Monday, September 19, 2022

How to Go to the Rice-Houston Football Game

On Saturday, September 24, the football teams at the University of Houston and Rice University will play each other, at Houston's TDCEU Stadium. They are crosstown rivals.

Before You Go. Most Americans hear "bayou" and think "Louisiana." But Houston is known as, among other things, the Bayou City. It can get hot, it can get humid, and it gets a lot of rain. Why do you think the world's 1st indoor stadium designed for baseball and football was built there? This game will be played in a stadium without a roof, so the weather could be a factor.

The Houston Chronicle is predicting daytime temperatures in the mid-90s, and nighttime temperatures in the mid-70s. No rain is expected after the Monday of this week. Still, this is not going to be fun. Stay hydrated.

Houston is in the Central Time Zone, so you'll be an hour behind New York time. Although Texas is a former Confederate State, you will not need your passport, and you won't need to change your money.

Tickets. TDCEU Stadium seats 40,000, and the Cougars usually don't sell it out. Getting tickets shouldn't be hard. Midfield seats are $64, end seats are $48, end zone seats are $39, and upper deck seats are $36.

For Rice home games, reserved seating is $33.

Getting There. It's 1,665 miles from Times Square in New York to downtown Houston. You're probably thinking that you should be flying.

Flying nonstop to Houston George Bush Intercontinental Airport (That's named for the father, not the son) can be done for as little as $393. Considering how far it is, that is a bargain. Bus 102 will get you from the airport to downtown in an hour and 20 minutes.

There are 2 ways to get there by train. One is to change trains in Chicago, and then change to a bus in Longview, Texas. The other is to change trains twice, in Washington and New Orleans, and then stay overnight in New Orleans. No, I'm not making that up. You don't want that -- and don't be fooled by the fact that Houston's Union Station and the ballpark are next-door to each other, because Amtrak uses a different station a mile away, at 902 Washington Street. Round-trip fare is $478, and that could be more than by flying. Maybe we should just forget Amtrak, and move on.

Greyhound has 8 runs a day from Port Authority Bus Terminal to Houston, averaging 42 hours, and requiring you to change buses in Atlanta and New Orleans. It's $756 round-trip, but it can drop to $502 with advanced purchase -- in other words, flying could be less. The Houston Greyhound station is at 2121 Main Street, a mile from the arena.

If you actually think it's worth it to drive, get someone to go with you so you'll have someone to talk to and one of you can drive while the other sleeps. You'll be taking Interstate 78 across New Jersey and into Pennsylvania to Harrisburg, where you'll pick up Interstate 81 and take that through the narrow panhandles of Maryland and West Virginia, down the Appalachian spine of Virginia and into Tennessee, where you'll pick up Interstate 40, stay on that briefly until you reach Interstate 75, and take that until you reach Interstate 59, which will take you into Georgia briefly and then across Alabama and Mississippi, and into Louisiana, where you take Interstate 12 west outside New Orleans. Take that until you reach Interstate 10. Once in Texas, Exit 770 will get you to downtown Houston.

If you do it right, you should spend about an hour and a half in New Jersey, 3 hours in Pennsylvania, 15 minutes in Maryland, half an hour in West Virginia, 5 and a half hours in Virginia, 3 hours and 45 minutes in Tennessee, half an hour in Georgia, 4 hours in Alabama, 2 hours and 45 minutes in Mississippi, 4 hours and 30 minutes in Louisiana and 2 hours in Texas. Including rest stops, and accounting for traffic, we're talking about a 40-hour trip.

Even if you're only going for one game, no matter how you got there, get a hotel and spend a night. You'll be exhausted otherwise. Trust me, I know: Trains and buses are not good ways to get sleep.

Once In the City. Houston was founded in 1836 as Allen's Landing, and was renamed for Sam Houston, "the Father of Texas." It would take until December 29, 1845 for Texas to be admitted to the Union as the 28th State. It seceded from the Union on February 23, 1861, and was readmitted on March 30, 1870.

There are 2.3 million people in Houston proper, making it the 4th-largest in America, and 7.1 million in the metropolitan area, making it 8th. But with multiple teams, it's only the 10th-largest market in the NBA, and the 7th-largest in MLB and the NFL.

The weather in Houston is so bad! (How bad is it?) A "bayou" (BYE-yoo) is a body of water, typically found in a flat, low-lying area, and can be either an extremely slow-moving stream or river, often with a poorly-defined shoreline, or a marshy lake or wetland. And Houston is known as the Bayou City.

When people talk about "the bayou," they usually mean Louisiana. But Southeast Texas is also bayou country, and it frequently leaves Houston hot, humid and muggy. It's a breeding ground for mosquitoes. The Astrodome had to be built not just to promote Houston, or to protect people from the heat, but to protect them from the bugs. Sandy Koufax of the Los Angeles Dodgers said, "Some of those mosquitoes are twin-engine jobs."

Fortunately, just as there's an overhead walkway system in Minneapolis, and an "Underground City" in Montreal, in their cases to protect pedestrians from their cities' notoriously cold Winter, there is a "Houston Tunnel System," begun in the 1930s, and inspired by New York itself, by the system under Rockefeller Center. Regardless of how much this may help, remember to stay hydrated.

The sales tax in the State of Texas is 6.25 percent, but in the City of Houston it goes up to 8.25 percent. The city doesn't appear to have a "centerpoint," where the address numbers start at 1, but there is a Main Street, running northeast/southwest. ZIP Codes in the Houston area start with the digits 77. The Area Codes are 713, with 281, 346 and 832 as overlays.

