Just When You Think You've Turned the Corner

Cliche Alert: Every now and then, in his capacity as press secretary for Yankee manager and general manager Brian Cashman, Aaron Boone tells the media he thinks the Yankees "have turned the corner."

This 4-game weekend set at Fenway Park could have been a turn-the-corner series for the Yankees. Instead, in last night's game alone, they turned so many corners, they're right back where they started: At the corner of Hopeless & Useless.

Jordan Montgomery started. He was the 1st Yankee pitcher to get no run support at all in 5 straight starts. For a while, it looked like they would make it 6. The game was scoreless for the 1st 3 innings. But Tanner Houck walked Brett Gardner and Giancarlo Stanton to start the top of the 4th. A passed ball moved the runners over, and Gleyber Torres got Gardner home on a groundout. 1-0 Yankees.

Despite a rain delay in the 5th inning, Montgomery was sent back out, and got into the 6th inning with a 3-hit, 1-walk shutout. The newly-acquired Sal Romano finished the 6th, keeping it 1-0 Yankees.

Then Boone -- on Cashman's orders? -- started screwing up the bullpen. Romano got the 1st out in the bottom of the 7th, and, having thrown only 13 pitches, was removed for Lucas Luetge. He immediately allowed single, single, fielder's choice, sacrifice fly. Tie game.

The Yankees struck back in the top of the 8th, against former Yankee Adam Ottavino. DJ LeMahieu led off with a walk, and stole 2nd. Gardner walked. If Stanton had hit a home run here, Yankee Fans wouldn't have needed sex for a month. He hit an ordinary single, and it scored LeMahieu. Rougned Odor bunted the runners over, and Torres hit a sac fly to get Gardner home. 3-1 Yankees.

Luis Cessa needed only 5 pitches to get 3 outs. Clearly, the right thing to do would have been to leave him in for the bottom of the 10th. But Boone didn't do that. He brought in Chad Green, who started the inning with a strikeout, and then allowed single, single, lineout, double. 3-3.

Extra innings. Ghost runner. LeMahieu's groundout moved Tyler Wade over to 3rd, and Gardner's sac fly got him home. 4-3 Yankees.

Boone didn't trust Green to pitch the bottom of the 10th. Understandable. Nor Aroldis Chapman. Also understandable, due more to Chapman having pitched the last 2 nights than to the fear of what he might do with a 1-run lead at the little green pinball machine in the Back Bay.

Instead, Boone brought in Brooks Kriske. The day before, Kriske had gotten his 1st major league win. Now, he was going for his 1st major league save.

He ended up being a completely different pitcher. And the completely different pitcher he was, was Rick Ankiel. The Sox had their 2 best hitters up first, Xander Bogaerts and J.D. Martinez. With Rafael Devers starting the inning on 2nd base, Kriske threw 2 wild pitches, getting Devers around and tying the game. Then he walked Bogaerts. Then he threw 2 more wild pitches, getting Bogaerts to 3rd, before striking Martinez out. But a long fly ball by Hunter Renfroe was deep enough to get Bogaerts home.

A walk and four wild pitches in the 10th inning. (I usually to prefer to write numbers using their numerals instead of their words. This time, I thought it better to spell the word "four" out.) It was a collapse worth of the 1986 Red Sox. Except, this time, the New York team gave the game to the Red Sox in such fashion.

WP: Matt Barnes (5-2). No save. LP: Kriske (1-1).

With this ignominious defeat, the Yankees fall to 8 games behind the Sox in the American League Eastern Division, 4 1/2 out of the 2nd AL Wild Card slot. There are 67 games left.

The series continues tonight. Gerrit Cole starts against Eduardo Rodriguez, and if the Yankees can't win this game with Cole on the mound, the season is effectively over.

If, that is, you hadn't already considered it to be so.

New Blood Means Yanks Sweep Phils, Head to Fenway

In between series against the hated Boston Red Sox -- the one this past weekend at Yankee Stadium II, and the 1 starting tonight at Fenway Park -- the Yankees squeezed in a 2-game home Interleague series with the Philadelphia Phillies.

Domingo Germán started the Tuesday night game, and only went 4 innings, allowing 2 runs. But, between them, Luis Cessa, Lucas Luetge and Chad Green pitched 3 scoreless innings.

In the bottom of the 3rd, it was the new call-ups that led the way for the Yankees. In the bottom of the 3rd, Greg Allen led off with a triple, and came home on a ground.by Estevan Florial. That tied the game at 1-1.

In the bottom of the 5th, trailing 2-1, Allen led off with a walk, stole 2nd, and went to 3rd on a groundout by Florial. Tyler Wade hit a line shot that former Yankee Didi Gregorius couldn't handle, scoring Allen. Then, with no one left on base, Brett Gardner hit a home run. It was 3-2 Yankees.

