Thursday, December 31, 2009

This Decade's Now Expired

To the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by my man Billy Joel:

Bill Clinton, Hillary, roaring economy.
Gladiator, Kurt Warner, Pierre Trudeau.
Will & Grace, West Wing, Oops, Britney did it again.
Subway Series, Yankees win it, Tony Soprano.

Who's the winner? Al Gore? Not when Jeb's the Governor.
Vote theft denies the left, our nation is bereft.
Eisenhower he's not, won't read memo that he's got.
9/11, airplanes revvin', World Trade Center goodbye!

This decade marked by fire.
It gave us the boozer, called Al Gore "sore loser."
This decade marked by fire.
He didn't pay attention, there was no redemption.

Getting tough, launching bombs, watching on our CD-ROMs.
Harrison, Halle Berry, Alicia Keys.
Reality shows, Christina, put on some clothes.
Kelly Clarkson, Simon shut up please!
Norah, Catherine, lots of people Jones-in'.
OutKast, Lord of Rings, Eminem's profane zings.
Saddam, big pest, lied into a hornet's nest.
Tampa Bay all the way, Devils take Lord Stanley!

This decade forged by liar.
Weapons of mass destruction, they're not real, distraction.
This decade forged by liar.
Bush gave us a hurtin', all for Halliburton.

Slammed Iraq, Johnny Cash, Ben and J-Lo have a crash.
Pedro makes Zimmer fall, Boone hits Wakefield's knuckleball.
Dixie Chicks, Timberlake, Janet's Super Bowl mistake.
Reagan takes his final ride, Brando, Ray Charles, Chris Reeve died.

Kanye West, Beyonce, Red Sox go all the way.
Raymond, 24, Bush has to lie some more.
John Kerry, easy vote, liars weren't on his boat!
Dick Cheney psycho, vote fraud in Ohio!

This decade wasn't higher.
It was such a creeper, always getting deeper.
This decade wasn't higher.
We just weren't gaming, we were only shaming.

Brokeback Mountain, iPod stream, Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
John Paul, Benedict, credit market quick fix.
Bush screws up again, does nothing 'bout hurricane.
Peyton Manning, White Sox, deejay Dylan, Emo shlock.
Steve Irwin, Auerbach, Saddam hangs in Iraq.
GOP blown away, what else do I have to say?

This decade in entire
was a big disaster, Cheney was its master.
This decade in entire
it gave us no cover, we're so glad it's over.

Barry Bonds' false break, "I drink your milkshake!"
Miley, Mad Men, John McCain tries again.
Economic meltdown, Sarah Palin is a clown.
End Iraq, Afghanistan, fix our country? "Yes, we can!"
Two million inaugurate, Hudson airplane, Teabag-gate.
Foreign debts, homeless vets, Yankees win, lousy Mets.
Guidos on the Jersey Shore, Jacko dies, health care law.
We can't take this crap again! Ready for the twenty-tens!

This decade's not inspired
until Barack Obama! GOP, yo' mama!
This decade's now expired
and thank God it's gone, now we can go on
and on, and on, and on...

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