Houston has not 1, not 2, but 3 beltways: Interstate 610, a.k.a. the Inner Loop; Beltway 8, a.k.a. the Sam Houston Tollway; and State Highway 99, a.k.a. the Grand Parkway.

Like most Texas cities now, Houston has a Hispanic plurality, if not yet a majority: 44 percent. It's about 26 percent white, 24 percent black, and 6 percent Asian. It's mostly white on the west side; mostly black on the south, northwest and northeast sides; and mostly Hispanic on the north, east and southeast sides.

Houston, and South Texas, have had some racial disturbances. On August 13, 1906, in Brownsville on the Rio Grande (the border between Texas and Mexico), a white bartender was killed and a Hispanic policeman was wounded by gunshots. The blame fell on a segregated unit of black soldiers at nearby Fort Brown.

Following a U.S. Army Inspector General's report, President Theodore Roosevelt, in his role as Commander-in-Chief, ordered dishonorable discharges for 167 of those soldiers, costing them pensions and the right to serve in federal service jobs. This is a blot on TR's record, and in 1972, President Richard Nixon pardoned them and rewrote their discharges as honorable.

There were 21 deaths in a riot in Houston on August 23, 1917, when members of the all-black 24th United States Infantry Regiment at Camp Logan fought back against the all-white Houston Police Department. After a series of courts-martial that could only have been a kangaroo court, there were 19 executions, and 41 soldiers were sentenced to life imprisonment.

There was a race riot in Beaumont, about 85 miles east of Houston, on June 15, 1943, with 3 deaths. On May 17, 1967, there was a riot on the campus of the historically-black Texas Southern University, leading to the death of a police officer and the arrests of 500 students. But once it was found that the officer had died from "friendly fire," the ricochet of a fellow officer's bullet, all charges against the students were dropped. And there was a race riot in the Moody Park neighborhood of north Houston on May 7, 1978, with no deaths.

There is a light rail system, called METRORail, but you probably won't need it to get from a downtown hotel to the arena. One zone is $1.25, and the price rises to $4.50 for 4 zones, so a daypass is a better bargain at $3.00.
Once On Campus. William Marsh Rice invested in the kind of things that built Houston: Land, real estate, lumber, railroads, cotton... and slaves. He outlived the abolition of slavery, reaching the age of 84, but was murdered by his valet in 1900, in the hopes of getting around Rice's will. It didn't work, and the William M. Rice Institute for the Advancement of Literature, Science and was founded in 1912, 3 1/2 miles southwest of downtown Houston. The name was changed to Rice University in 1962.
The school's emphasis on research has led to a 6:1 student-faculty ratio. It was long a member of the Southwest Conference, but struggled for much of that history, due to a low enrollment. (Not unlike a similar school that wears purple, Northwestern University outside Chicago.) It now belongs to Conference USA. Notable graduates include:

* Athletes, outside of football: Baseball players Jose Cruz Jr., Lance Berkman, Brock Holt and Anthony Rendon; and Fred Hansen, who won the Gold Medal in the pole vault at the 1964 Olympics in Tokyo.

* Business: Engineer, pilot, film producer and recluse Howard Hughes; and oil baron Fred Koch, father of the infamous Koch Brothers.

* Politics: Former U.S. Secretary of Energy Charles Duncan, former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, former Mayor Annise Parker of Houston, current Governor Glenn Youngkin of Virginia, and the current Commissioner of the Texas General Land Office, George P. Bush, son of Jeb, nephew of George W., and grandson of George H.W. -- and, sad to say, more conservative than any of them, and not appreciably smarter than his uncle.

* Literature: Larry McMurtry. Joyce Carol Oates and Candace Bushnell also attended, but did not get degrees.

Houston Junior College was founded by the city's Board of Education in 1927, and it became the University of Houston in 1934. The University of Houston system now includes the main campus, 3miles southeast of downtown; UH-Downtown; UH-Clear Lake, about 25 miles southeast of downtown, near Galveston Bay and the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center; and UH-Victoria, 123 miles to the southwest.
Notable sports-related graduates, outside of football, include:

* Baseball: John and Tom Paciorek, Larry Dierker, Doug Drabek, Anthony Young, Vaughn Eshelman and Garrett Mock.

* Basketball: Elvin Hayes and Don Chaney of the Final Four teams of 1967 and '68; Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde Drexler of the 1982, '83 and '84 "Phi Slama Jama" Final Four teams; Otis Birdsong and Bo Outlaw.

* Track & Field: Easily the school's best sport, and not just because it has their greatest athlete, one of the greatest athletes the world has ever known: Carl Lewis, Class of '85. Also his sister Carol Lewis, Leroy Burrell and his sister Dawn Burrell, and Olympic Gold Medalists Ollan Cassell and Joe DeLoach.

* Gymnastics: Shannon Miller.

* Sportscaster: Jim Nantz.

If you count golf as a sport (I don't), add Fuzzy Zoeller, Bruce Lietzke, Nick Faldo and Fred Couples.

Notable non-sports graduates include:

* Actors: Randy and Dennis Quaid, Loretta Devine, Cindy Pickett, Brent Spiner, Brett Cullen and Jim Parsons. Also, film director Julian Schnabel.

* Music: Country singers Kenny Rogers, Townes Van Zandt and Larry Gatlin; and opera singer Denyce Graves.

* Journalism: Tom Jarriel and Star Jones.

* Literature: Novelist Alice Sebold.

* Business: Cosmetics mogul Mary Kay Ash, and, unfortunately, Enron crook Kenneth Lay.

