Monday, March 30, 2009

Warning, explicit lyrics, after all this post is about the Rangers

Derek Jeter batting leadoff, with Johnny Damon batting second? I'm OK with it.

Brett Gardner starting in center field, not Melky Cabrera? I'm OK with it, especially if it leads to Melky waking up and playing like he did in 2006 and '07.

Now, if we can just get someone at 3rd base on whom we can rely... both before and after A-Roid comes back.

Tonight is a Devils-Rangers game, so I'm going to be like Colin Firth in the original, good-guys-won, soccer version of Fever Pitch:

"Jesus, Paul, you need medical help! You've got some sort of disease that turns people into miserable bastards!"

I... hate... the... fucking... Rangers.

There, I actually said it, instead of "freaking" or "f---ing." I hate the fucking Rangers.

No, I really shouldn't say that. Here's what I should say:

I hate the stupid cheating miserable dirty rotten low-down no-good fascist goddamned motherfucking Rangers!

And that would be true regardless of whether Sean (Not Man Enough to Even Qualify As a Punk) Avery were back with them.

Shut 'em down, Marty. Smack 'em around, boys. Light the lamp, Jamie, Patrik, Zach and Travis.

Hate the Rangers. Loathe them. Despise them. With a flaming scarlet-and-black passion.

Kick their sorry blue asses!

1 comment:

"Nutball Gazette" said...

So Mike,

Tell me, What do you think of the Rangers?
Come on, Let it out. Don't keep it bottled up. it is not healthy, Believe me you will feel better if you let it out!

Great post.