In Army of Darkness, released in 1992, the 3rd film in the Evil Dead franchise, Ash Williams (played by Bruce Campbell) gets thrown back in time, to the Middle Ages, and wastes 3 shotgun cartridges -- that he can't replace in that era -- to demonstrate his superiority to the people there, so they won't treat him as a witch to be executed. He starts a monologue by saying, "All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up!"
Last night, having already taken the 1st 2 games of a 3-game series away to the Toronto Blue Jays, stretching their winning streak to 11, the Yankees tried to complete the sweep. But, unlike Ash in the film, there would not be enough "boomstick."
Nestor Cortés started, and over the 1st 4 innings, he allowed 2 runs on 4 hits and 4 walks. It wasn't a terrible performance, but it was just off enough to put the Yankees in a hole. Michael King pitched the next 3 innings, and Clay Holmes the next 1. Neither allowed a single baserunner.
So, overall, the Yankees got pitching that was good enough to win the ballgame. But the hitting, which had been torrid for the last 2 weeks, finally gave out. Joey Gallo hit a home run to lead off the 3rd inning. But they wasted a leadoff single by DJ LeMahieu in the 1st, a leadoff walk by Aaron Judge in the 4th, a leadoff double by Kyle Higashioka in the 6th, and 2 walks with 1 out in the 7th.
It was 2-1 Jays with 2 out in the top of the 8th, when Judge came to bat with the bases empty. Home plate umpire Marty Foster called a strike 1 that was easily inside, and a strike 2 that was a little low. The 2nd strike wasn't a terrible call: Even Yankee broadcaster Michael Kay admitted that it "just clipped the outside corner." But it did reduce Judge's chance of hitting a game-tying home run, or at least getting on base to start a 2-out rally. And it came on a questionable called strike 3 on Judge in the 6th with Higashioka on 3rd and just 1 out.
Manager Aaron Boone came out of the dugout, and decided to make an example of Foster, to make him pay for the sins of every umpire who ever called a phony strike on Judge, of which there have been many. When you win the 1st 2 games of a road series against the team chasing you for 1st place, you can do that.
"He's six-fucking-seven!" Boone could be seen yelling, making the point that Judge's strike zone didn't have to be artificially made bigger. Foster yelled back, every bit as forcefully. (I wonder if he counts as a "primitive screwhead"?) When play resumed, Judge swung and missed a a pitch on the inside corner.
The Yankees did make a go of it in the 9th. Anthony Rizzo popped up to 2nd. Giancarlo Stanton singled to center. Tim Locastro was sent in to pinch-run for him. Josh Donaldson singled Locastro to 2nd. Aaron Hicks struck out. Gallo walked to load the bases. Marwin González was sent in to pinch-run for Gallo. Isiah Kiner-Falefa grounded to 3rd, but couldn't quite beat it out, as Vladimir Guerrero Jr. did a split that seemed to defy his chunky physique. Whoever was substituting as manager for the tossed Boone challenged the play, to no avail.
Blue Jays 2, Yankees 1. WP: Yusei Kikuchi (1-1). SV: Jordan Romano (12). LP: Cortes (1-1).
The crowd of 29,057 included some Yankee Fans. The Toronto fans celebrated winning a game in which they only got 4 hits after being embarrassed the previous 2 nights as if they had just won the Pennant.
All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up: The Yankees still have the best record in baseball, 18-7. You still trail them by 2 1/2 games, 3 in the all-important loss column. The road to winning the American League Eastern Division is the Major Deegan Expressway, not the Gardiner Expressway. In the immortal words of Nick Cannon, Sit yo' ass down!
The Yankees have today off, and open a 3-game home series with the Texas Rangers.
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