* Politics: There have been 4 former Mayors: Also federal Judge, Houston Astros founding owner and Astrodome builder Roy Hofheinz; his son, Fred Hofheinz; Mayor Sylvester Turner; and Kathy Whitmire. Also, former U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings, Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts, Representative Steve Stockman, and disgraced House Republican Whip Tom DeLay.

Going In. Public School Stadium was opened in 1942, and the University of Houston began playing home games there in 1946. In 1958, it was renamed Jeppesen Stadium, for Holger Jeppesen, a Board of Education member who had lobbied for its construction.

The Houston Oilers played at Jeppesen Stadium from 1960 to 1964. They won the 1960 AFL Championship Game there, won the 1961 title game on the road, and lost the 1962 title game there -- and, as the Oilers and the Tennessee Titans, haven't gone as far as the rules allowed them to since 1961.
In 1951, UH began groundsharing at Rice University's stadium. (More about that stadium in a moment.) They played at the Astrodome from 1965 to 1997, after which the University bought Jeppesen, renamed Robertson Stadium in 1980, for Corbin J. Robertson, a former member of the UH Board of Regents, who funded its renovation. From 2006 to 2011, it was the home of Major League Soccer's Houston Dynamo.

In 2012, the Dynamo moved to what's now named PNC Stadium, and the UH Cougars played one last season at Robertson. They played the 2013 season at what's now named NRG Stadium, as Robertson was torn down, and TDECU Stadium, named for the Texas Dow Employees Credit Union, opened on on August 29, 2014. The stadium is nicknamed "The Cage," and the playing surface is named John O'Quinn Field, for a UH graduate whose donations had helped modernize Robertson Stadium and paid part of the cost of building TDECU Stadium.
The address is 3874 Holman Street, at Cullen Blvd., 4 miles southeast of downtown. Number 52 bus. If you drive in, parking is $10. The XFL's Houston Roughnecks also play there. The field is artificial, and, unusually due to the path of the Sun, runs from east to west.

Rice Stadium opened in 1950, and the Owls have played here ever since. The Oilers played the 1965, '66 and '67 seasons here. Although probably already obsolete by the 1973 season, it seated a lot more people than did the Astrodome, and so Super Bowl VIII, the 1st Super Bowl played in Texas, was played there, and the Miami Dolphins won it -- and haven't won a Super Bowl since.
It has been significantly renovated, and now seats 47,000, down from the 71,882 that crammed in for the Super Bowl on January 13, 1974. 

University Blvd. at Greenbriar Street, although the mailing address is 6100 S. Main Street, 5 miles southwest of downtown. METRORail to Dryden/TMC, then walk or Number 084 bus. Parking is $10. The field runs north-to-south, and has had various artificial surfaces since 1970.
In spite of its renovations, a 2020 MoneyWise article ranked it 8th on a list of the Worst College Football Stadiums: "Its upper bowl, in particular, has been poorly maintained. Fans say upgrades are long overdue."

Few of the stadiums that have hosted Super Bowls are more famous for something else. Rice Stadium is one of them: On September 12, 1962, President John F. Kennedy came to deliver a speech about the Moon project, since it was near the Houston space center that would be named for his Vice President and successor as President, Lyndon Johnson, a Texan who was also on hand:

But why, some say, the Moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask, Why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas? 

We choose to go to the Moon. We choose to go to the Moon in this decade, and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills. 

Actually, while the University of Texas was already the standard for college football in the Lone Star State, from 1930 until 1961, Rice had gotten the better of Texas, 17-15. And that season's game between them would end in a tie. But in 1963, Texas won the 1st of 3 National Championships in the next 8 seasons. Since JFK made that speech, Rice has gone 2-45-1 vs. Texas, winning only in 1965 and 1994. Maybe this is the real "Kennedy Curse."

Food. Being a "Wild West" city, you might expect Houston's college football stadiums to have Western-themed stands with "real American food" at its stadium. Being a Southern State, you might also expect to have barbecue. And you would be right on both counts.

TDECU has a Chick-fil-A under Sections 125 and 309, Miss Patty's (seafood) under 126, Howdy Ice Cream under 129, Fuddruckers (I thought they were out of business) under 137, and "Cougar Eats" all around.

Rice Stadium also has Chick-fil-A stands, and Papa John's Pizza. So if you're a liberal, eat before the game and after it, not during.

Team History Displays. The Houston Cougars have won 11 Conference Championships: The Missouri Valley Conference in 1952, '56, '57 and '59; the Southwest Conference in 1976, '78, '79 and '84 under head coach Bill Yeoman, a statue of whom is outside the stadium; Conference USA in 1996 and 2006; and the American Athletic Conference in 2015. They have been accepted as members of the Big 12 Conference, and will officially join for the 2024-25 schoolyear.
As recently as 2018, they won the AAC's West Division, under head coach Major Applewhite, a former University of Texas quarterback who was once an assistant coach across town at Rice. The current head coach is Dana Holgorsen, formerly the head coach at West Virginia.