Gary Sánchez led off the bottom of the 6th with a home run, to make it 4-2. The Phillies added a run in the top of the 8th, but on either side of that, Giancarlo Stanton hit the 328th home run of his career, and Florial hit the 1st of his. 

It was once again time to trust Aroldis Chapman with a save situation, and after striking out the dangerous Bryce Harper, he gave up a long home run to Andrew McCutchen, his 259th. But he was unhittable after that, blowing away first Rhys Hoskins, who had homered earlier, then Didi to end it.

Yankees 6, Phillies 4. WP: Cessa (3-1). SV: Chapman (17). LP: Aaron Nolan (6-6).

*

And then, last night, Asher Wojciechowski made his Yankee debut. The 32-year-old righthander from South Carolina had shown little in the major leagues to this point, and he didn't show the Yankees much, going just 4 innings and allowing 2 runs, including a home run to Jean Segura to lead off the game. Albert Abreu pitched a perfect 5th and a scoreless 6th, and Justin Wilson a perfect 7th, perhaps his best performance since joining the Yankees.

With 2 outs in the bottom of the 4th, Gleyber Torres, who could really have used a home run, hit one. Gardner singled, and Allen doubled him home to tie the game. With 1 out in the bottom of the 7th, Florial singled and stole 2nd. Following a strikeout by DJ LeMahieu, Stanton singled him home -- for him, a rare clutch hit, and an even rarer clutch hit other than a home run. But if it was a home run you wanted, Rougned Odor then hit one. 5-2 Yankees.

Zack Britton came in to pitch the 8th, and Torres went from hero to goat (not "GOAT," children), letting a ground ball through his legs to start the inning with an error. That may have unnerved Britton, as he allowed walk, groundout, walk. Aaron Boone panicked, and brought in Nick Nelson.

Rick Nelson would have been a better choice, and he's been dead since 1985. His 1st hit was a cover of Fats Domino's "I'm Walkin'," and Nick allowed RBI single, walk, and run-scoring, game-tying wild pitch, before settling down and getting out of the jam, the poor little fool.

Chapman teased us in the 9th again, walking the leadoff man, before getting a flyout, a caught stealing, and a strikeout. The Yankees set themselves up well in the bottom of the 9th, but the Phillies got out of it with some good fielding. Brooks Kriskie, not very effective in his Yankee call-ups thus far, pitched a 1-2-3 top of the 10th, stranding the ghost runner.

The Yankees started the bottom of the 10th with Sánchez on 2nd base -- not great speed, reduced further by the fact that he'd taken a beating with bad pitches and foul tips all game long. But Torres made up for his earlier error with a fantastic bunt, and rookie Ryan LaMarre hit a long drive that would have been at least a double, but since the winning run scored, he stopped at 1st.

And his teammates tore his jersey open. No T-shirt underneath, and, as Yankee broadcaster Michael Kay pointed out, to any Houston Astros fans who might have been paying attention, "No buzzer!"

Yankees 6, Phillies 5. WP: Kriske (1-0, his 1st major league win). No save. LP: Ranger Suarez (4-3 -- and far from the 1st time that I could have said, "Rangers suck!").

*

So, tonight, 7 games behind the Red Sox in the American League Eastern Division, and 3 1/2 games in back of the 2nd AL Wild Card slot, the Yankees go up to face the Auld Enemy. To Fenway Park. As Obi-Wan Kenobi would say, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." Here are the projected pitching matchups:

* Tonight, 7:10 on YES: Jordan Montgomery vs. Tanner Houck.

* Tomorrow, 7:10 on WPIX-Channel 11: Gerrit Cole vs. Eduardo Rodriguez.

* Saturday, 4:05 on Fox Sports 1: Jameson Taillon vs. Nathan Eovaldi.

* Sunday, 1:10 on YES: Domingo German vs. Martin Perez.

Come on you Bombers!

We Gotta Get Out of Last Place

Before this 2-game home series with the Atlanta Braves began, I was willing to accept a split.

But after winning the 1st game, the way the 2nd game worked out feels rotten. The words "damp squib" come to mind.

Corey Kluber started for the Yankees, and, for the 1st 4 innings, he looked pretty good, allowing just 1 hit and 1 walk. But he fell apart in the 5th, allowing single, strikeout, walk, walk, sacrifice fly, walk to load the bases. Cliche Alert: Walks can kill you.

Then Aaron Boone brought Nick Nelson in to relieve. Why would you ever bring Nick Nelson in to relieve? He walked the next batter, forcing home a 2nd run, before getting a strikeout to end the inning.

The good news: Aaron Boone did something I was hoping he'd do: He shook up the batting order. The bad news: It wasn't in the way I'd hoped. He moved Aaron Hicks from 3rd to 7th. But he moved Giancarlo Stanton from 4th to 3rd, and Gio Urshela from 6th to 4th.

