Sunday, January 10, 2010

J, E, T, S, Patriots Suck!

New York Jets 24, Cincinnati Bengals 14. Looks like Darrelle Revis ensured that Chad Johnson will have to go back to his old name, rendering "Ochocinco" persona non grata.

This is the Jets' 1st Playoff win in 5 years, and enjoy it while you can, because the next game is going to be at the Indianapolis Colts. With their full squad. Oy vey.

Except... No, it won't!

Baltimore Ravens 33, New England Patriots 14! In Foxboro, no less! Ray Rice of Rutgers scores 2 touchdowns, including an 83-yarder on the first play from scrimmage. The Pats go down hard at home. I guess the Cleveland version of Bill Belichick was coaching. Either that, or Belichick couldn't figure out how to cheat in this one. When he can't cheat, he's the Cleveland Belichick.

The '01 Rams, '03 Panthers and '04 Eagles would like their rings, thank you very much. Bastard.

Anyway, the Ravens winning means they go to Indy to play the Colts, while the J-E-T-S-Jets-Jets-Jets will go to San Diego to play the Chargers.

Let's see: Would I rather play in nice, sunny San Diego, or under a dome to keep out the elements? Frankly, I don't think it matters, because the Jets and their fans will be warm either way. Besides, now that we know Mark Sanchez can play quarterback in the cold, who cares?

Dallas Cowboys 34, Philadelphia Eagles 14. So the Cowboys win their 1st Playoff game in 13 years (since Bill Clinton's 1st term as President and the Yankees' 1st World Championship in the Joe Torre era, ah, those were the days), Tony Romo wins his 1st Playoff game ever (gee, maybe Jessica Simpson really was a jinx), and the Eagles will go into the 2010 regular season making it a full 50 years since their last title.

December 26, 1960, beating the Green Bay Packers, 17-13 in a thriller at venerable Franklin Field -- which, unlike Veterans Stadium, not only still stands but still hosts football, even if it is just Ivy League (University of Pennsylvania).

Arizona Cardinals 24, Green Bay Packers 10 at the half (as I type this). Aaron Rodgers is not yet the Playoff quarterback that Brett Favre is, but at least he hasn't yet revealed himself to be the NFL's biggest diva, either.

And you thought it was T.O. Or Ochocinco.

Uh-uh. I will believe Brett Favre has played his last game on the 4th day that he is in his grave. I'll give him 3 days, just to be sure. Although, to hear people in Wisconsin tell it, playing for Minnesota makes him more like Judas.

Ease up, Cheeseheads, at least he didn't play for Da Bears.

Then again, Jesus forgave Judas. I suspect Packer fans will one day forgive Favre. After all, he wanted to stay, but the team pushed him out. Sort of like the Boston Red Sox pushing Roger Clemens out when he wanted to stay, and Red Sox have forgiven Clemens, haven't they? Haven't they?

Look who I'm talking about: Sox fans. Fans of a bunch of cheaters. In two sports. At least. And I'm not even counting the point-shaving scandal at Boston College a few years back.

Just another good weekend if you're a New York fan who hates New England teams. Heck, all 3 Tri-State Area hockey teams won. The Rangers (who usually suck) beat the Boston Bruins, so that's yet another New York victory over Bahhhhston; the Devils crossed the border to beat the Montreal Canadiens ("Monsieur, do you have anything to declare?" "Yeah, we won!"); and the Islanders beat the Phoenix Coyotes.

Of course, the Devils have to resume that suspended game where they trailed the Tampa Bay Lightning 3-0 midway through, when the lights went out at the Prudential Center. Well, only half the lights. It's not like the 1988 Stanley Cup Finals, when the Bruins were so desperate to have the Edmonton Oilers NOT clinch in a sweep at the Gahhhhden that the lights mysteriously went out.

Now, if we can just find a way to prove the Celtics cheaters on any of their 17 titles... There's got to be something.


"Nutball Gazette" said...

That may be your best one yet.

I even wonder if Belecheat will be back next year.

The Celtics did cheat, They drafted Juniors in later rounds (Russell and Bird) and then signed them a year later, Then the NBA changed the rules
and they have one just one NBA tittle afterwards, And Red Aeurbach is not around to Bribe the Refs anymore too.

John said...

Oh Jets fans, I wonder why you root for a team that hasn't been to a damn super bowl in over 40 years. I wonder why you root for a team who beats Peyton Manning and Tom Brady back to back, celebrates, then lose to the Steelers in the AFC Championship. I wonder why you root for a team who loses 2 AFC Championships in a row after Fat Rex promises a super bowl the same season. You Jets fans are the most pointless fans in the universe. One dusty trophy, Hall Of Famers that aren't important, a QB who'e in over his head, a head coach who won't lay orr the twinkies, and the most OVERRATED team in the league. So much potential my ass. And about this "cheating" argument (which is the only one you have), does it explain being the only QB (the only player even) to being unanimously decided MVP? Does it explain going 339 passes without a pick? Does it explain only having 4 intos all season? Didn't think so. I'm 15, live in NY, and I still have more logic than everyone here. Sanchez had his biggest NFL loss in NE (45-3).

John said...

Nuttball Gazette, it's pretty much every Boston team cheating to you isn't is? This is why I hate NY teams with a passion. The Celtics have more rings than the Knicks do. The Patriots have more rings than the Jets do. The Red Sox might not have as much rings as the Yankees, but they're still better. And as far as hockey, I don't watch it, but I'm still rootin for the Bruins. Eli Manning and the Giants don't deserve to be talked about. 25 PICKS!!! 42 TURNOVERS!!! THE MOST HILARIOUS COMEBACK I'VE EVER SEEN WHEN THE EAGLES WON FROM BEING BEHIND 28 POINTS IN THE 4TH QUARTER!!! Just a huge pile of shit.

John said...

Hey Uncle Mike, why are you a Jets fan? For what reason do you watch every sunday game they play in? Is it because you have nothing else to do? Is it because you like shitty teams? I mean the haven't done anything spectacular... well... ever. Mark Sanchez will never be in the Top 10 QBs of all time. Not Top 20, 50, or 100.

Uncle Mike said...

John, when have I ever said I was a Jets fan? This post -- which apparently took you a year and a half to notice, as you were apparently on the lookout for blogs that said "Patriots suck" (which, by the way, they do) -- was merely a celebration of the defeat of a bunch of caught, admitted, and unrepentant cheaters.

I give the Pats credit for admitting it, unlike the Red Scum, who still insist that they are the moral ones and the Yankees are the "evil empire," which is doubly bullshit.

Now we have the ice at TD Garden being sloppy and brutal hits that don't get penalized? Come on, the Bruins didn't need to cheat! They had Gary Bettman in their back pocket, a man who will NEVER let another Canadian team win the Cup! The people that piss me off the most are the ones who cheat WHEN THEY DON'T HAVE TO. Like Bonds.

The only question left is, DID Belichick need to cheat? Or, without cheating, is he the idiot who couldn't win when coaching the Cleveland Browns? Will the real Bill Belichick please stand up? And take off that stupid hoodie, you ridiculous chav!

JBsptfn said...

Yes, Belichick needed to cheat, because the 01 and 03 Pats had average talent.