New York Red Bulls: A Terrible Fan Chant. It is made all the worse since the mass shootings of the last 10 years: A song by the British punk bank Cock Sparrer:
Take 'em all!
Take 'em all!
Line 'em up against a wall and shoot 'em!
Short and tall!
Watch them fall!
Come on, boys, take them all!
Take them all!
Watch them fall!
Take 'em all...
Bad taste. Very bad.
New Jersey Devils: Measure Everything Against the Rangers. So what if The Scum have better attendance? So what if they have bigger stars? So what if they play in The City instead of Jersey? They don't have more success.
New York Islanders: Believe Their 4 Straight Stanley Cups Are Still Relevant. The last was in 1983. Reagan's 1st term. The theme from Flashdance was the Number 1 song in the country. The Internet wasn't even something most of us considered would ever exist. Only 1 player on the current roster (former Devils Captain Andy Greene) was even born yet. Not only was Lady Gaga not born yet, but the song that gave her the stage name, "Radio Ga Ga" by Queen, hadn't been recorded.
The Islanders reached the Conference Finals last season. But if they want to be truly relevant, they will have to get closer.
New York Rangers: Play the History Card. Ranger fans think Devils fans are jealous of their history, because they've won 4 Stanley Cups to our 3. Our Cups were 18, 21 and 26 years ago. Theirs were 27, 81, 88 and 93 years ago.
In the last 81 years, the Rangers have won 11 Stanley Cup Finals games. The Devils didn't even exist until 1982, and they've won 17. The Islanders debuted in 1972, and have won 21.
Yes, for Ranger fans, talking about history is even dumber than the "Potvin sucks!" chant.
Brooklyn Nets: Believe the Next Big Acquisition Will Make the Difference. Currently, they have Kevin Durant, James Harden, Kyrie Irving and LaMarcus Aldridge. They're loaded.
Well, the Nets were loaded in 2006. They had Jason Kidd, Richard Jefferson, Jason Collins and Jacque Vaughn. They won their Division, but lost in the 2nd Round of the Playoffs.
They were loaded in 2003. They had Kidd, Jefferson, Collins, Dikembe Mutombo, Kerry Kittles, Kenyon Martin, Brian Scalabrine and Rodney Rogers. They made it to the NBA Finals, but lost.
They were loaded in 1993. They had Derrick Coleman, Kenny Anderson, Drazen Petrovic, Jayson Williams, Chris Morris, Rumeal Robinson, an aging but still effective Maurice Cheeks, an aging but still effective Rick Mahorn, and something the Portland Trail Blazers never had: A reasonably healthy Sam Bowie. And they got beat in the 1st Round.
Look at what they had in 1986: Darryl Dawkins, Buck Williams, Otis Birdsong, Mike Gminski and Albert King. They got swept in the 1st Round.
Don't tell me the Nets are loaded. The Nets will always find the iceberg, and will always sink.
New York Knicks: Claim a Birthright. Knick fans think of basketball as New York's Game. Certainly, the City has had a pivotal role in the sport's history. But the Knicks are almost incidental to that. Think about it: 74 seasons, 8 trips to the NBA Finals, 2 Championships, and they were 51 and 48 years ago.
I've said it many times, and I'll say it again: The Knicks are one man away from being a serious title contender, but that one man is James Dolan.
New York Jets: Running Players Out of Town After Coaches Have Ruined Them. Sadly, this was given to me in the last communication from an online friend before he died from COVID. Sam Darnold is now set up to be the latest example.
New York Giants: Exaggerate Their Team's Importance. It is true that getting 75,000 into the Polo Grounds to watch the Giants play Red Grange and the Chicago Bears saved the team, and possibly the league, in 1925, the Giants' 1st season. And it's true that the Giants' 1956 title not only helped raise the sport's profile, as a New York team at the dawn of the TV era, but made defense attractive for the first time. And it's also true that their playing the 1958 NFL Championship Game, the so-called "Greatest Game Ever Played," helped to make them an iconic franchise, even though they lost it.
But the Giants' importance pretty much ends there, late in the Ike Age. Yes, they had the defining defensive player of his generation in Lawrence Taylor. But as good as the Giants' defense was in the 1980s, it was never better than that of the Chicago Bears. Did we love it when the Giants upset the New England Cheatriots in 2 Super Bowls? Yes, but neither is as iconic as the Super Bowl win of that other New York team in 1969.
And the Giants aren't even big in other teams' eyes. You would think that, at least geographically, they'd be a rival, maybe the rival, for the other New York team, or for Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington and Boston -- in this league, named "New England." They're not.
The New York Jets? The New England Patriots? Their biggest rivals are each other. That's partly due to the NFC-AFC divide, which also prevents the Giants from being rivals to the relatively-nearby Baltimore Ravens. The Philadelphia Eagles? The Washington Redskins? To each of those, for reasons too convoluted to cite here, the biggest rival is the Dallas Cowboys. The Cowboys themselves? They have plenty of rivals, and the Giants might not even be in the Top 10.
The Giants may be a "bigger club" than the Jets. But, outside the New York Tri-State Area, they don't matter nearly as much as they did before the Jets' Super Bowl III win. And yet, Giant fans believe they do.
New York Mets: Presume Moral Superiority. Apparently, it's okay for Steve Cohen to spend his billions to help the Mets win, but not for the Yankees to "buy their championships."
New York Yankees: Live Up to Their Image. All too often, we do show arrogance, and act like being N'Yawkuhs (or N'Jerseyans) automatically makes us better or tougher.
But when things go wrong, we can be just as soft as anybody else, as can be seen on #YankeesTwitter.
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