You Don't Leave 15 Men On Base at Fenway

There are certain things you just... don't... do.

With apologies to fans of the late Jim Croce...

You don't tug on Superman's cape.

You don't spit into the wind.

You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger.

And you don't leave 15 men on base at Fenway Park.

The leadoff man in the 1st. Men on first and second in the 2nd, and again in the 3rd. Man on third in the 4th. Man on second in the 5th, and again in the 7th. Man on third in the 8th. In the 9th, the Yankees had the bases loaded with no one out, then came a double play, still man on third with two out, and no runs scored. Man on third in the 10th. The leadoff man in the 11th, becoming man on second with one out. None of the aforementioned scored.

And there's one other thing you just don't do, especially if your name is Joe and you manage the New York Yankees.

You don't bring Mariano Rivera in until the 9th. Never, ever in the 8th.

Once again, the way to beat Mariano is to hope and pray the Yankee manager has a major case of brain lock, and brings him in at any time in the 8th, and then hit one up the middle on him in the 9th. The 2001 World Series, the 2004 ALCS, and this isn't the first regular-season example of it, either. If Girardi brings in someone else for the 8th and Mo pitches the 9th, this doesn't happen, and the final score is Yanks 4, Red Sox 2.

"Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it." -- Georges Santayana.

I don't know if Santayana was a baseball fan -- coming from Spain, he probably wasn't -- but Girardi failed to learn from history, and he doomed the Pinstripes in what should have been a statement game for us. Red Sox 5, Yankees 4.

What really hurts is that Mariano burned the Fat Man -- who looked decidedly thinner in this post-steroid era, did you notice that? -- with a high fastball, very high, no smart hitter would have swung at it, for strike three to lead off the 9th. That was a great sign. And he got the second out. But then came that liner back up the middle, and then Jason Bay's drive that juuuuuuuust hit the top of the Green Monster and came down, to tie it up. As the old Yankee pitcher Lefty Gomez said, "I'd rather be lucky than good." Gomez was both, and, last night, so was Bay.

And then, in the top of the 10th, with a man on third and two outs, Mark Teixeira does the exact same thing that Ortiz did: Swing for strike three at a pitch way too high. Sometimes, you just know. I didn't just know when Bay hit that homer, but when Tex struck out on such a ridiculous pitch from that preening schmo Papelbon, I just knew the Yankees were going to lose. It was just a matter of when and how.

When was the bottom of the 11th. How was a home run from Kevin Youkilis. On a 2-2 count, no less.

I can't blame Damaso Marte, even though he's been awful so far this season. I blame Joe Girardi for bringing in Mo in the 8th. You just don't do that.

I don't like Youkilis. He's a whiny bastard. Which is probably why Red Sox fans love him, because they're whiny bastards too.

Yeah, I've been reading a lot of those British soccer blogs. At least I didn't use the words "cunt" or "twat." But then, Josh "Super Punk" Beckett pitches today, so be on the alert.

This time, we better not leave a platoon on base.

And did you notice? The Curse of Kay struck again. He named the Yankee bullpen, collectively, as Player of the Game as the bottom of the 9th started. And then...

I can't stand Michael Kay. Keep him for CenterStage on the YES Network, but let Ken Singleton and the various late-'90s Yankees (O'Neill, Cone, etc.) be the color commentators. Get rid of Kay!

At least the Rangers got their heads handed to them by the Washington Capitals last night. I still hate the fucking Rangers more than I hate the goddamned Red Sox. (Or is that the goddamned Rangers and the fucking Red Sox?)

Or do I? Yeah, for the moment, I do. After all, say what you want about Super Punk Beckett: At least he has talent, unlike Supreme Twat Sean Avery. Oops, I guess I used one of the British soccer blog words.