Houston won the Salad Bowl in 1951; the Tangerine Bowl in 1962; the Bluebonnet Bowl in Houston in 1969 and 1973; the Garden State Bowl at the Meadowlands in 1980; the Armed Forces Bowl in 2008 and 2014; the TicketCity Bowl in 2011; the Peach Bowl in 2015; the Birmingham Bowl in 2021; and, most importantly for a Texas-based team, the Cotton Bowl in 1976 and 1979. In the national polls, they've finished 4th in 1976, 5th in 1979, and 8th in 2015.
Bill Yeoman

Notable UH players include receiver Elmo Wright in 1970, running back Robert Newhouse in 1971, defensive tackle Wilson Whitley in 1976, defensive end Hosea Taylor in 1980, Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Andre Ware in 1989, quarterback David Klingler in 1990, quarterback Case Keenum in 2009, defensive tackle Ed Oliver in 2018, and safety Marcus Jones in 2021.
Andre Ware and his Heisman Trophy

Yeoman, Wright, Ware and Whitley have been elected to the College Football Hall of Fame. The Number 7 has been retired for both Klingler and Keenum, 11 for Ware, and 78 for Whitley. There is no display in the fan-viewable areas for these numbers or their league titles.

Rice's successes have been rarer than UH's. They won the SWC 7 times: 1934, 1937, 1946, 1949, 1953, 1957 and 1994; and have won Conference USA once, in 2013. They won the Cotton Bowl in 1938, 1950 and 1954, the last of these despite the best efforts of a University of Alabama player; the Orange Bowl in 1947; the Texas Bowl in 2008; the Armed Forces Bowl in 2012; and the Hawaii Bowl in 2014. There is no display for these achievements in the fan-viewable areas of the stadium.

There are 6 Rice players in the College Football Hall of Fame: 1930s halfback Bill Wallace, 1940s guard Weldon Humble, 1940s end James "Froggy" Williams, 1950s halfback Dick Maegle, 1950s end Buddy Dial, and 1970s quarterback Tommy Kramer. Also, 2 coaches: John Heisman, for whom the Trophy was named, was Rice's head coach, 1924-27; and Jess Neely, their head coach and athletic director, 1940-66.
Jess Neely

Frank Ryan, who quarterbacked the Cleveland Browns to their last NFL Championship in 1964, placed at Rice. Notable players since Kramer include 1970s running back Earl Cooper (who not only wore Number 49 for the San Francisco 49ers, but appeared on 2 Sports Illustrated covers with them, the 2nd after scoring a touchdown in Super Bowl XVI), 1980s linebacker O.J. Brigance, 1990s halfback Trevor Cobb, 1990s defensive end N.D. Kalu, 1990s linebacker Larry Izzo, and 2000s receiver Jarett Dillard. They have no retired numbers.
Dick Maegle

The Rice-Houston rivalry is known as the Bayou Bucket Classic, with a trophy of that name to the winner. But it's not especially old: They didn't start playing each other until 1971. And conference realignments have meant that they haven't played each other every season. In the last 51 seasons, they've only played 43 times, and Houston have a 32-11 lead. Rice haven't won since 2010.
Houston Cougars players with the Bayou Bucket,
at Rice Stadium, 2018

Stuff. TDECU Stadium has souvenir stands under each corner of the lower level. Rice Stadium doesn't have a big team store, either. You might be better off going to each school's bookstore: UH's at 4455 University Drive, and Rice's at the Ley Student Center, at the corner of Alumni Drive and Laboratory Road.

Alone among major Texas colleges, UH is much better known for basketball than for football. The best book about the school's athletic program is Houston Cougars in the 1960s: Death Threats, the Veer Offense, and the Game of the Century, published in 2015 by Robert D. Jacobus. (In college basketball, "The Game of the Century" was UH's win over UCLA, a Number 1 vs. Number 2 matchup in the Astrodome in 1968, a loss UCLA avenged in the Final Four.) But there's no book about the early 1980s' "Phi Slama Jama" team with Hakeem "the Dream" Olajuwon and Clyde "the Glide" Drexler. Both sets of teams were coached by Guy Lewis.

Rice don't even have that much in the way of books about their teams. As for team videos, for either school, forget it.

During the Game. It's Texas. Don't talk politics, and don't praise the other team. Also, it's Houston. Don't praise the Dallas Cowboys, the Dallas Mavericks, the San Antonio Spurs, or the Tennessee Titans or their former owner, Bud Adams, the man who founded the Houston Oilers and moved them to become the Titans. Other than that, your safety should not be an issue.

John Bender, nicknamed "Chief" after the Hall of Fame pitcher, had coached at Washington State, whose teams are the Cougars. In 1921, he became a physical education instructor at the University of Houston, and in 1927, his suggestion of Cougars, "because of the grace, power and pride that the Cougar embodies," as a team name was accepted. UH is believed to be the only university in America whose school newspaper has the same name as the teams: The Cougar.

Shortly thereafter, UH student Joe Randol had the winning entry selected in a Name the Mascot competition. He chose "Shasta," meaning "She hasta" or "She has to." He said, "Shasta have a cage, Shasta have a keeper, Shasta have a winning ball club, Shasta have the best. He made a good choice, because, as with Ralphie the Buffalo at the University of Colorado, a female mascot is less aggressive and easier to care for, if you're going for a live mascot.

Which UH did, starting in 1947. Shasta I was used until her retirement in 1962, and remains the longest-serving mascot. Shasta II only lasted 3 years, because she was too aggressive. Shasta III lasted from 1965 to 1977, and was used in commercials for American Motors Corporation (AMC): "At the sign of the cat!" Shasta IV, like II, proved too difficult to control and was retired after 3 years.

