"Take your stinking paws off me, you Don dirty ape!"
Going into this rough 12-game, 4-series stretch, I said the Yankees needed to win at least 2 of 3 in each series in order to win the American League Eastern Division, and guarantee themselves 1 of the top 3 seeds in the AL Playoffs. They did take 2 out of the 3 away to the Houston Astros. And they took 2 out of the 3 at home to the AL East-leading Toronto Blue Jays. So far, so good.
Then the AL Central-Division leading Detroit Tigers came in. The Tuesday night game started out all right, with Will Warren pitching 6 innings and allowing 2 runs. Aaron Judge and Cody Bellinger each hit a solo home run. It was 2-2, and Warren had thrown only 91 pitches. Clearly, the right thing to do was to leave Warren in.
Aaron Boone is not there to do the right thing. He is there to do what Brian Cashman tells him to do. So he saw that Warren had thrown over 90 pitches, and took him out, and brought in Fernando Cruz. Cliché Alert: Walks can kill you. Cruz gave up ground-rule double, walk, bases-loading walk, RBI single, bases-loaded walk.
Boone pulled him, and brought in Mark Leiter Jr. He gave up an RBI single, leaving the bases still loaded. He hit a batter with a pitch, forcing in a run and keeping the bases loaded. He faced Gleyber Torres, once the face of Yankee prospects who didn't pan out, who so frequently made dumb outs when we needed big hits, and walked him to force another run home. Then Leiter threw a wild pitch to force home another run. Then he gave up a triple.
Boone pulled him, and brought Tim Hill in. Hill got a groundout, intentionally walked the next batter to set up the double play, but could only get a forceout on the next play. After another single, Hill finally ended the inning. Maybe he should have started it, so that the Tigers wouldn't have scored -- how many times, Ed Rooney? Nine times. It was the single worst Yankee bullpen meltdown I have ever seen.
The Tigers scored 1 more run in the 8th, for a final score of 12-2. The last 5 innings, the Tigers had a linescore of 20910. That's a ZIP Code in Silver Spring, Maryland, just outside Washington, D.C.
Just as the TV networks are still in Summer reruns, the Wednesday night game was a rerun of the one the night before. Carlos Rodón started, pitched 6 innings, and allowed 3 runs, 1 on an RBI single by Torres. He threw 102 pitches, and, with the Yankees having gotten only 2 hits and a walk, he left the game after 6 innings.
Boone went right to Leiter for the 7th this time. He wasn't nearly as bad, but was bad enough, allowing 2 singles, then getting a strikeout... and then, having faced the minimum 3 batters, was removed. Why would you ever remove a pitcher after a strikeout? Boone brought in Camilo Doval. The batter was Torres. He grounded to 2nd, and that allowed a run to score. 3-0 Detroit.
It was in the 8th, with Doval and then Hill, that the game fell completely apart, as the Tigers scored 5 runs. They added 2 more in the 9th. This time, their scoreline for the last 5 innings was 20153. That ZIP Code is on the other side of D.C., in Chantilly, Virginia. Austin Wells hit a home run in the bottom of the 8th, for all the good that did. Tigers 11, Yankees 1. No chance at 2 out of 3 now.
And then, last night, came the ultimate indignity -- and on September 11, no less. Donald Trump took advantage of a day of patriotism to show up at a ballgame, mainly to take attention off the American people's demand to see the Epstein Files. He shouldn't have been let into the ballpark. He shouldn't even have been let into the City, especially on September 11, after the lies he told about that day in 2001.
He came into the Yankee locker room, blathered, did his stupid "accordion hands" gesture, and talked about how every time George Steinbrenner invited him to the old Yankee Stadium, the Yankees won.
It's not true. Besides, like Richard Nixon after he left the Presidency, Trump went to Yankee games and Met games, depending on who was winning at the time. Fat Bastard is a front-runner. Always has been, always will be.
Judge looked very uncomfortable shaking hands and talking to Trump. Giancarlo Stanton and Jazz Chisholm stood together in the back, looking like they were trying to avoid him. After the game, when the YES Network's Meredith Marakovits asked Judge about it, he danced around the question and shifted the focus back on the team. He would make a better White House Press Secretary than anybody Trump's ever given the job to.
When Trump was shown on the scoreboard, the goombahs from Staten Island, Bensonhurst and Bergen County cheered him. Everybody else booed him, and the YES Network turned the sound down so the booing couldn't be heard.
"The Star-Spangled Banner" was sung by a member of the New York Police Department. At the 7th Inning Stretch, "God Bless America" was sung by a member of the Fire Department of New York. Both were women; the former was black, and the latter was Hispanic. Also during the Stretch, the Yankees honored their Veteran of the Game, an Army Bronze Star awardee from Vietnam, a war Trump lied to get out of serving in. The veteran was black.
None of these 3 selections was intended as such, but each could be interpreted as telling Trump that we value these people, while you call them "losers" and "suckers."
Remember when Trump showed up for a game between the University of Alabama, then ranked Number 1, and Louisiana State University (LSU), at Alabama? Alabama lost. Trump jinxed them.
He did not jinx the Yankees. Having already passed Yogi Berra on the all-time home run list with 358, Judge hit Numbers 360 and 361, surpassing Johnny Mize and tying Joe DiMaggio. Stanton hit Number 449, to tie Jeff Bagwell and Vladimir Guerrero Sr. None of the 3 homers were of the "short porch" variety. These were frozen ropes. Blue darters. Seat-seeking missiles.
Cam Schlittler started. He went 6 innings, allowed 1 run, and, because he threw 95 pitches, Boone didn't let him start the 7th. This time, though, Boone didn't trust Cruz, or Leiter, or Hill. He trusted Ryan Yarbrough, who went the rest of the way, and wasn't very good, but was good enough to not let the Tigers get close.
Yankees 9, Tigers 3, to salvage the series finale. The Yankees' linescore for the 1st 3 innings was 12240. That's a ZIP Code in Albany, New York.
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The Yankees are 81-65, guaranteeing their 33rd straight .500-or-better season. They are on a pace to go 90-72. With 16 games left, they trail the Blue Jays by 3 games in the AL East, with the Red Sox 3 1/2 games back. If the current standings hold to the end of the season, the Yankees will have the 4th seed in the Playoffs, the Sox the 5th, and they will play each other, with the Yanks having home-field advantage.
And now, they have to play the Sox in Fenway Park. And I'm hoping they don't follow a familiar pattern: Many times, I have seen them score a lot of runs right before going to Boston, and then struggle to score runs in that little green pinball machine.
Here are the times, networks, and projected starting pitchers:
* Tonight, 7:10, on Apple+: Luis Gil vs. Lucas Giolito.
* Tomorrow, 4:10, on YES (despite the starting time and the day of the week, Saturday, not on Fox): Max Fried vs. Bryan Bello.
* Sunday, 7:10, on ESPN (of course): Will Warren vs. Garrett Crochet.
Come on you Bombers! Beat The Scum!
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