Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Sox Hit Cervelli. Yanks Win. Neither Is an Accident.

So the Yankees went into Scumway Park tonight, needing to send a message to the goddamned lying cheating bastard New England Scum.

Am I being too rough on the Red Sox? No. For reasons that were repeated again tonight.

Eric Chavez singled home Robinson Cano in the top of the 2nd, to make it Good Guys 1, Scum 0. In the bottom of the 2nd, CC Sabathia struck out that big fat lying cheating bastard David "Too Big To Suspend" Ortiz. The Sox put CC in a minor jam, but he pitched out of it. They put him in another jam in the bottom of the 3rd, but again he struck out Oritz, this time to end the threat.

In the top of the 4th, Cano hit his 36th double of the season, to score Curtis Granderson. 2-0 to the Good Guys. Nick Swisher walked. Chavez singled Cano home again. 3-0 to the Good Guys. Sox starter John Lackey was on the ropes.

In the bottom of the 4th, Carl Crawford homered for the Sox to make it 3-1. Jarrod Saltalamacchia and Darnell McDonald hit back-to-back singles, then CC fanned Jacoby Ellsbury, but Marco Scutaro doubled home Saltalamacchia -- but McDonald couldn't score. 3-2 Yankees. CC then struck out the dangerous Adrian Gonzalez to end the inning and hold the lead.

Top of the 5th. Francisco Cervelli, backup catcher, hit one over the Green Monster. Just his 2nd homer of the season, but easily the biggest (if not necessarily the longest) of his career. 4-2 to the Pinstripes. Cervelli hit a home run: Remember this for later.

CC got in trouble again in the bottom of the 5th. He stuck out Dustin Pedroia, but the big fat lying cheating bastard got a hit. Then Jed Lowrie doubled to left, but the combination of the nice close left-field wall and Ortiz being a big fat bastard (as well as a lying, cheating one) -- no, not just like Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey, as far as I know Christie has never cheated -- meant that Ortiz couldn't score. CC then got Crawford to line out to Cano, and he struck out Saltalamacchia. Threat over. Yankees still lead.

Remember Cervelli's home run? On the first pitch of the top of the 7th -- the first pitch -- Lackey hit Cervelli with a 91 MPH fastball.

You're goddamned right it was on purpose! Cervelli yelled at Lackey. The Yankee bench, led by CC, yelled as well. Did home plate umpire Ed Rapuano (who used to be okay with me) throw Lackey out of the game for yet another Boston purpose pitch? Is the Pope Buddhist?

No. Instead, 3rd base umpire Mark Wegner threw a Yankee out of the game, pitching coach Larry Rothschild.
Afterward, the normally soft-spoken Rothschild, better known as the first-ever manager of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, said:

Obviously a difference of opinion. I thought Lackey threw at him. Ed didn't, and I respect his opinion. He's a good umpire. I've known him a long time.

Difference of opinion. Not really, more like a difference in boss. Rothschild, being a Yankee coach, gets paid by Hank and Hal Steinbrenner. Rapuano, being a Major League Baseball umpire, gets paid by Commissioner Bud Selig, who has a monetary interest in the Red Sox winning.

Did I just call Rapuano corrupt? He kept in the game the pitcher who threw the obvious purpose pitch, and allowed to be thrown out of the game a coach from the aggrieved team. I'm not saying Rapuano, the crew chief who could have overruled Wenger's running of Rothschild, is usually corrupt. I am saying, however, that an idiot would call the choice of who to toss and who not to toss "fair."

Brett Gardner singled Cervelli to 3rd. Derek Jeter grounded into a double play, which scored Cervelli. 5-2 Yankees.

Nice job, Red Sox, you dumb fucks. You had a 2-run deficit, and because you had to be cheating bastards, you made it a 3-run deficit -- no longer, as Yankee broadcaster John Sterling would say, "a bloop and a blast." Or a walk and a wallop.

Bottom of the 7th. Joe Girardi brings Cory Wade on in relief of CC. He gets Pedroia to fly out, but walks Big Cheati. Then Lowrie singles.

Get him out of there, Joe!

Joe got him out of there, and replaced him with...

Boone Logan?!? Seriously, Joe, are you trying to kill me and the season?

Crawford singled -- thank God it was to left, with the Wall keeping the bases loaded and no runs scoring.

Boone Logan again, I can't look...

Logan struck out Saltalamacchia and McDonald to end the threat. That's 2 really big outings for him against The Scum at Fenway this season.

Afterward, Logan said:

That was probably the most excited I've gotten all year after an outing. I'm not usually pumping my fist after I get out of situations like that. But tonight I left it all out there and had a good feeling I was going to get these guys.

Good man. Not always a good pitcher, but a good man.

Rafael Soriano walked Ellsbury to start the bottom of the 8th, but got the next 3 batters out. On came Mariano Rivera, just 9 saves short of becoming the all-time leader...

And that fucking Ortiz doubled down the right-field line! No, Mo, No!

Easy does it, "Crazy Mike." Mo struck out Lowrie. He got Crawford to pop up.

And then... he hit Saltalamacchia!

Look, I'm in favor of The Scum getting a taste of their own medicine, but that brings the tying run to the plate! At Fenway Fucking Park! Mo, what in the name of Sparky Lyle are you doing?!?

He got Josh Reddick to line out to left to end it.


Ballgame over! Yankees win! Theeeeeeeeeeee Yankees win!

5-2! We beat The Scum, 5-2! We beat The Scum, 5-2! We beat The Scum, 5-2!

WP: Sabathia (18-7). SV: Rivera (35). LP: Lackey (12-10).

And now we're just a half-game behind them, dead-even in the All-Important Loss Column.

Ladies and gentlemen, what we got here is a good old-fashioned Pennant Race. Bring it the fuck on!


Jeter hits 3059 DONE
Rivera saves 594 8
A-Rod homers 627 136
A-Rod hits 2765 235
Magic Number 29 (to eliminate Scum, 20 for Rays, 13 for Jays, 2 for O's)


Anonymous said...

......I wasnt aware an intentional HBP was cheating.
Of course, when the Yankees hit someone on purpose, its strategic and a perfectly acceptable play.

You are a dumbass. Calm down. Yeah i hate the yankees with a burning passion, but you need to take some Prozac or somethin.

Talk all the shit you want after you come out of this series up by .5 a game.

And Papi is a cheater? Right just like Giambi and Pettite and Clemens and A-rod.


Uncle Mike said...

No, Phil, you moronic cunt, when the Yankees hit someone on purpose, it's self-defense. You bastards have been doing this since the Seventies, and it's time for this bullshit to stop.

As for the cheating, you stupid motherfucker, Pettitte is NOT a cheater. Clemens? No proof has ever come forward. Giambi did, but he never won a title as a result of it, and unlike that lying bastard Ortiz, he told the truth about it. So did A-Rod, and the only proof about him is that he did it in Texas -- not as a Yankee.

Contrast that with the Red Sox: The two biggest reasons they won 2 World Series were steroid cheater David Ortiz and steroid cheater Manny Ramirez -- both did it, both lied about it, both got caught.

I'd tell you to go hell, but that would be redundant, prick.