I understand punishing Hicks and rewarding Urshela. But why would you reward Stanton?

The Yankees went down 1-2-3 in the 1st, stranded men on 1st and 2nd in the 2nd, stranded a man on 1st in the 3rd, wasted a leadoff single by Urshela in the 4th, went down 1-2-3 in the 5th, and wasted a leadoff single by Judge in the 6th.

Nelson got the Braves out 1-2-3 in the 6th, and Boone brought Luis Cessa in to pitch the 7th. Why does Boone hate me? What followed was single, error, sacrifice bunt, intentional walk to load the bases, unsuccessful double play that got a run home, groundout.

Frankly, I was impressed that Cessa got out of that inning having allowed only 1 run. And I was really impressed that he pitched a 1-2-3 8th. But that 3-0 lead looked completely insurmountable -- by this Yankee lineup.

Gleyber Torres led off the bottom of the 7th with an "excuse-me check swing" that dropped the ball right in front of the plate, weaker than a bunt would have been. And he seemed to just stand there, like Kenny Dalglish after the Michael Thomas goal, before finally jogging down to 1st base, and being thrown out by Braves catcher Travis d'Arnaud (a former Met).

Somebody on Twitter wrote, "Run Gleyber what the actual fuck?" An actual fuck is something Gleyber appears unable to give. He is philosophically impotent.

Judge led off the bottom of the 8th with a walk. In the kind of event that proves John Sterling wrong whenever he tells Suzyn Waldman, "You know, Suzyn, you just can't predict baseball," Stanton was completely predictable: He struck out. Stanton is now 3-for-his-last-34. That's an .088 batting average. The guy Cashman traded away to get him? Starlin Castro is currently batting .281. Judge ended up stranded.

Boone brought Brooks Kriske in to pitch the top of the 9th. He must have figured the game was already lost, so let's give a guy who can't pitch some work. Kriske gave up a leadoff home run to Austin Riley, and it was 4-0 Braves. Then Kriske walked the next 2 batters. But he got out of it without further damage.

The 1st pitcher the Braves used was Ian Anderson, not to be confused with the lead singer of Jethro Tull. The last pitcher they used was Will Smith, not to be confused with the Fresh Prince.

An appropriate chant to use on a pitcher named Will Smith might have been, "Who's your Daddy?" Instead, there was a chant of "Derek Jeter!" A reminder that the Yankees once had hitters who could been part of the erasing of a 4-run 9th-inning deficit.

Instead, Mike Ford flew to center. Hicks drew a walk. Gary Sanchez struck out. With Clint Frazier up, Hicks took 2nd on defensive indifference. Frazier singled him home. In 17 games, this was the Yankees' 1st 9th inning run of the season. They also came into the game, and left it, having not scored a run in the 1st inning.

DJ LeMahieu flew out to short left, and that was it. Braves 4, Yankees 1. WP: Anderson (1-0). No save. LP: Kluber (0-2).

*

I realize it's a different sport, but Bill Parcells says, "You are what your record says you are."

The Yankees are 6-11. That's .352. That's 57-105 over a full season. Right now, the Yankees are a .352 team. They are in last place in the American League Eastern Division, 5 games behind the hated Boston Red Sox. Only the Minnesota Twins (also 6-11) and the Colorado Rockies (6-12) are in as bad a shape as the Yankees at the moment.

On Twitter, in a question having nothing openly to do with baseball, music publicist Eric Alper asked, "What song describes what you're feeling right now?" I told him, "I'm watching this year's Yankees, so... " and posted a video of The Animals singing "We Gotta Get Out of This Place."

The song was written by the husband & wife team of Barry Mann & Cynthia Weil, and they first offered it to The Righteous Brothers, who turned it down. The Animals, out of Newcastle in the North-East of England, recorded it, and it was a big hit in 1965. Along with "Paint It, Black" by The Rolling Stones and "Fortunate Son" by Creedence Clearwater Revival, it's one of the songs that has to be in every movie about the Vietnam War.

The Yankees now go on a roadtrip: 4 games against the Cleveland Indians, 4 games against the Baltimore Orioles.

"We Gotta Get Out of This Place"? Yeah, last place. Maybe that many days away from New York will be just what the doctor ordered.

Which doctor? The Witch Doctor? Jekyll? Frankenstein? Strangelove? Moreau? Scholl? Martens? John the Night Tripper? Joyce Brothers? Laura Schlessinger? Ben Carson? Bruce Banner? Frank Burns? Gregory House? Doogie Howser? Who knows.

Right now, the Yankees are reminding me of one of the classic jokes:

Patient: "Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I do this!"

Doctor: "So don't do that!"

Or, how about this one:

Doctor: "You need surgery."

Patient: "I want a second opinion."

Doctor: "Okay: The Yankees stink."

(Originally, it was, "Okay: You're ugly, too.")