Conservatives vs. Liberals

Conservatives like to say, "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner."

Conservatism is the wolves having steak, and telling the lambs that there will be some left over. Whether the wolves are telling the truth or lying doesn't matter: Lambs are sheep, and sheep don't eat meat.

Liberalism is 100 rams head-butting the wolves, and then leading the lambs to proper food.

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In 1776, the conservatives wanted to stay loyal to the British crown. The liberals said no, we have to declare independence.

In 1860, the conservatives, then the Democrats, said you can't do anything about slavery, and you shouldn't. The liberals, then the Republicans, said we must, and we will.

In 1900, the conservatives, by this point an unholy union of Republicans and Southern Democrats, said we can't write laws to protect working people, because it would encourage laziness. The liberals, by this point a union that only lasted a few years, of Democrats outside the South and a few Midwestern and Western Republicans, said that working people need protection.

In 1932, the conservatives said the federal government can't do anything to fix the Depression, and it shouldn't. The liberals said we must, and we will.

In 1941, the conservatives said we shouldn't go to war with Hitler, because he's fighting Communists. The liberals said we must, because he's a Fascist, and if we don't stop him, he'll do to us what he's doing to Europe.

In 1948, the conservatives said we have to roll Communism back. The liberals said containment was the way to go, because it would stop them and prevent World War III.

In 1962, the conservatives said we have to invade Cuba. The liberals said we have to find a solution that will avoid World War III.

In 1964, the conservatives said you can't pass civil rights laws, and you shouldn't. The liberals said we must, and we will.

In 1968, the conservatives said the Vietnam War was wrong because it was ineffective, and we can fight it better. The liberals said it's wrong because it's immoral.

In 1973, the conservatives said Richard Nixon is not a crook. In 1974, the liberals said, "See? We told you he is."

In 1980, Ronald Reagan said he could cut taxes on the rich, increase defense spending, and balance the budget by 1984. In 1982, the liberals said, "Congratulations, stupid: You vastly increased the deficit, and you took us from 7 to 11 percent unemployment. Now, we're going to raise taxes and save Social Security, and you're going to sign it, or else your next movie role is going to be in The Herbert Hoover Story." Reagan wasn't completely stupid: He signed the tax increase.

In 1992, the conservatives said it's a minor recession. The liberals said you're the ones who smoked and inhaled.

In 1998, the conservatives said character matters. The liberals said if it mattered as much as you say it does, half of you would be gone.

In 2008, the conservatives said we need to win the Iraq War, and let the auto industry go bankrupt. The liberals said we need to end the Iraq War now, and save the auto industry.

In 2020, the conservatives said COVID was a hoax, it will go away soon, protect yourself by injecting (fill in the cure of the month). The liberals said America is smarter than that.

In 2022, the conservatives said there is no right to an abortion. The liberals said you no longer have the right to use the word "freedom," because you just took one of the most important freedoms away, and we will make you pay at the ballot box, and we did, and we are still doing it.

Every single time an important decision had to be made by the country, the conservatives have been wrong, and the liberals have been right.

Take that thought to the polls.