It's Boone Logan, I Could Cry

On August 23, 2011, I wrote this:

Remember Felix Heredia? A not-so-good relief pitcher for the Cubs in the early 2000s, the Yankees claimed him off waivers in late 2003, and he blew a few games for the Yankees in 2004. I said then that his name sounded like a skin condition. "The Heartbreak of Psoriasis" had nothing on The Hearbreak of Felixheredia. Somebody on a message board I was on then noted that not only was Heredia throwing meatballs, but he WAS a meatball. So, noting that he was a reliever rather than a starter, I started calling him the Meatball Sub. 

The Yankees released Heredia after the 2004 season -- ironically, in that ALCS collapse against The Scum, he was fine, pitching to 4 batters and only allowing 1 of them to reach base, and he didn't score -- and he pitched in only 3 more major league games. All for the 2005 Mets. He was done at 30. Even being a lefty specialist -- or a Lefty One Out GuY, or LOOGY -- didn't save the Dominican. 

Boone Logan has an acute case of felixheredia. He has followed in the footsteps of Bob Shirley, Greg Cadaret, Tim Stoddard, Brian Boehringer, Tanyon Sturze (a.k.a. Sturtze So Bad), Scott Proctor, and Kerosene Kyle Farnsworth as a Meatball Sub. 

The classic definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result." 

Logan is now directly responsible for 6 Yankee losses this season: April 5 vs. Minnesota, May 7 at Texas, May 27 at Seattle, July 19 in Tampa Bay, July 23 vs. this same Oakland team, and last night. True, he was also responsible for a win in Boston. 

But think about this: The Yankees are now tied for first with Boston, a game ahead in the loss column. If Logan had only blown HALF as many games as he has, we'd be 3 games up, 4 in the loss column, with 36 games to play. 

Boone Logan has proven that he does not belong on the New York Yankees. He must go. Before he reveals himself to be a Meatball Sub in a game considerably more important than last night's. 

Apparently, Joe Girardi didn't read that post. Instead, he reads his binder, which tells him that Boone Logan can pitch.

I use something else: My eyes. They tell me that BOONE LOGAN CANNOT FUCKING PITCH!

*

This afternoon, the Yankees began a 3-game series against the Tigers in Detroit.  Ivan Nova started, and he allowed single runs in each of the first 2 innings, then settled down.  In the top of the 5th, Brett Gardner scored on a wild pitch, with Robinson Cano advancing to 2nd. Then Kevin Youkilis hit his first Yankee home run, driving in Cano ahead of him. It was 3-2 Yankees.

But in the bottom of the 5th, Nova weakened. He allowed a single to Omar Infante and a walk to ex-Yankee prospect Austin Jackson, the big piece that we gave up in order to bring Curtis Granderson to New York. Girardi sent pitching coach Larry Rothschild to the mound to calm Nova down. At first, it worked, as he got Torii Hunter to ground into a double play. But then he hit Miguel Cabrera to make it 1st and 3rd with 2 out.

Girardi panicked, and pulled Nova, and brought in Logan. Look, the batter was Prince Fielder. Great power hitter, but a lefty, so we need a lefty, right? Not when the lefty is Boone Logan.

Logan threw Fielder 2 pitches. The first was a slider, for a called strike. As they used to say on the old Match Game, "Dumb Donald is so dumb!" "How dumb is he?" Logan is so dumb, his second pitch was a fastball, to one of the best fastball hitters in the game.

This ball is now being inspected by Canadian Customs agents, because it sailed out of Comerica Park, across the Detroit River, and into Windsor, Ontario.

5-3 Tigers. Fielder would later hit another homer, as would Alex Avila, and the final would be 8-3 Tigers.

WP: Doug Fister (1-0). SV: Drew Smyly (1 -- he got a save because it was only 5-3 when he came in). LP: Nova (0-1).

And yet, it was Logan who turned it from lead to deficit.

If Logan were righthanded, and producing the same results, he wouldn't be producing the same results.

Yeah, I know, that sounds like a Yogiism. But tell me I'm wrong!

If you're an Arsenal fan, Boone Logan is the Yankees' answer to Manuel Almunia.

Suddenly, releasing lefty reliever Clay Rapada looks like a mistake.

At any rate, Game 2 of this series is tomorrow, a 4:05 start because it's on Fox.  David Phelps starts against Max Scherzer.

I sure hope Phelps doesn't need lefty relief, because Girardi will once again...

To rewrite a Hank Williams classic:

Did you ever see a pitcher throw
a curve hit for long fly?
The subway train is hit by one.
It's Boone Logan, I could cry.

UPDATE: Phil Hughes has been activated from the Disabled List, and will start tomorrow. No word yet on who will be sent down or released to make room for him.

But, knowing Girardi, it won't be Logan.