I Hope the World Cup Is a Disaster for Qatar

Lusail Iconic Stadium, site of the Final, December 18

The World Cup starts tomorrow. It's in the Middle East nation of Qatar (pronounced like, "Welcome Back, Kotter"), the smallest country (by both area and population, 2.8 million) ever to host it, and they got it the same way Russia got the last World Cup, by bribing the voters.

The use of migrant workers as slaves in building the stadiums, so that 6,500 of them died in the process. Their bigotry toward women, gays, and Jews -- can you imagine if Israel had qualified? Now, they've done the one thing that fans from America, England, almost certainly Germany, and several other countries will not forgive: They've decided not to sell beer in the stadiums.

They say that the world has to respect their culture.

There's a story that I hope is true, but is probably apocryphal. When Nazi Germany prepared to host the 1936 Olympics, signs were put in at the restrooms in the Olympiastadion in Berlin, saying, "Dogs and Jews are not allowed."

The International Olympic Committee when to Adolf Hitler himself, and told him that the signs must come down. He said that they wouldn't put up with anyone telling them how to decorate their houses, so how dare they tell him?

They told him, "Mr. Chancellor, when that five-ringed flag goes up over the stadium, it is no longer Germany. It is Olympia. And we are the masters there."

The signs came down.

I hope the games at this World Cup are exciting. And I hope a country I like wins it. America? Not a chance. But I'd love it if Brazil, France or the Netherlands win. There are a few other countries I would be fine with winning it. Not England: They haven't shut up about 1966, and they'd never shut up about this.

But I hope that this tournament is a disaster for the government of the State of Qatar. I hope they lose so much money on this tournament that they call their Uncle Sammy for help, and Joe Biden answers the phone, and says, "Look, here's the deal: You fellas, God love ya, ya got into this mess with your own malarkey, and you can get yourselves out. Like my Dad always said: When ya get knocked down, get up!"

And then they can call Vladimir Putin, and he'll say, "Novy telefon, who dis?" And then they can call their friend Mohammed bin Salman in Saudi Arabia, and he'll say, "Meet me in the embassy." And they'll say, "Oh, shit, we're dead."

Like those 6,500 slaves.

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Hours until the next Rutgers University football game: 7, this afternoon at 3:30, home to Penn State. It is unlikely that we will beat The Scum. But as the great English soccer player, and not-so-great manager, Kevin Keegan, would say, "I would loove it if we beat them, loove it!"

Days until the next game of the U.S. National Soccer Team: 2, in the World Cup, on Monday, at 2:00 PM New York time, against Wales, at the Ahmad bin Ali Stadium in Al Rayyan, Qatar.

Days until the New Jersey Devils again play a local rival: 9, a week from this Monday, at 7:00 PM, away to the New York Rangers.

Days until the next Arsenal match: 37, on Monday, December 26, the day after Christmas, known in Britain as Boxing Day, at 3:00 PM New York time, at home at the Emirates Stadium, a Premier League match against East London team West Ham United. The long wait is due to the world's soccer leagues pausing for the World Cup.

Days until the next North London Derby: 56, on Saturday, January 14, 2023, at 10:00 AM New York time, at the new Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Most likely, this game will be rescheduled, to another time of day, and possibly to another day, most likely the next day, to fit the whims of the TV networks. Either way, it will be just 8 weeks -- unless Arsenal get drawn against Spurs in one of the domestic cups, which could postpone this match.

Days until the next New York Red Bulls game: Unknown. The opening game of the 2023 season will be on Saturday, February 25, but that's not necessarily when the Red Bulls will have their season debut. It could be that day, or the next day, or even the next weekend. If it is on February 25, that's 98 days. So, under 4 months.

Days until the Red Bulls again play a nearby rival: Unknown. Usually, the opening game is not against either New York City FC, the Philadelphia Union, D.C. United or the New England Revolution. So we're probably looking at, at the least, 1 more week, which would be a minimum of 105 days.

Days until the Yankees' next series against the Boston Red Sox begins: 202, on Friday, June 9, 2023, at Yankee Stadium II. Under 7 months.

Days until the next Women's World Cup opens: 233, on Friday, July 10, 2023, jointly held in the neighboring nations of Australia and New Zealand. Under 8 months.

Days until the next East Brunswick High School football game: Unknown, since we won't know the 2023 schedule for months. It could be as soon as Friday, September 1, which would be 286 days. Under 10 months.

Days until the next East Brunswick-Old Bridge game: Also unknown. It could be the season opener. At least, after this year's game was at the purple shit pit on Route 9, next year's game will be at home.

Hours until the next Rutgers-Penn State football game after this one: 364, on Saturday, November 18, 2023, at a time to be determined, at Beaver Stadium in State College, Pennsylvania. Exactly 1 year.

Days until the next Summer Olympic Games: 615, on Friday, July 26, 2024, in Paris, France. Under 2 years, or a little over 20 months.

Days until the next Presidential election: 717, on Tuesday, November 5, 2024. Under 2 years, or under 24 months.

Days until the next elections for Governor of New Jersey and Mayor of New York City: 1,081, on Tuesday, November 4, 2025. Under 3 years.

Days until the next Winter Olympics open in Milan, Italy: 1,175, on Friday, February 6, 2026. A little over 3 years.