Shasta V died in 1989, and there hasn't been a live Cougar since. Since then, there are 2 costumed mascots. Unlike the live ones, the male is named Shasta, while the female is named Sasha.
The costumed Sasha and Shasta

In Texas, all of the major universities have adopted a hand sign which signifies to all other Texans where your loyalties lie. The Cougars originally used a "V" for Victory. But while Shasta I was being transported from Houston to Austin for the 1st football game between Houston Texas in 1953, one of the fingers on her paw was severed when the cage door was closed. As the Longhorn fans found out, they mimicked the victimized animal by bending their thumb over the ring finger against their palm. This gesture implied that the Cougars were invalids. The Cougars would go on to lose the game, 28-7.
It would be another 15 years before the teams played each other again, and that 1968 game ended in a 20-20 tie. UH students thought there might be a bit of magic in that sign, and the hand sign was adopted, replacing the "V." They didn't meet again until 1976, the last regular-season game for UT coach Darrell Royal, also "Dad's Day" at Memorial Stadium, when players and their fathers would be introduced together. UH won, 30-0, and Coog fans have kept the gesture ever since, as a reminder of "The Dad's Day Massacre."
In 1976, the Cougars first football season in the Southwest Conference, the Coogs & Horns met for the third time ever. The Coogs put a beating on the Longhorns that they have yet to forget 30-0 (a.k.a.the "Dad's Day Massacre") in front of the largest crowd to assemble in Memorial Stadium at that time. That victory ended the Longhorns famed winning streak, and the embarrassment also signaled the end of legendary UT Coach Darryl K. Royal's career. After that victory, the Cougar Hand Sign became firmly entrenched. Only one hand is to be held aloft when making the Cougar Hand Sign.
From 1969 to 2001, The Spirit of Houston Marching Band played the musical score from the 1961 film El Cid. The Band's website doesn't explain why they stopped playing it. Now, their main song is titled simply "The Cougar Fight Song."
Rice's mascot is Sammy the Owl, as owls have long been a symbol of wisdom. In 1917, there was just a painting of an owl, stolen by Texas A&M fans. The private detective they hired to get it back sent them a coded message: "Sammy is fairly well and would like to see his parents at eleven o'clock." So the Owl has been "Sammy" from then on. There was a live owl mascot for a time, now it's a student in a suit, elected by his peers.
Number 12 as "The 12th Man"

The Marching Owl Band is also known as The MOB due to their initials. In reflection of this, they often wear outfits that reminded some people of gangsters, and others of The Blues Brothers, which led to another nickname, The Blues Band of South Main. They do play one blues/soul classic, Otis Redding's "I Can't Turn You Loose." In addition to the alma mater and "The Rice University Fight Song," their main songs are "Louie Louie" and the 1909 ragtime song "Put On Your Old Grey Bonnet."
After the Game. Houston is a comparatively low-crime city, and as long as you behave yourself, the home fans will probably behave themselves, win or lose.

Scott Street, to the west of TDECU Stadium, has several chain restaurants. At Rice games, you'll also have to go to the west, but a little farther: In an area bounded by Greenbrier Drive, Tangley Street, Kirby Drive and University Boulevard, they've got one of just about every fast-food joint.

Lucky's Pub appears to be the go-to bar for New Yorkers living in the Houston area, but is currently listed as temporarily closed. It is at 801 St. Emanuel Street at Rusk Street, a 12-minute walk from the United Center, adjacent to BBVA Compass Stadium, the new home of MLS' Houston Dynamo. I've also heard that Twin Peaks is a Giant fans' bar, at 4527 Lomitas Avenue, about 4 miles southwest of downtown, Bus 041. Christian's Tailgate Bar is the home of Houston Jet Fans, at 1010 Highway 6, but that's 18 miles west of downtown. Bus 162 takes an hour to get there, but at least there is a bus out there.

If your visit to Houston is during the European soccer season, and you want to watch your favorite club play, the best place to do so is The Richmond Arms, 5920 Richmond Drive, 8 miles west of downtown. Bus 20 to Sage Road & San Felipe Road, then transfer to Bus 32 to Fountainview Drive at Richmond Drive.

Sidelights. On November 30, 2018, Thrillist published a list of "America's 25 Most Fun Cities," and Houston came in 18th. On February 3, 2017, Thrillist made a list ranking the 30 NFL cities (New York and Los Angeles each having 2 teams), and Houston came in 16th, just on the bottom side of the halfway mark. They wrote: 

If you're going to eat meat, be it steak or ribs or burgers or kolaches filled with sausage, there is nary a better city in this country to get down in. If you're going to sit in traffic in the worst humidity I've ever experienced outside of a rainforest (I went to a rainforest once, NBD) in a city that would give LA a run for its money in sprawl, Houston is also very good at that. 

Houston's sports history is pretty much wrapped up in the decaying corpse of the Astrodome, whose history I've already discussed. But there are other sites worth mentioning.

* Minute Maid Park. The new home of the Astros opened in 2000, at 501 Crawford Street, attached to Union Station. The Astros were able to play on God's own grass for the 1st time since 1965, and under God's own sky for the 1st time since 1964. They have now reached the postseason there 4 times: The 2001 National League Division Series, the 2004 NL Championship Series, the 2005 World Series, and the 2015 American League Division Series. Preston Station on METRORail.

* Astrodome and NRG Stadium. In 1965, the Astrodome opened, and was nicknamed "The Eighth Wonder of the World." It sure didn't seem like an exaggeration: The first roofed sports stadium in the world. (Supposedly, the Romans built stadia with canvas roofs, but that's hardly the same thing.) The Astros played there until 1999, and then moved into Enron Field/Minute Maid Park for the 2000 season.

The AFL/NFL's Oilers played at the Astrodome from 1968 to 1996, when, with the "Luv Ya Blue" days long over and the "House of Pain" era already concluded, they moved to Tennessee to become the Titans. The 1st team named the Houston Texans played the 1974 World Football League season there. And the USFL's Gamblers played there in 1984 and 1985.

In 2002, the new NFL team, the Houston Texans, began play next-door to the Astrodome, just to the west, at Reliant Stadium, renamed NRG Stadium for the Houston-based energy company in 2014. Like Minute Maid Park, it has a retractable roof. Suddenly, the mostly-vacant Astrodome seemed, as one writer put it, like a relic of a future that never came to be. (This same writer said the same thing of Shea Stadium and, across Roosevelt Avenue, the surviving structures of the 1964 World's Fair.)
As you can see, the new stadium dwarfs the old one.

The NRG complex, including the Astrodome, is at 8400 Kirby Drive at Reliant Parkway -- about 9 miles southwest of downtown -- although the stadium's official address is One NRG Parkway. Reliant Park station on METRORail.

Once, the Astrodome was flashy enough to be the site of movies like The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training and Murder at the World Series. (Both were released in 1977. In the latter, the Astros, who had never yet gotten close to a Pennant, played the Series against the Oakland Athletics, who had just gotten fire-sold by owner Charlie Finley.)

The Astrodome also hosted the legendary 1968 college basketball game between Number 1 UCLA (with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, then still Lew Alcindor) and Number 2 University of Houston (whose Elvin Hayes led them to victory, before UCLA got revenge in that year's Final Four); the 1971 NCAA Final Four, with UCLA defeating Villanova in the Final; and the cheese-tastic 1973 tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs, the "Battle of the Sexes."

The Astrodome hosted 3 fights for the Heavyweight Champion of the World, with the defending Champion winning all 3 by knockout: Muhammad Ali over Cleveland Williams on November 14, 1966; Ali over Ernie Terrell on February 6, 1967; and Larry Holmes over Randall "Tex" Cobb on November 26, 1982.

Elvis Presley sang there on February 27, 28 and March 1, 1970 and on March 3, 1974. It hosted Selena's last big concert before her murder in 1995, and when Jennifer Lopez starred in the film Selena, it was used for the re-creation. In 2004, the same year NRG (then Reliant) Stadium hosted the Super Bowl (which was won by... Janet Jackson, I think), the Astrodome was used to film a high school football playoff for the film version of Friday Night Lights; the old Astros division title banners can be clearly seen.

Today, though, the Astrodome seems, like the Republican Party that held a ridiculously bigoted Convention there in 1992, stuck in the past, and not just because they renominated failed President George H.W. Bush. The former Eighth Wonder of the World is now nicknamed the Lonely Landmark, and while it served as a shelter for people displaced from New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina in 2005, since 2008, when it was hit with numerous code violations, only maintenance workers and security guards had been allowed to enter.

Various ideas of what to do with the Astrodome have been discussed, but none has won sufficient support. So the building remains vacant.

NRG Stadium was built roughly on the site of Colt Stadium, which was the baseball team's home in their first 3 seasons, 1962, '63 and '64, when they were known as the Houston Colt .45's (spelled with the apostrophe), before moving into the dome and changing the name of the team. Astrohall, built in 1971, was torn down in 2002 to make way for parking for the new stadium (which, after all, was built on Astrodome parking).

The climate-controlled Astrodome was necessary because of not just the heat and the humidity, but because of the mosquitoes. Later, seeing the artificial turf that was laid in the Astrodome for 1966 after the grass died in the first season, due to the skylights in the dome having to be painted due to the players losing the ball in the sun, Koufax, he of the mosquito quip, said, "I was one of those guys who pitched without a cup. I wouldn't do it on this stuff." And Dick Allen of the Philadelphia Phillies, looking at the first artificial field in baseball history, said, "If a horse can't eat it, I don't want to play on it."

The Astrodome hosted a 1988 match between the national soccer teams of the U.S. and Ecuador, which Ecuador won. NRG Stadium has hosted 2 such matches, a 2008 draw with Mexico and a 2011 win over Panama. The Mexico team has made it a home-away-from-home, playing 10 matches there between 2003 and 2013. The stadium hosted the 2010 MLS All-Star Game, in which a team of MLS players lost to Manchester United. 

NRG Stadium hosts the annual Texas Bowl, which more or less replaced the Bluebonnet Bowl, formerly an Astrodome fixture. It hosted the Final Four in 2011, when Connecticut beat Butler in the Final. It hosted the Final Four again in 2016, with Villanova beating North Carolina in a thriller of a Final.

NRG Stadium hosted the Final Four in 2011 (Connecticut beating Butler in the Final), and earlier this year (Villanova beating North Carolina). It hosted Super Bowl LI in 2017, with (take your pick: The Atlanta Falcons choking, or the New England Patriots cheating). It hosted 4 games each in the CONCACAF Gold Cups of 2005 and 2007, and 2 games each in that tournament in 2009, 2011, 2019 and 2021. It will host the 2023 NCAA Final Four and the 2023-24 College Football National Championship Game, and it has been approved by FIFA to be one of the host venues for the 2026 World Cup.

Since the Astrodome is to the east of NRG Stadium, that's the side of the stadium on which you are least likely to enter. If you come in from METRORail, you will have a half-mile walk west on Reliant Parkway.

On September 12, 2017, Thrillist had an article ranking all 31 NFL stadiums. NRG Stadium ranked 14th, in the top half:

Built to function as an intimate indoor arena but have the feel of the open air, the stadium rocks open-to-the-field concourses... Two colossal, 50-feet-by-277-feet HD screens sit pretty above each end zone, pumping up a crowd that admittedly plays home to a mixed bag of NFL fans (is anyone actually from Houston?). You’ll find the loudest home-team crew in the "Bull Pen," a raucous bleacher section behind the north end zone.

* Site of Sam Houston Coliseum. The Houston Aeros, with Gordie Howe and his sons Mark and Marty, won the World Hockey Association championships of 1974 and 1975, while playing here, before moving into the Summit in 1975 and folding in 1978. Elvis sang there on October 13, 1956, and the Beatles played there on August 19, 1965. It was built in 1937 and demolished in 1998.

It replaced Sam Houston Hall, where the 1928 Democratic Convention nominated Governor Alfred E. Smith of New York, who thus became the 1st Catholic nominated for President by a major party.

The Hobby Center for the Performing Arts is now on the site. 801 Bagby Street, at Rusk Street, downtown.

With even the minor-league Aeros gone, the closest NHL team to Houston is the Dallas Stars, 242 miles away, although some Houstonians would rather vote for a gay black Democrat than root for a Dallas team. If Houston ever did get an NHL team, it would rank 11th in population among NHL markets.

* PNC Stadium. Formerly BBVA Compass Stadium, the new home of the Dynamo and the National Women's Soccer League's Houston Dash opened in 2012 at 2200 Texas Avenue at Dowling Street, within walking distance of downtown. It is also the home field of the football team at Texas Southern University, which won the National Championship of black college football in 1952 and 2010.

On January 29, 2013, it hosted its first U.S. national team match, a draw with Canada. The U.S. women's team beat Mexico 6-2 there on April 8, 2018. The USMNT played there again on March 26, 2019, a 1-1 draw in a friendly with Chile. It hosted 6 games of the 2021 CONCACAF Gold Cup.

* Site of Buffalo Stadium. Before there were the Astros, or even the Colt .45's, there were the Houston Buffaloes. The Buffs played at Buffalo Stadium, a.k.a. Buff Stadium, for most of their history, from 1928 to 1961, when the Colt .45's made them obsolete.

They were a farm team of the St. Louis Cardinals, and as a result in its last years Buff Stadium was renamed Busch Stadium. The Cardinal teams of the 1930s that would be known as the "Gashouse Gang" came together in Houston, with Dizzy and Daffy Dean, Joe Medwick, Pepper Martin and Enos Slaughter. Later Buff stars included Cleveland Indians 3rd baseman Al Rosen, Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Wilmer "Vinegar Bend" Mizell, Negro League legend Willard Brown, Cardinal MVP Ken Boyer, and Phillies shortstop Ruben Amaro Sr.

Wanting to lure in more customers but also to beat the infamous Houston heat, lights were installed in 1930, 5 years before any major league park had them. The Buffs won 8 Texas League Pennants: 1928, 1931, 1940, 1947, 1951, 1954, 1956 and 1957. The stadium was at the southwest corner of Leeland Street & Cullen Blvd., about 2 1/2 miles southeast of downtown. A furniture store is on the site now. Number 20 bus.

* Toyota Center. The new home of the NBA's Rockets replaced the Summit. It took 8 years from Rockets owner Les Alexander's demand for a new arena until first tipoff, in which time NBA Commissioner David Stern announced that the Rockets would have to move without a new arena (not that there was anything wrong with the Summit, aside from a low number of luxury boxes), and NHL Comissioner Gary Bettman announced that Houston would not get an NHL team. But tip off the Rockets did, on October 30, 2003.

It's hosted the Rockets ever since, the WNBA's Houston Comets from 2003 until they folded after the 2007 season, and the Houston Aeros of the American Hockey League (not the old WHA team of the same name) from 2003 until 2013, when their parent club, the Minnesota Wild, moved them to Des Moines, where they became the Iowa Wild. It's also hosted wrestling, Ultimate Fighting, concerts (including by Houston native Beyonce, both with and without the rest of Destiny's Child) and the Latin Grammys.

1510 Polk Street, also bounded by Jackson, Bell and La Branch Streets. It's downtown, 5 blocks east of Main Street and the light rail, with Bell Street the closest station.

* The Summit. Before the Toyota Center, the Rockets played at The Summit, later known as the Compaq Center, from 1975 to 2003, and the Comets from 1997 to 2003. Elvis sang at The Summit on August 28, 1976. It's been converted into the Lakewood Church Central Campus, a megachurch presided over by Dr. Joel Osteen. 3700 Southwest Freeway at Timmons Lane. Number 53 bus.

Before that, between their 1971 move from San Diego and the 1975 opening of The Summit, they played some home games at the Astrodome, some at the Astrohall, some at the Sam Houston Coliseum, and some at the Hofheinz Pavilion.

There's another notable sports site in Houston: The U.S. Military Entry Processing Station, in the Customs House, where Muhammad Ali, then living and training in Houston, had to report to fulfill his draft obligation. He did report there, on April 28, 1967, and refused to be drafted. (To be fair, they did call his birth name, Cassius Clay, not his legal name, Muhammad Ali.) Ali was convicted of draft evasion and stripped of the Heavyweight Title. He stayed out of prison on appeal, and the case went all the way to the Supreme Court, which overturned the conviction.

The Customs House is still standing, and still used in part by the U.S. Department of Defense. 701 San Jacinto Street. Central Station on METRORail.

Prairie View A&M University, 47 miles northwest of downtown Houston, won black college National Championships in 1953, 1954, 1958, 1963, 1964 and 2009. But they also set an all-time NCAA Division I record with 80 straight losses from 1989 to 1998. They've been better since, but not much. In 2016, they opened a new Panther Stadium at Blackshear Field. 1600 Stadium Drive in Prairie View.

