schedule has been released, and this is the way the NFL does it: Two big contenders open the season, in this case the defending Central Jersey Group IV Champions (EB) against the defending Central Jersey Group III Champions (Monroe). EB was the only team to defeat Monroe last season, in one of the best regular-season games you'll ever see. But Monroe will be, uh, loaded for Bear, and it'll be at their place, and we lost a LOT of players to graduation. This may not be "real revenge," but it'll sure feel good for Monroe.

Days until the Devils play another local rival: 110 (estimated, 2010-11 schedule still not released).

Days until Rutgers and Army play the first college football game at the new Meadowlands Stadium: 117. Under 4 months.

Days until the next East Brunswick-Old Bridge Thanksgiving clash: 157.

Days until Derek Jeter collects his 3,000th career hit: 332 (estimated). About 11 months.

Days until the Rutgers-Army football game at Yankee Stadium: 509.

Days until the last Nets game in New Jersey: 664 (estimated).

Days until the 2012 Olympics begin in London: 752.

Days until Alex Rodriguez collects his 3,000th career hit: 850 (estimated).

Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 700th career home run: 1,113 (estimated).

Days until Super Bowl XLVIII at the Meadowlands: 1,322.

Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 756th career home run to surpass all-time leader Hank Aaron: 1,776 (estimated).

Days until Alex Rodriguez hits his 763rd career home run to become as close to a "real" all-time leader as we are likely to have: 1,800 (estimated).

No comments: