Thursday, October 25, 2007

As If I Needed Another Reason Not to Vote For Rudy Giuliani

So, Rudolph William Giuliani, "America's Mayor" and "the world's biggest Yankee fan," is rooting for the Boston Red Sox to win the World Series, because he's an American League fan.

Fans of American League teams don't think that way. Fans of National League teams do. Met fans will root for the NL Pennant winners solely because they're an NL team. These are the same boneheads who say, "New York is a National League town. New York has always been a National League town."

That explains why the Yankees held the New York attendance record from 1920 to 1970, and have held it again since 1998.

Count 'em: Yankees 39 Pennants, Giants 17, Dodgers 13, Mets 4. To put it another way: AL 39, NL 34. And that's with 68 seasons, 1890 through 1957, with two NL teams in New York. World Championships? Yankees 26, Giants 5, Mets 2, Dodgers 1; AL 26, NL 8.

NL wins over AL? The Giants beat the Yankees in 1921 and 1922; the Dodgers beat the Yankees in 1955; the Mets have never beaten the Yankees. AL wins over NL? The Yankees beat the Giants in 1923, '36, '37 and '51; the Dodgers in '41, '47, '49, '52, '53 and '56; and the Mets in 2000. That's AL 11, NL 3. Since the start of Divisional Play in 1969, it's Playoff Berths, it's Yanks 19, Mets 7; Division Titles, Yanks 16, Mets 5; Pennants, Yanks 10, Mets 4; World Championships, Yanks 6, Mets 2; Subway Series, Yanks 1, Mets 0.

Explain to me again why rooting for one specific league matters, especially in New York?

So what's the real reason Rudy's rooting for the Red Sox? I will tell you: It's because he wants to win the New Hampshire Primary. That's the only reason. If Colorado had the nation's first primary election, he'd be decked out in purple and black.

The man was with the Clintons and Governor Mario Cuomo when it was to his advatnage; he switched to Bush and new Governor George Pataki when it was advantageous to do so.

After he loses the nomination, he'll give a Convention speech saying how wonderful a human being the nominee is and what a great President he'll make. Which will be tough for him, since he doesn't think anyone's better. Especially if it's Mitt Romney, who he really ripped -- as, among other things, a "flip-flopper" who changes positions when it becomes politically convenient. Like Rudy himself hasn't done that before.

Then again, Romney was Governor of Massachusetts, and he hasn't said a word about the Red Sox. At least John Kerry, clumsy as he was about it (bad first pitch, the "Manny Ortez" thing, etc.), was root, root, rooting for his home team, come what may.

Pete Coors, the Coors beer baron who owns a piece of the Rockies franchise, is a major Republican fundraiser. It might have been more advantageous to Giuliani to announce he was rooting for the Rockies.

He doesn't have to win the New Hampshire Primary to get the nomination, because the whole point of his appeal is that he can supposedly get the States that usually go Democratic. That will help him in the later primaries.

But if he'd sided with Pete Coors and the Rockies, he would have pleased Yankee fans in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut -- that's 56 Electoral Votes the Democrats usually get -- and Pete probably would have raised a ton o' funds for him, which would have helped him in several Western States that the Dems think they have a shot at in 2008, including Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, and possibly even Montana.

What New Englanders is Reichskanzler Rudy really trying to please now? The taxophobes in New Hampshire? They know his record: It ain't one they would like. So what New Englander... Oh yeah, New Haven, Connecticut native George W. Bush.

Let's not forget: Rudy bashed Hillary Clinton as a "flip-flopper" for being a Chicago area native and a Cubs fan who started wearing a Yankee cap when she ran for the Senate seat in New York. Now, Rudy has flipped... his lid. He has flipped when he wants us to believe he's "decisive" and "sticks to his principles." Unless said principles can be tossed overboard -- that's what we called it, kids, before you started saying "thrown under the bus" -- in order to take another step toward winning the White House.

So what's Hillary saying on the subject? She's calling herself a dispassionate observer, since neither of her teams are in. Smart lady: Staying out of a fight she has no place in. If Bush had done that... But that's a story for another time.

As a Yankee Fan, I've rooted for the Red Sox twice. The first time was in the 1986 World Series, because I hate the Mets that much. And I think we all know how THAT one turned out. The other time was in the 2004 Series, despite their humiliation of the Yankees, because it seemed silly to do that, and then lose the Series.

I like Boston. I like New England. But I will not root for the Red Sox again. Or the Celtics. Or the Patriots as long as that cheating Bill Belichick is their coach. Maybe the Bruins, if they're playing the Rangers (who suck), Islanders or Flyers. Maybe Boston College, if they're playing Notre Dame, Penn State or Miami. Not the Red Sox, unless we end up with another Sox-Mets World Series. Or a Sox-Dodgers World Series. As Joseph Conrad would say, "The horror... the horror... "

Yankee Fan Rudy abandoning New York for the Red Sox... As they used to say in cartoons, when nearly every voice-over guy had a N'Yawk accent... "What a maroon!"

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