Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Enough Is Enough! Dump Farnsworth!

Tomorrow is June 4. It would have been my grandmother's birthday. I'll have something to say about her and her former teams -- the Brooklyn Dodgers, the New York Mets, the New York Football Giants, the New Jersey Devils and the Lakewood BlueClaws -- tomorrow.

Today, however, I gotta get something off my chest.

Kyle Farnsworth. If you don't mind me using dirty words. (NOTE: This was before I began using profanity in this blog.)

Hank Steinbrenner should have a talk with him, and say the same things Jackie Gleason would've said on The Honeymooners:

"You are a mental case!"

"I oughta belt you one!"

"You wanna go to the Moon? Do you wanna go to the Moon?" (Hey, when he gets there, he might see a few balls he gave up for home runs!)

"One of these days, one of these days... POW! Right in the kisser!"

"Get out. Get out! GET OUT!"

Kerosene Kyle blew another one last night: Tied 5-5 in the 8th at the Metrodome, he gave up back-to-back doubles, and the Minnesota Twins beat the Yankees.

Ashley and Rachel walking, good things happening with Twins. Farnsworth on the mound, bad things happening with Twins!

As long as Not a Darn's Worth is on the Yankees, Aaron Heilman will not be the most disgraceful figure in a New York bullpen!

How many times does a guy have to screw up a game before the manager (Joe Torre the last two years, Joe Girardi now) and management (Brian Cashman or Hank Steinbrenner) loses confidence in him?

Time to paraphrase Jackson. Not Reggie. Samuel L.

Enough is enough! I have had it with that motherf---ing Farnsworth on that motherf---ing mound!

*

I'm so mad at Farnsworth, I didn't even notice how the Mets did last night. Did they do any better?

Actually, I did notice: Oliver Perez got roughed up for six runs on only one out in the first inning. By the San Francisco Giants. The Barry Bonds-less, apparently steroid-less, Giants. The Mets lost, 10-2.

And the Detroit Red Wings, just 40 seconds or so from winning the Stanley Cup, got shocked with a last-minute goal, and then lost to the Pittsburgh Penguins in triple overtime.

Detroit fans were chanting, "We want the Cup!" and almost had it. Then, dead silence. Then two and a half overtimes of sensational goaltending by Chris Osgood of Detroit and Marc-Andre Fleury of Pitt. Then it was over.

The Wing who stood to be the man who scored the Cup-winning goal? Brian Rafalski, of the Devils' 2000 and 2003 Cup winners, but whom general manager Lou Lamoriello refused to re-sign, with devastating results. (Then again, Rafalski is from the Detroit area, so maybe it was a lost cause, but Lam should have at least tried.) The guy who scored the winning goal last night? Petr Sykora, of the Devils' 2000 Cup winners. Game 6 tomorrow night in Pittsburgh; if the Pens can win that, too, Game 7 two nights later in Detroit.

Boston Celtics vs. Los Angeles Lakers for the NBA Title. We're gonna party like it's 1969. Or 1987.

Who do I root for in this one?

Ordinarily, I can't root for L.A. I especially can't root for Kobe Bryant, who really should have gone to jail for something he did with/to that girl in Colorado.

But Boston doesn't deserve it. Maybe Kevin Garnett does. Maybe Ray Allen does. Maybe Paul Pierce does. But I have had it with those motherf---ing frontrunners in that motherf---ing New England, talking about how they're the sports capital of the world. Just because they've won as many World Championships (so far, all by the Red Sox and Patriots) in the last 7 years as the New York Tri-State Area has won in the last 9 years. Except they've won 5 in the last 22 years, while New York/New Jersey has won 12 over that span. (Los Angeles? 7.)

Let's go Lakers.

Joba makes his first major league start tonight. Pedro returns. One should knock 'em dead. The other might take that literally.

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