In addition to the preceding, Elvis sang at Hofheinz Pavilion on November 12, 1971; and June 4 and 5, 1975. He also sang at the City Auditorium on October 8, 1955 and April 21, 1956. It's better known as the venue where R&B singer Johnny Ace mistakenly shot himself before a show on Christmas Day, December 25, 1955. The Jones Hall for the Performing Arts replaced it in 1966. 615 Louisiana Street at Capitol Street, downtown.

Also, early in his career, Elvis sang in Houston at the Paladium Club (8100 S. Main Street, near the Astrocomplex) on November 26, 27 and 28, 1954; Cook's Hoedown (603 Capitol Street, around the corner from Jones Hall) on November 27 and December 28, 1954, and April 24 and August 7, 1955; Magnolia Gardens (12044 Riverside Street, no public transit) on April 24, May 22, June 19 and August 7, 1955; and Eagles Hall at 2204 Louisiana Street on January 1 and March 19, 1955 (2204 Louisiana Street, downtown). All of these have since been demolished.

Elvis sang near the University of Texas campus in Austin, 160 miles to the northwest, at Dessau Hall on March 17, 1955, the Sportscenter on August 25, 1955, the Skyline Club on January 18, 1956, and the Municipal Auditorium on March 28, 1977. And he sang near the Texas A&M campus, 100 miles to the northwest, at the Rodeo Grounds in Bryan on August 23, 1955 and the G. Rolle White Coliseum in College Station on October 3, 1955;

Elvis also sang in South Texas at the City Auditorium in Beaumont, 85 miles to the northeast, on June 20 and 21, 1955 and January 17, 1956; at the football stadium at Conroe High School, 40 miles to the north, on August 24, 1955; in Corpus Christi, 200 miles to the southwest, at the Hoedown Club on July 3, 1955 and the Memorial Coliseum on April 16, 1956; in Galveston, 50 miles to the southeast, at the City Auditorium on January 16, 1956; at the baseball field in Gonzales, 130 miles to the west, on August 26, 1955; at Woodrow Wilson High School in Port Arthur, 90 miles to the east on November 25, 1955; and at Southwest Texas State University (LBJ's alma mater, now "Texas State"), 165 miles to the west, on October 6, 1955.

There are other places that might be considered "South Texas" where he sang, but I'll include them with "West Texas" when I do this for the San Antonio Spurs.

The tallest building in Houston, and in all of Texas, is the JPMorgan Chase Tower, formerly the Texas Commerce Tower. It was built in 1982 at 600 Travis Street at Texas Avenue, downtown, and stands 1,002 feet tall, rising 75 stories above the concrete over the bayou. It is the tallest 5-sided building in the world.

Houston's version of New York's American Museum of Natural History is the Houston Museum of Natural Science, in Hermann Park, at Main Street and Hermann Park Drive. The Sam Houston Monument is a few steps away. The Houston Museum of Fine Arts is at 1001 Bissonnet Street, just 5 blocks away. Both can be reached by the Number 700 bus.

Of course, the name "Houston" is most connected with two things: Its namesake, the legendary Senator, Governor and war hero Sam Houston; and the Johnson Space Center, the NASA control center named after President Lyndon B. Johnson, who, as Senate Majority Leader, wrote the bill creating NASA and the Space Center, because he thought it would bring a lot of jobs and money to Houston (and he was right).

Aside from his Monument, most historic sites relating to Sam are not in the city that bears his name. As for reaching the Johnson Space Center, it's at 1601 NASA Parkway and Saturn Lane. The Number 249 bus goes there, so if you don't have a car, Houston, you won't have a problem.

Although Houston is the post-Presidential home for George H.W. Bush, his Presidential Library is at Texas A&M University, 100 miles away in College Station. As a former baseball player, Bush is the only President so far who had his Library designed by HOK, designer of several sports facilities including our own MetLife Stadium.

I refused to list the Bushes' address while they were still alive, or even to look it up. As it turns out, 9 West Oak Lane South is part of a gated community, and not accessible to the public, anyway, making it unlikely that it will ever be turned over to the federal government as a historic site. At any rate, it's about 7 miles west of downtown, and Bus 20 would drop you off right outside the community's gate.

The Alley Theatre, downtown at 615 Texas Avenue, opened in 1968, and in 1976 hosted the Vice Presidential debate between Senators Walter Mondale and Bob Dole. This is where Dole named World War I, World War II, and the Korean and Vietnam Wars as "all Democrat wars" -- forgetting that the Republicans wanted America to get into all but World War II, and didn't want that one because they liked the Nazis' anti-union status; and that it was actually the Republicans who got us into Vietnam.

There have been a few TV shows set in Houston, but the only one that lasted was Reba, starring country singer Reba McIntire. But it was filmed in Los Angeles, so if you're a fan, you won't find the house in Houston.

Congressman Matthew Santos, a Houston native played by Jimmy Smits, was inaugurated as President on the last episode of The West Wing. Of interest to me was Outlaws, in which a sheriff tried to capture his former gang, but all 5 of them were transported from 1899 to 1986. Realizing they needed each other, they teamed up, and, with the gold that was transported with them, they bought what they needed and formed a private detective agency. It lasted just 1 season.

Films set in Houston, in addition to the sports-themed ones, include Brewster McCloud (which also used the Astrodome), Logan's Run (which used the Houston Hyatt Regency for some scenes),
Telefon (set there but filmed in California), Terms of EndearmentReality Bites, and, perhaps most iconically, Urban Cowboy.

*

Houston can be hot, but it's a good sports town, and, best of all, it's not Dallas. So there can be a good old time in the hot town tonight.

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