Saturday, July 20, 2013

A Most Unwelcome Start to the 2nd Half

The Yankees began the second half of the season against The Scum, at Scumway Park in Scummore Square in Scumton, Scummachusetts.

A message needed to be sent to The Scum: Enough is enough, we have had it with these motherscumming snakes in this motherscumming season.

Unfortunately, the message needed to be sent to the Yankee hitters, before they could send it to the Scum pitchers.  Clearly, it wasn't.

Do I sound a little bitter? I meant to sound VERY bitter.

Mike Napoli and Jonny Gomes (that's GOAMS, not GOH-mez) hit home runs off Andy Pettitte.  And the Yankee bats didn't back him up.  A walk by Vernon Wells in the 2nd.  A walk by Brett Gardner, a stolen base by him, and another attempt resulting in a throwing error that allowed him to score in the 4th.  Doubles by Lyle Overbay and Chris Stewart in the 5th.  A single by Wells in the 6th.   walk by Brent Lillibridge in the 7th.  A single by Ichiro Suzuki in the 8th, followed by a double by Robinson Cano -- but, at Fenway, with Ichiro no longer the speedster he was, he couldn't score.

And that was it.  Red Sox 4, Yankees 2.  WP: Felix Doubront (7-3).  SV: Koji Uehara (9).  LP: Pettitte (7-7).

To make matters worse, The Scum were wearing their hideous bright red jerseys.  And David Ortiz, got 2 hits off us, although neither resulted in a run.  Seriously, why is this big fat lying cheating bastard still allowed to play Major League Baseball? They know he cheated, they know he lied about it, and yet they're going to suspend Alex Rodriguez for (fill in the blank, you #ITK dipsticks: 50 games, 100, 150, life), when they've got no proof he cheated (this time)?

To make matters worse still, both Derek Jeter and rookie sensation Zoilo Almonte have gone on the Disabled List.

Well, all this misery these last 2 months will make it all the sweeter Halloween week, when we go up the Canyon of Heroes, because no one now thinks we can do that.  But we will.

The 2nd game of the series is scheduled to begin in a few minutes, but is being delayed by rain.  The intended starting pitchers are Hiroki Kuroda for the Good Guys, and John Lackey for The Scum.

Come on you Bombers!

We need some bombing, as we haven't gotten lately.  We need to do what the Yankees have done so often in the past: Turn Fenway Park into a little green pinball machine!

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